Dr. Ramani Durvasula

And then when you have intersectional factors, ethnic minority status plus gender plus lower social class or lower access to resources, then these relationships can get all the more harmful.

I think it's all of the above. I think that there's a real resistance to this. I'm struck by the real resistance to this, that... this very simple education to say, listen, I'm not telling you that I meet someone in 15 minutes and I'm like, well, your wife's a narcissist. I listened to their story. I listened to the patterns.

I think it's all of the above. I think that there's a real resistance to this. I'm struck by the real resistance to this, that... this very simple education to say, listen, I'm not telling you that I meet someone in 15 minutes and I'm like, well, your wife's a narcissist. I listened to their story. I listened to the patterns.

I think it's all of the above. I think that there's a real resistance to this. I'm struck by the real resistance to this, that... this very simple education to say, listen, I'm not telling you that I meet someone in 15 minutes and I'm like, well, your wife's a narcissist. I listened to their story. I listened to the patterns.

You know, we have some sort of, it's interesting, I trained as a therapist in the 90s, right? So we don't have the same kind of, we didn't have the same kind of digital tools then as we do now. Many of my clients' patients will show me text messages, sequences of text messages, emails, voicemails, and things like that. It's unmistakable. It's very clear what they're up against.

You know, we have some sort of, it's interesting, I trained as a therapist in the 90s, right? So we don't have the same kind of, we didn't have the same kind of digital tools then as we do now. Many of my clients' patients will show me text messages, sequences of text messages, emails, voicemails, and things like that. It's unmistakable. It's very clear what they're up against.

You know, we have some sort of, it's interesting, I trained as a therapist in the 90s, right? So we don't have the same kind of, we didn't have the same kind of digital tools then as we do now. Many of my clients' patients will show me text messages, sequences of text messages, emails, voicemails, and things like that. It's unmistakable. It's very clear what they're up against.

And they're not making it up because they couldn't have made up an entire text sequence, right? So I'm seeing it right in front of me what these folks are up against. And repeatedly, repeatedly, couples therapy is a great example. The couples therapist seems so invested in making the point like, what are both of you bringing in? Well, let's see.

And they're not making it up because they couldn't have made up an entire text sequence, right? So I'm seeing it right in front of me what these folks are up against. And repeatedly, repeatedly, couples therapy is a great example. The couples therapist seems so invested in making the point like, what are both of you bringing in? Well, let's see.

And they're not making it up because they couldn't have made up an entire text sequence, right? So I'm seeing it right in front of me what these folks are up against. And repeatedly, repeatedly, couples therapy is a great example. The couples therapist seems so invested in making the point like, what are both of you bringing in? Well, let's see.

How about maybe one of them, one person is trying to play chess and one's trying to play checkers. One person's looking to fight. The other one's looking to affiliate. One person wants power, dominance, and control. The other one wants closeness. This is not a fair fight. And so that kind of resistance. And in fact, I've had many, many patients come in, literally almost need to be deprogrammed

How about maybe one of them, one person is trying to play chess and one's trying to play checkers. One person's looking to fight. The other one's looking to affiliate. One person wants power, dominance, and control. The other one wants closeness. This is not a fair fight. And so that kind of resistance. And in fact, I've had many, many patients come in, literally almost need to be deprogrammed

How about maybe one of them, one person is trying to play chess and one's trying to play checkers. One person's looking to fight. The other one's looking to affiliate. One person wants power, dominance, and control. The other one wants closeness. This is not a fair fight. And so that kind of resistance. And in fact, I've had many, many patients come in, literally almost need to be deprogrammed

from therapists who say oh don't talk about that narcissism stuff you have no right to call them that maybe it's your problem maybe you're the one who's to blame maybe i i mean as recently so it's always a boat that takes two to tango not really not really not when one person is using actually what i would really call psychologically dirty tricks and when you have two people in a relationship and one person's really invested in wanting to maintain attachment connection

from therapists who say oh don't talk about that narcissism stuff you have no right to call them that maybe it's your problem maybe you're the one who's to blame maybe i i mean as recently so it's always a boat that takes two to tango not really not really not when one person is using actually what i would really call psychologically dirty tricks and when you have two people in a relationship and one person's really invested in wanting to maintain attachment connection

from therapists who say oh don't talk about that narcissism stuff you have no right to call them that maybe it's your problem maybe you're the one who's to blame maybe i i mean as recently so it's always a boat that takes two to tango not really not really not when one person is using actually what i would really call psychologically dirty tricks and when you have two people in a relationship and one person's really invested in wanting to maintain attachment connection

closeness, that they're coming from a place of empathy and integrity and reciprocity, and the other person is coming from a place of power, domination, control, egocentricity, self-centeredness, and will do anything to make sure that whole relationship's about them. How is that person who's holding a stance that is more empathic, that is more connected, they're not having the same relationship?

closeness, that they're coming from a place of empathy and integrity and reciprocity, and the other person is coming from a place of power, domination, control, egocentricity, self-centeredness, and will do anything to make sure that whole relationship's about them. How is that person who's holding a stance that is more empathic, that is more connected, they're not having the same relationship?

closeness, that they're coming from a place of empathy and integrity and reciprocity, and the other person is coming from a place of power, domination, control, egocentricity, self-centeredness, and will do anything to make sure that whole relationship's about them. How is that person who's holding a stance that is more empathic, that is more connected, they're not having the same relationship?

And so short of people having paperwork that they put on a table when they enter a relationship and saying, hey, this is what I really want in a relationship, which narcissistic people walk around thinking they're empathic, warm, nice people.