Kerry Washington

And I remember my mom saying to me, I know that you think you know everything. I was like 16. She was like, for you, your 16 years are the full picture. But your 16 years are a fraction of our marriage. We were together long before you got here. So we have had good times and bad times. We've had ups and downs. Your little window into this is not the full story.

And I remember my mom saying to me, I know that you think you know everything. I was like 16. She was like, for you, your 16 years are the full picture. But your 16 years are a fraction of our marriage. We were together long before you got here. So we have had good times and bad times. We've had ups and downs. Your little window into this is not the full story.

And that was a really important lesson to me in marriage. what marriage is, that there are like, there are highs and lows. It's a journey. It's a path. And like, if you're committed, you have to be committed for the journey. Um, and that's not to say that I don't agree with divorce and I don't think divorce isn't right for some people that, you know, some relationships are meant to be forever.

And that was a really important lesson to me in marriage. what marriage is, that there are like, there are highs and lows. It's a journey. It's a path. And like, if you're committed, you have to be committed for the journey. Um, and that's not to say that I don't agree with divorce and I don't think divorce isn't right for some people that, you know, some relationships are meant to be forever.

Some are for a season. Like I, all of that is true, but I think I, um, I had an understanding that marriage as a commitment, if you're going to make the commitment, it has to be about something deeper than ego. Like it has, something has to keep you, if you're going to do it with love and joy and I mean, I don't know if I need to say any other word other than love.

Some are for a season. Like I, all of that is true, but I think I, um, I had an understanding that marriage as a commitment, if you're going to make the commitment, it has to be about something deeper than ego. Like it has, something has to keep you, if you're going to do it with love and joy and I mean, I don't know if I need to say any other word other than love.

If you're gonna do it with real love, then having something deeper to commit to that's bigger than just the two of you is really important. So I think that's where the spirit comes in.

If you're gonna do it with real love, then having something deeper to commit to that's bigger than just the two of you is really important. So I think that's where the spirit comes in.

So, I mean, one thing is I'm always careful to talk too much about like the us when he's not in the room, because I feel like. It's interesting. It's sort of like with my kids. I don't post a lot about my kids or talk a lot about their inner lives or their journeys because I feel like their story is theirs and they have a right to tell their story in their way.

So, I mean, one thing is I'm always careful to talk too much about like the us when he's not in the room, because I feel like. It's interesting. It's sort of like with my kids. I don't post a lot about my kids or talk a lot about their inner lives or their journeys because I feel like their story is theirs and they have a right to tell their story in their way.

And I feel that way a little bit about my marriage too. If we were both sitting here, we could kind of agree and co-sign on it. But I would say... The first thing I thought about when you asked me that question is the importance of therapy. Because... Let's go! Let's go! Right? Like, individual therapy, couples therapy. Like, being willing to have spaces... where you do the work.

And I feel that way a little bit about my marriage too. If we were both sitting here, we could kind of agree and co-sign on it. But I would say... The first thing I thought about when you asked me that question is the importance of therapy. Because... Let's go! Let's go! Right? Like, individual therapy, couples therapy. Like, being willing to have spaces... where you do the work.

And I remember my dad one day being like, you guys are in couples therapy, like what's wrong? And we were like, nothing, like nothing's wrong. It is a place where we go to take care of our marriage. In the way that I go to the gym to take care of my body, or I go to the dentist to take care of my teeth,

And I remember my dad one day being like, you guys are in couples therapy, like what's wrong? And we were like, nothing, like nothing's wrong. It is a place where we go to take care of our marriage. In the way that I go to the gym to take care of my body, or I go to the dentist to take care of my teeth,

I feel like as a couple, we deserve and therefore we cultivate a place where we care for our relationship. And it doesn't come out of crisis. It doesn't come out of things that are bad. I mean, in fact, like we spend a lot of time in therapy consciously talking about what we're doing well and acknowledging that. for each other.

I feel like as a couple, we deserve and therefore we cultivate a place where we care for our relationship. And it doesn't come out of crisis. It doesn't come out of things that are bad. I mean, in fact, like we spend a lot of time in therapy consciously talking about what we're doing well and acknowledging that. for each other.

Cause it's really important to not take for granted that there are good things to celebrate and acknowledge about each other. Right. And so that's, I mean, I feel like therapy is a big part of that spiritual commitment. So one of the things I remember my, one of, one of my many therapists saying early on to me was, A healthy relationship is not just about like give and take.

Cause it's really important to not take for granted that there are good things to celebrate and acknowledge about each other. Right. And so that's, I mean, I feel like therapy is a big part of that spiritual commitment. So one of the things I remember my, one of, one of my many therapists saying early on to me was, A healthy relationship is not just about like give and take.

Like I do for you, you do for me. That actually it's important to think about the relationship almost as a third entity that you're both pouring into. It's like a bank account. It's like a spiritual or emotional love account where like I'm not just doing for him and then he owes me. It's like we're both pouring into this thing that matters to us, which is the marriage.

Like I do for you, you do for me. That actually it's important to think about the relationship almost as a third entity that you're both pouring into. It's like a bank account. It's like a spiritual or emotional love account where like I'm not just doing for him and then he owes me. It's like we're both pouring into this thing that matters to us, which is the marriage.