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Keep It Tight

Squat Comedy

29 Apr 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

3.17 - 20.676 Deirdre O'Kane

We said we'd keep it tight. We would 100% lied. We did. I'm Deirdre O'Kane. I'm Eva Doard. So keep it tight is basically the unfiltered chats that we'd normally have in the WhatsApp. The kind of carry on you'd screech off for your mate. Maybe like your mum. No overthinking. We kind of just let it all out. And somehow people keep showing up to hear more.

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20.796 - 22.499 Deirdre O'Kane

Follow Keep It Tight wherever you get your podcasts.

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22.639 - 27.186 Emma Doard

New episodes every Wednesday. Now brought to you by ACAST.

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34.912 - 57.544 Deirdre O'Kane

Finally got to Berlin. I'm dying to hear about Berlin. Oh, Jesus, the crack, love, the crack. Will we ever forget the palaver of me trying to sell tickets in Berlin? Seriously. Like all of us, everybody in the agency, we're literally for the last month going, what is going on with Berlin? Like, honestly, when you've sold more tickets than Oslo, something is off.

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57.524 - 79.927 Deirdre O'Kane

So I just decided, okay, this is funny now. This is funny. I'm just going to keep going. I'm going to talk about this. I'm going to keep posting. I was like, is there anyone I know in Berlin? The whole kit and caboodle. Anyway, I ended up with 60 people. Yeah, great. They were fabulous. They gave me a standing ovation. We had the crack. But I mean, it was a cinema.

Chapter 2: What do Deirdre and Emma discuss about their experiences in Berlin?

80.588 - 94.145 Deirdre O'Kane

Do you know, Emma, in your mind, you think, OK, well, I'll have crack. And there might be a little club vibe and there'll be tables and we can chat and all. And you arrive in and it's a massive room, cinema. It's like, OK.

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94.686 - 95.046 Emma Doard

Yeah.

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95.987 - 99.732 Deirdre O'Kane

I said to them, I need you to rope off the first scene.

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Chapter 3: What challenges did Deirdre face while selling tickets in Berlin?

99.712 - 103.437 Deirdre O'Kane

In fairness, they did. They were so helpful and they did all that.

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103.457 - 116.056 Unknown

Oh, that's great because I have seen you go into rooms before the gig and tell the people how you want the room. Yeah. And I can see that in my mind now straight away. Oh, straight away.

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116.276 - 132.298 Deirdre O'Kane

I needed to rope that off because you could have 60 people and 20 of them would decide to sit up the back. Yeah, yeah. No use to you. I had to bunch them all together. And I did bunch them all together and they had a great time. And a load of Irish people in. Fair play to them. Do you know there was one moment that I thoroughly enjoyed?

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132.438 - 153.941 Deirdre O'Kane

At one point, you know that I have this joke when I say there's something wrong with men. I can kind of say this now because I'm really at the end of the tour. Yeah. And then I go, and I have to clarify because obviously I'm mad about men. Yeah. So I have to explain myself. And then I realised there was three men. What age would we say they were? 50s? Do I hear 60s, right?

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154.001 - 165.808 Deirdre O'Kane

Somewhere between 50 and... 65, maybe. Okay, so your age? I'm going to just ignore that completely. I can't cope with that at all. Go on anyway.

Chapter 4: How did Deirdre's show in Berlin turn out?

165.868 - 189.329 Deirdre O'Kane

Let's just say 50s. Right. My age, 50s, yeah. Right, anyway. Three men, now it's unusual to see three men on their own. No women with them, no women in front of them, sitting together. I said, I'm intrigued, I have to talk to you three now. What's happening here? I said... No women with you? No, no, no. We're brothers. I said, oh, three brothers. Yeah. Amazing.

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189.409 - 209.702 Deirdre O'Kane

And I said, so does one of you live in Berlin? Assuming somebody had come to visit. Yeah. Oh, we all live in Dublin. Oh, and why are you in Berlin? Every now and again, we just take off on a little skite. And I said, and you decided to come to see me? I said, you couldn't get yourselves into the Olympia. Where are you from? Walkenstown. Walkenstown.

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210.503 - 222.198 Deirdre O'Kane

So the three lads and their brothers away for a weekend somehow found Deirdre in this little cinema in Berlin. Well, I said, I never needed you more. I didn't need you in the Olympia.

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222.218 - 223.219 Emma Doard

I need you here.

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223.279 - 245.667 Deirdre O'Kane

Yeah, exactly. I was delighted with them. Howling all the way through my show Howling, the three of them, yeah. They were probably in great form after going to the Brassels. They were in fly form. Fly form. Loads of people. Then I met a group of women who were on me playing the following morning and they were also in Berlin for the weekend. Oh, wow. And decided to come and see me.

246.085 - 263.388 Deirdre O'Kane

You see, that's it. You just never know what people are coming from. You just don't know. And she met me getting on the plane the next morning. She said, yeah, no, I just, I just looked a bus on in Berlin this weekend. I said, oh, will we go to Siddharth, OK? Brilliant. I mean, it's gas, isn't it? See, everyone's globetrotting. It's not just us. Everyone's going here, there and everywhere.

263.468 - 280.317 Deirdre O'Kane

Yeah, but you just, I suppose when you go to those places, you just expect that it's going to be the expats and the people who live in Berlin. Yeah, I know that's what you're focusing on. You forget that there's people that will be going off on little trips. I know, but I just think that they'd be seeking out something German, you know, a German experience.

280.377 - 286.048 Deirdre O'Kane

They won't be thinking, oh, let's go and see an Irish comic that we can go and see down the road anytime we want.

286.028 - 290.016 Emma Doard

Yeah, but I suppose they're not going to see you with 60 other people in Berlin.

Chapter 5: What unique experiences did Deirdre have with her audience in Berlin?

301.157 - 319.933 Deirdre O'Kane

So I said, you're welcome. 500 critics that'd be paying for an exclusive evening to be just one of 50 or 60 people an evening with, it's called. It's actually a private corp, which it is. A very intimate... Well, come here, that's great numbers because I don't hear of anyone doing any great shakes in Berlin.

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319.913 - 339.593 Deirdre O'Kane

No, this was the chat I was having with other comedians who were saying, what's the story of Berlin? So it turns out that Berlin being the huge, you know, cultural hub that it is, they're just wild for choice, Amber. There's just so much on. Right. On any given weekend, like there's massive concerts, like you're competing with...

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339.573 - 348.469 Unknown

I suppose you wouldn't want to take the risk, but it'd probably be easier to sell a big room there rather than a small room that would kind of get lost in the... You might be easier to sell a bigger room.

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348.489 - 372.335 Deirdre O'Kane

Yeah, you might. That would be an option. Risky, but you know, an option for sure. But yeah, there's just so much. You're competing with every rock star, every singer, every... Everyone's going there. So much going on. So much going on. But while I threw, what did I do? I was in despair before I left because I didn't know. All I thought I had was 40 tickets or so. Okay, yeah.

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372.636 - 387.765 Deirdre O'Kane

Well, big difference between 40 and 60. Correct. Only you and I would really understand that. Huge difference. Anyway, so I'm thinking, oh, this could be carnage. Because I thought they could be 40 people for whom English isn't their first language. They could be struggling.

388.286 - 393.576 Emma Doard

So I didn't know what I was getting. 40, you just about have a gig. But 60, you have a gig.

394.117 - 415.201 Deirdre O'Kane

Yes. That's the way I'd look at it. Yeah, I agree. Now, if you were in a small, tiny little room, it would be grand. Yeah, definitely. But not in a massive cinema. No. Anyway, I decided, I know what I'm going to do now. I'm going to throw money at this situation. Yeah. Sometimes that's the answer. So I booked myself into Soho House Hotel. Okay. Brilliant. I hadn't booked a hotel on my way.

415.582 - 437.762 Deirdre O'Kane

But you know the way the sun came out there a few days ago? Yeah, I was thinking of it. Kind of hiding away now this morning. So the sun came out, so I looked up the weather, Berlin, 16 degrees. That's warm enough to sit by a pool, isn't it? Oh, yeah. So I googled rooftop pools, Berlin. Oh, yeah. Rooftop pools and up came Soho House. Now, it was double the price of any other hotel.

438.142 - 438.303 Emma Doard

Right.

Chapter 6: What luxury hotel did Deirdre stay at during her trip?

956.183 - 977.147 Deirdre O'Kane

Okay. And what was going on there? Well, they were on business, two of them. They said, yeah, I said, what do you do? We make puzzles. We invent puzzles for newspapers like Sudoku and things like this. They'd been on the lash the night before. There was nothing they hadn't done in Berlin. I'm just going to say, they were happy with the condoms in the room, weren't they?

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977.127 - 996.176 Deirdre O'Kane

Well, I didn't ask them, but I'm sure, you know, I didn't get the impression they were, I don't know. I don't know what they were up to. I don't know. I mean, they were all dads. They all had, one of them had a new baby. So he was, he was quieter than the other two. And I said, well, that's, you're tired. I said, you're tired. Yeah, he should be quiet. I think. The baby was eight weeks old. Okay.

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996.196 - 1002.273 Unknown

If we heard that he, to be honest, it's a. I know my youngest is 11. I'm far removed from her.

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1002.293 - 1022.119 Deirdre O'Kane

But if I'd heard he was having a great time with a newborn at home, I might have thrown up. Well, it was baby number four, so it was well used. Anyway, the other two, they were just, I tell you, I'm just going to say, just to be positive about men, they're getting an awful rap, aren't they, at the moment? I nearly feel sorry for them. Yeah. Ah, Jesus, they were just so entertaining. We were...

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1022.099 - 1048.005 Deirdre O'Kane

We were best friends. By the end of the afternoon, they ordered drinks, I ordered. We lunched the food. We were chatting away. They were so quick and smart and funny. And they weren't flirting with me. They weren't seedy. There wasn't an agenda. Yeah, they were just hanging out. We just had pure crack. They were intrigued that I was going off to tell jokes.

1048.34 - 1049.883 Emma Doard

They could get over this.

1049.943 - 1060.042 Deirdre O'Kane

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they did say, now come and join us afterwards. Come and join us. Come and find us afterwards. I said, okay, yeah, okay. And I didn't. Yeah, yeah, I know too much then after, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Chapter 7: What features made the Soho House Hotel stand out for Deirdre?

1060.082 - 1068.979 Deirdre O'Kane

Now, in fairness, you know yourself, when I came off stage, I was buzzing and I could have done with one drink. If they'd been anywhere near me, I would have joined them for one, but they were miles off apparently.

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1069.957 - 1091.547 Deirdre O'Kane

So that was that. Wasn't that lovely? And I just thought this holiday has really worked out. It was just the loveliest afternoon. I was buzzing then. I was walking up to my gig. I'd had two Aperol Spritz. I got a slice of pizza and then I had a Coke just to get me sharp, my brains sharpened. Then I had the lovely gig, the lads from Walkenstown, the women from Dublin.

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1091.567 - 1112.437 Deirdre O'Kane

Then I walked home by myself, the half hour, felt unbelievably safe with my headphones on, walking through Berlin, you know. Yeah. You know, just delighted. Busy, loads of people around. So then I went back and said, now it's time to check out the Soho House, you know, the party club, because the club is there. And, you know, it costs a couple of grand to join Soho House, the club. Okay.

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1112.457 - 1134.502 Deirdre O'Kane

So I thought, well, now, Deirdre, like, if you don't check out the club while you're here, as you can get in because you're a resident, you're good for nothing. Right, so tell us. So up I went to the bar. Hoped, Jesus, there might be some cracking now. Sat at the bar by meself. Everyone cooler than... Too cool for school. Rock stars. You know, oh, everyone having a ball.

1134.703 - 1142.695 Deirdre O'Kane

But just sat at the bar... So unapproached, I ordered fried chicken and a gin and tonic and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

1142.875 - 1143.115 Unknown

Yeah.

1143.696 - 1159.939 Deirdre O'Kane

But no, there was no crack to be had. And then a dreadful thing happened the next day. I had already put a post on my Instagram the day before saying, is anyone I know going to be in Berlin? What happened to me when I was checking out the next month? I mean, it was perfectly fine. It was the perfect comedown. I just needed a bit of chicken.

1159.959 - 1185.535 Deirdre O'Kane

I was hungry and a gin and tonic and I went to my bed to lie to myself. I had an early flight the next morning. I'm standing at the door, waiting aboard my Uber. And I look to my right and I look, I see this girl. I do kind of a double take. And then she looks at me and she goes, Dee, Dee, it's Kate. Kate from Gordon and French, one of me agents. I said, Kate, what the fuck?

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