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Something You Should Know

SYSK TRENDING - The Power of Validation

09 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: How can you make a strong first impression?

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Today on Something You Should Know, how to look more intelligent when you're making that all-important first impression. Then the important communication skill of validating the person you're talking to.

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14.487 - 30.983 Michael Sorensen

I know people who've literally saved negotiations that were six-figure deals that were about to be lost simply because they stepped in and validated the other party first before negotiating. It helps people be more open to your feedback and your advice. It helps you deepen your relationships.

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Then, can washing your hands actually wash away bad luck? You might be surprised. And developing mental toughness so you can perform at your best no matter what. It really boils down to self-confidence.

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Chapter 2: What is the importance of validation in communication?

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See, self-confidence, Mike, is the single most important variable for all human performance. And if my self-confidence is low, it's going to make it difficult for me to perform at or above my potential. All this today on Something You Should Know.

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63.143 - 65.911 Mike Carruthers

Something you should know. Fascinating intel.

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Chapter 3: How does validation improve relationships?

66.132 - 75.28 Mike Carruthers

The world's top experts. And practical advice you can use in your life. Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers.

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Hi, welcome to Something You Should Know. I don't know about you, but I find that if I'm not careful, I spend a lot of time in front of the television watching the coverage of all that's going on in the world with the coronavirus. And it does get a little overwhelming at times. If you find yourself in that situation, I invite you to dive into our archives.

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We've got 300 plus episodes of this podcast to listen to. almost none of which talk about the coronavirus. And it's a great way to fill up some of the extra time you probably have while we're waiting for this all to pass. We start today with how to influence people's first impression of you so that you come off looking more intelligent. Here are some scientifically proven strategies. No booze.

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People holding a drink in their hand automatically appear less intelligent. People are so conditioned to associate drinking with being drunk that they expect it whenever they see alcohol cues. So if you're drinking, you look dumber. Use your middle initial. It can make others see you as smarter, according to research from Ireland.

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In the study, people were more likely to choose participants with a middle initial to be their partners for an intellectual quiz game than people who had no middle initial. Don't use text speak in an email or on social media. Using the letter U instead of the word you or writing PPL instead of the word people.

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In a study, people who posted status updates with correct spelling and capitalization were judged as more intelligent and competent. Wear glasses.

Chapter 4: What techniques can enhance your listening skills?

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People who wear glasses are consistently rated as more intelligent than people who don't. Act interested. Resist the urge to zone out when someone's blathering on and on to you. People who appear engaged in a conversation and make solid eye contact and maintain an upright posture are rated as more intelligent. And use small words.

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People who try to impress with big words are perceived as less intelligent than people who just talk normal. And that is something you should know. How many times have you heard that it's important to be a good listener, to really hear what the other person is saying? Repeat it back to them even, to let them know that you heard their words.

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And while that's probably a good idea, you may want to take it a step further. And that step further is validation. Michael Sorensen knows a lot about this. Michael is a podcaster and coach, and he's author of the book, I Hear You, The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships. Hey, Michael. Thanks for having me.

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So explain the concept of validation, what it is, how it works, and why it's so powerful.

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260.412 - 281.205 Michael Sorensen

We talk a lot in society today about the importance of listening, right? Whether it's in your romantic relationships, in your professional relationships, what have you. And listening is important, but really at the end of the day, the really great listeners of the world are more than just that. They listen, they seek to understand the other person, and then they validate.

281.59 - 298.353 Michael Sorensen

And the big idea here is that that third point, validation, helping somebody feel heard and understood, is what we really all crave at the end of the day. It's more than just feeling like someone's hearing the words we're saying. We want to know that they're understanding the emotions that we're feeling, that they really get us.

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What's the thing that has to happen to become that kind of listener? Because I don't think people... People like to think that they listen, but I don't think necessarily that people listen the way you're talking about listening.

314.844 - 334.345 Michael Sorensen

Right. Well, one of the biggest issues that most of us fall into is that if somebody comes to us and they're complaining, right, or they're going through something of a difficult nature, we assume that they want our advice, right? We assume that they want help. And while that may be true in certain instances, nine times out of ten, that's not really what they want.

334.506 - 355.927 Michael Sorensen

Really what they want is for you to help them not feel crazy. And so validation, I always talk about, has two main points. So when someone's talking to you, most of the time what they want is validation. And what that means is they want to feel like you understand what they're going through. And that you don't blame them, you don't judge them for however they're feeling.

Chapter 5: What are the two main points of effective validation?

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I think anybody who's been on the receiving end of being validated knows that it feels good and helps facilitate any conversation. And yet we don't talk about validation as much as we talk about listening. But clearly, it's more than that. Michael Sorensen has been my guest. His podcast is called I Hear You. And so is his book, and there is a link to both of them in the show notes.

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Thanks, Michael. Thank you, Mike. And that wraps up this SYSK Trending Topic. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening to Something You Should Know.

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