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Mason Bird

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
190 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

All right.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

I used to do surprisingly well, but the love life in Austin has been pretty rough.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

I kill in the Midwest, though.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Hell, yeah.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

In the Midwest, I'm hot.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Yeah.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Here, I'm just a fat guy.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Yeah.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

It's a flightless bird.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

The last time I had sex, I was like a chef at a bar, and I had a knack for banging hot waitresses for some reason.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

And just after work, she had a boyfriend, and she just threw herself at me, and I found out I wasn't a good dude that night.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

I will help your girlfriend cheat on you.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

I found that out about myself.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

But no, she was really fun.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Did she go on top, or is she still alive?

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

She's dead.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

She's dead.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Yeah, our safe word is .

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Yeah, I try to write like five minutes a week, and sometimes it's really ass, so I just get rid of it or try to make it better, but 20 minutes of good material.

KILL TONY
#738 - JIMMY CARR + ANDREW SANTINO

Desk.