Andrew Champion

My friend has an Indian Siri. It's kind of sketch. I was taking him home one time and he was like, I got you on the address. And it was like, I was like, bro, I'm not listening to that. It's going to take me to an ATM machine and tell me to dump all the Bitcoin I have. And he was like, hey, man, stop hating on my Siri. That's my guy. That's my guy. Stop hating on him.

And I was like, dude, I'm not trying to get kidnapped at Microsoft headquarters. It's not happening.

And he was just like, man, stop hating on my guy. Stop hating on my guy. I was like, dude, I'm not hating on your guy. Stop calling him your guy, because he wasn't saying he was his guy. Replace your guy with some word that I can't say. Thank you, that was my time.

How long ago was that? About a month and a half ago.

This was my Christmas gift, so I was like, you know, might as well sign up.

Did she write a minute? She did not, but she has plenty of stories that embarrass me in front of all these people.

Pretty much nothing. I'm trying to move. You're trying to move here? It could be on the list, but it's kind of set up for Colorado Springs right now. What makes you want to move to Colorado Springs? I have a lot of good friends there, and I'm trying to get out of the house on my own.

Smoke.

Indoors, obviously. In a car.

Thank you, man.

What'd you say? I said a down payment. A down payment. How much did it cost you? It was a Christmas gift. Who was it a gift from? My parents, yeah.

Yeah.

One of them's a shark tracker, and then the other one... A shark tracker? Yeah.

Not really.

Then the other bracelet's from an ex-girlfriend.

That one was from my mom, but... Oops. We'll be right...

Um, officially like three months ago.

Do you hate vegetables? No, I actually love vegetables.

Yeah.