Erica Redman

Thank you. Thank you. foreign foreign

Yeah, go ahead, Erica. So going back to the sign on the door, I was just going to touch on, that was such a pivotal thing During that time frame and because Jay is 99% of the time so positive and that sign absolutely shows that. But that was such a huge thing. And I just think people should never underestimate the power of positivity. It made it easier for me. to support him and stand behind him.

Not to say that every day was, you know, that we didn't have bad days. You know, some days were a struggle. I mean, we had a lot of roadblocks, but overall, I mean, we had music playing and everybody always said our room was like the fun room. And I think that that's been throughout our relationship, but definitely during that time.

And I think so many people can relate to years later when things weren't going right. The kids were good. He was essentially done with surgeries. The nonprofit was doing well. Everything was good. So it should have been happy. And, you know, I think we talked about a little bit the rules of engagement that we were so careful when we, you know, we were positive.

We didn't get into a fight and say, okay, you know, this is it. I want to separate. I want to divorce. Those were things that were off limits. So I think that we had really built that foundation and we had the trust so that when I did, you know, kind of say, if we don't, if we don't do something different, if, you know, if we don't fix this, this will be the beginning of the end.

It, it, it absolutely, you know, it, took it, you know, he took that very seriously and I'm grateful that he took it serious and took action.

You know, I think something we talk about is not only keeping the fights clean, but also... I think knowing your partner and knowing when to give space. We talk a lot about giving space in the book and sometimes, you know, Jay can run rather, rather hot. I can get rather emotional.

So it's taking those cues when, you know, I definitely, we definitely feel like you always need to address it so that you don't carry those arguments forward. Um, but sometimes knowing when to say, all right, let's take, let's take a little break and, and come back to address it because you're, you're not getting anywhere at the moment.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, Jason's always talked about even in SEAL training and in buds, like sometimes so often that that made a difference for them. And I think everyone will agree that, you know, doing that at work or having humor at work. But are we making that effort to also take that into the home and into your relationship?

But there's no doubt that we definitely have little sayings or little phrases. Sometimes if things are stressful or if there's tension, it is kind of just a great way that kind of makes you pause and think, okay, this is not that big of a deal anymore. We recently, you know, launched a new business, which almost became a whole new chapter in the book.

But, you know, we lots of little phrases that, you know, when we're both tired and exhausted, you know, that we'll look at each other and we're like, OK, you know, take a deep breath. And so it absolutely makes a difference.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, that was such a key thing early on. I do think that that helped during these difficult times that we've gone through over the last 24 years. And I think that that's also making a huge difference for us right now. We're kind of at a new, interesting stage. Our kids are all young adults. They're all leaving the nest. The youngest is in college.

And and I'm excited about it. Like our kids are all doing great. So that makes me that makes me happy. And but I know that this is a really difficult time for a lot of couples. And I feel like like we're doing good. And I think that because we are friends and because we had that friendship, that this makes this time this transition that much easier. Yeah.