Dr. Micaela

So I stand out to fit in, I stand out, but I stand out in a way that I want people to recognize me or kind of like accept me into my like social group or whatnot.

And yes, your brain develops.

And so you have less of that orientation, but it never goes away because our brains are wired to need other humans.

And so we have socially wired brains.

So we forever are going to be a little bit more oriented to what other people our age think, even though in adolescence, it's like super relevant.

But then we get to a point where maybe you are a member of like a faith community that's really important to you.

But being a little off or being different is something that is pretty actively shunned, right?

Like who forgets to turn their ringer off in the middle of like a faith service, right?

Especially if you've got ADHD, you forget a lot of things.

And so there are going to be a range of benign behaviors that you're going to accidentally be engaging in.

Also, I love the interrupting one because it's like, oh, I can't hold my mouth shut and I just have to let it go.

But also like, is there ever a lull in conversation because I'm waiting and I'm waiting and I'm waiting and then I like miss my chance.

Um, or other people are not so obsessed about whether or not they're going to interrupt people.

And so they can flow with that, like natural conversational, whatever it is.

Um, and so, yeah, you're people with ADHD, people with autism, people who are neurodivergent in whatever way.

Also people who are just unique and idiosyncratic for their interests or their likes or their

All the things, right?

They are going to be judged more often.

So you're not just biologically more vulnerable, you are socially more vulnerable to experiencing rejection and negative evaluation.

So it all comes together in a unfortunate, messy clump of things that we don't necessarily enjoy or want.