Rishi Keshe Hirway

And we tend to listen to other people that way too.

But you can't really get immersed if that's the case.

Imagine trying to listen to a song while singing a different song in your head.

You can't do it, or you can't do it well, and you can't fully appreciate what someone else is saying if you're thinking about something else.

I'm also a big believer in the power of nonverbal communication.

Like, just a simple act of a nod is a way to let the other person know that you're engaged.

and also invites them to keep going and say more.

That kind of intentional, engaged silence makes space for them.

Sometimes, though, you do have to actually ask for more.

You have to draw them out.

But if you can ask for what's below the surface of what they just said, you might unlock some door for them and invite them to go through it with you.

That also means turning off the instinct to talk about yourself.

I used to think that this was actually the best way to show that I was really listening.

Someone would tell me something and I'd say, oh man, you know, that reminds me of this thing that happened to me.

And then I would tell a whole story of my own.

But it's kind of like listening to half a song and then saying, oh, you know, this part reminds me of this other song.

And then turning that first song off and going and putting on some other song, which is also something I've done.

But you can't get deeper if you lose the moment like that.

So it's a challenge to your impatience and to your selfishness to be engaged without making it about you.

Okay, and so now to ignore the advice about talking about yourself, I would like to talk about myself and tell you a little bit about me and that song that I played you a part of to hopefully illustrate what I'm talking about.