Dr. Anthony Bean

We only have one iPad and two kids. And so they have 25 minutes on it, and then it's 25 minutes for the next person and vice versa. So they have to keep on switching tasks on what they're doing. So it's not just a continuous reinforcement of one thing over another.

Um, when we see this in, in, uh, supermarkets, restaurants, all that type of thing, what parents are doing, they're just, um, reinforcing something that they're gonna have a lot harder time with it later on. Um, our kids, I've, I've been down in, uh, I don't know if people are gonna know what sprouts is. Um, but sprouts, you, you from California, you're gonna know what sprouts is. Um, and, um,

Um, when we see this in, in, uh, supermarkets, restaurants, all that type of thing, what parents are doing, they're just, um, reinforcing something that they're gonna have a lot harder time with it later on. Um, our kids, I've, I've been down in, uh, I don't know if people are gonna know what sprouts is. Um, but sprouts, you, you from California, you're gonna know what sprouts is. Um, and, um,

Um, when we see this in, in, uh, supermarkets, restaurants, all that type of thing, what parents are doing, they're just, um, reinforcing something that they're gonna have a lot harder time with it later on. Um, our kids, I've, I've been down in, uh, I don't know if people are gonna know what sprouts is. Um, but sprouts, you, you from California, you're gonna know what sprouts is. Um, and, um,

I've had my son like have a hard time because we didn't get the graham crackers that he wanted one time. And he just sat down on the ground and started tantruming. And I'm like, this is fine. We're allowed to tantrum. We're allowed to have this experience and this feeling of not getting what you want. But I'm going to get down there with you.

I've had my son like have a hard time because we didn't get the graham crackers that he wanted one time. And he just sat down on the ground and started tantruming. And I'm like, this is fine. We're allowed to tantrum. We're allowed to have this experience and this feeling of not getting what you want. But I'm going to get down there with you.

I've had my son like have a hard time because we didn't get the graham crackers that he wanted one time. And he just sat down on the ground and started tantruming. And I'm like, this is fine. We're allowed to tantrum. We're allowed to have this experience and this feeling of not getting what you want. But I'm going to get down there with you.

And I went and sat on the floor with him and he didn't want anything to do with me. for the longest time, and by longest time, to me, it felt like eternity.

And I went and sat on the floor with him and he didn't want anything to do with me. for the longest time, and by longest time, to me, it felt like eternity.

And I went and sat on the floor with him and he didn't want anything to do with me. for the longest time, and by longest time, to me, it felt like eternity.

Like, I'm just sitting here, I'm holding the tension for a tantruming four-year-old in the middle of sprouts, and then what eventually happens is the kid notices that you're down there with them and you're not shaming, you're not doing anything bad, you're not doing anything that should be... be able to be seen as reinforcing not just the behavior, but also giving in.

Like, I'm just sitting here, I'm holding the tension for a tantruming four-year-old in the middle of sprouts, and then what eventually happens is the kid notices that you're down there with them and you're not shaming, you're not doing anything bad, you're not doing anything that should be... be able to be seen as reinforcing not just the behavior, but also giving in.

Like, I'm just sitting here, I'm holding the tension for a tantruming four-year-old in the middle of sprouts, and then what eventually happens is the kid notices that you're down there with them and you're not shaming, you're not doing anything bad, you're not doing anything that should be... be able to be seen as reinforcing not just the behavior, but also giving in.

You're having what we call authoritative boundary, and they come into your lap, and they start to regulate themselves. And that's what we do. And we're like, look, we can get this next time, or we can try to do this a little bit later. But we have enough right here. Why don't we try to do this aspect first, and then we'll come back to this next time we're here.

You're having what we call authoritative boundary, and they come into your lap, and they start to regulate themselves. And that's what we do. And we're like, look, we can get this next time, or we can try to do this a little bit later. But we have enough right here. Why don't we try to do this aspect first, and then we'll come back to this next time we're here.

You're having what we call authoritative boundary, and they come into your lap, and they start to regulate themselves. And that's what we do. And we're like, look, we can get this next time, or we can try to do this a little bit later. But we have enough right here. Why don't we try to do this aspect first, and then we'll come back to this next time we're here.

That's what starts getting your kids closer to you. That's what engages them in a much more calming way, but also teaches them that rules, boundaries are important and that self-regulation comes second in those instances. But as they got older, that four to five minutes of tantruming has come down to about 20 seconds of like, I'm done with this. What's going on? Let's take a couple minutes.

That's what starts getting your kids closer to you. That's what engages them in a much more calming way, but also teaches them that rules, boundaries are important and that self-regulation comes second in those instances. But as they got older, that four to five minutes of tantruming has come down to about 20 seconds of like, I'm done with this. What's going on? Let's take a couple minutes.

That's what starts getting your kids closer to you. That's what engages them in a much more calming way, but also teaches them that rules, boundaries are important and that self-regulation comes second in those instances. But as they got older, that four to five minutes of tantruming has come down to about 20 seconds of like, I'm done with this. What's going on? Let's take a couple minutes.

Let's have a seat. No, I'm going to go sit on the stairs. That's cool. I'll be right here on the couch. You let me know when you're ready to have a chat and we'll work through this together. And just sit there like this, like this. And then 20 seconds later, be like, you know, I'm feeling really angry. That's great.