Brené Brown

Zach Morris.

Wait, wait, Brene, are you saying your family didn't pre-mortem all of your trips?

So ideally what they would all do is brainwriting where they each jot down the ideas they're genuinely excited about and then submit them anonymously.

Even do it on a piece of paper, you know, throw it in a hat and then shake it up and go around and read them.

And then they could do an anonymous vote or they could each have a veto.

But something to surface their independent preferences without having to necessarily own them because otherwise they're starting to worry about, but what does everybody else want to do?

and maybe even sometimes implicitly conforming to that.

I love that.

I mean, first of all, yeah, I want you to have fun.

And if you're having fun, I'm going to have fun.

I love that.

That's a mark of a real connection.

I'm also thinking about the way we've solved this in our family.

So even when it comes to choosing what movie we're going to watch, how many times have we watched a movie that nobody wanted to see, but everyone thought somebody else was excited about it?

What we do now is we just rotate.

So Alison chooses the movie this week, then it's Elena's choice next week, then Henry, then Joanna, then me.

And that way, like one person is in charge and they actually get to pick something they genuinely want.

Sometimes we have to use a 20 minute rule though, which is you can't say you hate it or you're bored until you've been through at least 20 minutes in the movie because otherwise you're judging it too soon.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah.