Elisabeth McKay

When I got offered to do mushrooms for the first time, I was like, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but yeah, let's do it.

But going back to this, I actually, in my opinion, was the prime candidate for this because I was very afraid to let go.

right so in this way I was forced to let go and when I came out of it yes the coming out of it phase was really disorienting and actually gave me a lot of anxiety because most people don't tell you that you're in this almost

dream-like confusing state afterwards where you know you're not tripping but reality doesn't seem the way that it did before either and there's a part of you that's like oh my god is it gonna be like this forever and I remember every day kind of panicking about that a little bit and then one day I just forgot and I was like oh I'm back to normal thank god but you kind of if you've never had it before again going back to I naturally have heightened interoception I was kind of like waiting for the other shoe to drop like am I going to be changed forever is this never going to go away

But ultimately what I was left with from that experience was that I actually, I can let go and I can have fun and I don't have to be in control.

And I honestly, I think I may have laughed harder during that trip than I have ever before in my whole life.

And I chose to do it at boarding school, which probably was a bad decision because at some point in the night, my dorm parent thought that I was acting weird and came to my room and shined a flashlight in my eyes and was like, are you tripping?

And if you know me, you know that I'm stubborn and I my consciousness is very strong.

So in that moment, I somehow overrode the tripping and was like, excuse me, I have a fever and I would really like it if you would leave my room.

I like immediately I just like flipped the tables on them and like power played them.

They're like, sorry, sorry, sorry.

And then I went back tripping.

I was like, oh, that was scary.

So I was able to override just enough to scare the person into not getting me in trouble.

I was 13.

You guys was a wildlife.

But going back to this, it planted enough of a seed in me that there was something about me that changed, I think, permanently from this place.

And I did it quite a few more times throughout kind of like my 20s.

I think I've probably done mushrooms maybe five times.

Actually, once, ironically, this is a hilarious story.