Chapter 1: What humorous anecdotes are shared about foot jobs?
daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio show the horaki breakfast podcast that's us good morning welcome along to the podcast any foot jobs this morning jerry no foot jobs no foot jobs and no more information on foot job friday you've been ghosted by those guys by one of them whose parents no it's a guy uh his parents got it on but the actual sock the foot the sock job yeah
It ain't ghost, man. The sock job, it was the guy who was the recipient of the sock job's birthday last week.
Oh, happy birthday to him.
I gave him a sock.
Yeah, I was going to say, how do you celebrate? I love coming in in the morning and checking the text machine. What do you got? Thanks for asking. I got 11 o'clock at night last night. Did you know you can tell a guy is a prolific masturbator by looking at his hands? When you do this, you will generally see a wedding ring. Look at my hands. Yeah, I got it. There we go. There you go.
It checks out, doesn't it? Cheeks out sometimes. For some reason, I expect it does. Oh, my gosh.
Doesn't work out. It works out. Yeah. Actually, it does work out.
I'm probably a few episodes away from the end of the Furies, Jerry.
Oh, are you? Yeah. Series two? Series two, yeah. Series two, okay. I think I'm only on series one still.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of Tyson Fury's new reality TV show?
There's no mention of a few people in that show. That one always, you catch that shit as the show goes on. You're like, hold on. Because there's seven kids and they talk to probably three, maybe two of them. Yeah. Which I suppose you're not going to ask a two-year-old for their thoughts. Adonis. Yeah, Adonis.
Adonis has got some thoughts. Yeah, Adonis has got someone.
Oh, fuck. Every time she yells out to Venezuela, it creases me on the couch. I just, you can see what they're thinking. Venezuela! Venezuela!
Venezuela!
Venezuela!
Put your school shoes on. Adonis!
Because she... It's good that she can remember their names. Oh. There's a lot of them. Do you reckon you could name all seven of them? Adonis. Venezuela. Venetia. Athena. Tutty. Yeah. That's five. Prince. Prince. And there's one more. There's a new one that hasn't been born yet.
Oh, yeah. Rico. Rico. Rico will be that. Spoiler. Sorry. Rico will be that baby's name. Rico Fury. And I love that just that shithole town that they live in. There's no amount of money that you could give that guy that would change his life at all. He's got all those flash cars in there. He doesn't drive them. No, he drives the Passat. He drives the Passat.
He drives the 99 Passat. VW Passat, yeah. Yeah. How much money has he got? He's made heaps.
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Chapter 3: How do school facilities impact student experiences?
That's $1,000. You've still got fucking $199,990,000. All right, I get it. Pile on Friday. No way, Ruda.
Pile on Friday. Yeah, it is pile on Friday. Look, you do the math, Ruda. Let's fuck around and find out Friday. You're a mathematician, bro.
Yeah, but I'm obviously not a massive drug addict, Jerry. Okay? He doesn't live in a big house. It's big, but it's not like... It's modest. Yeah, and it's on the highway too. And everyone in town knows where he lives. I can't get a read on how big that town is, but he's always lived there. It's a shithole.
He's making $6 million. If he invested the $200 million and it got him 3%.
Yeah, so that's just a term deposit sort of situation.
Yeah, which he wouldn't have done. No. He would be making more than that. But he's making $6 million a year in that interest.
Without all of their parents' fees and shit that he does.
So I'm going to divide that by $365 million. He's making $16,438 a day. $160 baggies.
No, $320, I think. That's a lot. $16,400 a day just in interest, right?
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of having insufficient toilets in schools?
He's certainly not going to study this going forward. That's such an own goal from you. So he's probably better off doing something else next year. He was helping you. That's a massive waste of his time. And I took that as a... You fucking dumb cunt. And I was like, oh, is it? Oh, well, I'm going to sit front row in your class every fucking day and I'm going to ace calculus. Did you? Yeah, I did.
It was such a waste of my own fucking time. Man, it was pointless because how hard I had to work versus everyone else in the class. Because he was right. Numbers don't come naturally to me.
Yeah. Jeremy Wells and Mania Stewart. Find them on Instagram at Horaki Breakfast.
I was lucky enough to give up maths. I thought that I was terrible at maths. What actually happened was I wasn't. I just switched off a bit in sixth form.
Yes, and you can't afford to do that at that level.
You've got to remember every bit. And maths is like you can't skip a bit.
No, because it's all building on itself. So then tomorrow, what you learned yesterday, you need to employ to solve this next one. And you were like, what the fuck's X again?
No one told me that. Nah. And I've told my kids that. And as a result, they've done a lot better in maths than what I did. But I actually was okay at it. But I thought I was terrible at it. But it wasn't. I was just not paying attention at certain bits. I'd switch off and on.
Yeah, yeah.
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Chapter 5: How do personal experiences shape views on education?
Yeah, I did school C. Yeah. Did pretty well. They all counted, did you? Yeah, pretty well, man. I think I was like the third highest boy in my school. Were you? Yeah.
And there were four of them. I had an interesting situation at Wanganui Collegiate. That was my sixth form. Because apart from that maths, which I came second to last. Yeah. I did reasonably well in my other subjects, and I got expelled. But at the end of the year, I also got a scholar's tie. But at the end of the year, they accumulated all of the marks. And if you got, I think, under...
12, I think it was, or 12 in your top five. Then you got a scholar's tie. So I got expelled, and then a scholar's tie arrived in the mail about a month later. Oh, nice. So it was a good effort for me. Never wore it. No. It was a real shitter, too, because the scholar's tie was a good tie. In my school, you had different ties for things. You had scholar's tie, prefect tie, color's tie.
Hog on them tie. The hog tie. No, there was no.
Everyone just knew. Everyone knew who did. It was a boarding school.
Yeah, right. Can I ask you a boarding school phenomenon? Phenomenon. Phenomenon.
did you guys ever do was dorm shits a thing at your hostel dorm shit yeah a dorm shit what was a dorm shit i think a dorm shit was exclusive not only to my school but my year but a dorm shit was because you know when you wake up in the morning at the at boarding school there's like a rush for the toilet i think there are only like two or three cubicles so everyone needs to take shit at the same time what's wrong with your school they had three cubicles in the whole school
No, in our dorm room. Oh, right. And... I thought St. Kevin's.
We're going to go down there.
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Chapter 6: What is the concept of 'dorm shits' in boarding schools?
It was a lung fish. It was gaping. It was practising gaping.
Wow. So was he revered or was he humiliated for that?
He was revered. No, he was revered for that. But I think his dirty secret is, and if I'm going to accuse him of performance enhancements, I think his dirty secret is because he left it, or it was left for so long that by the time we got back there, it had soaked up a bunch of water. So I think it was because you looked at it and you were like, how did that come out of an ass? Yeah.
How loose is your butthole that you were able to birth the log? Wow.
I mean, probably a good sign for his bowel health, to be honest. He's just got that one giant log. I think that's a good sign. I think you don't want to do lots of little rabbit droppings. It's not good, is it?
No. No, he was laying it down, man. Yeah, that's good.
What were they feeding you at St. Kevin's?
No, good feeds in terms of there was a lot of food. I don't really remember. All I remember is- Fish and chip Fridays? Or you at home by Friday? No, pies on- Pies on initially Friday, I think. I think that moved to Thursday. But pie day was great. And then when I became a day boy- Yeah. Gay boy. I- Delete that. I would buy them off the borders on a Friday.
Okay, so they got pies at lunchtime.
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Chapter 7: What are the humorous consequences of laxative pranks?
The brothers.
Jerry and Mania. Catch the radio show from 7am. It's top 10 weekdays. The Hodaki Breakfast.