Simone Stolzoff

And they're all damaging in their own ways.

I think the other side of each of these traps has a virtue as well.

So on the other side of comfort is growth.

When we're able to get outside of our comfort zone, that's when we're able to learn and to grow.

When we're able to trade some of that hubris for open-mindedness.

for humility, that's when we're able to learn.

Because when we think we know all the answers, we aren't opening our mind to new information that might emerge.

I think that's a particularly important skill for leaders.

We think that the best leaders are the people that have the most conviction and talk about the future with the most certainty.

But actually, the best leaders, research shows, are people who can admit what they don't know and persist nonetheless.

Flip-flopping has a brand problem.

Changing your mind about something is a sign of growth.

It's a sign of being attentive to new information as it presents itself.

And yet we judge people so much when they change their mind.

I think the perception of this is changing a little bit in fields outside of politics.

Adam Grant wrote this great book called Think Again that's all about this topic.

But the truth is, there's some great research in the book about how scientists, for example, that admit they were wrong in the past are seen as much more favorably than scientists that just think that they're right all the time.

Anyway, the last certainty trap is control, which I think is one of the hardest, especially for ambitious type A people who want to see their life go in a certain direction.

I think it holds us back a lot, particularly in the dating realm.

I have a lot of friends who are dating and they want