Additional Player 1

Hey, sorry. Why don't we play some sorry? You know what I mean? Get the board out.

I guess we could play. You could tell us about that one time you had sex there.

Let me roll stats here real quick.

Unbelievable. You guys are fucking losers picking last names and shit. I mean, who cares? Just the one name is all I need.

Oh, I guess that's...

Son of a bitch. I knew it. Yeah. I knew it. Stay tuned. Thanks for watching it. Oh man.

Stay tuned for more. Stay tuned for more.

I like my coin, especially silver coin, because that's way better than gold coin. That's canonically true. With a lot more in our society.

I had to maintain her honor, so there was a bit of a shotgun arrangement, but I did it, because I'm a man of my word, and that's why I'm still in the Kingsguard, because it keeps me out of the cave, you know what I'm saying?

Do we know this dragon as the Princess of Wrath?

Look, fellas, I don't know if you know how strong I am. I'm so strong that I regularly fuck a Yeti.

Turn the mic towards your face, Mike. Oh yeah, I turned it away.

I pointed at your face.

What are the other ones? Sisterly? Anything that comes to mind. I've never played Animal Crossing, so I don't know.

Wait, what you're telling me is I'm never gonna see Yemily ever again?

Big bump I gave him. It lasts very long.

You think they got any illicit dragonborn drugs down here? Or is this it?

I will! I'm looking for silver dust as my drug of choice, but I'll take any illicit dragonborn drugs.

I close it. Does anybody want to do some drugs to tide us over for the next 30 quadrillion years?

I need to find a table.

What are you shaving?

I think you're right. Everything's fallen now. Maybe this is the best thing that we could... I mean, this is frankly lucky, fellas. I mean, I'd rather be in stasis until somebody wakes us up when this all blows over than being, you know, eaten alive and torn apart defending the emperor, you know what I mean?

Maybe one of us should go out there and let her know. I mean, because at this point, she probably doesn't know. We can't. We can't leave here.

You know, I never got a chance to tell my wife that I don't love her very much.

I'm stone-cold sober for the first time in decades, as far as my perception's concerned. I want to, like, just feel around for the box of silver dust, and hopefully if it's still where I left it, right next to me. You do find it. Oh, my God. And I'm just going to open it and just shove my nose in it.

And I'm going to leap out and do a front flip, and I'll land on my feet, and I will do with my gauntlets, get ready to go, and I will look around to see and make sure that I'm following the rest of them.

No!

And I leap in and smash down on the ground and try to punch as many as I can. Roll to attack. That's very funny.

I mean, does anybody have a watch? I mean, I look at my wrist to see if my watch is still on.

Well, fellas, I mean, what do you think? Do we just go back to sleep, or do we go up the hall and make sure no more rats get in?

I mean, we're sort of, like, cursed to fulfill our duties, so I think we just close our eyes and go back to sleep is how I'm guessing it works. I'm also a big whale guy.

On yellow or green? Green? Oh, shit.

Well, you better take off all your armor. You have to be as slender as you can. All right, all right.

I'm writing this in very legible font, in case whoever gets it. I have a pretty good one.

So you'll see on the gauntlet there's like a little sort of silver spoke that has like two spokes from it and like a rubber band hanging off of it. Hell yeah. And so I'll reach into my pack and pull out this like sharp silver like pebble almost and I'm going to slingshot it Usopp style up at the rope and try to shot it.

So what do we do next? I mean, if we're cursed to stay here and there really is a proximity thing and we can't leave... What do we do? I'm very indecisive, you see.

Oh, she told you other fairy tales, too?

I mean, here's the thing.

Maybe we should just go to sleep and I'll just forget all about it. Or maybe we'll get raided by a bunch of ogres and they're all like lady ogres and there's like tons of them and they're huge. Oh.

I guess given how much time's passed, I'm probably still married to Yemily. Well, what do they say? There's probably a different zip code down here.

Okay, I'm gonna go wait for the sexy yoga barbarian ladies.

Oh, hey, boomers.

And now we're just to wait forever? You think they got any, like, black tar heroin down here? I mean, that'll put us right out. Make an investigation check.

Three drops...

No, I think we're going to eventually become like spooky zombie skeleton warriors, which sounds kind of cool to me.

Is it as a greatest achievement as a Kingsguard?

I want some, like, Icebound lore I can, like, bake into this, you know what I mean?

I want to look around for the milk in the poppy jar that I gave my compatriots.

These rich folks love Appas, just give me a fucking second, I wanna go back to the drug drawer and see if I can find any, like, syringe-style, uh, for, like, Pulp Fiction-style plungers.

13.

I'm gonna run over to it and I'll, if there wasn't a syringe with the others, I will take a syringe, pour it in. I rip his shirt open.

All right, you asked me to! I'm going to aim for the mark. Go ahead and make a dexterity check to see how well you do.

19.

I'm not, no, no, no. We're going to find a way out of here, all right? Here's the thing. No, I'm indecisive. What am I talking about? I don't know what to do. Fuck! I'll make a decision for us.

It was delicious. I can go toe-to-toe with a yeti from a certain point of view.

Look, I'm not going to make a decision, but here's just an option that I'm throwing out here. Why don't we tear the tomb apart?

I'm very greedy.

Into the arty pile.

Oh my gods. What is it? I've discovered it.

Oh, I don't think it's very ballad-y enough.

Can you read these runes? I mean, maybe together we could study it and figure out how we get the fuck out of here. I take a look.

before we get on the ship?

We'll probably be resurrected. What do you think, fellas?

All right, you asked for it! I'm gonna sort the entire box, and I'm gonna start to glow silvery. And I'm gonna crouch down and my gauntlet is gonna grow. Grow and glow as it gets big.

Where an eagle flies. I would do all the drugs first, until there were no drugs left.

Oh no.

I would play various board games after that. Okay.