Brandon Jones

I think they're going to be this. I think this is an interesting question. I actually think about this pretty often as a father and also somebody who works with young people. I don't think that they're going to I don't think the stress levels are going to be worse. I think they're going to be different. And what I mean by that is this.

I think they're going to be this. I think this is an interesting question. I actually think about this pretty often as a father and also somebody who works with young people. I don't think that they're going to I don't think the stress levels are going to be worse. I think they're going to be different. And what I mean by that is this.

The kids that we have today, the last two generations, the Generation Zs and the new alphas that we never really talk about yet because they're all under the age of 13. But these kids are growing up in this fast-paced world that we didn't have. Our world was fast-paced for the time. But in this time... I would say culture, youth culture probably shifted maybe every 10 years or so.

The kids that we have today, the last two generations, the Generation Zs and the new alphas that we never really talk about yet because they're all under the age of 13. But these kids are growing up in this fast-paced world that we didn't have. Our world was fast-paced for the time. But in this time... I would say culture, youth culture probably shifted maybe every 10 years or so.

In this world, youth culture shifts probably every four years or so. The last time I was in school-based therapy was 2017, 18. Now, even if the pandemic didn't happen, I think this still would have took place. The young people who are in school now, they are very different than those kids. It's like it's almost night and day because youth culture shifts over. Their influencers shift over.

In this world, youth culture shifts probably every four years or so. The last time I was in school-based therapy was 2017, 18. Now, even if the pandemic didn't happen, I think this still would have took place. The young people who are in school now, they are very different than those kids. It's like it's almost night and day because youth culture shifts over. Their influencers shift over.

Their interest levels shift over. Their language shifts over. So the culture changes. So what they're stressed out about also manifests differently than what we were. It's some of the core stuff that when we grew up, relationships, parental issues, some politics, but not that much. These kids are way more political than I think we've ever seen before.

Their interest levels shift over. Their language shifts over. So the culture changes. So what they're stressed out about also manifests differently than what we were. It's some of the core stuff that when we grew up, relationships, parental issues, some politics, but not that much. These kids are way more political than I think we've ever seen before.

um mental health is a new phenomenon but it's not that we didn't deal with our mental and emotional health before we just didn't talk about it the way that we talk about it now i can log on to tiktok right now and any diagnosis you want to learn about you can click on it and i guarantee you'll find somebody under the age of 25 talking about how they live with that diagnosis

um mental health is a new phenomenon but it's not that we didn't deal with our mental and emotional health before we just didn't talk about it the way that we talk about it now i can log on to tiktok right now and any diagnosis you want to learn about you can click on it and i guarantee you'll find somebody under the age of 25 talking about how they live with that diagnosis

That is unheard of to have that level of access that's at your fingertips 24-7 and to have multiple perspectives and people who are seen as authorities or influencers. That's a different world, and that's going to bring a different level of stress. Another key thing to the stress of today that I think we should talk more about is the economic situation.

That is unheard of to have that level of access that's at your fingertips 24-7 and to have multiple perspectives and people who are seen as authorities or influencers. That's a different world, and that's going to bring a different level of stress. Another key thing to the stress of today that I think we should talk more about is the economic situation.

So there's a lot of uncertainty for folks who've been around for a long time. We have folks who used to work in jobs. You know, they'll get that good job out of school or they'll start their career early. They'll stay in that job forever. Nowadays, you're lucky if you have an employee stay in the job for two years. It's a different world.

So there's a lot of uncertainty for folks who've been around for a long time. We have folks who used to work in jobs. You know, they'll get that good job out of school or they'll start their career early. They'll stay in that job forever. Nowadays, you're lucky if you have an employee stay in the job for two years. It's a different world.

And these young people, they're not concerned about their economic future. They're in the gig economy. They're just going to figure it out as they go.

And these young people, they're not concerned about their economic future. They're in the gig economy. They're just going to figure it out as they go.

that's a whole different level of stress where you hop from one job to the other, where we had two generations before that were a lot more secure in making sure they get a pension, making sure that they have insurance after they retire, things of that nature. That's a different world. So we're going to see different responses to stress.

that's a whole different level of stress where you hop from one job to the other, where we had two generations before that were a lot more secure in making sure they get a pension, making sure that they have insurance after they retire, things of that nature. That's a different world. So we're going to see different responses to stress.

And I also think that we're starting to see a clash of the generations as far as what's the best way to move forward. Um, you know, there's a lot of differences in how we see the world based on our generations.

And I also think that we're starting to see a clash of the generations as far as what's the best way to move forward. Um, you know, there's a lot of differences in how we see the world based on our generations.

Great question. I would say that it's a shift. 100 years ago, we were going into the Great Depression. Today, we are not in a Great Depression. I don't think the level of stress that folks had 100 years ago, it's nowhere near where we are today. You do not have to hunt for your own food. You don't have to worry about someone coming and confiscating your land.

Great question. I would say that it's a shift. 100 years ago, we were going into the Great Depression. Today, we are not in a Great Depression. I don't think the level of stress that folks had 100 years ago, it's nowhere near where we are today. You do not have to hunt for your own food. You don't have to worry about someone coming and confiscating your land.

You don't have to worry about, if you were a woman and you were at the age of 18 and you weren't married yet, you would be ousted from your family 100 years ago. Today's world, we have things that we stress about, but we have no context for history and how stressful those times were. I think that in today's world, and this is me, this is one of my old man, get off my lawn things.

You don't have to worry about, if you were a woman and you were at the age of 18 and you weren't married yet, you would be ousted from your family 100 years ago. Today's world, we have things that we stress about, but we have no context for history and how stressful those times were. I think that in today's world, and this is me, this is one of my old man, get off my lawn things.

I'm getting older. So this is where I'm coming from. I think we make things more stressful than we need to be. We put our nose in business and we worry about things that are a little bit out of our control sometimes, which makes us overwhelming. And we've created this world where we have a lot of panic and fear over things that might not necessarily concern your individual life.

I'm getting older. So this is where I'm coming from. I think we make things more stressful than we need to be. We put our nose in business and we worry about things that are a little bit out of our control sometimes, which makes us overwhelming. And we've created this world where we have a lot of panic and fear over things that might not necessarily concern your individual life.

And that's one of the things that I think has come with this. It really started in the 90s where we created the 24-hour news cycle. There was a lot of panic that started around that time. And then it just manifested with social media where we are today. Literally, you can log on your phone right now, find some tragedy that's thousands of miles away from you, and then you have anxiety about it.

And that's one of the things that I think has come with this. It really started in the 90s where we created the 24-hour news cycle. There was a lot of panic that started around that time. And then it just manifested with social media where we are today. Literally, you can log on your phone right now, find some tragedy that's thousands of miles away from you, and then you have anxiety about it.

And then you have a desire to do something when really you probably can't do much about it as an individual. And that's not to sound so crass, but that's how that's the world we live in today. Where 100 years ago, you didn't have that access. You'll be lucky if you heard about something that happened a month later in a newspaper.

And then you have a desire to do something when really you probably can't do much about it as an individual. And that's not to sound so crass, but that's how that's the world we live in today. Where 100 years ago, you didn't have that access. You'll be lucky if you heard about something that happened a month later in a newspaper.

Like you may have had some radio access to 100 years ago, but really we didn't have so much access to things. And also we have more of a community feel 100 years ago as well, where people now it was still segregated in various different ethnicities. But people paid attention to the community and they developed their collective and their group in space. So it was a lot more localized.

Like you may have had some radio access to 100 years ago, but really we didn't have so much access to things. And also we have more of a community feel 100 years ago as well, where people now it was still segregated in various different ethnicities. But people paid attention to the community and they developed their collective and their group in space. So it was a lot more localized.

Where in today's world, we're more global focused. So we worry about everything all around the world. Where before we really worried about our front and our backyard more than anything.

Where in today's world, we're more global focused. So we worry about everything all around the world. Where before we really worried about our front and our backyard more than anything.

Well, I would say, you know, too much stress obviously is not that good for you. But again, it is a part of the human condition. I think the way that I've kind of helped master my stress is I use it as an awareness tool. That's how I know if I'm doing too much or if I'm not enjoying an activity properly. Or I know that I need to delegate on to someone else. So I'm in a leadership position.

Well, I would say, you know, too much stress obviously is not that good for you. But again, it is a part of the human condition. I think the way that I've kind of helped master my stress is I use it as an awareness tool. That's how I know if I'm doing too much or if I'm not enjoying an activity properly. Or I know that I need to delegate on to someone else. So I'm in a leadership position.

So it's a little different for myself sometimes. But I know when I when I feel stressed out about a meeting or a grant or assignment we're on, that's when I'm like, OK, I got to start delegating work to my team because these are things that I just can't take on at the moment. So it's a really it's a good awareness tool for individuals.

So it's a little different for myself sometimes. But I know when I when I feel stressed out about a meeting or a grant or assignment we're on, that's when I'm like, OK, I got to start delegating work to my team because these are things that I just can't take on at the moment. So it's a really it's a good awareness tool for individuals.

Okay. Not trying to point anyone out. We have a lot of people in common. They haven't responded yet.

Okay. Not trying to point anyone out. We have a lot of people in common. They haven't responded yet.

I know that's not everybody's condition, but I would say just in general life, your stress should be kind of like an alarm system for your body that you need to do something. That may mean some movement. It may mean some meditation. It may be a relationship that needs to be readjusted. Like you might need to, you know. Create some distance between you and this individual that's stressing you out.

I know that's not everybody's condition, but I would say just in general life, your stress should be kind of like an alarm system for your body that you need to do something. That may mean some movement. It may mean some meditation. It may be a relationship that needs to be readjusted. Like you might need to, you know. Create some distance between you and this individual that's stressing you out.

I think a lot of us just assume that stress is supposed to be in all our engagements and we end up tolerating a lot of things that we probably shouldn't tolerate. But I like to use it as an awareness tool first. Again, one of the key things I think for stress mastery is acceptance. And you as an individual have to identify what you're willing to accept in your life.

I think a lot of us just assume that stress is supposed to be in all our engagements and we end up tolerating a lot of things that we probably shouldn't tolerate. But I like to use it as an awareness tool first. Again, one of the key things I think for stress mastery is acceptance. And you as an individual have to identify what you're willing to accept in your life.

And then from there, you can decipher what you need to do to manage your stress. So by using stress as awareness tool, it kind of helps give you options to what you need to do based on the circumstance that you're in.

And then from there, you can decipher what you need to do to manage your stress. So by using stress as awareness tool, it kind of helps give you options to what you need to do based on the circumstance that you're in.

Well, let's look at how our society is different than every other, not every other, most of the world. Right, right. One of the things that divide, one of the things that happens here is we're divided on a lot of political issues. That causes a lot of stress for folks. Whether we're talking about liberal versus conservative, Republican versus Democrat, race and racism is a huge stressor for folks.

Well, let's look at how our society is different than every other, not every other, most of the world. Right, right. One of the things that divide, one of the things that happens here is we're divided on a lot of political issues. That causes a lot of stress for folks. Whether we're talking about liberal versus conservative, Republican versus Democrat, race and racism is a huge stressor for folks.

And then also, if we talk just about gender and sexual orientation and gender identities, Those are just those core things alone. I can see us being at that 50, 55 percent mark because those are huge social stressors that we see. Then let's take it to the next level. We have things like bills, our economic system. We have to pay for everything. Inflation.

And then also, if we talk just about gender and sexual orientation and gender identities, Those are just those core things alone. I can see us being at that 50, 55 percent mark because those are huge social stressors that we see. Then let's take it to the next level. We have things like bills, our economic system. We have to pay for everything. Inflation.

The prices change on things, but your income doesn't always change. Then there's the pressure of living this American life, which we know this idea of what it's supposed to be as an American individual has changed over time. You want to have the nice house and the dog and the children and be married. But our lives are not necessarily the same, right? We have over 50% rate of divorce.

The prices change on things, but your income doesn't always change. Then there's the pressure of living this American life, which we know this idea of what it's supposed to be as an American individual has changed over time. You want to have the nice house and the dog and the children and be married. But our lives are not necessarily the same, right? We have over 50% rate of divorce.

We have folks who have blended families now. We have folks who are not in heterosexual relationships. We have different religions. We're just in a different world and space. And the expectation is still something that's based off of, as Maddie was saying earlier, 100 years ago.

We have folks who have blended families now. We have folks who are not in heterosexual relationships. We have different religions. We're just in a different world and space. And the expectation is still something that's based off of, as Maddie was saying earlier, 100 years ago.

We've changed. We've changed. And I think that's why we're stressed out is we still have these ideals that have not caught up with the times for us as individuals. We have to redesign what it means to be healthy Americans. And we have to buy into that identity as well, which means that we do have to address some of the issues that are already raised.

We've changed. We've changed. And I think that's why we're stressed out is we still have these ideals that have not caught up with the times for us as individuals. We have to redesign what it means to be healthy Americans. And we have to buy into that identity as well, which means that we do have to address some of the issues that are already raised.

And I'm happy to be here yet again. This is a very important topic. Honestly, I think stress is one of those things that shows up in our lives every day. And we don't know how to always manage it for ourselves. And there's no exact way to manage stress. It's very subjective based on the individual. So I'm looking forward to our conversation today.

And I'm happy to be here yet again. This is a very important topic. Honestly, I think stress is one of those things that shows up in our lives every day. And we don't know how to always manage it for ourselves. And there's no exact way to manage stress. It's very subjective based on the individual. So I'm looking forward to our conversation today.

Yeah, I think our society has changed. That's another change that has happened that contributes to this high level of anxiety and stress. And you brought up women and body image. So this is what brought this thought to mind is we've noticed a increase in mental health concerns, anxiety and depression with young girls. And they're associating that with social media.

Yeah, I think our society has changed. That's another change that has happened that contributes to this high level of anxiety and stress. And you brought up women and body image. So this is what brought this thought to mind is we've noticed a increase in mental health concerns, anxiety and depression with young girls. And they're associating that with social media.

And what has happened is we used to call it keeping up with the Joneses where society used to be fascinated with the rich and famous life. We used to see that in magazines and on TV and just be like, wow, that's amazing. You know, and have an aspiration and even fantasies about living that life. And then this interesting thing called Instagram was created and Twitter or X now.

And what has happened is we used to call it keeping up with the Joneses where society used to be fascinated with the rich and famous life. We used to see that in magazines and on TV and just be like, wow, that's amazing. You know, and have an aspiration and even fantasies about living that life. And then this interesting thing called Instagram was created and Twitter or X now.

Now you can reach out and touch those people. And with cosmetic surgeries and other things and also products, you can wear what they wear. You can look like they look. You can be like these individuals without necessarily being those individuals anymore. That does something to us. And there's something about status and hierarchies. And it'd be a great research project.

Now you can reach out and touch those people. And with cosmetic surgeries and other things and also products, you can wear what they wear. You can look like they look. You can be like these individuals without necessarily being those individuals anymore. That does something to us. And there's something about status and hierarchies. And it'd be a great research project.

So if anyone's out there thinking about a PhD, here's a golden ticket for you. You can make your name and be somebody. Think about how hierarchies have always been a part of human nature. Think about how we've manifested that in today's world around brands, around status, around people. We went from keeping up with the Joneses to keeping up with the Kardashians.

So if anyone's out there thinking about a PhD, here's a golden ticket for you. You can make your name and be somebody. Think about how hierarchies have always been a part of human nature. Think about how we've manifested that in today's world around brands, around status, around people. We went from keeping up with the Joneses to keeping up with the Kardashians.

Now I look at my kids, they're Swifties. They know everything about Taylor Swift. I know nothing about Taylor Swift outside of paying for things with my kids. But they also idolize all these people who are regular people, but they're influencers. So they have YouTube channels and they do different things and they do lives and all this stuff. That's what they're into.

Now I look at my kids, they're Swifties. They know everything about Taylor Swift. I know nothing about Taylor Swift outside of paying for things with my kids. But they also idolize all these people who are regular people, but they're influencers. So they have YouTube channels and they do different things and they do lives and all this stuff. That's what they're into.

So that creates a hierarchy as well. But those are regular everyday people that they may run into at the Mall of America or at the airport. So we have this interesting dynamic that's taking place that many people aren't really paying attention to, where the hierarchy has somewhat shrunk. And regular everyday people are on this idolized level. But due to the internet, they are...

So that creates a hierarchy as well. But those are regular everyday people that they may run into at the Mall of America or at the airport. So we have this interesting dynamic that's taking place that many people aren't really paying attention to, where the hierarchy has somewhat shrunk. And regular everyday people are on this idolized level. But due to the internet, they are...

They're just regular people. I mean, you can literally run into these people at the grocery store, but they have some notoriety. So it's an interesting dynamic that's happening, but it also causes stress because if you can't go live, if you don't have that many followers or that many people liking your photo, then you feel bad about yourself.

They're just regular people. I mean, you can literally run into these people at the grocery store, but they have some notoriety. So it's an interesting dynamic that's happening, but it also causes stress because if you can't go live, if you don't have that many followers or that many people liking your photo, then you feel bad about yourself.

And that's something that we have to look at when it comes to mental health. So again, I'm just piecing together a puzzle here. So if anybody wants to take it further and research it, I highly encourage you to do so.

And that's something that we have to look at when it comes to mental health. So again, I'm just piecing together a puzzle here. So if anybody wants to take it further and research it, I highly encourage you to do so.

Yeah, I think that I think we're starting to learn about different types of coping skills before used to be walk away. When I was a kid, walk away from a situation or take a time out or have a glass of water. Now it's do yoga, you know, drink a fancy tea. Look, think about time management. Take time off. Set better boundaries, positive thinking.

Yeah, I think that I think we're starting to learn about different types of coping skills before used to be walk away. When I was a kid, walk away from a situation or take a time out or have a glass of water. Now it's do yoga, you know, drink a fancy tea. Look, think about time management. Take time off. Set better boundaries, positive thinking.

Oh, absolutely. I think that they're closely related. Let's call them cousins, but they're not exactly the same. So let's start with anxiety. We'll start backwards. Okay. Anxiety is a state. Well, let me start by saying this. Everyone has anxiety. It's a part of this human condition. where we get anxious, we worry, we may fret over things, we may get nervous.

Oh, absolutely. I think that they're closely related. Let's call them cousins, but they're not exactly the same. So let's start with anxiety. We'll start backwards. Okay. Anxiety is a state. Well, let me start by saying this. Everyone has anxiety. It's a part of this human condition. where we get anxious, we worry, we may fret over things, we may get nervous.

So, yeah, we were adding to the level of coping, which I think is good because, again, I said this earlier, coping and coping skills are very subjective based on the individual. Everything's not going to work for everyone. I remember when mindfulness came into the social service world, we were all taking the first 10 minutes of our meetings to sit in silence together.

So, yeah, we were adding to the level of coping, which I think is good because, again, I said this earlier, coping and coping skills are very subjective based on the individual. Everything's not going to work for everyone. I remember when mindfulness came into the social service world, we were all taking the first 10 minutes of our meetings to sit in silence together.

That wasn't something that worked very well for me. My mind was just racing with so many different things. I had anxiety doing that. I'm like, we need to stop doing this. This is not mindful at all for me. But what does work, what I learned is if I put a pair of earphones in and listening to a conversation or some music or something, I can focus that way.

That wasn't something that worked very well for me. My mind was just racing with so many different things. I had anxiety doing that. I'm like, we need to stop doing this. This is not mindful at all for me. But what does work, what I learned is if I put a pair of earphones in and listening to a conversation or some music or something, I can focus that way.

But that's not that's not for everyone else. That's just something I learned about my own anxiety level and stress level is that that's my coping skill. So it's great that we have this variation of things to do, but it's very important for people to figure out what fits for them.

But that's not that's not for everyone else. That's just something I learned about my own anxiety level and stress level is that that's my coping skill. So it's great that we have this variation of things to do, but it's very important for people to figure out what fits for them.

That's a great question. The hardest thing about saying no, and this is what I've taught, coached, and even counseled people with, is acceptance for what comes next. People are okay to say no. People will say no, but they're not ready for what comes after that no. The unknown expectation for what that no is going to set off is what prevents people from setting that boundary with others.

That's a great question. The hardest thing about saying no, and this is what I've taught, coached, and even counseled people with, is acceptance for what comes next. People are okay to say no. People will say no, but they're not ready for what comes after that no. The unknown expectation for what that no is going to set off is what prevents people from setting that boundary with others.

So again, since you can't always predict human behavior, you can influence, but you can't always predict it. You have to be okay with whatever takes place after you state that. Now, you may lose a relationship. You may lose a friend. You may have nasty words shared back at you. you may end up in a situation where you feel isolated or lonely.

So again, since you can't always predict human behavior, you can influence, but you can't always predict it. You have to be okay with whatever takes place after you state that. Now, you may lose a relationship. You may lose a friend. You may have nasty words shared back at you. you may end up in a situation where you feel isolated or lonely.

But you have to be okay with that if that's the course that's going to help you deal with that situation or that individual better by saying no. That's a very scary place for many people because we are human. We want to keep our relationships intact. But sometimes it's necessary for your own healing to detach from that individual or that situation.

But you have to be okay with that if that's the course that's going to help you deal with that situation or that individual better by saying no. That's a very scary place for many people because we are human. We want to keep our relationships intact. But sometimes it's necessary for your own healing to detach from that individual or that situation.

I think, again, we're in a society that creates that drastic difference, like that huge contrast between things going well and things not going well, which is why I think positive thinking is a key thing. where you start to develop your level of gratitude for the things that you do have and also your level of resilience.

I think, again, we're in a society that creates that drastic difference, like that huge contrast between things going well and things not going well, which is why I think positive thinking is a key thing. where you start to develop your level of gratitude for the things that you do have and also your level of resilience.

So when things don't go well, you can you start to see, OK, how have I managed these things? I'm still here. I'm still an individual. I still have people who love me. I still have resources. But we have to have a level of gratitude and resilience and that balance for ourselves to kind of help create that balance.

So when things don't go well, you can you start to see, OK, how have I managed these things? I'm still here. I'm still an individual. I still have people who love me. I still have resources. But we have to have a level of gratitude and resilience and that balance for ourselves to kind of help create that balance.

Cause what you see is that extreme high and extreme low, a lot of people, they're so down on themselves. They don't have appreciation for life. I see this a lot with young people when they break up with like their first real relationship. It's like, Oh, I'm never going to date someone again. And I love that person. I gave them my all. And it's like, it's going to be okay.

Cause what you see is that extreme high and extreme low, a lot of people, they're so down on themselves. They don't have appreciation for life. I see this a lot with young people when they break up with like their first real relationship. It's like, Oh, I'm never going to date someone again. And I love that person. I gave them my all. And it's like, it's going to be okay.

You know, you're 18 years old. You're probably going to meet 10 other people that you fall madly in love with. And it's going to be fine. But again, when you've had that one experience where, It creates that variance of high and low, and you can't always see what's in front of you or what could happen. But again, you have to have a level of resiliency and some gratitude for what you've dealt with.

You know, you're 18 years old. You're probably going to meet 10 other people that you fall madly in love with. And it's going to be fine. But again, when you've had that one experience where, It creates that variance of high and low, and you can't always see what's in front of you or what could happen. But again, you have to have a level of resiliency and some gratitude for what you've dealt with.

That's a part of just the human condition. Anxiety becomes a problem for people when it gets in the way of things that you want to do or things that you need to do. For example, we need to bathe. We need to groom ourselves. We need to eat at least two to three meals a day. We need at least six to eight hours of sleep.

That's a part of just the human condition. Anxiety becomes a problem for people when it gets in the way of things that you want to do or things that you need to do. For example, we need to bathe. We need to groom ourselves. We need to eat at least two to three meals a day. We need at least six to eight hours of sleep.

Yeah, I'm going to share a concept. Now, I'm working on a book. So this will be in the book once it's finished. But it's something I call the ABCs of resiliency. So whenever you're dealing with stress or anxiety, this may be an easy way for you to think about how to kind of manage through those situations. Now, again, I'm going to preface this subjective.

Yeah, I'm going to share a concept. Now, I'm working on a book. So this will be in the book once it's finished. But it's something I call the ABCs of resiliency. So whenever you're dealing with stress or anxiety, this may be an easy way for you to think about how to kind of manage through those situations. Now, again, I'm going to preface this subjective.

So you're going to have to figure out how to add in your own puzzle pieces to this puzzle. But I'm just going to give you the framework. So the ABCs of resiliency, the A is for adaptive awareness. What do I mean by that? Once you become aware of what your stressor is or what causes your anxiety, you have to adapt to that change, which means you kind of have to accept what has happened.

So you're going to have to figure out how to add in your own puzzle pieces to this puzzle. But I'm just going to give you the framework. So the ABCs of resiliency, the A is for adaptive awareness. What do I mean by that? Once you become aware of what your stressor is or what causes your anxiety, you have to adapt to that change, which means you kind of have to accept what has happened.

But you also now that you know what it is, you can start doing things about it. So you have to be able to kind of have some discovery there to figure out what's the stressor or what's this thing that's causing this anxiety for me. Which then leads to the B, which is for balance and boundaries. Now, you think about boundaries, a lot of people go to what you said earlier, Clarence.

But you also now that you know what it is, you can start doing things about it. So you have to be able to kind of have some discovery there to figure out what's the stressor or what's this thing that's causing this anxiety for me. Which then leads to the B, which is for balance and boundaries. Now, you think about boundaries, a lot of people go to what you said earlier, Clarence.

They want to just say no to everything. Yes, boundaries are about saying no, but that's not the only thing. Boundaries are an expectation for how I want to be treated and an expectation of how I treat myself. A lot of people struggle with that because they just they just assume that they should be treated any way that someone the way that other people treat you is what they accept.

They want to just say no to everything. Yes, boundaries are about saying no, but that's not the only thing. Boundaries are an expectation for how I want to be treated and an expectation of how I treat myself. A lot of people struggle with that because they just they just assume that they should be treated any way that someone the way that other people treat you is what they accept.

Instead of saying, nope, this is not healthy for me. This is what I need for myself. So being a little selfish there is OK. So make sure you find your balance and your boundaries. Now, your balance is in a lot of things. How much you want to do for others versus what you do for yourself. Balancing your time and your energy. Balancing your compassion versus your accountability for other people.

Instead of saying, nope, this is not healthy for me. This is what I need for myself. So being a little selfish there is OK. So make sure you find your balance and your boundaries. Now, your balance is in a lot of things. How much you want to do for others versus what you do for yourself. Balancing your time and your energy. Balancing your compassion versus your accountability for other people.

You have to balance these things as much as you can. And there's other balances that people can find for themselves as well. And then the C is what I call consecutive constructive choices. That's a law. Don't try to say that five times fast. Consecutive constructive choices, which means do the best thing that you can do for yourself, but make it consistent.

You have to balance these things as much as you can. And there's other balances that people can find for themselves as well. And then the C is what I call consecutive constructive choices. That's a law. Don't try to say that five times fast. Consecutive constructive choices, which means do the best thing that you can do for yourself, but make it consistent.

I met so many people in my career that they would try the new thing and it would work and they would never go back to it because it was unfamiliar. It wasn't in their comfort zone. They just didn't have it. They just didn't build it into their habits. Try to build those things into your habits. They're going to help you get better.

I met so many people in my career that they would try the new thing and it would work and they would never go back to it because it was unfamiliar. It wasn't in their comfort zone. They just didn't have it. They just didn't build it into their habits. Try to build those things into your habits. They're going to help you get better.

Sometimes that consistent constructive choice may be finding a new person to connect with, going to a new location, accessing new information. Sometimes it's okay to get outside of that comfort zone, but that's one of the key things. I've used this kind of strategy for resiliency in my own life. I've helped coach other people.

Sometimes that consistent constructive choice may be finding a new person to connect with, going to a new location, accessing new information. Sometimes it's okay to get outside of that comfort zone, but that's one of the key things. I've used this kind of strategy for resiliency in my own life. I've helped coach other people.

And what you start to notice is you start to feel a little bit more control over the things that happen and how to manage your stress and anxiety.

And what you start to notice is you start to feel a little bit more control over the things that happen and how to manage your stress and anxiety.

What would you say the Q's for? Well, cubed. Three C's. Yes. I didn't even think of that. I'm glad my book's not out yet. I can add that in there. I'll give you credit. I'll give you credit.

What would you say the Q's for? Well, cubed. Three C's. Yes. I didn't even think of that. I'm glad my book's not out yet. I can add that in there. I'll give you credit. I'll give you credit.

But anxiety, when it becomes problematic or even clinical, is when it interferes with those sorts of things. Anxiety can get in your way of going into public places such as school or a bank or maybe even a concert. It may affect your ability to go inside of an elevator, go down an escalator. get in a vehicle, get on the highway, it can affect a lot of things.

But anxiety, when it becomes problematic or even clinical, is when it interferes with those sorts of things. Anxiety can get in your way of going into public places such as school or a bank or maybe even a concert. It may affect your ability to go inside of an elevator, go down an escalator. get in a vehicle, get on the highway, it can affect a lot of things.

And some of those things are things that we need to do to get to work, school, home, things of that nature. So that's anxiety. Again, we all get anxious about something. It can be a fear of a dog, a spider, it could be heights, it can be a lot of things, but anxiety becomes a problem for people when it interferes with your ability to do what you need to do or what you want to do.

And some of those things are things that we need to do to get to work, school, home, things of that nature. So that's anxiety. Again, we all get anxious about something. It can be a fear of a dog, a spider, it could be heights, it can be a lot of things, but anxiety becomes a problem for people when it interferes with your ability to do what you need to do or what you want to do.

So that's anxiety. And like I said, anxiety is a close cousin of stress. Stress is similar. It's a part of everyone's life. We all have stress. But stress can be looked at in three different kind of dimensions. The first dimension of stress is what we call positive stress. This is like waking up late.

So that's anxiety. And like I said, anxiety is a close cousin of stress. Stress is similar. It's a part of everyone's life. We all have stress. But stress can be looked at in three different kind of dimensions. The first dimension of stress is what we call positive stress. This is like waking up late.

You sleep through your alarm, and you also sleep through your snooze button, and you wake up, and you got 15 minutes to get out the door. Or maybe you forget to plug your phone up overnight, and you wake up with 3% battery life, and now your day is starting a little behind. You may spill coffee on your shirt, and you got to get out of the door. That's what we call positive stress, right?

You sleep through your alarm, and you also sleep through your snooze button, and you wake up, and you got 15 minutes to get out the door. Or maybe you forget to plug your phone up overnight, and you wake up with 3% battery life, and now your day is starting a little behind. You may spill coffee on your shirt, and you got to get out of the door. That's what we call positive stress, right?

It's this immediate kind of letdown that we end up having. We get a little razzled. But eventually, we'll figure out a solution to keep moving throughout our day. So it doesn't slow us down, but it does give us pause in the moment. That's what we call positive stress. And again, everyone experiences this. Some people, they'll experience positive stress more than one time in a day.

It's this immediate kind of letdown that we end up having. We get a little razzled. But eventually, we'll figure out a solution to keep moving throughout our day. So it doesn't slow us down, but it does give us pause in the moment. That's what we call positive stress. And again, everyone experiences this. Some people, they'll experience positive stress more than one time in a day.

I would say you probably have at least three to four positive stress moments every week, just given the nature of how our lives are set up. You get an unexpected medical bill or your neighbor dog poops in your yard or something like that. You're going to have a level of stress that shows up. The second dimension of stress is what we call tolerable stress.

I would say you probably have at least three to four positive stress moments every week, just given the nature of how our lives are set up. You get an unexpected medical bill or your neighbor dog poops in your yard or something like that. You're going to have a level of stress that shows up. The second dimension of stress is what we call tolerable stress.

Now, again, most people will experience this as well. This is this is like when a grandparent suddenly passes away, doesn't feel good. You get overwhelmed. One of our main stress hormones is called cortisol. Your cortisol levels are raised pretty significantly due to the nature of the situation.

Now, again, most people will experience this as well. This is this is like when a grandparent suddenly passes away, doesn't feel good. You get overwhelmed. One of our main stress hormones is called cortisol. Your cortisol levels are raised pretty significantly due to the nature of the situation.

But over time, that stress level should come down, that cortisol level should come down because you figured out ways to adjust to whatever the event is that happened. Such things, car accidents, unexpected deaths, you know, just, you know,

But over time, that stress level should come down, that cortisol level should come down because you figured out ways to adjust to whatever the event is that happened. Such things, car accidents, unexpected deaths, you know, just, you know,

bad news, like Kobe Bryant, when Kobe Bryant passed away, a lot of people's tolerable stress level was up because a lot of people seen him as a very notable figure. These are the things that happen for people, but with relationships, coping skills, things like that, we're able to move forward. But the thing about tolerable stress is that we can have these moments where it peaks back up.

bad news, like Kobe Bryant, when Kobe Bryant passed away, a lot of people's tolerable stress level was up because a lot of people seen him as a very notable figure. These are the things that happen for people, but with relationships, coping skills, things like that, we're able to move forward. But the thing about tolerable stress is that we can have these moments where it peaks back up.

It doesn't get back to where it was initially, but your stress levels can peak With things like anniversaries, birthdays, the holiday season, any type of reminders. It can even be a smell. Any type of reminders of that event or that individual can bring your stress level back up. But over time, it shouldn't be as significant.

It doesn't get back to where it was initially, but your stress levels can peak With things like anniversaries, birthdays, the holiday season, any type of reminders. It can even be a smell. Any type of reminders of that event or that individual can bring your stress level back up. But over time, it shouldn't be as significant.

But again, it's very subjective and it depends on who the person is and what kind of coping skills they have. And then the third dimension of stress, which is what I call the big bad wolf of stress, which is what we call toxic stress. Now, this is what people like myself and in my field, we deal with a lot of this, where folks are in this very high level of cortisol, high levels of stress.

But again, it's very subjective and it depends on who the person is and what kind of coping skills they have. And then the third dimension of stress, which is what I call the big bad wolf of stress, which is what we call toxic stress. Now, this is what people like myself and in my field, we deal with a lot of this, where folks are in this very high level of cortisol, high levels of stress.

And usually with toxic stress, it's prolonged. It's very, very long. Complex things are happening, very challenging situations, things like being chronically homeless or unhoused, things like having a chronic illness, being bullied, being in a domestic violence relationship, dealing with terrorism, living in a concentration camp.

And usually with toxic stress, it's prolonged. It's very, very long. Complex things are happening, very challenging situations, things like being chronically homeless or unhoused, things like having a chronic illness, being bullied, being in a domestic violence relationship, dealing with terrorism, living in a concentration camp.

These are types of things that can lead to what we call toxic levels of stress. Even living in a neighborhood where there's consistent noise 24-7, sirens, music, people talking, people up and down stairs in apartment buildings, those things can be seen as toxic stress. And your body's responding. Your body's responding to being in those environments.

These are types of things that can lead to what we call toxic levels of stress. Even living in a neighborhood where there's consistent noise 24-7, sirens, music, people talking, people up and down stairs in apartment buildings, those things can be seen as toxic stress. And your body's responding. Your body's responding to being in those environments.

And a lot of times when people are in that toxic stress space, they're not even aware of it because it's been going on so long. that it becomes normalized for them. And that's where a lot of my work is, is helping people identify that is not normal. And you can do something about it outside of just leaving the environment.

And a lot of times when people are in that toxic stress space, they're not even aware of it because it's been going on so long. that it becomes normalized for them. And that's where a lot of my work is, is helping people identify that is not normal. And you can do something about it outside of just leaving the environment.

You have to work on those things because your body's still responding, whether you're cognitively aware of it or not. So that's a long example or explanation, but hopefully that gives people an idea of the difference and the connection.

You have to work on those things because your body's still responding, whether you're cognitively aware of it or not. So that's a long example or explanation, but hopefully that gives people an idea of the difference and the connection.

Yep. Absolutely. It has a huge impact on our children. Now, remember, our children's brains are developing until they're about 24 years old, 25 years old. So as they're living in these conditions where there's a lot of stimuli is probably the best way to talk about it. You know, their brains are developing around dealing with so much noise, so much anxiety.

Yep. Absolutely. It has a huge impact on our children. Now, remember, our children's brains are developing until they're about 24 years old, 25 years old. So as they're living in these conditions where there's a lot of stimuli is probably the best way to talk about it. You know, their brains are developing around dealing with so much noise, so much anxiety.

If we want to throw that in there, there's some anxiousness in these spaces and places as well. A lot of kids end up being hypervigilant. A lot of kids end up being sensory sensitive, which means that, you know, certain things kind of can agitate them or rev them up. So guess what happens when those kids are taken out of those environments?

If we want to throw that in there, there's some anxiousness in these spaces and places as well. A lot of kids end up being hypervigilant. A lot of kids end up being sensory sensitive, which means that, you know, certain things kind of can agitate them or rev them up. So guess what happens when those kids are taken out of those environments?

They go to a library, a museum, a zoo, sometimes even school. They sometimes have issues adjusting to those things. And then we start to see behavioral issues rev up because those kids are being dysregulated because their stimuli isn't where it needs to be. I was one of those kids. I grew up in a very toxic, stressed household. I've seen a lot of domestic violence as a kid.

They go to a library, a museum, a zoo, sometimes even school. They sometimes have issues adjusting to those things. And then we start to see behavioral issues rev up because those kids are being dysregulated because their stimuli isn't where it needs to be. I was one of those kids. I grew up in a very toxic, stressed household. I've seen a lot of domestic violence as a kid.

It's no secret for folks who are familiar with me. They know I've talked about this publicly several times. And I learned that I had to leave and learn this into late into my into my I mean, not late, early into my early 30s, how my body is so regulated to stimuli. In my early 30s, I had a very interesting situation happen. I moved to the suburbs. I moved to the suburbs.

It's no secret for folks who are familiar with me. They know I've talked about this publicly several times. And I learned that I had to leave and learn this into late into my into my I mean, not late, early into my early 30s, how my body is so regulated to stimuli. In my early 30s, I had a very interesting situation happen. I moved to the suburbs. I moved to the suburbs.

And I'll never forget my first night in our new townhome. I had anxiety through the roof. I couldn't sleep. It was pitch black. All I heard was like crickets outside. I didn't hear no noise, no nothing. I'm a city kid. I'm used to hearing buses and trains, people and music. And I had anxiety just because I was in a quiet environment, like pitch black.

And I'll never forget my first night in our new townhome. I had anxiety through the roof. I couldn't sleep. It was pitch black. All I heard was like crickets outside. I didn't hear no noise, no nothing. I'm a city kid. I'm used to hearing buses and trains, people and music. And I had anxiety just because I was in a quiet environment, like pitch black.

I'd never been in a situation where there was no lights outside. I look out the window and I just see darkness. It took my body probably about a month to adjust to that new environment.

I'd never been in a situation where there was no lights outside. I look out the window and I just see darkness. It took my body probably about a month to adjust to that new environment.

and i and i had to think about man what was going on with me like what was happening and it's like that was probably the first time i've been in an environment that was that quiet and that's not every suburb that's just you know the location that i was in but i have my body doesn't my body's not used to that even when i went to college I was in I was at the University of Minnesota.

and i and i had to think about man what was going on with me like what was happening and it's like that was probably the first time i've been in an environment that was that quiet and that's not every suburb that's just you know the location that i was in but i have my body doesn't my body's not used to that even when i went to college I was in I was at the University of Minnesota.

It's hustle and bustle up and down all day, every day there. So I was always in these high stimuli environments that at that time I never was in. But that comes from my childhood. You know, I had to be hyper vigilant as a child because at any given moment, an argument can break out. A fight can happen. And I and I was the oldest. I had to be responsible not only for my own protection sometimes.

It's hustle and bustle up and down all day, every day there. So I was always in these high stimuli environments that at that time I never was in. But that comes from my childhood. You know, I had to be hyper vigilant as a child because at any given moment, an argument can break out. A fight can happen. And I and I was the oldest. I had to be responsible not only for my own protection sometimes.

but also my younger siblings. And that was just, you know, the role that I assumed as a child. So that, so a lot of that stays with us and we develop certain coping skills and survival skills really around some of the stimuli that happens in our environments.

but also my younger siblings. And that was just, you know, the role that I assumed as a child. So that, so a lot of that stays with us and we develop certain coping skills and survival skills really around some of the stimuli that happens in our environments.

Yeah. When it comes to stress, There's two core, again, I'm a little biased with the research, but two things that I focus on when it comes to physiological. The first one is cortisol levels. Cortisol is your main stress hormone. There's other ones, but that's the key one because if you manage your cortisol levels, it can have certain impacts on your actual physical and your mental health.

Yeah. When it comes to stress, There's two core, again, I'm a little biased with the research, but two things that I focus on when it comes to physiological. The first one is cortisol levels. Cortisol is your main stress hormone. There's other ones, but that's the key one because if you manage your cortisol levels, it can have certain impacts on your actual physical and your mental health.

So some people who have high levels of cortisol, they may be more prone to heart disease, things like obesity, things of that nature. So that's one area, and I'm going to come back to that one. The second one is what we call your synaptic brain development, your synaptic connections.

So some people who have high levels of cortisol, they may be more prone to heart disease, things like obesity, things of that nature. So that's one area, and I'm going to come back to that one. The second one is what we call your synaptic brain development, your synaptic connections.

Now, this is the part of your brain, and I'm going to try not to lose the audience here by getting real nerdy and talking about brainwaves. brain connection. But this is the one that's key for our development. Like I said, between the ages of pretty much from when you're born to when you're about 25 years old, those synaptic connections are starting to, they're developing.

Now, this is the part of your brain, and I'm going to try not to lose the audience here by getting real nerdy and talking about brainwaves. brain connection. But this is the one that's key for our development. Like I said, between the ages of pretty much from when you're born to when you're about 25 years old, those synaptic connections are starting to, they're developing.

And then there's a pruning process that takes place when you go through puberty. Just like our bodies go through puberty during those preteen years, so does our brains. And what happens is those synaptic connections start to adapt to how you live your life. And we start this pruning process for things that your body has identified what you need for survival.

And then there's a pruning process that takes place when you go through puberty. Just like our bodies go through puberty during those preteen years, so does our brains. And what happens is those synaptic connections start to adapt to how you live your life. And we start this pruning process for things that your body has identified what you need for survival.

So for myself, growing up in a household that I grew up in, I knew for my survival, I used hypervigilance as just one of the key things because I'm always like assessing what's going on. That comes from my senses, right? So many of us learn about our five senses when we're younger and that we're always assessing our environment.

So for myself, growing up in a household that I grew up in, I knew for my survival, I used hypervigilance as just one of the key things because I'm always like assessing what's going on. That comes from my senses, right? So many of us learn about our five senses when we're younger and that we're always assessing our environment.

So that's one of the key things that happens with our snap connections. Cortisol, again, is subjective based on the person. Depending on your environment, how you've adjusted that environment, some of your coping skills you have, it will determine how much cortisol you have within your body. But again, that's one of the key things to pay attention to. You can get a cortisol scan.

So that's one of the key things that happens with our snap connections. Cortisol, again, is subjective based on the person. Depending on your environment, how you've adjusted that environment, some of your coping skills you have, it will determine how much cortisol you have within your body. But again, that's one of the key things to pay attention to. You can get a cortisol scan.

There's probably a bigger, fancier title for that. If you're ever curious and you go to the doctor, they can let you know how much cortisol is actually in your system as well.

There's probably a bigger, fancier title for that. If you're ever curious and you go to the doctor, they can let you know how much cortisol is actually in your system as well.

That's a good question. I'm not sure. I would have to look that up to see if it changes as you get older. I would assume it does just because your hormones do. So I would assume that there are some changes that happens within the body for an individual, but I would have to do some further research to confirm that.

That's a good question. I'm not sure. I would have to look that up to see if it changes as you get older. I would assume it does just because your hormones do. So I would assume that there are some changes that happens within the body for an individual, but I would have to do some further research to confirm that.

Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, it's interesting because the medical world and the mental health world, although there's a lot of crossover, there's not a lot of cures for mental health disorders. So what we do is we treat symptoms.

Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, it's interesting because the medical world and the mental health world, although there's a lot of crossover, there's not a lot of cures for mental health disorders. So what we do is we treat symptoms.

We utilize strategies, coping mechanisms, and that's what a person with narcissistic personality disorder, what they would have if they were in a therapeutic dynamic or therapeutic situation is they would treat the symptoms of these things. So let's take relationships, for example. A lot of these folks have relationship strains. So we would cope, okay, it's the communication skills.

We utilize strategies, coping mechanisms, and that's what a person with narcissistic personality disorder, what they would have if they were in a therapeutic dynamic or therapeutic situation is they would treat the symptoms of these things. So let's take relationships, for example. A lot of these folks have relationship strains. So we would cope, okay, it's the communication skills.

We may teach something like nonviolent communication. How to deal with their own emotions so they feel like their self-esteem is low. We're teaching cognitive behavioral therapy skills to help them make sure that they're thinking their behaviors and their feelings are all aligned with one another. So, yeah, you're treating symptoms and not necessarily finding a cure to the personality disorder.

We may teach something like nonviolent communication. How to deal with their own emotions so they feel like their self-esteem is low. We're teaching cognitive behavioral therapy skills to help them make sure that they're thinking their behaviors and their feelings are all aligned with one another. So, yeah, you're treating symptoms and not necessarily finding a cure to the personality disorder.

That's a great question. I think that's a little subjective based on the person. But like with any mental health therapy, it's going to probably be between three to six months before that individual realizes that thing that they can implement some of these things and make the change. Now, remember, they're narcissistic. So they're assessing this relationship with a therapist as well.

That's a great question. I think that's a little subjective based on the person. But like with any mental health therapy, it's going to probably be between three to six months before that individual realizes that thing that they can implement some of these things and make the change. Now, remember, they're narcissistic. So they're assessing this relationship with a therapist as well.

They're wondering, you know, what is this person trying to do to me? They don't have any empathy for the therapist. They barely know you. They're utilizing a service. So that narcissistic dynamic also takes place in a therapeutic relationship as well. So they're going to utilize the tools that they've utilized to navigate their world with you, and you're aware of this.

They're wondering, you know, what is this person trying to do to me? They don't have any empathy for the therapist. They barely know you. They're utilizing a service. So that narcissistic dynamic also takes place in a therapeutic relationship as well. So they're going to utilize the tools that they've utilized to navigate their world with you, and you're aware of this.

So it's almost like, I don't want to make it seem too complicated, but it's kind of like a little bit of a chess match between you and the narcissistic person. You're trying to help them, but at the same time, they have an inflated self-image, so they may be defensive or they may minimize things.

So it's almost like, I don't want to make it seem too complicated, but it's kind of like a little bit of a chess match between you and the narcissistic person. You're trying to help them, but at the same time, they have an inflated self-image, so they may be defensive or they may minimize things.

They have a fragile self-esteem, so they don't want to hear a therapist point out, hey, you're doing something incorrect or wrong or wrong. maybe it was your fault or you need to take some accountability, that goes against their personality type. So they're usually looking for solutions for other people to do and not necessarily themselves.

They have a fragile self-esteem, so they don't want to hear a therapist point out, hey, you're doing something incorrect or wrong or wrong. maybe it was your fault or you need to take some accountability, that goes against their personality type. So they're usually looking for solutions for other people to do and not necessarily themselves.

So it's a little bit of a chess match, but a skilled therapist who specialize with narcissistic people, they know how to work those dynamics and relationships. I would say your average kind of run-of-the-mill therapist who's not necessarily specialized in narcissism, they'll pick it up and they'll give them some skill sets that they should be able to utilize.

So it's a little bit of a chess match, but a skilled therapist who specialize with narcissistic people, they know how to work those dynamics and relationships. I would say your average kind of run-of-the-mill therapist who's not necessarily specialized in narcissism, they'll pick it up and they'll give them some skill sets that they should be able to utilize.

But if you identify you have a narcissist, you want to get someone who specializes working with that population because they will really help.

But if you identify you have a narcissist, you want to get someone who specializes working with that population because they will really help.

Well, I would say there's a few areas that you have to focus on to maintain yourself, right? So a lot of times there's going to be jealousy in the dynamic. So how do you deal with jealousy with this narcissistic person? And they can be jealous of anything.

Well, I would say there's a few areas that you have to focus on to maintain yourself, right? So a lot of times there's going to be jealousy in the dynamic. So how do you deal with jealousy with this narcissistic person? And they can be jealous of anything.

You get a new vehicle, you get a promotion at work, your friend gives you a gift for your birthday, and the narcissist feels like their gift wasn't good enough. There's all types of things around the corner that can happen. I would say you have to definitely not minimize, but really be focused on the sensitivity to criticism.

You get a new vehicle, you get a promotion at work, your friend gives you a gift for your birthday, and the narcissist feels like their gift wasn't good enough. There's all types of things around the corner that can happen. I would say you have to definitely not minimize, but really be focused on the sensitivity to criticism.

Narcissists will criticize you for a lot of things, your looks, your skin color, your height, your clothing. Your laughter like that they will pick on things because they want to evoke an emotion out of you that they can utilize to dictate behavior so you have to figure out okay is this person utilizing one of their things to like manipulate me.

Narcissists will criticize you for a lot of things, your looks, your skin color, your height, your clothing. Your laughter like that they will pick on things because they want to evoke an emotion out of you that they can utilize to dictate behavior so you have to figure out okay is this person utilizing one of their things to like manipulate me.

Or is this individual just, you know, point out something that I probably should do myself? You know, they they manipulate relationships. So you have to pay attention to the other social dynamics. So let's say let's use the husband and wife kind of dynamic because it's an easy one to talk about. But they may manipulate the children that are involved or any close family members or friends.

Or is this individual just, you know, point out something that I probably should do myself? You know, they they manipulate relationships. So you have to pay attention to the other social dynamics. So let's say let's use the husband and wife kind of dynamic because it's an easy one to talk about. But they may manipulate the children that are involved or any close family members or friends.

To maybe take their side or to add into the things that they're doing to you. Like that's something that's important to pay attention to. And then the other thing that I would suggest is that a lot of times narcissists will make unrealistic goals. They'll set up these dynamics where they want to achieve something. I'll just use something arbitrary like they want to go on an elaborate vacation.

To maybe take their side or to add into the things that they're doing to you. Like that's something that's important to pay attention to. And then the other thing that I would suggest is that a lot of times narcissists will make unrealistic goals. They'll set up these dynamics where they want to achieve something. I'll just use something arbitrary like they want to go on an elaborate vacation.

Let's go to Aruba and live it up, you know. They have no plan. They might not have any finances to do it. There might not be anything to help, but they're going to put it in your head that it's going to happen because they want you to believe in the inflated thought that they can make something happen. But you're ultimately going to get let down when it doesn't.

Let's go to Aruba and live it up, you know. They have no plan. They might not have any finances to do it. There might not be anything to help, but they're going to put it in your head that it's going to happen because they want you to believe in the inflated thought that they can make something happen. But you're ultimately going to get let down when it doesn't.

And that's one of those manipulative things that these folks do. So they'll set up these unattainable goals and they have no intention of achieving any of these things. Wow.

And that's one of those manipulative things that these folks do. So they'll set up these unattainable goals and they have no intention of achieving any of these things. Wow.

Yeah, I would say the feeds definitely praise narcissism. So, you know, we normally, especially in the personal development world, we talk about patting yourself on the back. That's what you don't want a narcissist to do. You don't want them to pat themselves on the back. Because their patting on the back is just like, it's like 10 times what we would normally think of a pat on the back, right?

Yeah, I would say the feeds definitely praise narcissism. So, you know, we normally, especially in the personal development world, we talk about patting yourself on the back. That's what you don't want a narcissist to do. You don't want them to pat themselves on the back. Because their patting on the back is just like, it's like 10 times what we would normally think of a pat on the back, right?

So that praise, they can praise themselves. They want it. They want their praise to come through behavior actions, right? So what I can get someone to do is definitely a huge motivator for me. And that's how I know that I'm okay, that I'm safe, quote unquote, that I'm doing what I need to do as a narcissist. I would say the other thing that feeds them is resources.

So that praise, they can praise themselves. They want it. They want their praise to come through behavior actions, right? So what I can get someone to do is definitely a huge motivator for me. And that's how I know that I'm okay, that I'm safe, quote unquote, that I'm doing what I need to do as a narcissist. I would say the other thing that feeds them is resources.

Absolutely. Greetings and thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to our conversation today. Now, narcissism is a very popular mental health diagnosis. A lot of people take usually the negative perspective on narcissism. I try to give it a little bit more love because I understand there are people who really do live with this. and it's not just a character defect that an individual has.

Absolutely. Greetings and thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to our conversation today. Now, narcissism is a very popular mental health diagnosis. A lot of people take usually the negative perspective on narcissism. I try to give it a little bit more love because I understand there are people who really do live with this. and it's not just a character defect that an individual has.

You know, being able to have things and being able to show the things that you have, those rewards, those trophies, so to say, those are huge. So narcissists, they'll have the fancy sports car, right? They'll have the trophies displayed, the awards. You know, they want to be on the front cover of the magazine or the newspaper. Like that feeds who they are.

You know, being able to have things and being able to show the things that you have, those rewards, those trophies, so to say, those are huge. So narcissists, they'll have the fancy sports car, right? They'll have the trophies displayed, the awards. You know, they want to be on the front cover of the magazine or the newspaper. Like that feeds who they are.

They want you to know who they're, they want that legacy and that representation. They want that.

They want you to know who they're, they want that legacy and that representation. They want that.

you know so recognition is a huge thing for these folks as well um and then ultimately this is kind of hard to see but a narcissist from what we know through research they like it's just general control when they have a sense that they have that control that's what a narcissist they're in their comfort zone when they don't have controls when they're dysregulated and then that's when they start to do things that harm many different people

you know so recognition is a huge thing for these folks as well um and then ultimately this is kind of hard to see but a narcissist from what we know through research they like it's just general control when they have a sense that they have that control that's what a narcissist they're in their comfort zone when they don't have controls when they're dysregulated and then that's when they start to do things that harm many different people

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of different skill sets. I think I'm just going to give a general thing and not dive too far into the technical things.

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of different skill sets. I think I'm just going to give a general thing and not dive too far into the technical things.

Some of the things that you can do like today that don't cost you any money is I would recommend that you seek help and seek help again from someone who specializes in dealing with narcissists because they're going to give you the great rock and they're going to give you those skill sets and those tools to put in your toolbox because it's very subjective based on who you're dealing with.

Some of the things that you can do like today that don't cost you any money is I would recommend that you seek help and seek help again from someone who specializes in dealing with narcissists because they're going to give you the great rock and they're going to give you those skill sets and those tools to put in your toolbox because it's very subjective based on who you're dealing with.

Now, it also depends on the relationship. It could be your boss. It could be somebody you're in a dating relationship with. It could be one of your children. It could be one of your children. It could be a neighbor. It depends on what the dynamic is to help you determine what skill sets to utilize for dealing with the narcissistic person.

Now, it also depends on the relationship. It could be your boss. It could be somebody you're in a dating relationship with. It could be one of your children. It could be one of your children. It could be a neighbor. It depends on what the dynamic is to help you determine what skill sets to utilize for dealing with the narcissistic person.

So definitely seeking help is, I think, the first thing you should do. And now that seeking help can look like talking directly to someone, getting getting a narcissist coach. There's a lot of people who study this for a living or do what you just said.

So definitely seeking help is, I think, the first thing you should do. And now that seeking help can look like talking directly to someone, getting getting a narcissist coach. There's a lot of people who study this for a living or do what you just said.

Go to YouTube and start watching these videos and informing yourself with what this disorder is and how do these people navigate the world around them? You know, one of the things, too, is if you have the opportunity to get away from the person, that's a choice as well. Believe it or not. I mean, sometimes you might not have that choice. Right. It may be someone you're attached to.

Go to YouTube and start watching these videos and informing yourself with what this disorder is and how do these people navigate the world around them? You know, one of the things, too, is if you have the opportunity to get away from the person, that's a choice as well. Believe it or not. I mean, sometimes you might not have that choice. Right. It may be someone you're attached to.

But but if it is if it is an option, we create that distance. Yeah, I don't think that it's an inappropriate thing for one to do. I think being patient is another key thing to do. Just because you're informed now or you've figured out that this person meets the criteria for narcissism doesn't mean that the change is going to happen overnight. So you have to be patient with yourself. Pay attention.

But but if it is if it is an option, we create that distance. Yeah, I don't think that it's an inappropriate thing for one to do. I think being patient is another key thing to do. Just because you're informed now or you've figured out that this person meets the criteria for narcissism doesn't mean that the change is going to happen overnight. So you have to be patient with yourself. Pay attention.

Watch what's happening and be patient that change can happen. But you have to act. You have to do something. You can't just wait and let time take place. That necessarily doesn't mean that things are going to get better. Then the next thing that I would say, too, would be consistency is going to be important as well.

Watch what's happening and be patient that change can happen. But you have to act. You have to do something. You can't just wait and let time take place. That necessarily doesn't mean that things are going to get better. Then the next thing that I would say, too, would be consistency is going to be important as well.

So some of the techniques out there that are shared with how to combat narcissistic behaviors take time to develop. So be consistent. If it doesn't work the first time, keep doing it. Keep going. Because it can help you kind of navigate the dynamic that you're in, especially if you're in one of those relationships that you can't disengage from. I would also say support groups are out there.

So some of the techniques out there that are shared with how to combat narcissistic behaviors take time to develop. So be consistent. If it doesn't work the first time, keep doing it. Keep going. Because it can help you kind of navigate the dynamic that you're in, especially if you're in one of those relationships that you can't disengage from. I would also say support groups are out there.

So narcissism refers to the expressive self-love, self-absorption, and a lack of empathy towards others. It's rooted in a person's inflated sense of their own self-importance and a deep need to exercise attention and admiration for oneself. Some of the key features of narcissism are self-focus, The need for admiration, the lack of empathy, the inflated self-image, and fragile self-esteem.

So narcissism refers to the expressive self-love, self-absorption, and a lack of empathy towards others. It's rooted in a person's inflated sense of their own self-importance and a deep need to exercise attention and admiration for oneself. Some of the key features of narcissism are self-focus, The need for admiration, the lack of empathy, the inflated self-image, and fragile self-esteem.

They're mostly online. But you can find victims of narcissistic personality disorder groups out there. They do exist. And there's tons of resources that these groups have to help you. And what else would I say? I would say that... outside of the professional health piece, your own, just maintaining your own development and self-help is going to be good. And I use self-help as just a general term.

They're mostly online. But you can find victims of narcissistic personality disorder groups out there. They do exist. And there's tons of resources that these groups have to help you. And what else would I say? I would say that... outside of the professional health piece, your own, just maintaining your own development and self-help is going to be good. And I use self-help as just a general term.

Mindfulness, meditation, just making sure that your mental and emotional health is in a good space because being around or with a narcissistic person can be very draining.

Mindfulness, meditation, just making sure that your mental and emotional health is in a good space because being around or with a narcissistic person can be very draining.

Yeah, that's a good question. So for the most part, there's different types of narcissists that we've been able to identify. And these narcissists are usually driven by like the types of behaviors that they do.

Yeah, that's a good question. So for the most part, there's different types of narcissists that we've been able to identify. And these narcissists are usually driven by like the types of behaviors that they do.

So there's like the grandiose narcissist, which is the classic, which is what I've been kind of referring to most of our conversation today, kind of showing off overly confident individual behaviors.

So there's like the grandiose narcissist, which is the classic, which is what I've been kind of referring to most of our conversation today, kind of showing off overly confident individual behaviors.

There's what they call the convert or vulnerable narcissist, which is characterized by a lack of empathy, entitlement, hypersensitivity, passive aggressive behaviors, sense of justice, resentment, insecurity, low levels of self-esteem and high levels of depression. So these people are so internal that they start to almost develop their own depressive disorders due to their behaviors.

There's what they call the convert or vulnerable narcissist, which is characterized by a lack of empathy, entitlement, hypersensitivity, passive aggressive behaviors, sense of justice, resentment, insecurity, low levels of self-esteem and high levels of depression. So these people are so internal that they start to almost develop their own depressive disorders due to their behaviors.

I haven't come across an individual with that in my work, but there are cases out there that have been shared and researched around those types of individuals. What are the other ones? The communal narcissists are wholly engaged in the community and they post a lot of things online. So you'll see these folks really trying to make the change. But it's all about what they do in social media.

I haven't come across an individual with that in my work, but there are cases out there that have been shared and researched around those types of individuals. What are the other ones? The communal narcissists are wholly engaged in the community and they post a lot of things online. So you'll see these folks really trying to make the change. But it's all about what they do in social media.

So so you all mentioned earlier and we and I kind of didn't answer the question. I'm go back to it about those folks who are utilizing social media. They're taking selfies where they're posting everything that they do that there is a level of that. With narcissism. I wouldn't say it's everyone because you got to remember that's kind of our culture today.

So so you all mentioned earlier and we and I kind of didn't answer the question. I'm go back to it about those folks who are utilizing social media. They're taking selfies where they're posting everything that they do that there is a level of that. With narcissism. I wouldn't say it's everyone because you got to remember that's kind of our culture today.

We have this like online persona like culture, but there are narcissistic people that have to have that post. And if they don't, then you start to see some of their mental health issues show up. They start to develop depression. They start to develop anxiety.

We have this like online persona like culture, but there are narcissistic people that have to have that post. And if they don't, then you start to see some of their mental health issues show up. They start to develop depression. They start to develop anxiety.

You may see these people start to indulge in cosmetic surgeries and things of that nature because they want to appear like this perfect person, perfect life.

You may see these people start to indulge in cosmetic surgeries and things of that nature because they want to appear like this perfect person, perfect life.

etc it's a it's a very interesting dynamic um there's one called uh oh man it's what is it called is the milligan milligan i think the milligan or milligan but it looks like the dark triad and if you're familiar with psychology the dark triad talks about psychopathology uh machiavellianism and narcissism and what this one what this particular type of

etc it's a it's a very interesting dynamic um there's one called uh oh man it's what is it called is the milligan milligan i think the milligan or milligan but it looks like the dark triad and if you're familiar with psychology the dark triad talks about psychopathology uh machiavellianism and narcissism and what this one what this particular type of

of narcissism is for individuals who are very charming, but they're very political, very manipulative. They lack a lot of remorse. This is probably where we would put a lot of politicians to that area, unfortunately, especially the ones that we like to highlight over time. I will say that they fit within that kind of group of narcissism. Like these are very they are very influential people.

of narcissism is for individuals who are very charming, but they're very political, very manipulative. They lack a lot of remorse. This is probably where we would put a lot of politicians to that area, unfortunately, especially the ones that we like to highlight over time. I will say that they fit within that kind of group of narcissism. Like these are very they are very influential people.

Some may even say that you may even get cult leaders who would be kind of in that space where they will cause harm to individuals. But, man, they are very charismatic. We have the neglect narcissist. They don't engage with anyone unless they have something for them. These are folks who are very isolating and state of themselves.

Some may even say that you may even get cult leaders who would be kind of in that space where they will cause harm to individuals. But, man, they are very charismatic. We have the neglect narcissist. They don't engage with anyone unless they have something for them. These are folks who are very isolating and state of themselves.

Sometimes this narcissism gets overlooked because these individuals aren't as social.

Sometimes this narcissism gets overlooked because these individuals aren't as social.

um they're not pathological like they're not gonna hurt anyone typically but they just they're so engulfed that they just stay to themselves um we have people who are uh they have a lot of entitled entitled narcissists they're entitled uh they again they want to be on the front page of the magazine i would say if i had to put a profession on this one this is more of your movie star entertainer where they they really feed off that that light and that shine um yeah

um they're not pathological like they're not gonna hurt anyone typically but they just they're so engulfed that they just stay to themselves um we have people who are uh they have a lot of entitled entitled narcissists they're entitled uh they again they want to be on the front page of the magazine i would say if i had to put a profession on this one this is more of your movie star entertainer where they they really feed off that that light and that shine um yeah

And those last two are usually what get in the way of people who have the diagnosis of narcissism and cause a lot of social conflict within their daily lives.

And those last two are usually what get in the way of people who have the diagnosis of narcissism and cause a lot of social conflict within their daily lives.

Yeah, those are typically the types that I've come across. I'm pretty sure there's other ones out there. So there's different types, but I don't know if there's levels. I don't know if there's a level three narcissist that we should watch out for. Their criteria is a lot more stronger.

Yeah, those are typically the types that I've come across. I'm pretty sure there's other ones out there. So there's different types, but I don't know if there's levels. I don't know if there's a level three narcissist that we should watch out for. Their criteria is a lot more stronger.

But I would say that all those narcissistic types that I've shared, they probably have common characteristics, but it depends on how one shows up more than the other.

But I would say that all those narcissistic types that I've shared, they probably have common characteristics, but it depends on how one shows up more than the other.

Yeah, well, I'll talk about the client that I brought up earlier. That's what prompted me to write the article that I wrote. OK, because I've been like I said, I've been working with him for quite some time and I didn't pick up on it at all. I was kind of kick. That's what prompted me to write the articles. I was like, dang, how did I miss? How did I miss this? It was like a revelation for myself.

Yeah, well, I'll talk about the client that I brought up earlier. That's what prompted me to write the article that I wrote. OK, because I've been like I said, I've been working with him for quite some time and I didn't pick up on it at all. I was kind of kick. That's what prompted me to write the articles. I was like, dang, how did I miss? How did I miss this? It was like a revelation for myself.

But so this individual is an entrepreneur. They're trying to build a tech app for kids who want to be like content creators. And so. This individual, they've been married once. It's a male. It's a male person, a heterosexual male. He has children in his first marriage. Then he got out of the marriage and had a child with another woman. So he has two sets of kids, pretty much.

But so this individual is an entrepreneur. They're trying to build a tech app for kids who want to be like content creators. And so. This individual, they've been married once. It's a male. It's a male person, a heterosexual male. He has children in his first marriage. Then he got out of the marriage and had a child with another woman. So he has two sets of kids, pretty much.

And he's had he he originally reached out to me because he was having issues with his oldest child, which is a son. Sons of preteen sons going through preteen stuff, you know, typical kid stuff. But he was really struggling with this kid's identity and his kid's development. So we worked on that. We worked on that. That was good.

And he's had he he originally reached out to me because he was having issues with his oldest child, which is a son. Sons of preteen sons going through preteen stuff, you know, typical kid stuff. But he was really struggling with this kid's identity and his kid's development. So we worked on that. We worked on that. That was good.

And he was like, you know, my business is not kicking off the way that I wanted to. So we started working on his business. So I do a little bit of leadership coaching as well. So we'll talk about that stuff. And he had this really, really estranged relationship with what essentially was a co-founder in the business, which is typical. Again, these things happen with co-founders.

And he was like, you know, my business is not kicking off the way that I wanted to. So we started working on his business. So I do a little bit of leadership coaching as well. So we'll talk about that stuff. And he had this really, really estranged relationship with what essentially was a co-founder in the business, which is typical. Again, these things happen with co-founders.

Relationships start, they end. This person takes half the business. The other person takes the other half. They move on. So I didn't think anything of it. So he's moving on with the business, and then he meets another woman. And when he met this woman, I'm like, wow, that sounds amazing. And not even four months into the relationship, it sounded like they've been together for 25 years.

Relationships start, they end. This person takes half the business. The other person takes the other half. They move on. So I didn't think anything of it. So he's moving on with the business, and then he meets another woman. And when he met this woman, I'm like, wow, that sounds amazing. And not even four months into the relationship, it sounded like they've been together for 25 years.

It was like all this just started to show up. And I'm just like, man, why are you going through all this? Like, just leave her like you don't know her that well. You just start dating her. What's going on? And so this is when I started to like get a start scratching my head and raising my eyebrow. Like what is going on with this guy, these relationships? And then finally it happened.

It was like all this just started to show up. And I'm just like, man, why are you going through all this? Like, just leave her like you don't know her that well. You just start dating her. What's going on? And so this is when I started to like get a start scratching my head and raising my eyebrow. Like what is going on with this guy, these relationships? And then finally it happened.

about three or four months ago. And again, I've been working with this man for about a year. He made some statements during our session that I was just like, wow. He just said, he started talking about how people are not smarter than him. And he said, you know, I am smarter than 99% of people that I meet. And I don't feel like I should have to dumb myself down to meet with those people.

about three or four months ago. And again, I've been working with this man for about a year. He made some statements during our session that I was just like, wow. He just said, he started talking about how people are not smarter than him. And he said, you know, I am smarter than 99% of people that I meet. And I don't feel like I should have to dumb myself down to meet with those people.

They should rise their level of intelligence to meet with me. And I was like, holy cow. What kind of statement is that? Like the arrogance in the statement is just very bold. Like I am smarter than everyone I've met.

They should rise their level of intelligence to meet with me. And I was like, holy cow. What kind of statement is that? Like the arrogance in the statement is just very bold. Like I am smarter than everyone I've met.

But the next level is what really was like, whoa, when he said they need to raise their level of intelligence to meet with me, I'm just like, man, he's probably had that thought process his whole life. And that's why he's run into these issues. He thinks he's smarter than everyone. Now, there's a good chance he could be. He could be great. He could have a genius IQ.

But the next level is what really was like, whoa, when he said they need to raise their level of intelligence to meet with me, I'm just like, man, he's probably had that thought process his whole life. And that's why he's run into these issues. He thinks he's smarter than everyone. Now, there's a good chance he could be. He could be great. He could have a genius IQ.

Because it is a problematic disorder. It is a problematic thing. But there are people who truly live with this diagnosis, and they try to not have these negative effects, but they live with a condition like any other mental health condition. It can be very difficult. To navigate.

Because it is a problematic disorder. It is a problematic thing. But there are people who truly live with this diagnosis, and they try to not have these negative effects, but they live with a condition like any other mental health condition. It can be very difficult. To navigate.

But in typical socialization behavior, we don't speak like that at all about anyone. We don't talk like that. And that's in common just culture that we have, that we're not taught to be overinflated with our egos that way as well. But he was really serious. It wasn't a joke. He was like, people are just dumb.

But in typical socialization behavior, we don't speak like that at all about anyone. We don't talk like that. And that's in common just culture that we have, that we're not taught to be overinflated with our egos that way as well. But he was really serious. It wasn't a joke. He was like, people are just dumb.

And then he was very frustrated because his half of the business that he took, it hasn't really taken off since the split happened. And he was like, I can't get this business started. I'm smart. I should be doing these things. And he had to do a self-reflection on his life and where he's at. He's had a couple failed relationships, a big blow-up, failed marriage.

And then he was very frustrated because his half of the business that he took, it hasn't really taken off since the split happened. And he was like, I can't get this business started. I'm smart. I should be doing these things. And he had to do a self-reflection on his life and where he's at. He's had a couple failed relationships, a big blow-up, failed marriage.

He's just run into a lot of just losses in life. And he felt like he should be in a better position than where he was at. And it got to the point of the session where I had to tell him to stop looking out the window and look in the mirror and say, hey, you are the common denominator here. Let's work on that. And he got really angry. Now, we only had like 10 minutes left of the session.

He's just run into a lot of just losses in life. And he felt like he should be in a better position than where he was at. And it got to the point of the session where I had to tell him to stop looking out the window and look in the mirror and say, hey, you are the common denominator here. Let's work on that. And he got really angry. Now, we only had like 10 minutes left of the session.

So we were able to kind of ease out of there without any issue. I mean, he was really angry. He sent me a nasty text message. I'm smarter than you. I should be coaching you. And so are we terminating our relationship here? He didn't want to do that. Right. He didn't want to terminate the relationship.

So we were able to kind of ease out of there without any issue. I mean, he was really angry. He sent me a nasty text message. I'm smarter than you. I should be coaching you. And so are we terminating our relationship here? He didn't want to do that. Right. He didn't want to terminate the relationship.

But he was stuck in that he's so good and so better than people, but that his world should be better. But it's not because, again, I had to take him from the window and put him in the mirror and say, hey, you are the common denominator here. We have to work on your things. And he just couldn't get that. Now, I still work with this individual, to be honest. we've taken a lot of deeper steps.

But he was stuck in that he's so good and so better than people, but that his world should be better. But it's not because, again, I had to take him from the window and put him in the mirror and say, hey, you are the common denominator here. We have to work on your things. And he just couldn't get that. Now, I still work with this individual, to be honest. we've taken a lot of deeper steps.

Our sessions are a lot more tense than they used to be. And this is why I've been increasing my knowledge around narcissism because that's what I, when I realized, I was like, he's a narcissist. Like that's what's going on here. Now I had better tools and a better approach to deal with some things.

Our sessions are a lot more tense than they used to be. And this is why I've been increasing my knowledge around narcissism because that's what I, when I realized, I was like, he's a narcissist. Like that's what's going on here. Now I had better tools and a better approach to deal with some things.

So it's starting to make a lot of sense for him, but it is a struggle because you're asking someone to change their personality almost 180 degrees, right? You're asking them to flip how they've always been to think differently than they've always thought. So for him, he feels like I'm trying to change him as a person, which I kind of am helping him do that.

So it's starting to make a lot of sense for him, but it is a struggle because you're asking someone to change their personality almost 180 degrees, right? You're asking them to flip how they've always been to think differently than they've always thought. So for him, he feels like I'm trying to change him as a person, which I kind of am helping him do that.

But really I have to get him to understand that the change happens within himself. It's not me. But again, the narcissistic brain goes to what, what you do to me, not what I do for me. So it's, it's that flip that has to take place.

But really I have to get him to understand that the change happens within himself. It's not me. But again, the narcissistic brain goes to what, what you do to me, not what I do for me. So it's, it's that flip that has to take place.

So I try to I try to, you know, keep some positivity in there because most people who are narcissists don't realize it until it's pointed out by a professional. And then they're like, oh, this makes a lot of sense. You know, this is why I've done the things that I've done or people have pointed things out to me. that I never realized.

So I try to I try to, you know, keep some positivity in there because most people who are narcissists don't realize it until it's pointed out by a professional. And then they're like, oh, this makes a lot of sense. You know, this is why I've done the things that I've done or people have pointed things out to me. that I never realized.

That's a good question. I don't know the answer. That might be in my next article. I'm going to have to go ahead and do some research. That's a good question. Yeah. I'm going to give you my gut response. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I would say that narcissists are probably omnivores. They probably possess a little bit of both. Okay.

That's a good question. I don't know the answer. That might be in my next article. I'm going to have to go ahead and do some research. That's a good question. Yeah. I'm going to give you my gut response. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I would say that narcissists are probably omnivores. They probably possess a little bit of both. Okay.

And they have to bring it in or take it out depending on their relationship dynamic. So think about this, right? You're a narcissist. You feed off of, typically, you feed off of that attention. That would make you more extroverted, right? Yeah. But that's an internal feed. So you're probably processing it in your head a lot. You're thinking about control.

And they have to bring it in or take it out depending on their relationship dynamic. So think about this, right? You're a narcissist. You feed off of, typically, you feed off of that attention. That would make you more extroverted, right? Yeah. But that's an internal feed. So you're probably processing it in your head a lot. You're thinking about control.

You're thinking about manipulation, things of that nature. I would assume that an introverted person would do a lot more of that. So I think that they probably have to turn it on and turn it off from time to time just to navigate, which to me, just as a person who's not narcissistic sounds exhausting. Exactly.

You're thinking about manipulation, things of that nature. I would assume that an introverted person would do a lot more of that. So I think that they probably have to turn it on and turn it off from time to time just to navigate, which to me, just as a person who's not narcissistic sounds exhausting. Exactly.

But, but, but I would assume that they probably are omnibus and depend on the dynamic. They have to, you know, rev it up or, you know, bring it down depending on what's happening. But you know what, I'm going to do some more research on that. Cause that's an amazing thing to think about right there.

But, but, but I would assume that they probably are omnibus and depend on the dynamic. They have to, you know, rev it up or, you know, bring it down depending on what's happening. But you know what, I'm going to do some more research on that. Cause that's an amazing thing to think about right there.

Yeah, I would say the levels of anxiety, there's definitely medication given for that. I don't know about depressive symptoms or anything, but more the anxiety that comes around narcissism is pretty high. Yeah, I haven't even dove too deep into the medication portion of the disorder. But I do know that the anxiety is pretty high. Narcissistic people are very vulnerable to depressive symptoms.

Yeah, I would say the levels of anxiety, there's definitely medication given for that. I don't know about depressive symptoms or anything, but more the anxiety that comes around narcissism is pretty high. Yeah, I haven't even dove too deep into the medication portion of the disorder. But I do know that the anxiety is pretty high. Narcissistic people are very vulnerable to depressive symptoms.

Despite the facade of being very confident individuals, again, their self-esteem is very fragile. So that makes them more susceptible to having high levels of anxiety, being these social beings. And then also depressing too. Sometimes depression doesn't just look like people who can't get out of bed. Sometimes they're still functional, depressive people.

Despite the facade of being very confident individuals, again, their self-esteem is very fragile. So that makes them more susceptible to having high levels of anxiety, being these social beings. And then also depressing too. Sometimes depression doesn't just look like people who can't get out of bed. Sometimes they're still functional, depressive people.

But I think one of the key things is a lot of narcissist people are very successful. A lot of them find themselves in leadership positions. A lot of them find themselves in fields where they can succeed or they find themselves to the top. That's a positive aspect. And if they can control and navigate their emotions, their narcissism can lead to a very successful life.

But I think one of the key things is a lot of narcissist people are very successful. A lot of them find themselves in leadership positions. A lot of them find themselves in fields where they can succeed or they find themselves to the top. That's a positive aspect. And if they can control and navigate their emotions, their narcissism can lead to a very successful life.

but they feel so down internally that they can still, it's almost like a functional alcoholic, like you can still show up, but you're internally, you're just struggling so much. So I would assume that narcissists, uh, more anxiety than depression, but depression, uh, depressive, uh, medications as well.

but they feel so down internally that they can still, it's almost like a functional alcoholic, like you can still show up, but you're internally, you're just struggling so much. So I would assume that narcissists, uh, more anxiety than depression, but depression, uh, depressive, uh, medications as well.

Yeah, absolutely. I would say that narcissists are among you. Not that you should be in fear or hiding or that they're hiding in bushes or anything. But there are real people who live with this disorder. They have families. They work. They may be your doctor. They may be the person you meet at the grocery store. They may be your neighbor. They may be your partner.

Yeah, absolutely. I would say that narcissists are among you. Not that you should be in fear or hiding or that they're hiding in bushes or anything. But there are real people who live with this disorder. They have families. They work. They may be your doctor. They may be the person you meet at the grocery store. They may be your neighbor. They may be your partner.

There are people who live with this disorder. And I would say that there's a good chance that most narcissists that are out there have not been clinically diagnosed. So they might not know.

There are people who live with this disorder. And I would say that there's a good chance that most narcissists that are out there have not been clinically diagnosed. So they might not know.

And so what I would encourage community to do is if you do have any curiosity about somebody and if you have a relationship with them that's healthy, make a suggestion that they should go ahead and see a mental health provider. If you don't have a good relationship, you don't have that rapport built, I don't recommend making those suggestions.

And so what I would encourage community to do is if you do have any curiosity about somebody and if you have a relationship with them that's healthy, make a suggestion that they should go ahead and see a mental health provider. If you don't have a good relationship, you don't have that rapport built, I don't recommend making those suggestions.

It might start a conflict that you don't need in your life. But I do think that's healthy to do. Please, please, please, please stay away from diagnosing people that you know. We do this very well. Narcissism is one of those personality disorders that comes up a lot. Oh, you're a narcissist. When people get into conflict, they go into that kind of...

It might start a conflict that you don't need in your life. But I do think that's healthy to do. Please, please, please, please stay away from diagnosing people that you know. We do this very well. Narcissism is one of those personality disorders that comes up a lot. Oh, you're a narcissist. When people get into conflict, they go into that kind of...

Name calling it narcissism is one of those big ones. Bipolar is another one that comes up a lot. Don't do that because what can happen is a couple of things. One, you can just bring drama and conflict to your life that you don't need. Two, the individual that you're referring to may start going on what we call one of those self-diagnosis kind of rabbit holes where they're on, you know, they're on.

Name calling it narcissism is one of those big ones. Bipolar is another one that comes up a lot. Don't do that because what can happen is a couple of things. One, you can just bring drama and conflict to your life that you don't need. Two, the individual that you're referring to may start going on what we call one of those self-diagnosis kind of rabbit holes where they're on, you know, they're on.

They're on MedEd, they're on the internet, they're Googling things and they start to really believe that they have these things without professionally getting assessed. So you want to make sure that you're not influencing someone self-diagnosing themselves. And then I would say if you're an individual who has a Curiosity that you may be narcissists.

They're on MedEd, they're on the internet, they're Googling things and they start to really believe that they have these things without professionally getting assessed. So you want to make sure that you're not influencing someone self-diagnosing themselves. And then I would say if you're an individual who has a Curiosity that you may be narcissists.

In my professional career, clinically, I know for sure that I have been a therapist for four narcissists. They all were people here in the state of Minnesota. They all worked for good companies or some of the Fortune 500s that we have here. And they all were in leadership positions.

In my professional career, clinically, I know for sure that I have been a therapist for four narcissists. They all were people here in the state of Minnesota. They all worked for good companies or some of the Fortune 500s that we have here. And they all were in leadership positions.

Don't be afraid to check out some information and find someone that you can talk to professionally to figure it out. Because if you do have any of the symptoms, any of the symptoms, there is help out there for you to live your life. It's one of those things that it's part of your personality. You have it. Yes, it's a mental health disorder, but it's not something that's fatal.

Don't be afraid to check out some information and find someone that you can talk to professionally to figure it out. Because if you do have any of the symptoms, any of the symptoms, there is help out there for you to live your life. It's one of those things that it's part of your personality. You have it. Yes, it's a mental health disorder, but it's not something that's fatal.

It's something that you can live with and have a healthy life, but you're going to need some tools and some skills to just navigate the world around you. I think, like I said, I started off our conversation saying that, hey, narcissism can have some positive spins, but you got to do a lot of work. Otherwise, you're going to find yourself being pretty socially isolated.

It's something that you can live with and have a healthy life, but you're going to need some tools and some skills to just navigate the world around you. I think, like I said, I started off our conversation saying that, hey, narcissism can have some positive spins, but you got to do a lot of work. Otherwise, you're going to find yourself being pretty socially isolated.

And in a society that we live in today, we know that social isolation is the healthiest thing for individuals. So we want to try to make sure that you're maintaining healthy relationships if you can. So that's what I would tell community.

And in a society that we live in today, we know that social isolation is the healthiest thing for individuals. So we want to try to make sure that you're maintaining healthy relationships if you can. So that's what I would tell community.

I would also say that we haven't talked about this, but there may be some cultural ethnic cultural factors as well that play a huge role in how we identify narcissists. I think that there are some cultures that have no concept for what narcissism is. They're just like they don't because they don't think about mental health like that. They just don't.

I would also say that we haven't talked about this, but there may be some cultural ethnic cultural factors as well that play a huge role in how we identify narcissists. I think that there are some cultures that have no concept for what narcissism is. They're just like they don't because they don't think about mental health like that. They just don't.

And for those folks who are part of those cultural groups who have either a limited worldview on mental health, I would encourage those folks if they live in the U.S. to start understanding what narcissism is and see if there's any elements of that within your cultural dynamic.

And for those folks who are part of those cultural groups who have either a limited worldview on mental health, I would encourage those folks if they live in the U.S. to start understanding what narcissism is and see if there's any elements of that within your cultural dynamic.

And then for folks who are a little bit more engaged in mental health from a cultural standpoint, figure out how your culture has normalized or dealt with, is one of the other ways to say that, narcissism. So for example, I'm Black, I'm an African-American person. I know for sure we don't talk about narcissists in our community. We talk about people being crazy.

And then for folks who are a little bit more engaged in mental health from a cultural standpoint, figure out how your culture has normalized or dealt with, is one of the other ways to say that, narcissism. So for example, I'm Black, I'm an African-American person. I know for sure we don't talk about narcissists in our community. We talk about people being crazy.

So we use a word to cover all mental health diagnosis. But there may have been people in our community that have been narcissists that we've known, but we've just said that person was quote unquote crazy. So we've minimized the disorder and we've kind of accepted the behavior and we just gave them a cover all label without truly understanding what that individual was struggling with.

So we use a word to cover all mental health diagnosis. But there may have been people in our community that have been narcissists that we've known, but we've just said that person was quote unquote crazy. So we've minimized the disorder and we've kind of accepted the behavior and we just gave them a cover all label without truly understanding what that individual was struggling with.

You know, one person that comes to mind, and this is not an African-American person, but he had a huge impact on the African-American community, is Jim Jones back in the 70s. So Jim Jones, for folks who are not familiar, he was a cult leader. Let's just be clear. But Jim Jones had a huge influence on the African-American community in the Oakland, California area.

You know, one person that comes to mind, and this is not an African-American person, but he had a huge impact on the African-American community, is Jim Jones back in the 70s. So Jim Jones, for folks who are not familiar, he was a cult leader. Let's just be clear. But Jim Jones had a huge influence on the African-American community in the Oakland, California area.

He got these folks to even leave the country. And ultimately what ended up happening is a fatal ending where hundreds of people lost their lives. And this is where we get the kind of the joke in the community of don't drink the Kool-Aid is it comes from the Jim Jones situation where many people lost their lives down in South America. They were poisoned after the feds were raiding America.

He got these folks to even leave the country. And ultimately what ended up happening is a fatal ending where hundreds of people lost their lives. And this is where we get the kind of the joke in the community of don't drink the Kool-Aid is it comes from the Jim Jones situation where many people lost their lives down in South America. They were poisoned after the feds were raiding America.

And recently I wrote an article talking about how narcissism shows up in leadership because I'm currently doing coaching, leadership coaching. And we stumbled upon this, but one of my current clients, I'm pretty sure he has a narcissistic personality disorder.

And recently I wrote an article talking about how narcissism shows up in leadership because I'm currently doing coaching, leadership coaching. And we stumbled upon this, but one of my current clients, I'm pretty sure he has a narcissistic personality disorder.

The compound that all these folks relocated to. So it's important for us to identify again culturally how we've adjusted to mental health disorders and how we understand things like narcissism so that we don't just give it a cover all label and we really understand how people are living their lives and how we are adjusting to those folks.

The compound that all these folks relocated to. So it's important for us to identify again culturally how we've adjusted to mental health disorders and how we understand things like narcissism so that we don't just give it a cover all label and we really understand how people are living their lives and how we are adjusting to those folks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I had to, I had to quickly pull up the criteria here. So I didn't forget what it was, but I would say that it's very common for individuals to have moments where we meet one or two of the criteria for narcissism.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I had to, I had to quickly pull up the criteria here. So I didn't forget what it was, but I would say that it's very common for individuals to have moments where we meet one or two of the criteria for narcissism.

So again, this is why I don't want people to self-diagnose themselves because you'll go down a rabbit hole and be like, Oh my God, I've been narcissistic my whole life. But again, You have to meet nine criteria to officially have this diagnosis. Okay. Through human behavior, you may have four of these things just because of who you are. And that's okay.

So again, this is why I don't want people to self-diagnose themselves because you'll go down a rabbit hole and be like, Oh my God, I've been narcissistic my whole life. But again, You have to meet nine criteria to officially have this diagnosis. Okay. Through human behavior, you may have four of these things just because of who you are. And that's okay.

But again, you have to have a grandiose sense of self-importance. You have to fantasize of the unlimited success, power, billions, beauty, and ideal love. Now, that's where my client came in. When I heard that, I was like, whoa. You have to believe in being special or unique and can only be understood by or should be associated with other special or unique or high status people. Again, my client.

But again, you have to have a grandiose sense of self-importance. You have to fantasize of the unlimited success, power, billions, beauty, and ideal love. Now, that's where my client came in. When I heard that, I was like, whoa. You have to believe in being special or unique and can only be understood by or should be associated with other special or unique or high status people. Again, my client.

It requires excessive admiration. I am me. You should pay attention to me. You have to have a sense of entitlement, unreasonable explanation of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations. You have to have interpersonal exploitative. So you take advantage of others to achieve your own ends. You have to have a lack of empathy.

It requires excessive admiration. I am me. You should pay attention to me. You have to have a sense of entitlement, unreasonable explanation of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations. You have to have interpersonal exploitative. So you take advantage of others to achieve your own ends. You have to have a lack of empathy.

So I encouraged him to go ahead and I didn't make a referral, but I encouraged him to go ahead and talk to a therapist and get a diagnostic assessment because he may be having some issues that he's not aware of. Now, this is a really nice guy. He's nice. You know, he talks very highly of his friends and his family members, but it's all about him. His level of empathy is so low.

So I encouraged him to go ahead and I didn't make a referral, but I encouraged him to go ahead and talk to a therapist and get a diagnostic assessment because he may be having some issues that he's not aware of. Now, this is a really nice guy. He's nice. You know, he talks very highly of his friends and his family members, but it's all about him. His level of empathy is so low.

Um, you have to have a belief that other people are envious of you or have a level of envy of other people. And then you have to have a level, a high level of arrogance or what they call halting behaviors or attitudes. You have to meet all nine of those in order to be diagnosed. So yes, well, we have moments where we're celebrating.

Um, you have to have a belief that other people are envious of you or have a level of envy of other people. And then you have to have a level, a high level of arrogance or what they call halting behaviors or attitudes. You have to meet all nine of those in order to be diagnosed. So yes, well, we have moments where we're celebrating.

You may be, you know, at my, at my children's school, they always have student of the month. My kid's probably the most arrogant kid in second grade when she's the student of the That's okay. But if my kid thinks that she's going to be student of the month every month, all the kids in second grade are slow or dumb or whatever term that these kids are using.

You may be, you know, at my, at my children's school, they always have student of the month. My kid's probably the most arrogant kid in second grade when she's the student of the That's okay. But if my kid thinks that she's going to be student of the month every month, all the kids in second grade are slow or dumb or whatever term that these kids are using.

That's different, right? If she's like, you know, I don't care about these other kids. I'm the best student. Or she starts to build a bond with her teacher where she's like, no, only I can answer the questions in class. Now we're looking at this kid like, okay, we're developing something here that probably shouldn't be going on. That's what we're looking for. So yes, we have moments. Absolutely.

That's different, right? If she's like, you know, I don't care about these other kids. I'm the best student. Or she starts to build a bond with her teacher where she's like, no, only I can answer the questions in class. Now we're looking at this kid like, okay, we're developing something here that probably shouldn't be going on. That's what we're looking for. So yes, we have moments. Absolutely.

But that does not necessarily mean that we are narcissists.

But that does not necessarily mean that we are narcissists.

Absolutely. Love to talk about anything you want me to bring on. There's so many different topics, so many things to talk about. Anytime you want me, I'm here.

Absolutely. Love to talk about anything you want me to bring on. There's so many different topics, so many things to talk about. Anytime you want me, I'm here.

All right. Sounds good. That's my challenge for the next 30 to 40 days. Put together, do some research and put together a piece.

All right. Sounds good. That's my challenge for the next 30 to 40 days. Put together, do some research and put together a piece.

And we stumbled upon this because he's been having some conflicts lately. He's noticed a pattern that he's an entrepreneur and he noticed a pattern that when he's trying to work collaboratively with individuals, the contracts never reached their fulfillment.

And we stumbled upon this because he's been having some conflicts lately. He's noticed a pattern that he's an entrepreneur and he noticed a pattern that when he's trying to work collaboratively with individuals, the contracts never reached their fulfillment.

And what I was what I and I picked this up because I've been working with them now for about a year and I'm like, man, there's something going on here. I didn't think I didn't think of narcissism at first. So I started to ask him about what's happening in these relationships. And it gets to this point of contention where he's worried about how that person's work is going to make him look good.

And what I was what I and I picked this up because I've been working with them now for about a year and I'm like, man, there's something going on here. I didn't think I didn't think of narcissism at first. So I started to ask him about what's happening in these relationships. And it gets to this point of contention where he's worried about how that person's work is going to make him look good.

And that's that fragile self-esteem piece that comes in. So, you know, it's one of those things that, you know, most people don't realize until it just kind of pops up. But again, these folks, they can be high motivators. These folks can, like I said, they can learn skills very well. They can succeed socially, especially in the paradigm that we live in today.

And that's that fragile self-esteem piece that comes in. So, you know, it's one of those things that, you know, most people don't realize until it just kind of pops up. But again, these folks, they can be high motivators. These folks can, like I said, they can learn skills very well. They can succeed socially, especially in the paradigm that we live in today.

But their relationship, their personality skills are very self-centered. And that doesn't always work in our humanistic society that we live in today.

But their relationship, their personality skills are very self-centered. And that doesn't always work in our humanistic society that we live in today.

Absolutely. Well, well, from what we know, narcissism develops kind of three factors play a role. You have environmental factors. So, you know, the parent child dynamic, either there's too much, you know, attachment, too much adortion of a child or there's too little. There's a lot of criticism. There's a lot of. You know, corrective action that happens for a child.

Absolutely. Well, well, from what we know, narcissism develops kind of three factors play a role. You have environmental factors. So, you know, the parent child dynamic, either there's too much, you know, attachment, too much adortion of a child or there's too little. There's a lot of criticism. There's a lot of. You know, corrective action that happens for a child.

So they're on one end or the other of these extremes of parenting. And then as a child's going through their developmental stages, they're starting to make up ideas through their worldview because of how the parents treat them. So the overabundance of love or not enough love, but just not right in the middle. So that's one element that has been associated with narcissism through research.

So they're on one end or the other of these extremes of parenting. And then as a child's going through their developmental stages, they're starting to make up ideas through their worldview because of how the parents treat them. So the overabundance of love or not enough love, but just not right in the middle. So that's one element that has been associated with narcissism through research.

The other is genetics. So inherited characteristics such as just various different personality traits. So sometimes you can have some of these things passed on. Now, one would say that there's an interplay between the genetics and environment. So if your parent possesses these things, chances are they're going to parent with that personality type and you're going to pick up those things as well.

The other is genetics. So inherited characteristics such as just various different personality traits. So sometimes you can have some of these things passed on. Now, one would say that there's an interplay between the genetics and environment. So if your parent possesses these things, chances are they're going to parent with that personality type and you're going to pick up those things as well.

But there's also been some more science and research that has associated itself with the neurobiology, which is just connecting the brain to the behaviors and thinking. So a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is one of the key tools that's utilized in therapy for folks who are narcissistic.

But there's also been some more science and research that has associated itself with the neurobiology, which is just connecting the brain to the behaviors and thinking. So a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is one of the key tools that's utilized in therapy for folks who are narcissistic.

So narcissism has this kind of complex interplay between genetics, environment, and psychological factors.

So narcissism has this kind of complex interplay between genetics, environment, and psychological factors.

They can be, absolutely.

They can be, absolutely.

I would say, I would actually answer that question in the reverse. Most narcissistic people are power hungry.

I would say, I would actually answer that question in the reverse. Most narcissistic people are power hungry.

Because you can be power hungry and not necessarily be a narcissist, but you might like that control or you might just seize an opportunity. But if you are narcissistic, you're definitely power hungry. You're trying to find a way to not just control everything, but be that center of attention, be the top of the mountain. That's one of the main drives for a narcissistic person.

Because you can be power hungry and not necessarily be a narcissist, but you might like that control or you might just seize an opportunity. But if you are narcissistic, you're definitely power hungry. You're trying to find a way to not just control everything, but be that center of attention, be the top of the mountain. That's one of the main drives for a narcissistic person.

Yeah. I'm not going to name any names, but I think through history, we've seen tons of politicians who would fit the diagnosis criteria for narcissism. I would say politicians, coaches... CEOs in general, just people who lead business, sometimes even entrepreneurs. Any position that gives you a built in level of authority or assertiveness, I think, is a good fit for narcissists.

Yeah. I'm not going to name any names, but I think through history, we've seen tons of politicians who would fit the diagnosis criteria for narcissism. I would say politicians, coaches... CEOs in general, just people who lead business, sometimes even entrepreneurs. Any position that gives you a built in level of authority or assertiveness, I think, is a good fit for narcissists.

I've even seen them in positions like dentists. Like one of my clients was a dentist, a very well-known dentist here in the Twin Cities area. I guess I had a few people who worked in like, I'm not going to name any companies, but they worked in some of the larger companies that we have here. One was in medical, one was in a tech field. Uh, the other one worked for a big, uh, store department.

I've even seen them in positions like dentists. Like one of my clients was a dentist, a very well-known dentist here in the Twin Cities area. I guess I had a few people who worked in like, I'm not going to name any companies, but they worked in some of the larger companies that we have here. One was in medical, one was in a tech field. Uh, the other one worked for a big, uh, store department.

So you have these folks who, who they're, they find themselves in leadership positions. Uh, Believe it or not, you may even find a lot of narcissists in religious sectors as well. People who certainly the lead clergy and things of that nature. You wouldn't think it because, you know, they're usually using whatever the higher power is.

So you have these folks who, who they're, they find themselves in leadership positions. Uh, Believe it or not, you may even find a lot of narcissists in religious sectors as well. People who certainly the lead clergy and things of that nature. You wouldn't think it because, you know, they're usually using whatever the higher power is.

But there's a level of that authority being the lead person within this spiritual realm, being the connection to you and the clergy and the higher power. You'll find folks who are also in the religious sector as well as narcissists.

But there's a level of that authority being the lead person within this spiritual realm, being the connection to you and the clergy and the higher power. You'll find folks who are also in the religious sector as well as narcissists.

Yeah, it's more the latter. That people come with particular issues and then we kind of stumble upon the narcissism as we kind of break down or filter through what is happening. Some people have been told, you know, narcissism has gained a lot of popularity due to the internet. I would say over the last maybe 10 years, there's some very popular YouTubers who talk about narcissism.

Yeah, it's more the latter. That people come with particular issues and then we kind of stumble upon the narcissism as we kind of break down or filter through what is happening. Some people have been told, you know, narcissism has gained a lot of popularity due to the internet. I would say over the last maybe 10 years, there's some very popular YouTubers who talk about narcissism.

There's a lot of folks on TikTok that talk about it, even folks who have the diagnosis themselves on TikTok talking about their experience. But the field that has highlighted this the most has been the divorce field. So there's a lot of divorce lawyers and people who've gone through the divorce who talk about their narcissistic exes. Which is a very interesting dynamic.

There's a lot of folks on TikTok that talk about it, even folks who have the diagnosis themselves on TikTok talking about their experience. But the field that has highlighted this the most has been the divorce field. So there's a lot of divorce lawyers and people who've gone through the divorce who talk about their narcissistic exes. Which is a very interesting dynamic.

So the heightened awareness has brought more of what you said, where people are coming in with the curiosity, like, hey, I think I'm narcissistic. And here's why. Because the awareness around the diagnosis has increased due to technology, due to social media. Yeah.

So the heightened awareness has brought more of what you said, where people are coming in with the curiosity, like, hey, I think I'm narcissistic. And here's why. Because the awareness around the diagnosis has increased due to technology, due to social media. Yeah.

But most people, then this is what I've encountered or what I've heard from other clinicians that I've worked with, most folks who do have the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, these are folks who realize that there's something that's not going quite well with their relationships.

But most people, then this is what I've encountered or what I've heard from other clinicians that I've worked with, most folks who do have the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, these are folks who realize that there's something that's not going quite well with their relationships.

They're noticing these breakdowns and it's getting to a point, this is how interesting this diagnosis is, it gets to the point where it's starting to impact their narcissism. They're wondering why aren't these people doing the things that I want or they're not supporting me or I don't have this image that I expect to have. And that's what's going to lead me to figure out what's wrong.

They're noticing these breakdowns and it's getting to a point, this is how interesting this diagnosis is, it gets to the point where it's starting to impact their narcissism. They're wondering why aren't these people doing the things that I want or they're not supporting me or I don't have this image that I expect to have. And that's what's going to lead me to figure out what's wrong.

Not necessarily what's wrong with me. What's wrong with these people around me? So it can be their children. You hear a lot about their children, their partners, parents, family members, things like that. But typically that's how people kind of get the idea who have this disorder, get the idea that maybe I should go talk to someone.

Not necessarily what's wrong with me. What's wrong with these people around me? So it can be their children. You hear a lot about their children, their partners, parents, family members, things like that. But typically that's how people kind of get the idea who have this disorder, get the idea that maybe I should go talk to someone.

Absolutely. So, you know, of course, just like any other strain you have in your life, you have to look at your physical health and your mental slash emotional health as well. A lot of people who find themselves in relationship dynamics with narcissism, they start to have high stress related issues, high levels of high blood pressure, They might often develop other stress-related health concerns.

Absolutely. So, you know, of course, just like any other strain you have in your life, you have to look at your physical health and your mental slash emotional health as well. A lot of people who find themselves in relationship dynamics with narcissism, they start to have high stress related issues, high levels of high blood pressure, They might often develop other stress-related health concerns.

Lifestyle factor becomes a problem as well, where you may disengage from social events or social clubs or things that you're supposed to be attached to because you don't want your partner to show up or you want to neglect being around them. Substance use may even increase because you're trying to figure out ways to cope with some of the strain that's happening within the household.

Lifestyle factor becomes a problem as well, where you may disengage from social events or social clubs or things that you're supposed to be attached to because you don't want your partner to show up or you want to neglect being around them. Substance use may even increase because you're trying to figure out ways to cope with some of the strain that's happening within the household.

And then something that often doesn't get talked about but happens with many people is you start to neglect your health, right? You start to not pay attention to some of the things that are going on.

And then something that often doesn't get talked about but happens with many people is you start to neglect your health, right? You start to not pay attention to some of the things that are going on.

You start minimizing how you feel because you don't want to highlight what's going on with you because due to the narcissistic kind of bond that's created, you want to keep the attention on that individual instead of on yourself. So that they're not, you know, they're not abusing you in any way. So that's one thing that definitely can happen.

You start minimizing how you feel because you don't want to highlight what's going on with you because due to the narcissistic kind of bond that's created, you want to keep the attention on that individual instead of on yourself. So that they're not, you know, they're not abusing you in any way. So that's one thing that definitely can happen.

And then, of course, I think there's mental and emotional health issues as well. Relationship strain. You may be getting put down. You know, one thing that narcissists do a lot in relationships is they have these different types of mechanisms that they utilize in their dynamic to kind of...

And then, of course, I think there's mental and emotional health issues as well. Relationship strain. You may be getting put down. You know, one thing that narcissists do a lot in relationships is they have these different types of mechanisms that they utilize in their dynamic to kind of...

control their partners and this is something that you see with a lot in the divorce they talk a lot about this where they might use a lot of put downs or they might you know re-bring up an issue that happens uh in the past where they like you know you you failed me at that time or you you left me you should never do those types of things so they like to hone on that vulnerability which can lead to depressive and anxiety symptoms as well um sometimes people have issues with their own empathy

control their partners and this is something that you see with a lot in the divorce they talk a lot about this where they might use a lot of put downs or they might you know re-bring up an issue that happens uh in the past where they like you know you you failed me at that time or you you left me you should never do those types of things so they like to hone on that vulnerability which can lead to depressive and anxiety symptoms as well um sometimes people have issues with their own empathy

You know, they they've they have so much of a lack of empathy that's been brought to them that they don't necessarily bring anything that they don't they don't have a lot to bring forth because they're like, hey, you're not showing empathy towards me. Why should I show any towards you? So, yeah, there's a lot of things.

You know, they they've they have so much of a lack of empathy that's been brought to them that they don't necessarily bring anything that they don't they don't have a lot to bring forth because they're like, hey, you're not showing empathy towards me. Why should I show any towards you? So, yeah, there's a lot of things.

Defensiveness and aggressive behaviors also can show up in narcissistic relationships as well.

Defensiveness and aggressive behaviors also can show up in narcissistic relationships as well.