Wee Man

My name is, I'm a gypsy.

Yeah, that just means I have a hard time answering simple questions like, where are you from, what are you doing here, and have you seen my dog?

Yeah.

My family's from Czechoslovakia.

Yeah.

Back then, it wasn't a good time to be Jewish, so it turns out a gypsy is just a Jew that lost their documents.

Still sucked.

But a lot of people like to remind me, hey, that's not a country.

Like, thanks for reminding me I don't have a home, right?

We should have been clever and named it something that would stick, like Israel.

Then it would still be around and real today, right?

But I'm a little suspicious, you know?

I think, like, Greenland is an iceberg.

Turkey, it's full of cats.

And then whenever the immigrants come to the border, Hungary is like, sorry, we're full.

but it was easy growing up with immigrant parents.

Actually, they were clever, you know?

They knew enough kids at school were calling me a fat retard.

Why would they pay money for me to hear that from a professional?

I used to be fat, but still stupid, so the school system's broken, but fat shaming works.