Angela Wright

One thing you said, Wes, that resonated to me was getting older and understanding church, right? And then, Lawrence, you said the same thing about being taught. I know this being a father now, right? My children are not mature enough to understand certain things, right? It's like you take a kid and you like, here's calculus, right? Pythagorean theorem, cosine, tangent.

They're going to be like, what is this? I felt like that in church. When they were trying to teach me the Bible, it sounded like Pythagorean theorem. And then because I couldn't understand it, I felt less than. I felt like something's wrong with my spirit. Like people getting up and running around and they crying and I'm just sitting there like, what is happening? I feel, you know what I'm saying?

But wasn't that conflicting in the church? Because you can't be a liar.

Didn't I just say that?

So can I ask, this is a question, and I hate asking this question to people because I don't like to challenge people's religion. No, let's go. My biggest issue with religion is someone saying you have to, you only go through heaven through like believing in Jesus Christ.

To me, that creates division amongst people, right? Because what if I don't live in a place where they don't present Jesus Christ to me? Say I grew up in a Muslim place where there's like, there's no Jesus. You can only, for example, say you lived in the Gaza. RIGHT NOW, AND THERE'S A HOLY WAR, AND YOU WERE NEVER PRESENT TO JESUS.

YOU TELLING ME THAT THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE MUSLIM ARE GOING TO HELL, THAT WAS A QUESTION I ALWAYS HAD TO MY PASTOR, AND NO ONE COULD EVER GIVE ME AN ANSWER.

LIKE, SOMEONE WHO GREW UP BUDDHIST WHO NEVER WAS INTRODUCED TO JESUS, YOU TELLING ME THAT THAT PERSON IS GOING TO GO TO HELL, THAT JUST NEVER SAT RIGHT WITH ME, AND IT JUST FEELS LIKE RELIGION BECAME SO DIVISIVE FOR SO MANY PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WAY YOU CAN CONTROL MASSES THAT IT JUST SCARED ME. YOU KNOW, NOT THAT I JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE. IT JUST SCARES ME, LIKE,

So if I got to only believe this one thing, what if I die? And then that one thing was wrong. You know what I'm saying?

First, the Bible says that until the gospel has reached the ends of the earth, he won't return.

Who's right and who's wrong? And the fact that you have to choose one to me is what's problematic with religion, not spirituality. Growing up, especially in Brooklyn, I lived between Hasidic Jews, I lived between Muslims. There was a church on every corner. Those three were like the big three. And I would ask questions.

And when I would come across people ask questions, and me asking too many questions would get people upset. And they all at certain times felt like I was trying to tear down their religion. And I'm like, I'm not trying to tear down. I'm trying to understand. But the more questions I asked, people thought I was just being divisive or playing devil's advocate.

And I was like, okay, so I'll seek it on my own. I went to college and studied. And when I went to college and studied religion, that's when I really started to gain my faith. Because like you both said,

when you know that you know you know and there were visions and things that i got in my mind when i was young and my parents would be like like who made you believe that and i said somebody gave me the vision and it wasn't y'all yeah so that there has to be a god because there's someone is giving me the things that i know in order to be successful in life and putting me in front of people for example i met a jewish dude he had his knot underneath his uh beard right it was he had a knot from trying to tie it he was just like hey can you get this for me

So I untied it for him, and all my friends was like, why you talking to this Hasidic Jewish dude? I'm like, he said he need help. Then he prayed. He said, let me say something. He prayed for me. And I said, thanks. I didn't know Jewish people. I was a young kid, fresh. I didn't know Jewish people prayed for black people. And I was about 15. I said, you know, I know y'all the chosen people.

And he said, who told you that? And I said, y'all don't call yourselves the chosen people? And he literally said to me, he said, you don't have to be born Jewish. to walk through the kingdom of God or the kingdom of heaven. And that was a Jewish guy said that to me. And I was like, that was strange because I've never heard that before. Ran into a Muslim guy on Atlantic Avenue. Never forget.

Once a guy asked for help. So I stopped, like, what's up? Give him some help. And he prayed for me. And I was just like, what is that? And he's like, you have a great spirit. Don't ever let anything else darken your spirit. And I'm like, here's a Muslim person that prayed for me. Here's a Jewish person that prayed for me.

And it was just like, who am I to condemn their religion because I don't believe it? So it was hard for me to believe one thing. So I've just been very receptive and open to different type of people and walks of life. And that's just been like my journey. Like God has been... Except everybody, bro.

Yeah, I took for two years. I studied. I studied. And to me, it was the same thing, like the traditions of the Muslim religion. There were certain things that about it that was kind of like, you know, like they were very salacious when it came to women. And I also got a vision from God that like God was just like, well, I'm not a man. Now this is another thing too.

I don't want to ever say something that people feel like God was like, I can't be a gender. I'm a creator of all things. This is what, this is the message I got from God. And this is also what I've heard. He was just like, women create everything. Women come from life. Like, like women are life. Like they are the vessel of life. Why would God be a man?

And I was like, there's no religion in the world, not Christianity, Muslim or Jewish religion that puts women on the pedestal they're supposed to. So for me, it's always been an issue for me to just kind of go in there and go to these churches and it's all men up there. But the people we go to for nourishment and nurture is women.

A lot of things were.

We all came through that. We all came through the legs of a woman.

You know, you can tell we all grew up in that.

We talk about living in abundance because God knows that we will provide for other people. One thing I've learned that has been clear to me over the past five years is that me opening my heart to understanding people relieved me from certain things. I grew up in Brooklyn in the 90s. Homophobia, misogyny, and having an elitist attitude was normal. You know what I'm saying?

Like, if you a dude and you gon' survive, you gotta think you better than everybody else. You gotta think women ain't ass. You know, I'm trying not to curse, Pastor, sorry.

Yeah, this is Brenda, yeah. Going on my journey to try to understand what God wanted for me, it really was just acceptance and accepting all things, right? Every walk of life should be accepted, even if you don't agree with it, because that's that person's walk. Just like you said, my cousin did eight years, right? Grew up Southern Baptist. When he came out, he was Muslim.

When he came out, he was Muslim because Muslim got him through doing that. You know what I'm saying? And you can't tell me that there wasn't something that they needed in that moment from the Muslim religion that got them through that. So for me, it's hard for me to cast anything against anybody. I don't care what you are, who you look like.

The first thing I'm going to do is just ask questions to get to know. But I realize when I ask questions, especially in the church community, because that's what we're talking about, that's when I get my most pushback.

Yeah, I have, but it's also a fear. You don't want to offend people because religion, people take that very personal. And I never want to knock someone off of their spiritual journey by asking a question that may get them thinking something. So for me, it's kind of like, let me not even ask this question openly. Only reason why I feel comfortable is because Crystal made it up.

You know, this is a place where we can be positive. But I don't have like... How many times we've all been in a room, and I've never talked to Wes about this because I don't ever want to hurt somebody. But these are questions I really be sitting back like, I wonder if other people got these questions.

No, I get what you're saying. My first thing is I'm always going to ask God. God for my entire life has provided me with answers. Like you said, there's been times in my life when I haven't had shit. And I was like, God, I just need a way. And then, wow, he won't give me the money. He's going to give me a way. And I got to walk through that door to get it done.

Like God has done that to me so many times that nobody can tell me God doesn't.

That's how it's been happening for me.

I would appreciate that. Because when you ask questions and people don't know and they shun you, or they just tell you some bullshit, you be like, man, why?

We learned that in college. Gene Wyclef took so many words out and changed so many things because he wanted it to be a certain way, which is also what scared me. When I was like, how many generations have tampered with this word? Yeah, you said, how many people did what he did?

You didn't know nothing about this. She's not lying. She called me about this too. This is not a made up story. She was like, D, I got an idea. It's called Just Start. Then she spoke to the prophet. And then she called me back and was like, D, you ain't going to never believe what this prophet just said.

So I grew up Southern Baptist. I went to church six days a week. Monday was like youth council. Tuesday was choir rehearsal. Wednesday was Bible study. Thursday was Boy Scouts. I'm dead serious. Friday was youth council again. Saturday was the junior layman. And Sunday I went to church. So I grew up always thinking that the church was everything. And my uncle was a deacon. My father's a deacon.

Why do you say that? Because Kirk Franklin did that last night. He stood up there and smiled and everybody started cheering. And he said, no, no, no, no, no, not me. Which to me, I was like, that was wild, powerful, and deliberate. And then the thing is, they started cheering louder because he was like, no, don't cheer. And I was like, dang, that was powerful.

Seeing that last night, he was like, don't give it to me.

Give it to him.

Grandfather's a deacon. My aunt's a pastor. So I was always a part of like the quote unquote clergy. But I just always felt like... When I asked questions, I got shunned. And it was always like, listen to what I say. If you ask questions, then you don't believe the way you're supposed to believe, so you're going to hell.

And that scared me because I was like, I don't want to go to hell, but I also just don't believe. So then it made me afraid of believing anything because I was kind of like, well, if I don't believe the way y'all believe, then I'm going to hell. So then I just don't believe, you know, so I'm...

After years of trying to ask questions and getting shunned, when I turned 18, I said, I'm going to college and I'm never going to church. And I haven't turned back.

That's crazy. That was 22 years ago. Okay, awesome.

Yeah, I've had one role where it was a rape scene. And I just refused to do it. I just was like, there's something about that. And they were like, well, as a thespian, I said, I get it. But I can use my tool for what I want to perpetuate. And the person that I was raped was not a woman of color. And I'm like, you expect me as a black man to do this? I'm not doing that. I'm just, I'm not doing it.

And it was a small short film. that was supposed to give me some opportunities to go. And I was like, I'm not doing that. My kids are going to have to watch that. And the thing is, the things you put out in the world, people see. And how people get introduced to you, sometimes they can never get that back. And I never wanted someone to see me in that position. And I didn't care if the story

Because the story was actually a really good story. But I said, I cannot play that role.

That's so good.

I watch my dad, bro. Like, my dad, you never met my pops. Oh, you did meet my pops. You see how he just be jobbing? I'll never forget this. My father came home working from Chase Manhattan Bank. Bro, I got laid off today. You told me I'm walking on to college. You said you had me the first semester. I got you, bro. God will provide. And walked away. I kid you not.

I think he had a three-month contract left, the last day of the contract. Scoop, you can tell this story because I'm not lying. The last day of the contract, he's there, you know, he's getting ready to leave. No one else is there. This is his last day. He's like, let me make sure everything is cool. While he's walking out, the guy says, hey, Troy, I'm glad I saw you.

I'm doing a contract over at Sundial. I'm wondering if you're interested. The next day they hired my father as a, what is it called? Not a contractor. When you help people build their business.

And had to get paid time and a half. So he got paid more money consulting than he was working at the job. And he was at that job for the next four years. And when I watched that, I'm like, my father, the time was coming down and he jollied every day going to work. And I'm like, you're not stressed? He said, no, I'm not.

You know what scared me though? And y'all can tell me if this scared you. I was afraid that if I don't have faith like that, I was going to hell. And I was like, whatever type of faith my father got, I want that. I don't know how to get it.

And that's what I'm spending the rest of my life trying to get, because the way you talk about God, the way you talk about God, I just I'm like, y'all have gone through things and I'm like, OK, maybe it hasn't been my time yet. But I will say listening to you speak, you speak, you speak as a woman of. great knowledge and wisdom, but also very genuine. You know what I'm saying? Very genuine.

You're not trying to accept it. Sister Brenda, Pastor Brenda.

I appreciate all of y'all, man.

Thank you for your questions.

Well, that's Chris. When Chris told me this, I was like, all right, well, I'm going to come here and ask because I knew she would protect me with people that's not going to look at me like, what is wrong with this guy? No, not at all. Thank you. It's okay, Zach. No, it's okay. Seriously, that's what I wanted.

Yeah, first and foremost, make sure you watch Sisters every Wednesday at 9 p.m. on BET. Make sure you stream Zatima every Thursday on BET+. Make sure you tune into Netflix November 6th, Meet Me Next Christmas, starring me and Christina Milian. Make sure you tune into Deadass Podcast every Wednesday on iHeartRadio, wherever you get your podcasts.

And in March, make sure you go check out Othello on Broadway. I'm a co-producer alongside Brian Moreland. So go check those things out.

No.

I think we got too radical with our message.

Thank you.

That's how I grew up. You had to speak a certain way, dress a certain way. I can't be myself.

Women couldn't wear pants. Oh, no. Yeah.

Absolutely.