Thais Gibson

I'm like, okay, cool.

Where do you do that to yourself?

And it's always on point for people.

Like, oh, I lie to myself by saying yes to things that are a no for me.

Or I violate my own boundaries to please people.

Or I'm unavailable to myself because I don't speak for my own emotions.

I people please and focus on everyone else.

Like the things that you'll see that you end up investing in are always patterns within self-first relationships.

And it can be really meaningful to see that and then start doing the rewiring to change it.

So the rewiring exists in the core wounds.

It exists in us meeting our needs as the second pillar.

So trauma are the things that happen to us that shouldn't have happened, like abuse or painful circumstances that imprint us with core wounds.

But also it's the things that didn't happen that should have happened.

So for example, if you grow up in a, that's a Gabor Matze quote, by the way.

I'm obsessed with him.

Yeah, I love him.

And if you grew up in a childhood, for example, where you were supposed to get emotional connection, but you were neglected, right?

That's its own trauma, just in a more obscure form.

And so what we do in our healing for pillar number two is we write down, we put a list on our page of mom and dad, and we write down all the needs that we didn't get met, that we yearned for.

Mm-hmm.