Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The Clare Byrne Show on Newstalk. With Aviva Insurance.
Now, earlier this week, I spoke to Michael Harbert of Widowed and Bereaved Partners Ireland. And Michael wanted to raise the issue of the lack of supports in Ireland for those who have lost a partner. And so many of you got in touch after that interview to say that that's not spoken about enough and that you feel your voices aren't being heard. And one of those people was my next guest, Sarah.
Thank you so much for getting in touch. Thanks, Clare. Thank you so much. And it's nice to talk to you.
Chapter 2: What is the lack of support for those who have lost a partner?
I just want to talk to you about firstly about your own story. So how you ended up where you are today. Your husband died in 2023. So six years ago.
Sorry, two and a half, nearly three years ago.
I had 2026 in my head, Sarah, my apologies. So almost almost three years ago now.
Yeah, it's two and a half years ago tomorrow. Today, actually. Today, actually. Yeah, God. Yeah, my husband, we were sitting in front of the fire and I went out of the room and heard his voice change. He was talking to someone on the phone and my young fella came in and said, Ma'am, Dad's not waking up. And... We came in and I saw he was going blue and he just had a massive cardiac arrest.
I still don't know the reason why there's people walking around the place with what he had in his heart, which was something very, very minor. And yeah, it was just devastating.
And instant as well, it sounds like.
Yeah, I mean, you can imagine going home tonight, making plans with your husband and two hours later, you're a widow.
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Chapter 3: What personal story does Sarah share about losing her husband?
I can't really, I can't, to be honest with you, I can't really imagine what that must be like.
No, it's just, it's awful. It's your worst, it really is one of your worst nightmares. Your world just changes. It goes upside down every night, every, you know, overnight. And you're left coping on your own. In my case, I'm left coping with teenagers, which is a nightmare. You can imagine, you know, grumpy teenagers, difficult teenagers. You have four children, is that right?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah. And how are they doing?
It's very difficult for them. My young lad that came to me and said, Dad's not waking up. He can tell me how many times they shocked him. He ran and got the defibrillator. I couldn't tell you, like, what they did that night, but he can tell you every bit of it. And then the rest of them, two of them then don't want to talk about it at all. And, you know, you can't go there at the minute, so.
I've just been told let it be, you know, they'll deal with grief in their own time, you know.
So while all of that emotional toll is working its way through and I can hear that it's still a huge struggle as it would be, it's very recent. You have to deal with all of the other stuff as well. So tell us about all of that other side of it, Sarah.
Yeah, I mean, it just really shocked me. You know, I've worked my whole life. I'm professional. And then you're dealing with this grief and people expect, you know, two years on, a year on, you'll start to pick up the pieces and you'll be OK and you'll get on with life. But, you know, particularly with a sudden death, you've no warning. And it's really now it's hitting home. But, yeah,
You know, from a tax and a benefits point of view, it's really shocking. So, for a start, you're given five days, you know, statutory for your husband to die. Now, in my case, I couldn't have even organised a funeral because there had to be an autopsy.
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Chapter 4: How did Sarah's husband's sudden death affect her family?
It took eight days for us to get, you know, to have the funeral because of the hold up with autopsies and that. Then you're entitled to widow's contributory pension according to your partner's or your husband's or wife's contributions. But what's really shocked me is you're not entitled to sick leave if that happens, which is your own contributions.
So if you go on sick leave and your company doesn't have a sick leave policy, you're down to only what you get in your widow's pension and you're not entitled to draw on your own contributions of illness benefit. And that, Clare, was changed back in 2012. that you can only claim one contribution from social welfare at any one time, even though you can get half-rate carers.
So it's contrary, really, the law to widows.
So one cancels out the other. The widow's pension cancels out the sick leave, so you can't get that from the state.
Yeah, even though the widow's is not your contributions, it's your partner's. And, you know, your contributions are the illness. So it seems grossly unfair to me Then you're taxed on the widow's pension, which is fine. That's taxed at 20%. But then the 20 to 25,000, whatever you get, depending on whatever kids you have, is taking off your standard rate band of 46,000.
So anything, in my case, over 21,000, I'm taxed at 46 or 50%, whatever, you know, the highest band is these days. So you're being absolutely hammered. And the government will say, oh, you know, we give five years of extra benefits, you know, tax, you know, of an extra tax band. But it's tiny.
You know, you're going from being a married couple and having joint tax credits where you can share them accordingly to being a single person, being hammered on tax, being hammered on social welfare. If you're off sick, which is in my case at the minute, and you're dependent on the widow's pension, I'm down now to 490 euros a week to live off.
With four children and one income. So what you wouldn't have expected is that you would be so much worse off financially after your husband died, which is what the reality is.
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't worked my whole life, you know, never, ever been sick. never drawn on sick leave, never. It's just, and you know, to try, at the minute I'm trying to apply for a medical card and it's just a nightmare because every time I submit what they want me to submit, they come back looking for more stuff.
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Chapter 5: What challenges does Sarah face as a young widow with children?
She managed to educate us but I seriously don't know how she did it. I always remember her eating a tiny dinner or none to make sure that we got fed. It is disgusting. The WhatsApp number is 087 1400 106.
The Clare Byrne Show. With Aviva Insurance. Weekday mornings at 9. On Newstalk. Conversation that counts.