Ashley Lemieux
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
We experienced a very unexpected contested adoption and we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
We experienced a very unexpected contested adoption and we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
We experienced a very unexpected contested adoption and we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
Hey, thank you so much for having me.
Hey, thank you so much for having me.
Hey, thank you so much for having me.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... to be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... to be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... to be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace. And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace. And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace. And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life
I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like, what do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on?
I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like, what do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on?
I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like, what do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on?
Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, okay. There's nothing sexy about talking about that, but it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, okay. There's nothing sexy about talking about that, but it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, okay. There's nothing sexy about talking about that, but it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids together. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids together. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids together. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... To be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... To be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... To be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. graduation, it was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. graduation, it was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. graduation, it was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my... most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace.
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my... most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace.
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my... most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace.
And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life, I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like,
And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life, I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like,
And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life, I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like,
What do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on? Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, there's nothing sexy about talking about that. But it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
What do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on? Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, there's nothing sexy about talking about that. But it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
What do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on? Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, there's nothing sexy about talking about that. But it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
I was. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
I was. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
I was. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is...
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is...
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is...
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. It was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. It was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. It was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions, but at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions, but at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions, but at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more. And my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more. And my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more. And my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day. And I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day. And I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day. And I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
I was speaking a lot. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
I was speaking a lot. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
I was speaking a lot. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on, and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions. But at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on, and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions. But at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on, and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions. But at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more and my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more and my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more and my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day and I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day and I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day and I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't want to start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing. And
And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't want to start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing. And
And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't want to start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing. And
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually... working.
I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually... working.
I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually... working.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward?
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward?
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward?
And so I just kept following that feeling.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
Absolutely. And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't wanna start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
Absolutely. And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't wanna start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
Absolutely. And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't wanna start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
And I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually is working.
And I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually is working.
And I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually is working.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence? and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward.
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence? and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward.
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence? and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward.
And I just started sobbing. Any composure I had left, it was gone. I wanted those own moments with this human that I loved so much that I knew I was never going to have again. And so I remember I got up from my spot and I started running towards this little apartment that we were staying at. And it was as if someone put a brick wall in front of me. And was like, stop.
And I just started sobbing. Any composure I had left, it was gone. I wanted those own moments with this human that I loved so much that I knew I was never going to have again. And so I remember I got up from my spot and I started running towards this little apartment that we were staying at. And it was as if someone put a brick wall in front of me. And was like, stop.
And I just started sobbing. Any composure I had left, it was gone. I wanted those own moments with this human that I loved so much that I knew I was never going to have again. And so I remember I got up from my spot and I started running towards this little apartment that we were staying at. And it was as if someone put a brick wall in front of me. And was like, stop.
You can't keep running like this. You can't. You have to face these feelings. And I probably look like a crazy American tourist, which I totally was. But in the middle of this square there, I threw up my arms. And I yelled, I am here. I am here. And I just started crying. And I just, that became this mantra for me that I still hold onto of, I don't want to run away anymore. I want to be here.
You can't keep running like this. You can't. You have to face these feelings. And I probably look like a crazy American tourist, which I totally was. But in the middle of this square there, I threw up my arms. And I yelled, I am here. I am here. And I just started crying. And I just, that became this mantra for me that I still hold onto of, I don't want to run away anymore. I want to be here.
You can't keep running like this. You can't. You have to face these feelings. And I probably look like a crazy American tourist, which I totally was. But in the middle of this square there, I threw up my arms. And I yelled, I am here. I am here. And I just started crying. And I just, that became this mantra for me that I still hold onto of, I don't want to run away anymore. I want to be here.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
I am here. And so now what does that look like? And how can I support myself to be able to get through these things so that I don't keep running away from this life that I've been given?
I am here. And so now what does that look like? And how can I support myself to be able to get through these things so that I don't keep running away from this life that I've been given?
I am here. And so now what does that look like? And how can I support myself to be able to get through these things so that I don't keep running away from this life that I've been given?
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is that they're very high achieving people. They want to achieve. And one of the ways that we can cope with grief is called a maladaptive coping mechanism. So there's two types of mechanisms that we can use to cope. Adaptive, which adaptive is something that is positive that actually helps your grief.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is that they're very high achieving people. They want to achieve. And one of the ways that we can cope with grief is called a maladaptive coping mechanism. So there's two types of mechanisms that we can use to cope. Adaptive, which adaptive is something that is positive that actually helps your grief.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is that they're very high achieving people. They want to achieve. And one of the ways that we can cope with grief is called a maladaptive coping mechanism. So there's two types of mechanisms that we can use to cope. Adaptive, which adaptive is something that is positive that actually helps your grief.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And the other is maladaptive, meaning it's not good for you, but we do it anyway because we don't know what else to do. One of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that a lot of us have and a lot of entrepreneurs have is work and working too much. And so I see a lot of entrepreneurs who throw themselves even deeper into work to avoid their feelings.
And the other is maladaptive, meaning it's not good for you, but we do it anyway because we don't know what else to do. One of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that a lot of us have and a lot of entrepreneurs have is work and working too much. And so I see a lot of entrepreneurs who throw themselves even deeper into work to avoid their feelings.
And the other is maladaptive, meaning it's not good for you, but we do it anyway because we don't know what else to do. One of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that a lot of us have and a lot of entrepreneurs have is work and working too much. And so I see a lot of entrepreneurs who throw themselves even deeper into work to avoid their feelings.
And they can become really successful from doing that. And it's something that the world praises and we look at as a huge success. While meanwhile, there can be these layers of emotions that are hurting them, that's driving this really unsustainable work. But that can make it really, really hard to get to this healing place.
And they can become really successful from doing that. And it's something that the world praises and we look at as a huge success. While meanwhile, there can be these layers of emotions that are hurting them, that's driving this really unsustainable work. But that can make it really, really hard to get to this healing place.
And they can become really successful from doing that. And it's something that the world praises and we look at as a huge success. While meanwhile, there can be these layers of emotions that are hurting them, that's driving this really unsustainable work. But that can make it really, really hard to get to this healing place.
Something else that's really interesting that we know is the difference between men and women, the way that we move through grief. So a lot of men, and obviously when I say this, right, I'm not saying every man and every woman. This is just an average across the board. There's going to be people who don't fit into these buckets, of course.
Something else that's really interesting that we know is the difference between men and women, the way that we move through grief. So a lot of men, and obviously when I say this, right, I'm not saying every man and every woman. This is just an average across the board. There's going to be people who don't fit into these buckets, of course.
Something else that's really interesting that we know is the difference between men and women, the way that we move through grief. So a lot of men, and obviously when I say this, right, I'm not saying every man and every woman. This is just an average across the board. There's going to be people who don't fit into these buckets, of course.
But what we know about men is that men often throw themselves into work. They talk less about how they are feeling and they want to spend more time in the action of staying busy. Whereas women... we want to talk about it. We want you to sit and listen and we want to talk about it because that's our way of processing, of retelling the story, trying to help ourselves understand what has happened.
But what we know about men is that men often throw themselves into work. They talk less about how they are feeling and they want to spend more time in the action of staying busy. Whereas women... we want to talk about it. We want you to sit and listen and we want to talk about it because that's our way of processing, of retelling the story, trying to help ourselves understand what has happened.
But what we know about men is that men often throw themselves into work. They talk less about how they are feeling and they want to spend more time in the action of staying busy. Whereas women... we want to talk about it. We want you to sit and listen and we want to talk about it because that's our way of processing, of retelling the story, trying to help ourselves understand what has happened.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And so then if you are in a relationship where both of you are grieving so differently from the other, we can see a lot of marital or partnership conflict because of that. So I don't know if... entrepreneurs, if there's a specific grief style for entrepreneurs, but men and women for sure.
And so then if you are in a relationship where both of you are grieving so differently from the other, we can see a lot of marital or partnership conflict because of that. So I don't know if... entrepreneurs, if there's a specific grief style for entrepreneurs, but men and women for sure.
And so then if you are in a relationship where both of you are grieving so differently from the other, we can see a lot of marital or partnership conflict because of that. So I don't know if... entrepreneurs, if there's a specific grief style for entrepreneurs, but men and women for sure.
But then for the group of entrepreneurs who we know just love the work and the achievements, I would base my best guess on what I know about grief on they are probably a that they're not facing what is actually going on in their life. It's a dangerous combination.
But then for the group of entrepreneurs who we know just love the work and the achievements, I would base my best guess on what I know about grief on they are probably a that they're not facing what is actually going on in their life. It's a dangerous combination.
But then for the group of entrepreneurs who we know just love the work and the achievements, I would base my best guess on what I know about grief on they are probably a that they're not facing what is actually going on in their life. It's a dangerous combination.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't know about your father and you opening up about that is so beautiful and so hard. And I think that where we are at now going into 2025, a lot of people aren't realizing what happens around the fifth year of grief. So if we go back to 2020,
I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't know about your father and you opening up about that is so beautiful and so hard. And I think that where we are at now going into 2025, a lot of people aren't realizing what happens around the fifth year of grief. So if we go back to 2020,
I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't know about your father and you opening up about that is so beautiful and so hard. And I think that where we are at now going into 2025, a lot of people aren't realizing what happens around the fifth year of grief. So if we go back to 2020,
we all had these moments where we're in a pandemic, but then we're all also experiencing these personal losses, the loss of your father, the loss of my baby, the loss of what other people have gone through, right? So then the past couple of years, we're like, I don't know how to cope and no one is teaching me how to cope. So I'm going to do what I think is gonna help me best.
we all had these moments where we're in a pandemic, but then we're all also experiencing these personal losses, the loss of your father, the loss of my baby, the loss of what other people have gone through, right? So then the past couple of years, we're like, I don't know how to cope and no one is teaching me how to cope. So I'm going to do what I think is gonna help me best.
we all had these moments where we're in a pandemic, but then we're all also experiencing these personal losses, the loss of your father, the loss of my baby, the loss of what other people have gone through, right? So then the past couple of years, we're like, I don't know how to cope and no one is teaching me how to cope. So I'm going to do what I think is gonna help me best.
And because of my personality, because of what I wanna build, I'm gonna throw myself into work. And then you're like, oh my gosh, this company I just started is doing well. It's growing. It's great.
And because of my personality, because of what I wanna build, I'm gonna throw myself into work. And then you're like, oh my gosh, this company I just started is doing well. It's growing. It's great.
And because of my personality, because of what I wanna build, I'm gonna throw myself into work. And then you're like, oh my gosh, this company I just started is doing well. It's growing. It's great.
And you can kind of run on that adrenaline high for a moment until you start reaching these achievements that once the novelty of it starts wearing off, you can find yourself in this place of, I accomplished what I wanted to. I thought that this was going to feel differently than it does.
And you can kind of run on that adrenaline high for a moment until you start reaching these achievements that once the novelty of it starts wearing off, you can find yourself in this place of, I accomplished what I wanted to. I thought that this was going to feel differently than it does.
And you can kind of run on that adrenaline high for a moment until you start reaching these achievements that once the novelty of it starts wearing off, you can find yourself in this place of, I accomplished what I wanted to. I thought that this was going to feel differently than it does.
And that is a very common feeling that a lot of entrepreneurs find themselves in is I won the award. I hit the financial goal. I have the growth of the company. I thought that I was going to feel differently than this. What is wrong? And what is wrong is, is that we have this grief that can't be pacified by these external validations in our lives that we think are going to pacify them.
And that is a very common feeling that a lot of entrepreneurs find themselves in is I won the award. I hit the financial goal. I have the growth of the company. I thought that I was going to feel differently than this. What is wrong? And what is wrong is, is that we have this grief that can't be pacified by these external validations in our lives that we think are going to pacify them.
And that is a very common feeling that a lot of entrepreneurs find themselves in is I won the award. I hit the financial goal. I have the growth of the company. I thought that I was going to feel differently than this. What is wrong? And what is wrong is, is that we have this grief that can't be pacified by these external validations in our lives that we think are going to pacify them.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And so now as we head into 2025, which is five years after this major traumatic event for most people in the world, year five is the year where you take a pause and you start really looking around and being like, where do I fit into life right now? And how do I want it to go moving forward?
And so now as we head into 2025, which is five years after this major traumatic event for most people in the world, year five is the year where you take a pause and you start really looking around and being like, where do I fit into life right now? And how do I want it to go moving forward?
And so now as we head into 2025, which is five years after this major traumatic event for most people in the world, year five is the year where you take a pause and you start really looking around and being like, where do I fit into life right now? And how do I want it to go moving forward?
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
It's one of the first years that you really begin to take a breath because there's a little more time and space between now and then. But as a result of that, a lot of emotions can start coming up as you realize that your life has continued to move on, but emotionally parts of you still feel like they are stuck in the past. And so, so many people right now are burnt out. They're burnt out on work.
It's one of the first years that you really begin to take a breath because there's a little more time and space between now and then. But as a result of that, a lot of emotions can start coming up as you realize that your life has continued to move on, but emotionally parts of you still feel like they are stuck in the past. And so, so many people right now are burnt out. They're burnt out on work.
It's one of the first years that you really begin to take a breath because there's a little more time and space between now and then. But as a result of that, a lot of emotions can start coming up as you realize that your life has continued to move on, but emotionally parts of you still feel like they are stuck in the past. And so, so many people right now are burnt out. They're burnt out on work.
They don't know what to do next. And it's because we never gave ourselves the opportunity to slow down and sit with our grief for as long as we needed to.
They don't know what to do next. And it's because we never gave ourselves the opportunity to slow down and sit with our grief for as long as we needed to.
They don't know what to do next. And it's because we never gave ourselves the opportunity to slow down and sit with our grief for as long as we needed to.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago.
Yeah, it's not sustainable. So then how do we create a sustainable way where we can build what we want and love it while also acknowledging what it is that we've been through? And what does that dance look like for my life? And what is it that I'm needing? And part of that, part of your gift of grief that probably came was your ability to grow this company to what it is now.
Yeah, it's not sustainable. So then how do we create a sustainable way where we can build what we want and love it while also acknowledging what it is that we've been through? And what does that dance look like for my life? And what is it that I'm needing? And part of that, part of your gift of grief that probably came was your ability to grow this company to what it is now.
Yeah, it's not sustainable. So then how do we create a sustainable way where we can build what we want and love it while also acknowledging what it is that we've been through? And what does that dance look like for my life? And what is it that I'm needing? And part of that, part of your gift of grief that probably came was your ability to grow this company to what it is now.
But now part of what might come next is, okay, I've built this. And so does that mean that there's a little bit more of a buffer for me to have some space and some resources to really make sure that I'm filled up inside so that my insides match all of my external space? accomplishments. And that's something that was really hard for me over the past couple of years.
But now part of what might come next is, okay, I've built this. And so does that mean that there's a little bit more of a buffer for me to have some space and some resources to really make sure that I'm filled up inside so that my insides match all of my external space? accomplishments. And that's something that was really hard for me over the past couple of years.
But now part of what might come next is, okay, I've built this. And so does that mean that there's a little bit more of a buffer for me to have some space and some resources to really make sure that I'm filled up inside so that my insides match all of my external space? accomplishments. And that's something that was really hard for me over the past couple of years.
I remember I would tell my therapist, I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I'm like, everyone should have a therapist. So I love talking about it to just help people know it is so normal to go to therapy. But something that I would often tell my therapist is my insides don't match my outsides. Like what is happening around me, what I have in my life is so beautiful.
I remember I would tell my therapist, I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I'm like, everyone should have a therapist. So I love talking about it to just help people know it is so normal to go to therapy. But something that I would often tell my therapist is my insides don't match my outsides. Like what is happening around me, what I have in my life is so beautiful.
I remember I would tell my therapist, I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I'm like, everyone should have a therapist. So I love talking about it to just help people know it is so normal to go to therapy. But something that I would often tell my therapist is my insides don't match my outsides. Like what is happening around me, what I have in my life is so beautiful.
But inside, I feel like there's this just chaotic exhaustion that never goes away. And it feels so out of alignment with everything that I see externally in my life. And I need those to start matching up with each other. And so my hope is that
But inside, I feel like there's this just chaotic exhaustion that never goes away. And it feels so out of alignment with everything that I see externally in my life. And I need those to start matching up with each other. And so my hope is that
But inside, I feel like there's this just chaotic exhaustion that never goes away. And it feels so out of alignment with everything that I see externally in my life. And I need those to start matching up with each other. And so my hope is that
Going into 2025, a lot of entrepreneurs are going to kind of hit this pause button where we can all get a little bit more in alignment so that our insides match our outsides. But when that happens, moving forward, we are able to serve and grow even exponentially from what we've gotten to to this point because we're going to have the sustainability, the internal resources to be able to do so.
Going into 2025, a lot of entrepreneurs are going to kind of hit this pause button where we can all get a little bit more in alignment so that our insides match our outsides. But when that happens, moving forward, we are able to serve and grow even exponentially from what we've gotten to to this point because we're going to have the sustainability, the internal resources to be able to do so.
Going into 2025, a lot of entrepreneurs are going to kind of hit this pause button where we can all get a little bit more in alignment so that our insides match our outsides. But when that happens, moving forward, we are able to serve and grow even exponentially from what we've gotten to to this point because we're going to have the sustainability, the internal resources to be able to do so.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring. So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough,
So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring. So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough,
So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring. So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough,
Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human.
Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human.
Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human.
That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe. But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world.
That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe. But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world.
That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe. But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world.
So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape. So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape. So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape. So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
talking about our current thoughts. So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring.
talking about our current thoughts. So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring.
talking about our current thoughts. So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough, Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us.
So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough, Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us.
So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough, Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us.
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into this cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just gonna be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head. And once we have all of those down,
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into this cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just gonna be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head. And once we have all of those down,
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into this cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just gonna be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head. And once we have all of those down,
it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go. But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of
it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go. But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of
it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go. But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of
What I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
What I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
What I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human. That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe.
Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human. That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe.
Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human. That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world. So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape.
But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world. So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape.
But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world. So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape.
So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into the cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just going to be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head.
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into the cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just going to be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head.
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into the cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just going to be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And once we have all of those down, what I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
And once we have all of those down, what I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
And once we have all of those down, what I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize. that I'm so hard on myself.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize. that I'm so hard on myself.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize. that I'm so hard on myself.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough. for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough. for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough. for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize that I'm so hard on myself.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize that I'm so hard on myself.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize that I'm so hard on myself.
okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run? So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months.
okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run? So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months.
okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run? So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us in the society. Anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings. So something that I always think about with anger is
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us in the society. Anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings. So something that I always think about with anger is
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us in the society. Anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings. So something that I always think about with anger is
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
What do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much. I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being.
What do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much. I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being.
What do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much. I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough and for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough and for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough and for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So if I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off. We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of.
Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So if I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off. We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of.
Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So if I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off. We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger direction. to actually have action behind it.
So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger direction. to actually have action behind it.
So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger direction. to actually have action behind it.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago. I'm so sorry to hear that.
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us. In the society, anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings.
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us. In the society, anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings.
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us. In the society, anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point, that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point, that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point, that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
So something that I always think about with anger is, what do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much.
So something that I always think about with anger is, what do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much.
So something that I always think about with anger is, what do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. But all trauma... has grief attached to it.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. But all trauma... has grief attached to it.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. But all trauma... has grief attached to it.
I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being. Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So If I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off.
I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being. Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So If I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off.
I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being. Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So If I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off. And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions, What is it that we want from our lives now?
hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off. And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions, What is it that we want from our lives now?
hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off. And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions, What is it that we want from our lives now?
We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of. So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger to actually have action behind it.
We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of. So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger to actually have action behind it.
We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of. So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger to actually have action behind it.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say,
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say,
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say,
You need the help of a professional because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma... So often we feel shame and we don't get help.
You need the help of a professional because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma... So often we feel shame and we don't get help.
You need the help of a professional because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma... So often we feel shame and we don't get help.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
But we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains. So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own.
But we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains. So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own.
But we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains. So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. but all trauma has grief attached to it. Does that make sense? Kind of.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. but all trauma has grief attached to it. Does that make sense? Kind of.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. but all trauma has grief attached to it. Does that make sense? Kind of.
And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life. I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. And why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA.
And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life. I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. And why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA.
And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life. I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. And why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me or how do I heal? It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me or how do I heal? It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me or how do I heal? It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say, you need the help of a professional.
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say, you need the help of a professional.
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say, you need the help of a professional.
Because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma, So often we feel shame and we don't get help, but we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains.
Because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma, So often we feel shame and we don't get help, but we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains.
Because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma, So often we feel shame and we don't get help, but we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains.
I don't know about you. But for me, in entrepreneurship, fear is can show up in so many different ways, but I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I don't know about you. But for me, in entrepreneurship, fear is can show up in so many different ways, but I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I don't know about you. But for me, in entrepreneurship, fear is can show up in so many different ways, but I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own. And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life.
So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own. And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life.
So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own. And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life.
One of the ways, though, that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
One of the ways, though, that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
One of the ways, though, that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. and why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA. And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me, or how do I heal?
I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. and why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA. And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me, or how do I heal?
I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. and why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA. And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me, or how do I heal?
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
And how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
And how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
And how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
I don't know about you, but for me in entrepreneurship, fear can show up in so many different ways. But I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I don't know about you, but for me in entrepreneurship, fear can show up in so many different ways. But I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I don't know about you, but for me in entrepreneurship, fear can show up in so many different ways. But I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
One of the ways though that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
One of the ways though that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
One of the ways though that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year... Because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel that feeling.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year... Because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel that feeling.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year... Because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel that feeling.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather not.
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather not.
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather not.
be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up.
be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up.
be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
And my husband and I were like, if there's any shot of us making it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go.
And my husband and I were like, if there's any shot of us making it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go.
And my husband and I were like, if there's any shot of us making it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go.
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is who can I serve today? Sometimes it's going to be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is who can I serve today? Sometimes it's going to be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is who can I serve today? Sometimes it's going to be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
And they stay stuck. And then the next year, because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel stuck. that feeling.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year, because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel stuck. that feeling.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year, because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel stuck. that feeling.
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up. Totally.
to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up. Totally.
to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up. Totally.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is, who can I serve today? Sometimes it's gonna be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is, who can I serve today? Sometimes it's gonna be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is, who can I serve today? Sometimes it's gonna be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it i talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it i talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it i talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of a okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run?
But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of a okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run?
But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of a okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run?
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it I talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it I talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it I talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. And Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe your higher power to be. And...
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. And Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe your higher power to be. And...
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. And Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe your higher power to be. And...
when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
we feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time, but now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
we feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time, but now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
we feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time, but now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life.
It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life.
It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months. Hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off.
So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months. Hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off.
So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months. Hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off.
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe, your higher power. to be.
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe, your higher power. to be.
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe, your higher power. to be.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com.
And when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
And when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
And when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for having me.
We feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time. But now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
We feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time. But now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
We feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time. But now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And it's so simple. It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life. Yeah, I love that.
And it's so simple. It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life. Yeah, I love that.
And it's so simple. It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life. Yeah, I love that.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com. Amazing.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com. Amazing.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com. Amazing.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for having me.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions. What is it that we want from our lives now and how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions. What is it that we want from our lives now and how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions. What is it that we want from our lives now and how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
Yeah, we waited. I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
Yeah, we waited. I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
Yeah, we waited. I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running well. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running well. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running well. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment, was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment, was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment, was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding and so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding and so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding and so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
Yeah. We waited, I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos. to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
Yeah. We waited, I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos. to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
Yeah. We waited, I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos. to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctor's appointments when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctor's appointments when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctor's appointments when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the Immediately, they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the Immediately, they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the Immediately, they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctors, appointments, when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctors, appointments, when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctors, appointments, when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the hospital. And immediately they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the hospital. And immediately they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the hospital. And immediately they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right? Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again.
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right? Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again.
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right? Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? Because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? Because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? Because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And... it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right?
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And... it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right?
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And... it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right?
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again. And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again. And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again. And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
We experienced a very unexpected contested adoption and we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
We experienced a very unexpected contested adoption and we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And we ended up losing the kids. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. Until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
So I get so many stories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like, I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me. And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
Hey, thank you so much for having me.
Hey, thank you so much for having me.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... to be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... to be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace. And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace. And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life
I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like, what do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on?
I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like, what do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on?
Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, okay. There's nothing sexy about talking about that, but it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, okay. There's nothing sexy about talking about that, but it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids together. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids together. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... To be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
I love this question because part of my journey is started even before I stepped into helping people more in their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years now before Instagram even existed. And I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted... To be a writer, I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. graduation, it was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. graduation, it was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my... most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace.
So I was doing that even before these life experiences. But after these life experiences, you know, I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits for my... most recent book, I Am Here, when we lost our son, Jace.
And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life, I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like,
And after that, I really felt like my next steps in finding clarity for my life, I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mental health and wellness with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the least sexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like,
What do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on? Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, there's nothing sexy about talking about that. But it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
What do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on? Well, I teach on grief and bereavement. And everyone's like, there's nothing sexy about talking about that. But it is the one thing that every single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life. And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
I was. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
I was. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
And I then wanted the paper, the education behind it so that I could take everything I had already learned and really just propel myself forward. So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school. to get my master's degree. And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting this intensive program, we got pregnant again.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is...
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is...
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. It was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old. I was pumping. It was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and then to be able to help other people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions, but at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions, but at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more. And my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more. And my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day. And I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day. And I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
I was speaking a lot. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
I was speaking a lot. Something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind. You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows, holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like, this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on, and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions. But at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And it's really hard to be founder, CEO of a product-based company. that was on the trajectory that we were on, and then also be able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficult decisions. But at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more and my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So whether that was through jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had to make a pivot. So I started writing more and my first step was getting a book agent, which, and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things happen to help facilitate that step.
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day and I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inbox the next day and I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking me if I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the next step, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of...
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
Closing the chapter on my jewelry business, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark and we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back, I can't imagine not making that decision.
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids. There's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was alive.
And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't want to start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing. And
And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't want to start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing. And
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing, but for that moment it was. Because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this, but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraid of hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or... What will I do?
I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually... working.
I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually... working.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And honestly, sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually want because you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like for me. And like I said, there was grief, there was sadness to it. And I also started to feel excited about something again for the first time in a long time.
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward?
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward?
And so I just kept following that feeling.
And so I just kept following that feeling.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
Absolutely. And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't wanna start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
Absolutely. And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over. I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't wanna start over. But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
And I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually is working.
And I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay in the wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on really what could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us, but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actually is working.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence? and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward.
And so that's something now I actually help women in their own clarity maps in high level entrepreneurs, because this is one of the things I love so much is how do we help you pivot when you are in this season of having no idea what to do next? How do you find that clarity and the confidence? and the strategy to support it so that you can move forward.
And I just started sobbing. Any composure I had left, it was gone. I wanted those own moments with this human that I loved so much that I knew I was never going to have again. And so I remember I got up from my spot and I started running towards this little apartment that we were staying at. And it was as if someone put a brick wall in front of me. And was like, stop.
And I just started sobbing. Any composure I had left, it was gone. I wanted those own moments with this human that I loved so much that I knew I was never going to have again. And so I remember I got up from my spot and I started running towards this little apartment that we were staying at. And it was as if someone put a brick wall in front of me. And was like, stop.
You can't keep running like this. You can't. You have to face these feelings. And I probably look like a crazy American tourist, which I totally was. But in the middle of this square there, I threw up my arms. And I yelled, I am here. I am here. And I just started crying. And I just, that became this mantra for me that I still hold onto of, I don't want to run away anymore. I want to be here.
You can't keep running like this. You can't. You have to face these feelings. And I probably look like a crazy American tourist, which I totally was. But in the middle of this square there, I threw up my arms. And I yelled, I am here. I am here. And I just started crying. And I just, that became this mantra for me that I still hold onto of, I don't want to run away anymore. I want to be here.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
They're meaningful to me because for so long, I didn't want to be here. And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too much or being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain that is what I latched onto.
I am here. And so now what does that look like? And how can I support myself to be able to get through these things so that I don't keep running away from this life that I've been given?
I am here. And so now what does that look like? And how can I support myself to be able to get through these things so that I don't keep running away from this life that I've been given?
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runaway escapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan and next to me sat a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter who we had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and the daughter over this lost tooth.
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is that they're very high achieving people. They want to achieve. And one of the ways that we can cope with grief is called a maladaptive coping mechanism. So there's two types of mechanisms that we can use to cope. Adaptive, which adaptive is something that is positive that actually helps your grief.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is that they're very high achieving people. They want to achieve. And one of the ways that we can cope with grief is called a maladaptive coping mechanism. So there's two types of mechanisms that we can use to cope. Adaptive, which adaptive is something that is positive that actually helps your grief.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And the other is maladaptive, meaning it's not good for you, but we do it anyway because we don't know what else to do. One of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that a lot of us have and a lot of entrepreneurs have is work and working too much. And so I see a lot of entrepreneurs who throw themselves even deeper into work to avoid their feelings.
And the other is maladaptive, meaning it's not good for you, but we do it anyway because we don't know what else to do. One of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that a lot of us have and a lot of entrepreneurs have is work and working too much. And so I see a lot of entrepreneurs who throw themselves even deeper into work to avoid their feelings.
And they can become really successful from doing that. And it's something that the world praises and we look at as a huge success. While meanwhile, there can be these layers of emotions that are hurting them, that's driving this really unsustainable work. But that can make it really, really hard to get to this healing place.
And they can become really successful from doing that. And it's something that the world praises and we look at as a huge success. While meanwhile, there can be these layers of emotions that are hurting them, that's driving this really unsustainable work. But that can make it really, really hard to get to this healing place.
Something else that's really interesting that we know is the difference between men and women, the way that we move through grief. So a lot of men, and obviously when I say this, right, I'm not saying every man and every woman. This is just an average across the board. There's going to be people who don't fit into these buckets, of course.
Something else that's really interesting that we know is the difference between men and women, the way that we move through grief. So a lot of men, and obviously when I say this, right, I'm not saying every man and every woman. This is just an average across the board. There's going to be people who don't fit into these buckets, of course.
But what we know about men is that men often throw themselves into work. They talk less about how they are feeling and they want to spend more time in the action of staying busy. Whereas women... we want to talk about it. We want you to sit and listen and we want to talk about it because that's our way of processing, of retelling the story, trying to help ourselves understand what has happened.
But what we know about men is that men often throw themselves into work. They talk less about how they are feeling and they want to spend more time in the action of staying busy. Whereas women... we want to talk about it. We want you to sit and listen and we want to talk about it because that's our way of processing, of retelling the story, trying to help ourselves understand what has happened.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And so then if you are in a relationship where both of you are grieving so differently from the other, we can see a lot of marital or partnership conflict because of that. So I don't know if... entrepreneurs, if there's a specific grief style for entrepreneurs, but men and women for sure.
And so then if you are in a relationship where both of you are grieving so differently from the other, we can see a lot of marital or partnership conflict because of that. So I don't know if... entrepreneurs, if there's a specific grief style for entrepreneurs, but men and women for sure.
But then for the group of entrepreneurs who we know just love the work and the achievements, I would base my best guess on what I know about grief on they are probably a that they're not facing what is actually going on in their life. It's a dangerous combination.
But then for the group of entrepreneurs who we know just love the work and the achievements, I would base my best guess on what I know about grief on they are probably a that they're not facing what is actually going on in their life. It's a dangerous combination.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't know about your father and you opening up about that is so beautiful and so hard. And I think that where we are at now going into 2025, a lot of people aren't realizing what happens around the fifth year of grief. So if we go back to 2020,
I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't know about your father and you opening up about that is so beautiful and so hard. And I think that where we are at now going into 2025, a lot of people aren't realizing what happens around the fifth year of grief. So if we go back to 2020,
we all had these moments where we're in a pandemic, but then we're all also experiencing these personal losses, the loss of your father, the loss of my baby, the loss of what other people have gone through, right? So then the past couple of years, we're like, I don't know how to cope and no one is teaching me how to cope. So I'm going to do what I think is gonna help me best.
we all had these moments where we're in a pandemic, but then we're all also experiencing these personal losses, the loss of your father, the loss of my baby, the loss of what other people have gone through, right? So then the past couple of years, we're like, I don't know how to cope and no one is teaching me how to cope. So I'm going to do what I think is gonna help me best.
And because of my personality, because of what I wanna build, I'm gonna throw myself into work. And then you're like, oh my gosh, this company I just started is doing well. It's growing. It's great.
And because of my personality, because of what I wanna build, I'm gonna throw myself into work. And then you're like, oh my gosh, this company I just started is doing well. It's growing. It's great.
And you can kind of run on that adrenaline high for a moment until you start reaching these achievements that once the novelty of it starts wearing off, you can find yourself in this place of, I accomplished what I wanted to. I thought that this was going to feel differently than it does.
And you can kind of run on that adrenaline high for a moment until you start reaching these achievements that once the novelty of it starts wearing off, you can find yourself in this place of, I accomplished what I wanted to. I thought that this was going to feel differently than it does.
And that is a very common feeling that a lot of entrepreneurs find themselves in is I won the award. I hit the financial goal. I have the growth of the company. I thought that I was going to feel differently than this. What is wrong? And what is wrong is, is that we have this grief that can't be pacified by these external validations in our lives that we think are going to pacify them.
And that is a very common feeling that a lot of entrepreneurs find themselves in is I won the award. I hit the financial goal. I have the growth of the company. I thought that I was going to feel differently than this. What is wrong? And what is wrong is, is that we have this grief that can't be pacified by these external validations in our lives that we think are going to pacify them.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And so now as we head into 2025, which is five years after this major traumatic event for most people in the world, year five is the year where you take a pause and you start really looking around and being like, where do I fit into life right now? And how do I want it to go moving forward?
And so now as we head into 2025, which is five years after this major traumatic event for most people in the world, year five is the year where you take a pause and you start really looking around and being like, where do I fit into life right now? And how do I want it to go moving forward?
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
Yeah, so in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also. We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time. And overnight, we became permanent guardians of two kids. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word.
It's one of the first years that you really begin to take a breath because there's a little more time and space between now and then. But as a result of that, a lot of emotions can start coming up as you realize that your life has continued to move on, but emotionally parts of you still feel like they are stuck in the past. And so, so many people right now are burnt out. They're burnt out on work.
It's one of the first years that you really begin to take a breath because there's a little more time and space between now and then. But as a result of that, a lot of emotions can start coming up as you realize that your life has continued to move on, but emotionally parts of you still feel like they are stuck in the past. And so, so many people right now are burnt out. They're burnt out on work.
They don't know what to do next. And it's because we never gave ourselves the opportunity to slow down and sit with our grief for as long as we needed to.
They don't know what to do next. And it's because we never gave ourselves the opportunity to slow down and sit with our grief for as long as we needed to.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And that question was, so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago.
Yeah, it's not sustainable. So then how do we create a sustainable way where we can build what we want and love it while also acknowledging what it is that we've been through? And what does that dance look like for my life? And what is it that I'm needing? And part of that, part of your gift of grief that probably came was your ability to grow this company to what it is now.
Yeah, it's not sustainable. So then how do we create a sustainable way where we can build what we want and love it while also acknowledging what it is that we've been through? And what does that dance look like for my life? And what is it that I'm needing? And part of that, part of your gift of grief that probably came was your ability to grow this company to what it is now.
But now part of what might come next is, okay, I've built this. And so does that mean that there's a little bit more of a buffer for me to have some space and some resources to really make sure that I'm filled up inside so that my insides match all of my external space? accomplishments. And that's something that was really hard for me over the past couple of years.
But now part of what might come next is, okay, I've built this. And so does that mean that there's a little bit more of a buffer for me to have some space and some resources to really make sure that I'm filled up inside so that my insides match all of my external space? accomplishments. And that's something that was really hard for me over the past couple of years.
I remember I would tell my therapist, I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I'm like, everyone should have a therapist. So I love talking about it to just help people know it is so normal to go to therapy. But something that I would often tell my therapist is my insides don't match my outsides. Like what is happening around me, what I have in my life is so beautiful.
I remember I would tell my therapist, I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I'm like, everyone should have a therapist. So I love talking about it to just help people know it is so normal to go to therapy. But something that I would often tell my therapist is my insides don't match my outsides. Like what is happening around me, what I have in my life is so beautiful.
But inside, I feel like there's this just chaotic exhaustion that never goes away. And it feels so out of alignment with everything that I see externally in my life. And I need those to start matching up with each other. And so my hope is that
But inside, I feel like there's this just chaotic exhaustion that never goes away. And it feels so out of alignment with everything that I see externally in my life. And I need those to start matching up with each other. And so my hope is that
Going into 2025, a lot of entrepreneurs are going to kind of hit this pause button where we can all get a little bit more in alignment so that our insides match our outsides. But when that happens, moving forward, we are able to serve and grow even exponentially from what we've gotten to to this point because we're going to have the sustainability, the internal resources to be able to do so.
Going into 2025, a lot of entrepreneurs are going to kind of hit this pause button where we can all get a little bit more in alignment so that our insides match our outsides. But when that happens, moving forward, we are able to serve and grow even exponentially from what we've gotten to to this point because we're going to have the sustainability, the internal resources to be able to do so.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
And everything that we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would be together forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a very unexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it all out. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen. And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work and it happened fast. I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.
So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring. So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough,
So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring. So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough,
Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human.
Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human.
That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe. But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world.
That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe. But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world.
So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape. So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape. So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
talking about our current thoughts. So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring.
talking about our current thoughts. So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day. And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative. And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough, Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us.
So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creating this belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough, Or I'm never going to get out of this situation. Or man, I make stupid decisions. Or I don't like how I look in the mirror. Whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the world around us.
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into this cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just gonna be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head. And once we have all of those down,
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into this cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just gonna be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head. And once we have all of those down,
it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go. But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of
it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go. But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of
What I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
What I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human. That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe.
Now, of course, it is impossible to live in an internal world where we don't have negative thoughts. We're human. That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we try to figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world. So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape.
But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we can create different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world. So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave. How do I get out of here? I want to escape. I want to escape.
So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
So then my belief had to become I'm here now. I'm here right now. I'm safe to be here. That was then. This is now. And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
I love this. One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it's an hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing. But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes app on your phone or have just a little journal with you. And anytime you notice that you have a negative thought come into your head, I just want you to write it down.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into the cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just going to be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head.
And I don't want you to have any judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into the cycle of, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that, or what's wrong with me? No, we're just going to be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And that was almost eight years ago now. And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back from, or if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.
And once we have all of those down, what I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
And once we have all of those down, what I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot of times thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little. Things we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the origin of the thought doesn't even come from us.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize. that I'm so hard on myself.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize. that I'm so hard on myself.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
So if you're able to sit with it and really be able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinking it, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you. So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I would like to believe instead. Okay.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead. And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and being able to write down what we would like to believe instead.
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough, being able to call it out and okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not good enough. And I acknowledge that.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough. for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough. for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z. And that helps us create a pattern where we can help ourselves get out of this routine of having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and call them out.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so that that becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does. But after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even know that you have.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize that I'm so hard on myself.
Like you can reach the end of the day. Sometimes a lot of my clients be like, I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feel so lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing down everything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize that I'm so hard on myself.
okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run? So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months.
okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run? So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really good place to start.
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us in the society. Anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings. So something that I always think about with anger is
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us in the society. Anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings. So something that I always think about with anger is
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
One that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enough or I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did this come from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me? Is this something I picked up on from someone else?
What do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much. I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being.
What do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much. I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough and for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
And then being able to answer the question, well, what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not good enough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the ways that I like to reframe I'm not good enough is I am enough and for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.
Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So if I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off. We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of.
Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So if I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off. We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again, being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working. That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.
So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger direction. to actually have action behind it.
So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger direction. to actually have action behind it.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead, but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this 10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is. It signals to our brain, hey, this thing is working. This is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommend writing things down.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving, because anger is easier to feel than sadness.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of, but they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago. I'm so sorry to hear that.
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us. In the society, anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings.
A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven't been taught or culturally some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or men versus women with gender and what's expected of us. In the society, anger can be something that masks a lot of other feelings.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point, that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point, that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
So something that I always think about with anger is, what do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much.
So something that I always think about with anger is, what do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now because I feel like I've lost control of it? So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love. I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. But all trauma... has grief attached to it.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. But all trauma... has grief attached to it.
I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being. Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So If I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off.
I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being. Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love. So If I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off. And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions, What is it that we want from our lives now?
hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off. And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions, What is it that we want from our lives now?
We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of. So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger to actually have action behind it.
We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of. So then how can we take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be a part of that cause? Or how can you use your voice to help them? So helping do that can help shift our anger to actually have action behind it.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over. You can't. You have so much knowledge now, and so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say,
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say,
You need the help of a professional because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma... So often we feel shame and we don't get help.
You need the help of a professional because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma... So often we feel shame and we don't get help.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
Yeah. And sometimes though, healing requires you to get pissed, right? There are people who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have every reason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.
But we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains. So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own.
But we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains. So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. but all trauma has grief attached to it. Does that make sense? Kind of.
I want to first explain the difference between grief and trauma, just so that everyone's on the same page. So you can experience grief without experiencing trauma. So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it. but all trauma has grief attached to it. Does that make sense? Kind of.
And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life. I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. And why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA.
And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life. I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. And why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were at the exact same event and something really bad happened. based off of my life experiences, how I'm wired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be something that completely traumatized me. Whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all, but just gave you grief.
And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me or how do I heal? It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me or how do I heal? It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say, you need the help of a professional.
So a person can go through the same exact thing, but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma. And so there's no definition of, well, this is what trauma is. This is what it isn't. It's your reaction. Trauma is your reaction to an event. So as you're trying to process through trauma, we all need different things. And this is where I say, you need the help of a professional.
Because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma, So often we feel shame and we don't get help, but we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains.
Because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go? The hospital. You go to the hospital. Like, no question. I'm going to go to the hospital. Well, if your brain is feeling this brokenness because of trauma, So often we feel shame and we don't get help, but we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our brains.
I don't know about you. But for me, in entrepreneurship, fear is can show up in so many different ways, but I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I don't know about you. But for me, in entrepreneurship, fear is can show up in so many different ways, but I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own. And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life.
So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where... You can feel safe to go get that help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own. And a lot of times it's so hard to that it carries with you throughout your whole life.
One of the ways, though, that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
One of the ways, though, that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. and why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA. And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me, or how do I heal?
I think right now a lot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma. and why things are passed down from one generation to the next. And it's because trauma literally physically changes your DNA. And when no one is taking a breath to be like, I want this to end with me, or how do I heal?
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
I wanted to. We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight that feels like it has buried every aspect of our life? And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in. All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school. We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.
And how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
And how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
It continues to be passed down through habits, through our reactions, through what we then teach our children, how we teach, how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
I don't know about you, but for me in entrepreneurship, fear can show up in so many different ways. But I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I don't know about you, but for me in entrepreneurship, fear can show up in so many different ways. But I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening. I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problem because it's masking something else that I just haven't dealt with.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
One of the ways though that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
One of the ways though that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of. Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about. Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of. In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid of. And we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if things really do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it out because that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
That's not what life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what we really want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up, but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything, that fear just keeps getting bigger.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on the things that we're afraid of.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year... Because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel that feeling.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year... Because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel that feeling.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
I think that so many of us, we're afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid of... falling flat on our faces, but it is in that dirt. When your nose hits the ground, the only way back is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start our growing journey.
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather not.
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather not.
be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up.
be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setback or failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. How could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do or if you never learned what didn't work? Of course, we have to fail and no one wants to feel it.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way. And now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
And my husband and I were like, if there's any shot of us making it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go.
And my husband and I were like, if there's any shot of us making it after this, we got to get away for a little while. So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee. I actually had had some employees there and everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix. And so we just said, peace out, let's go.
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is who can I serve today? Sometimes it's going to be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is who can I serve today? Sometimes it's going to be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
And they stay stuck. And then the next year, because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel stuck. that feeling.
And they stay stuck. And then the next year, because I hear from a lot of women who are like, I feel stuck here, but I don't know what to do. So I'm just going to stay here. And then a year goes by and you still feel stuck. that feeling.
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to
And to me, that's way more uncomfortable than trying something that doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm on this hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere. And I know what's not getting me anywhere. I would much rather be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actually really want to
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up. Totally.
to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that I wake up. Totally.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
So the five questions you can do in as little amount of time or as much time as you want every single morning. So the very first one is what is my intention today? Okay. The second one is why am I worthy? There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotaging ourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is, who can I serve today? Sometimes it's gonna be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with why am I worthy for this is actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life. The third question is, who can I serve today? Sometimes it's gonna be yourself. This is a really good place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself? Or how are my employees today?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last time that we had a check-in? That's a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one is what can I set down today or what can I let go of?
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day, whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely off balance, out of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control, but what can you just set down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things?
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
And then the very last question is, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the best version of me show up today? But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well, what is the best version of a mom? Or what's the best version of an employer? Or what's the best version of a partner?
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it i talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it i talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other people needed and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of me today so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am. So those are the five questions I start with. Love that.
But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of a okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run?
But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of a okay, what are we going to explore? What is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off and the grief was still there, we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run?
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
I love this. This is one of my very favorite things. I set intentions and I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside. And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time. Like, how do I actually want to feel? Do I want more peace in my life? Do I want more clarity? Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions? What is that feeling?
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
And I write that on a piece of paper. And then around that, I draw four boxes. for the different areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances or business, and then my relationships.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those four categories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four life areas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it I talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
in my life and if that's something you want more of we do a challenge about it I talk more about it in my book and in my podcast but check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings instead of starting with your goals and that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. And Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe your higher power to be. And...
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. And Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe your higher power to be. And...
when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
Ooh, this is such a good one. I would say invest in your mental health. There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build a sustainable business.
we feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time, but now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
we feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time, but now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
Oh, wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life? My secret is to create peace as my priority.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
Yeah, being able to live with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profit in every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base every decision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life or is it going to be something that prevents me from feeling peace? And that's the thing is pursuing peace.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life.
It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
to have a profitable life in all of the areas that you want to feel it in.
So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months. Hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off.
So we actually ended up packing carry-on suitcases and we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months. Hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everything is just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath. And again, after a while, that wore off.
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe, your higher power. to be.
Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought. It can't be mimicked by anything else. It can't be something that someone else gives you. Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment with your life, with who you believe, your higher power. to be.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com.
And when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
And when you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is setting types of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained, peace to me feels a lot like freedom. And there's a lot of things that can chain us that make us lose it, whether that's
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for having me.
We feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time. But now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
We feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxic relationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've just become a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time. But now it's not serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent us from experiencing more peace.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And so to me, peace is something that you cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
And it's so simple. It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life. Yeah, I love that.
And it's so simple. It's so simple. And honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I base every decision now. And it's changed my life and my business and my family's life. Yeah, I love that.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet all of your young and profiters. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging out over there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com. Amazing.
And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see what that looks like at ashleylemieux.com. Amazing.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for having me.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions. What is it that we want from our lives now and how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions. What is it that we want from our lives now and how do we rebuild so that we can participate in our life and not regret not living it because we were too sad?
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
Yeah, so what was really hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in whatever role you are in, let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at work or whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
If that is taken away from you and is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore. Your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purpose that I felt in my life, no longer being a physical mother, is something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.
Yeah, we waited. I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
Yeah, we waited. I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running well. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore. It didn't matter at that point because my business was running well. It was okay for me to step away for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feed breakfast to or to get to school or to bathe at night or to tuck in.
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is
Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment, was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
And I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now. And so I started with one simple question every single morning. And that question was, what is my intention today? Because today, right now in this moment, was all I could focus on. So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding and so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purpose and direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding and so that I could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
Yeah. We waited, I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos. to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
Yeah. We waited, I think it was about four years after the loss of the older two kiddos. to feel like we were at a place where we were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling as broken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into our family.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctor's appointments when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctor's appointments when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
And I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So We were so intentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of 2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix. We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the Immediately, they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the Immediately, they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
We want solid roots there so that when we have more kids, we're close to family and they get that experience of growing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home and right when we moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously we were so excited. And it just felt like for the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being born.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
breathed into our lives again and that there was forward movement and the grief was still there, but also now there was joy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. And I know no one likes to talk about this time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020 and everyone's like, yeah, that year freaking sucked. for me, right?
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctors, appointments, when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And it sucked for all of us for various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020, the same week that the pandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctors, appointments, when you were pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the house being pregnant.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the hospital. And immediately they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had felt fine. But then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed. I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance. They took me to the hospital. And immediately they checked the baby. Baby was okay.
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right? Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again.
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right? Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And I'm like, okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic. I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know sepsis is a blood infection. So whatever infection you have enters your bloodstream. And it started causing kidney failure for me. So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life threatening.
And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors. So your husband cannot come with you. You're going to have to come by yourself. And I just remember feeling That was the loneliest I think I have ever felt.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen. Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing and everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? Because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG, and I remember asking him, am I going to die right now? Because I felt like I was going to. And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keep me and my baby alive. I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And... it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right?
So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound. And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby boy. And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning. And... it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we had gone through the hard thing, right?
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again. And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again. And now what am I supposed to do? And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward?
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
And it might sound so simple to say that, But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt it has caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to heal and And to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create forward steps.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think this is such a good question because when we are in those moments, it really feels like we are the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feel so isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to be able to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories. Sometimes there's shame attached to it. Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it. But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies, whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it, we know that that helps facilitate healing.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
There's not a band-aid that can be put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say, everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds. And I'm going to be the first one to say that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
The one thing that we know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief, that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement. We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.
So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to be brought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to share my story, what... has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is that it helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories.