Benjamin Grelay

So go ahead.

Because she's saying, why do you got to talk about drugs in your act?

All my friends are going to see this shit and they're going to know you're a fucking drug addict.

It's like, well, what can I do?

I was what I was, you know?

Who the fuck gives a shit what your fucking do-nothing sister thinks?

Yeah.

That's what the guy backstage said last week.

You want to hear about my first armed robbery?

Let's go.

I was trying to avoid that, but it's kind of a long story, but let's go.

Okay, I was going to art school.

I was on my way to school, and these two friends of mine, we were 19 years old, they were waiting for me outside my driveway.

And I used to work at a gas station, and they knew I knew how to hotwire cars, because I used to steal cars from my friends.

And they would, you know, get the insurance money.

They'd let me drive their GTO for a few weeks.

And so they knew I knew how to hotwire a car, so they were waiting for me.

I'm going, wait, what the fuck are you guys doing out in front of my house at 8 o'clock in the morning?

And they're going, we're going to go rob this meatpacking plant, and we need you to hotwire a car for us.

And I was like, I got to go to school.