Debbie Millman
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Hello, Cara.
The secret's out.
Kara, I think that you might enjoy this first question.
Sure, I might.
You might, given the conversation we were having backstage about cars.
Is it true you have a special affinity for the Ford Fiesta?
When your dad was 34 years old, he died from complications of a brain aneurysm.
He was fresh out of the Navy.
He had three kids.
He and your mom had purchased their first house.
He had landed a job as the head of anesthesia at Brooklyn Jewish Hospital.
You were five years old.
And have said that his sudden death has informed everything you've done since.
And I'm wondering in what way.
I don't like hard pants.
I hate hard pants.
They're terrible.
You know, it's really funny because I was thinking I was going to put on, like, heels and the whole thing.
Yeah, and then forget.
And I was like, I think Kara prefers the more casual.
My mom would approve.
You know, the shoes.
Not really.
But I actually wore these for you.
Oh, thank you.
So women dress for each other.
That's what we do, right?
And I love them.
Well, I think you should share with Karen, the audience, the conversation you had with your mom last night.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
Well, Susan brought up the book, so you might as well.
You know that podcast idea you had?
I actually think it would be better for your mothers to do it together.
Speaking of mothers, Cara, I understand that you knew you were gay when you were four years old.
Four years old.
Bravo, by the way.
Thank you.
But didn't come out to your mom.
I dabbled pre-50.
I call it dabbling.
I dabbled.
But yeah, I mean, you and I are the same age, so I think you know how...
it was sometimes scary to... No.
For me, it was scary.
And I grew up in a somewhat homophobic environment.
Yeah, me too.
Yes, I know.
When you told your mother, she told you... Well, you said that you told her in a spectacular way over the phone.
Yes, I did.
I want to know what that spectacular way was.
But at that point, she told you she would never speak to you again and then wouldn't stop speaking to you for the rest of your life.
Yeah, this is a lot.
What is this, therapy?
In addition to running the playground, I understand you were the sort of headmaster of the playground.
Yes, I was.
Once in elementary school, you were assigned some reading in class.
And then you stood up and declared, I've already read this and I'm bored, so I'm leaving.
That is correct.
Which you did.
Yes, I did.
You've always been this version of Kara Swisher.
Yes, exactly.
This is who you are.
Well, I know that you did want to work in the CIA.
Yes, I did.
And in fact, you declared that you would have been as good as Claire Danes in Homeland.
But with 100% less mental illness.
As charming as that was.
Was being gay the only thing that stopped you from applying?
Just like, seriously.
I wonder how much it would have been worth.
When you first started as a journalist, you immediately started covering the internet.
Yes, I did.
But when you started doing that, you really felt that.
So what gave you the sense?
I mean, there were a lot of journalists at the time that thought the internet was a Ponzi scheme.
You understood the transition between the telegraph and radio and television.
What gave you that certainty that it was going to end up being what it ended up being?
Yeah, you are.
That's scary.
It's like, give me a great boy.
Where do you see the future of social media going?
Well, it's only going to be possible for people to sue if they have the money to be able to sue.
For the people that don't.
Yeah, that's what they help for.
This is a question that Roxanne was going to ask you, but it was a little bit further down in the interview.
And I think it's an appropriate time to ask it.
So if you don't mind, Roxanne, I'm going to just go for it.
In many interviews, you speak openly about money, which is rare, particularly for women.
And you've said you know your worth.
How do you determine what you're worth?
Now, do you think it's because historically we've just made less than men or is it because we just value ourselves less?
Quite a long time ago, I interviewed a designer and we were talking about money and he said no matter what he's offered, he always asks for more.
And he always goes back and says no matter what, even if it's a great offer.
Is there any more you can get?
And he always gets more.
Always gets more.
And I've told that to designers ever since.
Like, this is something he does.
I'm doing that right now.
Well, he always says, just a little.
What year was it?
Money, you like money?
Have you ever made a bad money decision or money decisions that you've regretted?
You actually said disturbingly wealthy.
Well, didn't you get the house from the money that you got from your grandfather?
Same thing.
But that's why I think you didn't take those jobs because I do think, I mean, I don't want to
I liked what I was doing.
I mean, it just seems like there's a lot more integrity in what you were doing.
It wasn't an anti-thing.
Am I right in thinking that during your interview with the astrologist, Chani Nicholas, you said you wanted seven children?
This is going in places I never expected.
Neither would I. I bought it for cheap.
We've discussed this on a podcast that I have done.
All right, let's talk about your memoir before we open.
But again, you can have the sperm if you want it.
You all heard it here first.
Anything can and will happen in live radio.
Did you just say TikTok?
In March 24?
March, yeah.
Well, once the book is out, I'd love to talk to you more about it and have another conversation.
You'll like it.
Kara Swisher.
Roxanne Gay.
Deborah Millman.
Carol Swisher.
Thank you so much for making so much work that matters.
And thank you for joining us tonight on Design Matters.
And remember, we can talk about making a difference, we can make a difference, or we can do both.
I'm Debbie Millman, and I look forward to talking with you again soon.