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Chapter 1: What recent incident could impact Captain Stokes' future?
Oh my god, it's happened again.
Leopards never change their spots or let the boys have a beer after a win. Why always me or systematize and encourage culture of excessive alcohol consumption amongst blokes that can't handle their piss? You decide. Another nightclub incident involving a team that get it right on the pitch this week, but wrong offer. Does my drinking team have a cricket problem or a rugby problem?
Will the guy that lied about being involved in a nightclub incident in New Zealand lead the team after the actual captain was involved in a nightclub incident post-New Zealand? Is this the skeleton's fault? What does it all mean? Meanwhile, Ollie Robertson is back on a shit tip. Australia lose in Pakistan. The Women's World Cup starts this week. India confuse Ireland with Scotland.
And there's also a new left-arm spinner to terrorise foreigners for a decade. Finn Taylor is on the show from London to put everything into perspective. There's also Ask TGC. BBL merges. And it's only the first week of the UK summer, Pezza. What news to wake up to this morning. Indeed. I'm not that excited. I just can't believe it's happened again.
Yeah. Yeah, indeed, my brother. And we're going away with this story live. Yeah, with story developing. There's a dynamism around it. And it's come out quickly this time as well.
Yeah.
Usually there's a bit of a delay. Look, CEO Greenberg would call this talkability. He'd say this is great for the talkability of cricket, particularly during the winter. We're talking piss, tests. The Melbourne Stars are dead and avowed traditionalists are furious that they're dead.
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Chapter 2: How does alcohol culture affect cricket teams?
We've got World Cups. Surya Vanchi's dad is talking. Greg Chappell's fixing a format. Rod Tucker's explaining umpiring. A shout-out to Patreon, which we will speak about in a second. It's a very, very special week for TGC and the people that power this business.
Boyzits Lloyd, one of the contributors on Patreon, said, I think the BBL could announce it's dissolved and it wouldn't make it past what Heard had for dinner last night on the news. So there's still a way to go for cricket in Australia. But I want to raise one item above all of that.
a great looking 40 for a 40 years of age milestone birthday it was on monday uh and acknowledging it here on the show the king's birthday it was on the king's birthday indeed and charles that's right um yes well comments yeah well um you know people questioning yeah ben stokes at 35 having a nightclub incident i say he's got years in the bank
It's one thing you see these days when people are like, they look at the veteran cricketers and they're like, they're like 35 years of age. You shouldn't be doing this. You're like, oh yeah, shit. Grow up. Really? But happy 40th birthday, Ian Higgins. Thank you, mate. I appreciate that.
Thank you. On behalf of everybody. Yes. On behalf of the community. Yes. I'll be waiting for my letter from the king. I think that's probably more of a hundred thing. Anyway, look, TJC is a place where you can get everything you need throughout your summer.
Everything you need.
Whatever the summer means to you. Cricket It's Our Patreon live show tickets are available as well. Do you want to say anything about Cricket It's Our?
Yeah, I do. I want to shout out Cricket at Tower, who we proudly partner with for two reasons. One, Gideon and Pete, they have the bit between their teeth with the pen or the keyboard at the moment. A couple of cameos from Cam Ponsonby as well, the new host of Wisden Cricket Podcast. Great podcast, Cam's a great host as well. Myself. Jumps in with the odd piece here and there.
But if you're looking for biting coverage on Australian cricket's existential issues, you need a subscription to Cricket Etel, who we proudly partner with. And because we decided in our digital wisdom in 2026, what people want to do is actually read and read longer pieces. And if that is you, if you want that for your mind, you are going to be reading some smart people saying smart things.
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Chapter 3: What does Greg Chappell propose to fix T20 cricket?
What about dumb people recording dumb things? Well, that is where you're going to get Patreon. Now, it is the Hall of Fame this week. What the fuck does that mean? People are saying, and please do just hurry up and get to the Ben Stokes stuff, okay? That's what people are saying. I get it. But special week for TJC. We've been doing Patreon now for six years. Episodes 200 to 299 are now completed.
So we have compiled three of the best hours of the last 100. The first episode's a three-part series. The first episode dropped yesterday. The second episode will drop on Wednesday and the last one on Friday. It's a Hall of Fame week. It is the best of the last 100 hours. If you want to sign up, patreon.com forward slash great cricketer.
On top of that, you get the entire back catalogue of everything we've ever spoken about. So I guess there's around about 300-ish hours of content if you're bored and you need more cricket-related things in your life. If you want real cricket, different to real Bradman, of course, and we will be speaking to Finn later, but... It's the looser stuff. It's the darker stuff.
Chapter 4: How does the pitch condition influence match outcomes?
It's the real stuff in cricket, which I think we'll be talking about in Chelsea nightclubs in a second. But, and look... Are there cameo appearances? Are there unlikely voices?
Not for me to say. Yeah. Have unlikely voices turned up to support this thing? Because they realise that the great cricketer isn't algorithms or sponsors. What gives TJC its power is this community. This is the thing that helps... keep us authentic and keep us independent. And, yeah, if you hear voices on the Hall of Fame week, you know, which is a lovely dividend for the shareholder. It is.
It's a dividend. Then so be it.
I couldn't possibly say. So please do join the pay pigs at patreon.com forward slash grey cricketer. If you want to come and see TJC live and you're in Darwin for the first test against Bangladesh. Or go to Darwin because we're there. Well, that's also an option available to you. And maybe plan a holiday. Maybe take the kids. Not to the show, but it's 18 plus.
Darwin in the dry. Oh, yeah. Outdoor. Outdoor stage.
tgc 8 45 p.m night before the test the show's called sunrises darwin we've got a special guest that we're looking forward to announcing cross some t's dot some lowercase j's and we've also just been given 10 minutes of content um this morning uh it's wednesday wednesday august 12 as part of the ten minutes i mean the merger as well tickets are great cricketer.com if you want to join us uh wednesday august 12th part of the darwin festival
Live. Okay. This morning, there was a statement from the ECB and it read this. The ECB is currently investigating a breach of team protocols following the conclusion of the first men's test against New Zealand. Ben Stokes and Gus Atkinson were present at a nightclub in the early hours of Monday morning when an incident took place.
We're currently seeking further information and an announcement regarding the squad for the second test will be made in due course. The cricket regulator has been informed and we will provide a further update when possible. Developing story, of course.
And so by the time people perhaps even listen to this, things might've changed a little bit, but this is via Nick Holt and Will McPherson of The Telegraph. There was a Saracens Academy rugby player understood to have thrown a punch at Gus Atkinson, but connected with ECB security guards supervising the players.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of the BBL merger?
Literally, like Mark Nicholas, the MCC president, has come out to the press. Huge news. I can see it. He hasn't faced the press pagey style, which is a shame. Yeah, that's weak. Yeah, he's taken to the press in print form with his own pen, you know, mightier than the sword, et cetera, which I think is just an English version of what pagey did. That's still nice.
I have got this written down, but he has explained that ā Simply digging it up isn't the answer. That's not how it works. Before he goes into the X's and O's of steaming and whatnot. And it's great. All of this stuff is grist for the mill of what you need to understand about drop-in pitches. Right. You know? Simon Dool flagged this.
He said there was going to be an enormous announcement or a big announcement on the final day. And clearly that was about Stokes. But... Dooley had the inside word that they're going to do drop-ins now, and that's huge for English cricket who don't even have AFL to contend with. I presume this is an Eaton Harrow thing or something. England have actually smashed New Zealand in this game.
They've smashed them by 115 runs in a low-scoring game in the second shortest test in Lord's history. Ben Gardner from Wisden, It says, in terms of balls bowled, that was the shortest test since 1888 in which all 40 wickets fell. If you watch the game, there were pegs everywhere. There were images of stump marks destroyed on the ground. Pads were blown off. A million plays and misses.
The first one bounced to the keeper badly. The deck was very slow early, but then it was seeming with zip, whatever that means, but when you bat, It makes sense after the rain, it was up and down, which is the main problem. It was sideways. Uh, but that did offer players a good chance to look at the deck post dismissal. Stokes didn't miss out there. He never does. He never misses out.
Uh, he drinks at the trough when it comes to looking at the deck. And, uh, That means for players there's a good chance to write off any dismissal. You know what I mean? Particularly when Kane Williamson scores no runs, Joe Root scores no runs. I mean, you can just shrug your shoulders and go, well, I mean, what am I meant to do?
And then the bowlers like Ollie Robinson, Gus Atkinson, Nathan Smith, we don't worry about that. We just go like, fantastic. Fantastically played. Well done. Excellent stuff.
I think everyone wins. Well, speaking of Stokes' dismissal in the second dig, Simon Dool, who is just absolutely on one at the moment, Doolie, looking a million bucks as he always does.
As always, Dool.
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Chapter 6: How does the Women's World Cup impact Australian cricket?
But when Harry Brook, like, started running down the wicket and just started teeing off, you know, like, those 30s and 40s and 50s that can be scored quite quickly is ā It seems one of the only ways that modern day batsmen can score these runs because they don't trust that defense anymore because they play so much short form cricket. I'm not saying it's better or worse.
I'm just saying that that appears to be the reality. Okay. Sure. Their, their defenses and their, their knowledge of where the off stump is, is I'd imagine far worse than a generation and or two ago, but they can also, they've got way more scoring shots. These guys then, then like, you know, the callous Ponting Lara even, even had, and those guys were great players, obviously.
So I found it interesting in that innings when they were rolled for 138 chasing 250 that they stuck to the same game plan. Only Glenn Phillips scored 40 in that last inning quite quickly from that 50 balls, I think. And he looked proactive and then he seemed to get more bad balls because of that. I don't know.
It's a way that certainly England's played over recent times when they've wanted to put pressure on the bowls, even on difficult wickets. I suppose it's hard if you've got no history of playing that way. You always just back the way you want to play. So I understand that.
But when like international batters are missing the ball by a foot, maybe you are more likely to reach 250 if you are a little bit more inventive. I'm not sure. But it seems inevitable when they were six for 29 in the first innings, weren't they?
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Chapter 7: What are the challenges facing Australia's ODI squad?
Triple wicket made and Ollie Robinson doesn't help it.
It was too extreme. Like the deck was too extreme, but I welcomed a return to something that looked more English in terms of test cricket. If I may, if I may, we have had the last three or four years of the, the basketball flatties. Well, let's go quickly. We'll discombobulate, discombobulate you generate innings with some Stokes, weird field placements and we'll win more than we lose at home.
Fair enough. That's a way to play the game. But some overheads, too much sun before, steaming pitches, dig it up, don't, shots of groundsmen, ball nipping about, okay, it's too much. It was just a bit more English for me. It's what I understand. And that's what I like. And they're a guy that brings a guy like Ollie Robinson back into the game, I've got to say.
I mean, on him, it's an excellent comeback.
first game back as stokes has said hard work begins now etc etc uh we need to you know the the mark on ollie robinson was uh your third spell your fourth spell your fitness your attitude off the field he's not really tested in that department here but you do learn or remember through this game that uh when there's a little bit in the deck he exploits it as well as anybody and he has done here uh so good good for him uh
But, yeah, there was too much seem. The deck was ā everybody has acknowledged that deck was substandard. I mean, even Mark Nicholas has said it. It's no good. But I would always welcome a move back to just a little bit of nibble in England decks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, it's too far. Can I just read from Mark Nicholas' piece here? Yeah. He got it tattooed.
He said, some have suggested digging up the Lord's Square. It doesn't work quite like that. Just get the excavators in. The club has been exploring the replacement of existing pitches one by one with new pitches. It's generally accepted that the pitches, materials and methods across the land are old and need a rethink.
Questions around soil composition, grass varieties, climate patterns and the time required for new pitches to mature all deserve further examination. Modern science, deeper analysis, and a willingness to challenge long-held assumptions all play their part in that process.
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Chapter 8: What insights does Finn Taylor share about cultural differences in cricket?
I mean, just the science and the alchemy of a pitch, you know, just goes to show. And I think Mark even said here there's no answer. We've left more grass on the pitches. We've taken more off. Some have appeared similar and played differently. There have been occasions where a pitch has been green and offered little assistance. Others, when a pale-looking surface has produced significant movement.
So... So even the MCC is conceding they don't know what the fuck happens with pitches. So the next time you're at a ground and someone says it's going to play like this, they don't know. This is just confirmation nobody knows what's happening with pitches. They don't know, but you do. I can say you're correct. And when you do speak, speak economically, say as little as possible.
Don't look them in the eye. Don't look them in the eye. Smug oversimplification. The fewer words you can use, the better about how a deck will play and you will get your way. And that applies to most things in life.
I would also, if you can bring in the spinning decks in India and how those pitches are racist, bring that in.
Now let's talk about which decks are right and wrong, true and false, moral and immoral. And let's bookmark this part of the show. Yeah, that's right. Why the whites are right-leaning politically. No. There is a difference though, isn't there? Let me try and say. because I hate myself.
Can this be the thumbnail as well?
Lord's Excellent Wicked. There's a difference between decks that are designed in extremity to exploit the strengths of the home team versus decks that are just shit tips because they don't know how to put them together.
And they're different colours and stuff, like where the ball's going to land for Jadeja, for instance.
Yeah.
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