Chapter 1: What are the origins of Martin Luther's teachings?
They say history is written by the winners, but it is kept alive by losers. Boring people with sad lives and body odour, National Trust employees are, in a way, their own kind of ruin. Much like this 12th century abbey, their genitals have long since been abandoned and now lie crumbling to be visited only by the very ugly.
Excuse me?
But if history is written by the winners, who is history written for? Well, the answer is obviously men. Not you! Go away! Women, of course, have fiction, novels, but that's not for men. Why should I care about some made-up, horny Irish people?
Chapter 2: How did Martin Luther's ideas influence the Protestant Reformation?
History is about so much more than looking around a shit building staffed by sexless fatties. Mooring. What are you still doing here? History can get the blood pumping. Things like tank battles, amphibious landings, the exploitation of indigenous communities. This is history that gets a man rock hard when we talk about things like slavery, war crimes or genocide.
It's high time we realised that not all history is created equal. And that's why I'm delighted to announce that my first book, The History of Mankind in its Entirety, brackets abridged, an unsupervised PhD, is available now to pre-order in hardback or audiobook if you're thick. Oi, have you got permission to film here? Welcome back to Finn vs. History.
Chapter 3: What role did the printing press play in spreading Luther's message?
I'm joined by Horatio Gould. Hello. And today is part two of our deep dive on the Reformation. Yeah. Martin Luther, a great man. You're loving this. You're a pig in shit. I am a pig in shit. And I don't just mean in this episode. I mean generally.
Chapter 4: How did Luther's views on individualism shape modern thought?
No. Thanks to this man, Luther. He has held up a mirror to me and I can see that I'm a pig and shit. Yeah.
And you like what you see.
It's my own relationship with shit. I don't need some intermediary, some middleman.
It's a Catholic bureaucracy. It's your own reading of what the shit means.
Yes.
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Chapter 5: What impact did the Diet of Worms have on Luther's life and legacy?
Yeah. Yeah, I have been given a label finally to understand my own brain. Presbyterian, I'm an extremist and I'm just reading back my own history really. But you're, so hang on, if you're mixed Catholic, so you're mixed race, how does that manifest though?
It's sort of like on the scale, if you're... It's also in the straight gay scale, isn't it? Yeah. You know, you drink black coffee. I drink coffee with milk. Right.
Say no more.
Chapter 6: How did Luther's marriage affect his role in the Reformation?
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do.
And it's like... So I definitely... I enjoy subtext. I enjoy poetry. I enjoy art. I enjoy visual things. Yeah. But... It does get too much sometimes. Right.
Chapter 7: What were the consequences of the German Peasant War inspired by Luther?
And I go, all right, that's enough.
So I like a bit of gay stuff. I like gay aesthetics, to be honest. I'm very visually gay. Yes, you are. It's just emotionally I'm straight as hell.
If you could, you would walk down the street in dungaree shorts wearing a little necktie.
Good.
Woo!
But then the kind of crying at everything, I don't relate to that.
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Chapter 8: How did Luther's writings influence future generations and ideologies?
So that's the rare combination that is like, I want to be involved and when we're gossiping, it's all really fun. But when it gets too emotional, I'm like, well, I need to- When the dicks come out and they're putting people's hands up.
So I drink black coffee. You drink coffee with milk. The Italians are putting ice cream in coffee. It's a new level, okay? They are beyond repair. Who is working after that? Who's going to work having had a fucking affogato at 10 in the morning? Now we didn't really deal with Martin Luther, the man. The man, the myth, the legend. The man, the myth, my king, my legend.
But he is, we find him now at the Diet of Worms.
Yeah, I guess this is your love of German history as well. Martin Luther is a real, there's something intrinsically German about him. Yes, yes. The kind of intenseness, I guess.
Again, he's the first sort of person... Is there a humorlessness to Martin Luther? Sure.
Of course.
A serious... Yeah. But also a... Groundedness to him. You know, there's no element of fantasy. No. Or like hope.
Yeah.
There's a realism. There's a coldness. Yeah. There's a logic. Yeah.
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