Ingrid Andress

For real? Why not you?

For real? Why not you?

Okay. I didn't know that.

Okay. I didn't know that.

I was just about to say, it's probably the education level is probably up there, but street smarts is where we lack at the beginning. Well, I lack in all of it.

I was just about to say, it's probably the education level is probably up there, but street smarts is where we lack at the beginning. Well, I lack in all of it.

None of it.

None of it.

Oh, my God. She's lying.

Oh, my God. She's lying.

Yeah. Oh, please. Okay, yeah. She would run circles around.

Yeah. Oh, please. Okay, yeah. She would run circles around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Thanks for having me.

Thanks for having me.

So excited. I'm excited to be here. First podcast back from my, you know, being off the grid. Where did you go when you went off the grid? Well, I went to rehab and I went to, I went back to Colorado, which is where I'm from and spend a lot of time in the mountains. Is your family still there? My brother is, but everybody kind of dispersed. Yeah. I have sisters in Seattle.

So excited. I'm excited to be here. First podcast back from my, you know, being off the grid. Where did you go when you went off the grid? Well, I went to rehab and I went to, I went back to Colorado, which is where I'm from and spend a lot of time in the mountains. Is your family still there? My brother is, but everybody kind of dispersed. Yeah. I have sisters in Seattle.

My parents live in the northern woods of Minnesota. My youngest sister now lives in Nashville with me. So we're all kind of just all over the place. But yeah, I spent a lot of time with family. And then I was like, OK, I think it's time to reemerge.

My parents live in the northern woods of Minnesota. My youngest sister now lives in Nashville with me. So we're all kind of just all over the place. But yeah, I spent a lot of time with family. And then I was like, OK, I think it's time to reemerge.

Just ask. Honestly, I'm so comfortable with it. I know it's such like a taboo thing for people to want to discuss. But to me, it shouldn't be. I mean, have your friends been like, that's been like the best part is like some people are full on. Like, what was it like? Like, like, did you have outfits? Like, what was the thing? And then some people are just like, I'm just glad you're better now.

Just ask. Honestly, I'm so comfortable with it. I know it's such like a taboo thing for people to want to discuss. But to me, it shouldn't be. I mean, have your friends been like, that's been like the best part is like some people are full on. Like, what was it like? Like, like, did you have outfits? Like, what was the thing? And then some people are just like, I'm just glad you're better now.

I was praying for you. Yeah, exactly. Like, I'm so glad you're okay. Lots of prayers. Yeah. So I'm fine talking about it because to me it was such a needed experience for me based on the dark trajectory I was going down. So I feel like even if you don't have a substance issue, disconnecting and asking yourself where you're at in your life and really getting down to, you know,

I was praying for you. Yeah, exactly. Like, I'm so glad you're okay. Lots of prayers. Yeah. So I'm fine talking about it because to me it was such a needed experience for me based on the dark trajectory I was going down. So I feel like even if you don't have a substance issue, disconnecting and asking yourself where you're at in your life and really getting down to, you know,

Your emotional well-being and like slowing things down, I think, is essential, especially for pretty much everybody in this country.

Your emotional well-being and like slowing things down, I think, is essential, especially for pretty much everybody in this country.

I'm really glad I didn't have to walk all the way out.

I'm really glad I didn't have to walk all the way out.

I so that day started as like a very what seemed like a normal day. It was really more it's more about all the days leading up to that or like all the weeks. So at that point, like that day, I I knew that I was drinking, but I was really loving like the numbing feeling that I was having. And so I just didn't stop. And so it wasn't until I woke up the next day where I was like, OK,

I so that day started as like a very what seemed like a normal day. It was really more it's more about all the days leading up to that or like all the weeks. So at that point, like that day, I I knew that I was drinking, but I was really loving like the numbing feeling that I was having. And so I just didn't stop. And so it wasn't until I woke up the next day where I was like, OK,

This is so unlike me. This is not okay. I need help because I actually walked out and did not care. I was just like, I don't care. I don't care how this goes. I'm just, I was so fucked up. Sorry, messed up. You can swear. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was so gone that afterwards, I thought that I kind of nailed it. I was like, oh, I feel like there were some hiccups in there. I could have sang it better.

This is so unlike me. This is not okay. I need help because I actually walked out and did not care. I was just like, I don't care. I don't care how this goes. I'm just, I was so fucked up. Sorry, messed up. You can swear. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was so gone that afterwards, I thought that I kind of nailed it. I was like, oh, I feel like there were some hiccups in there. I could have sang it better.

We did good. I called my best. My best friend called me after I got off the field. And I remember briefly talking to her. She's like, so how do you think that went? And I was like, well, I feel like it wasn't my best. But that's how gone I was. Wow.

We did good. I called my best. My best friend called me after I got off the field. And I remember briefly talking to her. She's like, so how do you think that went? And I was like, well, I feel like it wasn't my best. But that's how gone I was. Wow.

She was very delicate. She was like, are you sure you think that went well? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to you later. And it wasn't until when I woke up the next morning. One, I was like... It's terrifying that I don't remember how it went. And then that's when I called management and was like, hey, I need to go. I need to check myself in somewhere like this is not like me.

She was very delicate. She was like, are you sure you think that went well? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to you later. And it wasn't until when I woke up the next morning. One, I was like... It's terrifying that I don't remember how it went. And then that's when I called management and was like, hey, I need to go. I need to check myself in somewhere like this is not like me.

And I feel like I'm at a point where I don't feel like I can get out of this myself.

And I feel like I'm at a point where I don't feel like I can get out of this myself.

Yes. It was the first time because in my mind, I'm like, oh, I've had this under control for a very long time. And... I think after I parted ways with my first and ever manager and broke up with my, you know, very serious boyfriend like all at once. And I didn't realize how much I didn't let myself process those emotions of grief. And

Yes. It was the first time because in my mind, I'm like, oh, I've had this under control for a very long time. And... I think after I parted ways with my first and ever manager and broke up with my, you know, very serious boyfriend like all at once. And I didn't realize how much I didn't let myself process those emotions of grief. And

I think at that time, you know, everyone says, oh, just keep moving, keep moving, keep busy. And because I didn't process all that, I didn't realize how much it was starting to creep in in other ways, which, you know, I was increasing. It happened really quickly. It was within like three months I was drinking way more than I ever had ever before.

I think at that time, you know, everyone says, oh, just keep moving, keep moving, keep busy. And because I didn't process all that, I didn't realize how much it was starting to creep in in other ways, which, you know, I was increasing. It happened really quickly. It was within like three months I was drinking way more than I ever had ever before.

And just loved that that numbing feeling because that's why we abuse any substance. Right. It's like and really anything can not feel the. Yeah. It's like shopping, eating, gambling, sex, like anything can be an addiction. And we all have the ability to abuse substance when we are trying to numb something. So that's when I realized I was like, I don't actually know how to get out of this.

And just loved that that numbing feeling because that's why we abuse any substance. Right. It's like and really anything can not feel the. Yeah. It's like shopping, eating, gambling, sex, like anything can be an addiction. And we all have the ability to abuse substance when we are trying to numb something. So that's when I realized I was like, I don't actually know how to get out of this.

So my youngest sister lived with me for a while, like trying to get back on her feet in Nashville. And then she moved out in May. And that's kind of when everything started hitting me. Like I was alone in my house and like all those feelings of what I had you know, all the people I had to say goodbye to before and just everything hit me.

So my youngest sister lived with me for a while, like trying to get back on her feet in Nashville. And then she moved out in May. And that's kind of when everything started hitting me. Like I was alone in my house and like all those feelings of what I had you know, all the people I had to say goodbye to before and just everything hit me.

And so like beginning of May is when it just started spiraling so quickly. So then by July, I was just like, I don't feel anything anymore. And it's kind of nice. Like, it's great. And to me, it worked out great. And it only took, you know, global humiliation for me to be like, this is a problem.

And so like beginning of May is when it just started spiraling so quickly. So then by July, I was just like, I don't feel anything anymore. And it's kind of nice. Like, it's great. And to me, it worked out great. And it only took, you know, global humiliation for me to be like, this is a problem.

I mean, I was and now I'm never showing my face in a game ever again.

I mean, I was and now I'm never showing my face in a game ever again.

It did. And luckily, the world was finding out as I was on a plane to rehab, which is when I made my statement and posted online that I was going to rehab. I didn't realize how much the video was going viral because I wasn't I'd never experienced anything like that. I just figured like, oh, like. People will make fun of me and then people will forget.

It did. And luckily, the world was finding out as I was on a plane to rehab, which is when I made my statement and posted online that I was going to rehab. I didn't realize how much the video was going viral because I wasn't I'd never experienced anything like that. I just figured like, oh, like. People will make fun of me and then people will forget.

And, like, the fact that everyone was picking it up and everyone was, you know, doing reaction videos on TikTok. And, like, I didn't realize that until right before I got to rehab. And I'm like, thank God they're taking my phone away because... I've never, one, experienced this much hate on such a massive level before.

And, like, the fact that everyone was picking it up and everyone was, you know, doing reaction videos on TikTok. And, like, I didn't realize that until right before I got to rehab. And I'm like, thank God they're taking my phone away because... I've never, one, experienced this much hate on such a massive level before.

And that's when I realized I was like, oh, I don't think I can handle this right now.

And that's when I realized I was like, oh, I don't think I can handle this right now.

Yeah, exactly. Well, I didn't think they have the audacity to play the clip on MLB. Like I was like, oh, my God. But I will say. At the time, I know, like, politics was, like, really bubbling. And I feel like there was just a lot of angst in general during that time.

Yeah, exactly. Well, I didn't think they have the audacity to play the clip on MLB. Like I was like, oh, my God. But I will say. At the time, I know, like, politics was, like, really bubbling. And I feel like there was just a lot of angst in general during that time.

So, if anything, I feel like, at least, if anything, I'm fine with being America's punching bag because for one moment, everybody was united in the fact that that was awful. So, I feel like I united... So you're welcome, in a way.

So, if anything, I feel like, at least, if anything, I'm fine with being America's punching bag because for one moment, everybody was united in the fact that that was awful. So, I feel like I united... So you're welcome, in a way.

I think the biggest backlash was when I because when I posted like, hey, I'm sorry I was drunk. Apologize to MLB and like I'm checking into rehab. Like that was the most vulnerable I think I've ever been on admitting something like that. Because I had the thought of like, well, maybe I won't tell anybody that I'm going and I'll just like. disappear and then come back.

I think the biggest backlash was when I because when I posted like, hey, I'm sorry I was drunk. Apologize to MLB and like I'm checking into rehab. Like that was the most vulnerable I think I've ever been on admitting something like that. Because I had the thought of like, well, maybe I won't tell anybody that I'm going and I'll just like. disappear and then come back.

But for some reason, it felt like I got more hate from saying that I was going to rehab of just like, oh, you're blaming it on being drunk when you're just a bad singer. It showed me a lot about, one, how sensitive I am, and two, just the lack of empathy in general, which I didn't think, I don't know, I guess I hadn't been exposed to that at that level before.

But for some reason, it felt like I got more hate from saying that I was going to rehab of just like, oh, you're blaming it on being drunk when you're just a bad singer. It showed me a lot about, one, how sensitive I am, and two, just the lack of empathy in general, which I didn't think, I don't know, I guess I hadn't been exposed to that at that level before.

But I hope it's not pointed at me as a person. I think there's just a lot of anger that people need to

But I hope it's not pointed at me as a person. I think there's just a lot of anger that people need to

That would make... I would be like, okay, if that's what you need to do... Yeah, right?

That would make... I would be like, okay, if that's what you need to do... Yeah, right?

Yeah, just get it out, sister.

Yeah, just get it out, sister.

it's some version of a 12 year old, you know, basically, which I, I feel like, I mean, that's so great that you recognize that, you know,

it's some version of a 12 year old, you know, basically, which I, I feel like, I mean, that's so great that you recognize that, you know,

relatively early on in this process for you because for me it's it is new and so i'm learning new boundaries of of what i will read and what i won't which i never had to worry about before but it's kind of it's kind of freeing in a way because i do care what people think about me but i i'm realizing that i care more what they think about my music

relatively early on in this process for you because for me it's it is new and so i'm learning new boundaries of of what i will read and what i won't which i never had to worry about before but it's kind of it's kind of freeing in a way because i do care what people think about me but i i'm realizing that i care more what they think about my music

and my songwriting and that, I mean, they can judge how I look, what I wear, like all these things that, I mean, are kind of pointless. But to me, what I care about is the things that I really care about, which is music and songwriting. So if, and I realize that some people won't like that either, but I just, that's.

and my songwriting and that, I mean, they can judge how I look, what I wear, like all these things that, I mean, are kind of pointless. But to me, what I care about is the things that I really care about, which is music and songwriting. So if, and I realize that some people won't like that either, but I just, that's.

I think I want to be less precious about it moving forward, especially because... I was so terrified of like fucking up for so long in my career.

I think I want to be less precious about it moving forward, especially because... I was so terrified of like fucking up for so long in my career.

And I feel like now that I've done that on such a massive scale, it feels like the bandaid has been ripped off and that I can show that I am a human and that it's, you know, everyone thinks celebrities are a certain way or whatever, but I'm, I'm more comfortable showing up as a human being now, I think. And so whatever that looks like on social media is,

And I feel like now that I've done that on such a massive scale, it feels like the bandaid has been ripped off and that I can show that I am a human and that it's, you know, everyone thinks celebrities are a certain way or whatever, but I'm, I'm more comfortable showing up as a human being now, I think. And so whatever that looks like on social media is,

probably going to be more transparent than i have been in the past just because i was so afraid that somebody would take something the wrong way or i would offend somebody with something that i wore or like just all those things and now i feel like all those voices are not completely gone but they're they're they're not as loud yeah i mean the the more people know that they can get to you the more they'll try type of thing and the more you show people like

probably going to be more transparent than i have been in the past just because i was so afraid that somebody would take something the wrong way or i would offend somebody with something that i wore or like just all those things and now i feel like all those voices are not completely gone but they're they're they're not as loud yeah i mean the the more people know that they can get to you the more they'll try type of thing and the more you show people like

Yes. So that was actually the other really meaningful thing that happened after the anthem. I was expecting no one to reach out or like, but there was just so much outpouring of love from female country artists in Nashville. And I actually felt like so loved and seen like going into rehab. That's lovely. El King was like, this is just all part of it, girl.

Yes. So that was actually the other really meaningful thing that happened after the anthem. I was expecting no one to reach out or like, but there was just so much outpouring of love from female country artists in Nashville. And I actually felt like so loved and seen like going into rehab. That's lovely. El King was like, this is just all part of it, girl.

And she's obviously been there before, too. And Kelsey Ballerini was like, welcome to the worst parts of this job. And like, It was mostly women and like Karen Fairchild from Little Big Town. And that really meant a lot to me because I feel like women in country music have had to stick together based on very obvious things because it's like a very male-dominated genre.

And she's obviously been there before, too. And Kelsey Ballerini was like, welcome to the worst parts of this job. And like, It was mostly women and like Karen Fairchild from Little Big Town. And that really meant a lot to me because I feel like women in country music have had to stick together based on very obvious things because it's like a very male-dominated genre.

But for them to be like, hey, we've all been there. Yeah, you're not alone. Yeah. It was very meaningful. And Carlos Santana randomly was like... Yeah, have never spoken to him before in my life. And he asked my management, he's like, hey, can I get Ingrid's number?

But for them to be like, hey, we've all been there. Yeah, you're not alone. Yeah. It was very meaningful. And Carlos Santana randomly was like... Yeah, have never spoken to him before in my life. And he asked my management, he's like, hey, can I get Ingrid's number?

Right? I was like, hello? I was like in rehab. I was like, hi there. What are you? What's up? It's me. Yeah, it's me, your long lost friend. But he was so kind and so supportive and was just like, you know, if you ever want to do a song, like, you know where to find me. And he like sent me flowers. And I was like, did you say yes? Yeah. I was like, I will pencil you in, sir.

Right? I was like, hello? I was like in rehab. I was like, hi there. What are you? What's up? It's me. Yeah, it's me, your long lost friend. But he was so kind and so supportive and was just like, you know, if you ever want to do a song, like, you know where to find me. And he like sent me flowers. And I was like, did you say yes? Yeah. I was like, I will pencil you in, sir.

And actually this rehab has a studio. So if you want to like pop by here, like, please feel free.

And actually this rehab has a studio. So if you want to like pop by here, like, please feel free.

She redeemed herself. I did.

She redeemed herself. I did.

Well, it was very recent. That was like on Friday. Yeah, you crushed. How did it feel? It was great.

Well, it was very recent. That was like on Friday. Yeah, you crushed. How did it feel? It was great.

I wonder why.

I wonder why.

I'm like, I actually sang it. And actually people still are like, oh, she's still drunk. Like she's singing it so slow. And I'm like, well, I'm singing it slowly because it was actually harder to sing this time around because the first time I had in ears, which is where you can hear yourself. Yeah.

I'm like, I actually sang it. And actually people still are like, oh, she's still drunk. Like she's singing it so slow. And I'm like, well, I'm singing it slowly because it was actually harder to sing this time around because the first time I had in ears, which is where you can hear yourself. Yeah.

I didn't hear myself the first time cause I wasn't mentally there, but the second time they didn't have in ears. So, and it was in an arena. So you have to sing slower because you're the, the echo is constantly bouncing back at you.

I didn't hear myself the first time cause I wasn't mentally there, but the second time they didn't have in ears. So, and it was in an arena. So you have to sing slower because you're the, the echo is constantly bouncing back at you.

Yeah. Still crush. So I did. And it felt, I, when I tell you, like, I have never been more nervous about something.

Yeah. Still crush. So I did. And it felt, I, when I tell you, like, I have never been more nervous about something.

Like, Oh, my. The only thing getting me through it was the thought like I never have to sing this song again. Yeah.

Like, Oh, my. The only thing getting me through it was the thought like I never have to sing this song again. Yeah.

It was a bit of both because I am a competitive person and... Originally, I told my team, I was like, I'm actually never singing that song again. And we were just going to move on and talk about it a lot. But as time went on and I was writing more music and I was like, I think...

It was a bit of both because I am a competitive person and... Originally, I told my team, I was like, I'm actually never singing that song again. And we were just going to move on and talk about it a lot. But as time went on and I was writing more music and I was like, I think...

Actually, for my own mental well-being and to be able to close this chapter, like, I need to do this for myself, even though I hate this idea. Because if you bomb the anthem twice, your career is over. Like, truly. Especially after... Can you imagine bombing... The stakes are high. Yeah, it's very high. Like, there's really no coming back from that. Yeah. So...

Actually, for my own mental well-being and to be able to close this chapter, like, I need to do this for myself, even though I hate this idea. Because if you bomb the anthem twice, your career is over. Like, truly. Especially after... Can you imagine bombing... The stakes are high. Yeah, it's very high. Like, there's really no coming back from that. Yeah. So...

Yeah, part of me just needed to do it to prove to myself that I could and to show people who maybe didn't know me outside of that. Like I actually am a singer and I've been doing this for a long time and it actually does mean a lot to me and yeah. I take it seriously. So how long was the like after you finished? I the next day was very different than the next day. Yeah.

Yeah, part of me just needed to do it to prove to myself that I could and to show people who maybe didn't know me outside of that. Like I actually am a singer and I've been doing this for a long time and it actually does mean a lot to me and yeah. I take it seriously. So how long was the like after you finished? I the next day was very different than the next day. Yeah.

I the amount of I didn't realize how much weight I was carrying with it. And so when I woke up the next day and it was gone, I was like, oh, I had no idea I would feel this much relief. Wow. And yeah, it didn't the video didn't blow up as much as the first one, because I just think I just think sometimes people like.

I the amount of I didn't realize how much weight I was carrying with it. And so when I woke up the next day and it was gone, I was like, oh, I had no idea I would feel this much relief. Wow. And yeah, it didn't the video didn't blow up as much as the first one, because I just think I just think sometimes people like.

Yeah. I'm like, how do I say this without saying people can be shitty sometimes?

Yeah. I'm like, how do I say this without saying people can be shitty sometimes?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. It was definitely more for me to do it. And that way I didn't have to like talk about it as much because I just went back out and did it and was just like, end of story. I did it. You guys can stop trolling me. But it turns out they can still troll you even after you nail it.

Yeah. It was definitely more for me to do it. And that way I didn't have to like talk about it as much because I just went back out and did it and was just like, end of story. I did it. You guys can stop trolling me. But it turns out they can still troll you even after you nail it.

Yes, I have.

Yes, I have.

Yes. I mean, the significance of Footprints was really more why I wanted that song to come out first. I actually wrote it a couple years ago for my siblings, all four of them. Because I was the first one to leave home and leave the cult. Just kidding. It wasn't a cult. It was a very loving family. And I felt like I had left them behind in a way.

Yes. I mean, the significance of Footprints was really more why I wanted that song to come out first. I actually wrote it a couple years ago for my siblings, all four of them. Because I was the first one to leave home and leave the cult. Just kidding. It wasn't a cult. It was a very loving family. And I felt like I had left them behind in a way.

And I didn't want them to feel like I was abandoning them. But just to show them like, hey, you can learn from my mistakes. But I also wrote it from on top of a mountain of things were going well in my career. I was getting nominated for things. And I was like... oh, see, like, look, you can do this too.

And I didn't want them to feel like I was abandoning them. But just to show them like, hey, you can learn from my mistakes. But I also wrote it from on top of a mountain of things were going well in my career. I was getting nominated for things. And I was like... oh, see, like, look, you can do this too.

Like if I can do it, but I listened to it again after getting out of rehab and it hit different because I felt like, I was listening to it walking up the mountain this time as opposed to being up there already. And it meant more to me because I wanted them to see, like, one, your older sister is crazy but resilient. And, like, even after all this... Like, you can still do this.

Like if I can do it, but I listened to it again after getting out of rehab and it hit different because I felt like, I was listening to it walking up the mountain this time as opposed to being up there already. And it meant more to me because I wanted them to see, like, one, your older sister is crazy but resilient. And, like, even after all this... Like, you can still do this.

And if you ever want, just know that, like, the path that I'm going on is to show that, like, you can also pursue your dreams and do things. And so to me, I wanted Footprints to be the first song because it hit different from where I'm at in life now. Wow. I mean, I tell them all the time, like I try to lead by example. I'm like, don't follow all my footprints. Right.

And if you ever want, just know that, like, the path that I'm going on is to show that, like, you can also pursue your dreams and do things. And so to me, I wanted Footprints to be the first song because it hit different from where I'm at in life now. Wow. I mean, I tell them all the time, like I try to lead by example. I'm like, don't follow all my footprints. Right.

Specifically not into the baseball stadium. But I think for me, it's important for them to know like you you can do you can go out and pursue your dreams. Not exactly in the way that I have, but it is possible. But also just like.

Specifically not into the baseball stadium. But I think for me, it's important for them to know like you you can do you can go out and pursue your dreams. Not exactly in the way that I have, but it is possible. But also just like.

Exactly. That's what I've been told.

Exactly. That's what I've been told.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think so. I also love a good comeback story. It feels more like just I by no means, like no one should take my advice and no one should be like, you know, following my example after I release a song like Rip Prince. But I'm just like, it feels like a comeback, but it's also just feels like a return to something that's always been there. And so because I think people make mistakes. And so to then

I think so. I also love a good comeback story. It feels more like just I by no means, like no one should take my advice and no one should be like, you know, following my example after I release a song like Rip Prince. But I'm just like, it feels like a comeback, but it's also just feels like a return to something that's always been there. And so because I think people make mistakes. And so to then

come out and be like i'm different i'm new i'm whatever it's like no i'm still me i'm still like the messy crazy you know introspective me but i feel more present in who i am as opposed to it's a thing because like comeback doesn't have to mean like oh my god i've recreated myself i'm a new person it's more like i've made a mistake i've worked on that mistake i'm

come out and be like i'm different i'm new i'm whatever it's like no i'm still me i'm still like the messy crazy you know introspective me but i feel more present in who i am as opposed to it's a thing because like comeback doesn't have to mean like oh my god i've recreated myself i'm a new person it's more like i've made a mistake i've worked on that mistake i'm

Um, pretty life changing. Um, she has been like my idol for such a long time. And, um, she just transcends timelines and genres and, and a lot of it is because of her authenticity as an artist and as a songwriter and just as a human. And it's rare that you see that as artists get older, I find, um, But it's almost like she's really embraced her journey and has really leaned into who she is.

Um, pretty life changing. Um, she has been like my idol for such a long time. And, um, she just transcends timelines and genres and, and a lot of it is because of her authenticity as an artist and as a songwriter and just as a human. And it's rare that you see that as artists get older, I find, um, But it's almost like she's really embraced her journey and has really leaned into who she is.

And I think that's what makes her so magical is that she does not apologize. She just shows up as herself and has for decades. And to see that, you know, because her and I are obviously at very different places in our lives and careers. But it was so inspiring to see her still doing the thing that she loves and like the fans that came out were from all walks of life, like all different ages.

And I think that's what makes her so magical is that she does not apologize. She just shows up as herself and has for decades. And to see that, you know, because her and I are obviously at very different places in our lives and careers. But it was so inspiring to see her still doing the thing that she loves and like the fans that came out were from all walks of life, like all different ages.

Like it wasn't just this one thing. It was, it was really powerful to see how many lives and, you know, how many generations she transcends. And, I was honestly shocked that I was there, but I felt very at home with her fans. It felt like everybody appreciated storytelling and just being real and truthful. And yeah, it was very inspiring. I definitely want to be her when I grow up.

Like it wasn't just this one thing. It was, it was really powerful to see how many lives and, you know, how many generations she transcends. And, I was honestly shocked that I was there, but I felt very at home with her fans. It felt like everybody appreciated storytelling and just being real and truthful. And yeah, it was very inspiring. I definitely want to be her when I grow up.

They fluctuate. After being on the road, I'll say I can't wait to get back in the studio. I am done performing. And then when I'm in the studio for months at a time, I'm like, I can't wait to get out of here and jump around stage. But I will say I think songwriting is probably where I'm more comfortable just because I feel like I can process my thoughts better.

They fluctuate. After being on the road, I'll say I can't wait to get back in the studio. I am done performing. And then when I'm in the studio for months at a time, I'm like, I can't wait to get out of here and jump around stage. But I will say I think songwriting is probably where I'm more comfortable just because I feel like I can process my thoughts better.

in the moment but being on stage has its own energy it's like it feels more communal than songwriting does songwriting can feel a little isolating whereas performing on stage you just there's like this energy of everybody in the room that is hard not to feed off of and feels very um like life-giving in a way

in the moment but being on stage has its own energy it's like it feels more communal than songwriting does songwriting can feel a little isolating whereas performing on stage you just there's like this energy of everybody in the room that is hard not to feed off of and feels very um like life-giving in a way

Yeah. Yeah. So how that happened. So Charlie, she is a very good songwriter. Like she's written songs for like Icon of Pop and like she's also started as a songwriter and then turned into artist. And so Boys was actually the first outside song that she wanted to record, which to me was crazy because I looked up to her as a songwriter.

Yeah. Yeah. So how that happened. So Charlie, she is a very good songwriter. Like she's written songs for like Icon of Pop and like she's also started as a songwriter and then turned into artist. And so Boys was actually the first outside song that she wanted to record, which to me was crazy because I looked up to her as a songwriter.

And so for me to get the call of like, hey, Charlie actually really likes this song. I'm like, well, does she want to like twerk? tweak it or and she obviously added her sauce to it but it was actually we never like collabed on it because the song was already done um and she yeah it was the first time that she took a song that she didn't write how does that feel for you to like

And so for me to get the call of like, hey, Charlie actually really likes this song. I'm like, well, does she want to like twerk? tweak it or and she obviously added her sauce to it but it was actually we never like collabed on it because the song was already done um and she yeah it was the first time that she took a song that she didn't write how does that feel for you to like

Yeah. So when I started switching or transitioning from just a songwriter to an artist, the whole reason that happened was because I started writing songs that were very personal to me and like my story. And artists wanted to cut the songs and I'd be like, no. And then my publisher was like, well, then... You sing. Yeah.

Yeah. So when I started switching or transitioning from just a songwriter to an artist, the whole reason that happened was because I started writing songs that were very personal to me and like my story. And artists wanted to cut the songs and I'd be like, no. And then my publisher was like, well, then... You sing. Yeah.

Or they're just like, well, you're supposed to want other people to sing these songs. I'm like, yeah, but they're my stories and I'm having a hard time letting these go. And so that was like kind of the biggest reason I became an artist was because I didn't want other people pretending that my story was theirs. But... There are many songs where I'm like, this is obviously not for me.

Or they're just like, well, you're supposed to want other people to sing these songs. I'm like, yeah, but they're my stories and I'm having a hard time letting these go. And so that was like kind of the biggest reason I became an artist was because I didn't want other people pretending that my story was theirs. But... There are many songs where I'm like, this is obviously not for me.

Like, I would never say that. Like, boys being one of them, you know, as much as that side of me comes out a lot, I'm like, I am not like that all the time. And I would like to think I am. It's almost like me talking about somebody that maybe I'd want to be one day, you know? But I know at my core, it's like saying that you're a wolf, but really, you know, you're like a fox, right?

Like, I would never say that. Like, boys being one of them, you know, as much as that side of me comes out a lot, I'm like, I am not like that all the time. And I would like to think I am. It's almost like me talking about somebody that maybe I'd want to be one day, you know? But I know at my core, it's like saying that you're a wolf, but really, you know, you're like a fox, right?

You know, you're like, this is me. And you're like, this is not me.

You know, you're like, this is me. And you're like, this is not me.

I'm just joking. Yeah, I'm joking. No one would believe me, you know. So whenever I write for other artists, I'm always hoping that they can hear themselves in it because that's what matters to me. I'm like, does this resonate with you? And obviously there will always be a part of me in those songs, but it's almost to like help facilitate them as opposed to being like, this is about me.

I'm just joking. Yeah, I'm joking. No one would believe me, you know. So whenever I write for other artists, I'm always hoping that they can hear themselves in it because that's what matters to me. I'm like, does this resonate with you? And obviously there will always be a part of me in those songs, but it's almost to like help facilitate them as opposed to being like, this is about me.

So humble. No. No, I'm being honest. I'm forgetting.

So humble. No. No, I'm being honest. I'm forgetting.

Let's go.

Let's go.

oh okay normal like high school for like you know just to integrate with society right what was yours like um very similar okay um oh then that's like that's that's normal that's like yeah well except i started in preschool through like second grade maybe i went to like normal public school but then it was getting harder to pull us out of school because we were starting to learn like

oh okay normal like high school for like you know just to integrate with society right what was yours like um very similar okay um oh then that's like that's that's normal that's like yeah well except i started in preschool through like second grade maybe i went to like normal public school but then it was getting harder to pull us out of school because we were starting to learn like

pretty important things like reading and stuff. And my dad was a major league baseball coach and he traveled a lot and, and spring training is a thing every year. Uh, he started with the Detroit tigers and then he was with the Rockies for most of my childhood. And then he ended with the Mets. Yeah, hence why the MLB humiliation really stung on multiple levels.

pretty important things like reading and stuff. And my dad was a major league baseball coach and he traveled a lot and, and spring training is a thing every year. Uh, he started with the Detroit tigers and then he was with the Rockies for most of my childhood. And then he ended with the Mets. Yeah, hence why the MLB humiliation really stung on multiple levels.

Oh, a lot of old retired players reached out to him, let me tell you, being like, is your daughter okay? And he was like, uh, no. She's not. She's not. But so my mom decided to homeschool us because we would have to

Oh, a lot of old retired players reached out to him, let me tell you, being like, is your daughter okay? And he was like, uh, no. She's not. She's not. But so my mom decided to homeschool us because we would have to

be pulled out of school a lot to travel with him for like months at a time okay so that was the reason and it was fine we we did those like for those of you who are homeschooled you'll know this it's like you get this once a week go hang out with other homeschooler classes um it was called a k-12 program so once a week we would integrate with other homeschoolers and that's when i

be pulled out of school a lot to travel with him for like months at a time okay so that was the reason and it was fine we we did those like for those of you who are homeschooled you'll know this it's like you get this once a week go hang out with other homeschooler classes um it was called a k-12 program so once a week we would integrate with other homeschoolers and that's when i

remember thinking like oh I'm a cool homeschooler because everybody else in the the homeschool world like there was a reason why you got homeschooled you know like there was just a lot of stuff going on and a lot of it was like religious repression or like something like that but then I

remember thinking like oh I'm a cool homeschooler because everybody else in the the homeschool world like there was a reason why you got homeschooled you know like there was just a lot of stuff going on and a lot of it was like religious repression or like something like that but then I

I started playing sports and got pretty serious about it when I was 13 or 14 is when you start doing competitive club sports. And so my parents were like, well, it's time to put you in public school then in order to start building that resume. So they actually put me in public school in eighth grade.

I started playing sports and got pretty serious about it when I was 13 or 14 is when you start doing competitive club sports. And so my parents were like, well, it's time to put you in public school then in order to start building that resume. So they actually put me in public school in eighth grade.

Oh, it would be one thing.

Oh, it would be one thing.

Yes, especially the last year of middle school. Like it'd be one thing to go to high school because it's like you, you know, people are awkward. Everyone's awkward. And like you're coming in from different counties and like everyone's kind of like it's a new batch of people.

Yes, especially the last year of middle school. Like it'd be one thing to go to high school because it's like you, you know, people are awkward. Everyone's awkward. And like you're coming in from different counties and like everyone's kind of like it's a new batch of people.

Yes. Like it was it was like breaking into like the cool kids club last minute, like when when they were about to, you know, leave and they were just like, we don't really know what to do with you because like we're kind of done here. And I'm like, yeah, totally. I get it. I get it. I don't need to be accepted.

Yes. Like it was it was like breaking into like the cool kids club last minute, like when when they were about to, you know, leave and they were just like, we don't really know what to do with you because like we're kind of done here. And I'm like, yeah, totally. I get it. I get it. I don't need to be accepted.

So that was a traumatizing year for sure because my parents were also very conservative and sheltered us from a lot of things. And so when I got to middle school, I really had no idea what was going on. And I wasn't allowed to wear makeup and had to dress...

So that was a traumatizing year for sure because my parents were also very conservative and sheltered us from a lot of things. And so when I got to middle school, I really had no idea what was going on. And I wasn't allowed to wear makeup and had to dress...

very, very, very modestly, and I felt like I learned so much in such a short period of time of, like, you know, oh, why is this girl crying in the bathroom over this guy? Like, what happened? And, like... Oh, like, what's a push-up bra? I'm like, what does that do? I'm like, can I have one?

very, very, very modestly, and I felt like I learned so much in such a short period of time of, like, you know, oh, why is this girl crying in the bathroom over this guy? Like, what happened? And, like... Oh, like, what's a push-up bra? I'm like, what does that do? I'm like, can I have one?

Yes! Like, what? I'm like, do you do the whole one? Or just up here? And the knee seems hard. The knee seems... I'm like, why are you rolling up your gym shorts so high? I'm like, you're not going to be able to do anything. And like tying your shirt up and making it a crop top. I'm like, does that help you play better? I'm like, I don't know. I feel like that would hurt in dodgeball, you know?

Yes! Like, what? I'm like, do you do the whole one? Or just up here? And the knee seems hard. The knee seems... I'm like, why are you rolling up your gym shorts so high? I'm like, you're not going to be able to do anything. And like tying your shirt up and making it a crop top. I'm like, does that help you play better? I'm like, I don't know. I feel like that would hurt in dodgeball, you know?

So it's just, there was like all these things that I felt like an outsider, which is why I feel like

So it's just, there was like all these things that I felt like an outsider, which is why I feel like

social norms to me are such a is such an interesting concept because they change so much and like they change based on wherever you go and like they're a constantly evolving thing and and some people take them really seriously and some don't and like as somebody who is still feel I feel like I'm learning something every day it is a fascinating concept to me of like

social norms to me are such a is such an interesting concept because they change so much and like they change based on wherever you go and like they're a constantly evolving thing and and some people take them really seriously and some don't and like as somebody who is still feel I feel like I'm learning something every day it is a fascinating concept to me of like

how we choose to interact with each other and like what's acceptable.

how we choose to interact with each other and like what's acceptable.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

It'll be great though.

It'll be great though.

I have. Not in a long time, though. I've had a lot of great memories at the Opry, for sure. But yeah, this will be my first time coming back in a couple years. How are you feeling? I'm excited because it feels very familiar, but also very... accepting. The country community, they're fiercely loyal.

I have. Not in a long time, though. I've had a lot of great memories at the Opry, for sure. But yeah, this will be my first time coming back in a couple years. How are you feeling? I'm excited because it feels very familiar, but also very... accepting. The country community, they're fiercely loyal.

And so I feel like it's kind of a nice welcome back into society because country music bands really want to relate to you and they really want to hear your stories. And I feel like that's what I love about it so much. And I think that Opry has captured that for

And so I feel like it's kind of a nice welcome back into society because country music bands really want to relate to you and they really want to hear your stories. And I feel like that's what I love about it so much. And I think that Opry has captured that for

for longer than i've been alive and has done that for so many people so um i'm excited yeah i'm gonna play footprints for the first time there on piano oh my god so we'll see if they like it well they will of course it says here you're passionate about comedy and comedians you're very funny by the way oh thank you but do you have any fave comedians that you're following right now

for longer than i've been alive and has done that for so many people so um i'm excited yeah i'm gonna play footprints for the first time there on piano oh my god so we'll see if they like it well they will of course it says here you're passionate about comedy and comedians you're very funny by the way oh thank you but do you have any fave comedians that you're following right now

I mean, there are so many. I feel like I've watched everyone's new Netflix specials, like when there was the writer's strike, you know, and I feel like Netflix ran out of like, you know, content. And they were like, let's give every comedian a special. And I was like, yes. So, yeah, I feel like, well, I've always loved Bill Burr because he's just, you know, very straightforward.

I mean, there are so many. I feel like I've watched everyone's new Netflix specials, like when there was the writer's strike, you know, and I feel like Netflix ran out of like, you know, content. And they were like, let's give every comedian a special. And I was like, yes. So, yeah, I feel like, well, I've always loved Bill Burr because he's just, you know, very straightforward.

But I also love Nikki Glaser. I've loved her for a minute and I love that she's like finally getting her moment.

But I also love Nikki Glaser. I've loved her for a minute and I love that she's like finally getting her moment.

Oh, I just love her. Obviously, Dave Chappelle is like one of the OG and Tennessee man. What's his name? Oh, my God. He hosted... Oh, Theo Vaughn, of course. Yes, him. He is wild. I'm really happy.

Oh, I just love her. Obviously, Dave Chappelle is like one of the OG and Tennessee man. What's his name? Oh, my God. He hosted... Oh, Theo Vaughn, of course. Yes, him. He is wild. I'm really happy.

Yeah. It's the way that he says it to where you're like, sure, man. It's like he's just asking a question, I guess. Yeah. You're just like, only you could ask that. And it's very, yeah, he's wild. What Tennessee man are you talking about? Nate Bargatze.

Yeah. It's the way that he says it to where you're like, sure, man. It's like he's just asking a question, I guess. Yeah. You're just like, only you could ask that. And it's very, yeah, he's wild. What Tennessee man are you talking about? Nate Bargatze.

His dryness gives me so much life. And he's also been doing it for such a long time. So I feel like

His dryness gives me so much life. And he's also been doing it for such a long time. So I feel like

He's having a moment too. Did you ever think that was a path you might take? No. I feel like there are similarities in songwriting and comedy writing, which is why I think I get into it so much because they're also writing... you know, in country music, you have like that twist at the end or like that wordplay or like how, how do you tie this up in the end?

He's having a moment too. Did you ever think that was a path you might take? No. I feel like there are similarities in songwriting and comedy writing, which is why I think I get into it so much because they're also writing... you know, in country music, you have like that twist at the end or like that wordplay or like how, how do you tie this up in the end?

And comedy is the same way to where you're almost like working backwards when you're writing a joke and to see like the transitions and like the writing part of it is so brilliant. And yeah, I feel like comedians are just as dark as songwriters are sometimes. And so it's almost like your brains kind of understand each other.

And comedy is the same way to where you're almost like working backwards when you're writing a joke and to see like the transitions and like the writing part of it is so brilliant. And yeah, I feel like comedians are just as dark as songwriters are sometimes. And so it's almost like your brains kind of understand each other.

And at least in Nashville, like a lot of the songwriters and the comedians like are all friends because there's like this understood, you know, ability to write in hopes that you're bringing other people in.

And at least in Nashville, like a lot of the songwriters and the comedians like are all friends because there's like this understood, you know, ability to write in hopes that you're bringing other people in.

uh more joy or to make other people feel more understood and so i just love that about comedy sometimes it's i i mean i i'm not a fan of all comedy i feel like sometimes i'm like hmm no that didn't that didn't do that you know sometimes people have some misses agreed yeah amen

uh more joy or to make other people feel more understood and so i just love that about comedy sometimes it's i i mean i i'm not a fan of all comedy i feel like sometimes i'm like hmm no that didn't that didn't do that you know sometimes people have some misses agreed yeah amen

Yeah, I'm really into Severance right now. I was on Reddit the other night.

Yeah, I'm really into Severance right now. I was on Reddit the other night.

Okay, same. Spoiler alert.

Okay, same. Spoiler alert.

I feel like... And this is like... I'm worried I just say it because I don't want people to be like, yeah, there's no way. But there's... I feel like she is recovering her brain. And so it's almost like if he breaks out of it, it's almost like they need him in order for her to build her brain back in a way.

I feel like... And this is like... I'm worried I just say it because I don't want people to be like, yeah, there's no way. But there's... I feel like she is recovering her brain. And so it's almost like if he breaks out of it, it's almost like they need him in order for her to build her brain back in a way.

I think Lumen staged her death to get her.

I think Lumen staged her death to get her.

Well, do we think she did get in a car wreck when she had brain damage and part of Lumen's thing is to rebuild someone's brain?

Well, do we think she did get in a car wreck when she had brain damage and part of Lumen's thing is to rebuild someone's brain?

Oh.

Oh.

I do too. I don't, I, yeah.

I do too. I don't, I, yeah.

The fact that she's still wanting to see, yeah. There's a lot going on. I feel like I'm starting to focus on Bert too now.

The fact that she's still wanting to see, yeah. There's a lot going on. I feel like I'm starting to focus on Bert too now.

Is he a part of it?

Is he a part of it?

He is because his partner got a little wine whatever and was like, oh yeah, like you were there like 20 years ago. And he was like, oh, you've had too much to drink. Obviously I was only there seven years. And like the fact that before the guy left and he like reestablished, like it was, he gets confused. It was only, which means he was part of making it. Oh.

He is because his partner got a little wine whatever and was like, oh yeah, like you were there like 20 years ago. And he was like, oh, you've had too much to drink. Obviously I was only there seven years. And like the fact that before the guy left and he like reestablished, like it was, he gets confused. It was only, which means he was part of making it. Oh.

And so to me, he must have done something really bad because he was atoning for his sins. True. So many questions.

And so to me, he must have done something really bad because he was atoning for his sins. True. So many questions.

Anyway.

Anyway.

Thank you guys for having me.

Thank you guys for having me.

Is there an album coming out? There might be. Okay. Yeah.

Is there an album coming out? There might be. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, pretty much.

For real? Why not you?

Okay. I didn't know that.

I was just about to say, it's probably the education level is probably up there, but street smarts is where we lack at the beginning. Well, I lack in all of it.

None of it.

Oh, my God. She's lying.

Yeah. Oh, please. Okay, yeah. She would run circles around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Thanks for having me.

So excited. I'm excited to be here. First podcast back from my, you know, being off the grid. Where did you go when you went off the grid? Well, I went to rehab and I went to, I went back to Colorado, which is where I'm from and spend a lot of time in the mountains. Is your family still there? My brother is, but everybody kind of dispersed. Yeah. I have sisters in Seattle.

My parents live in the northern woods of Minnesota. My youngest sister now lives in Nashville with me. So we're all kind of just all over the place. But yeah, I spent a lot of time with family. And then I was like, OK, I think it's time to reemerge.

Just ask. Honestly, I'm so comfortable with it. I know it's such like a taboo thing for people to want to discuss. But to me, it shouldn't be. I mean, have your friends been like, that's been like the best part is like some people are full on. Like, what was it like? Like, like, did you have outfits? Like, what was the thing? And then some people are just like, I'm just glad you're better now.

I was praying for you. Yeah, exactly. Like, I'm so glad you're okay. Lots of prayers. Yeah. So I'm fine talking about it because to me it was such a needed experience for me based on the dark trajectory I was going down. So I feel like even if you don't have a substance issue, disconnecting and asking yourself where you're at in your life and really getting down to, you know,

Your emotional well-being and like slowing things down, I think, is essential, especially for pretty much everybody in this country.

I'm really glad I didn't have to walk all the way out.

I so that day started as like a very what seemed like a normal day. It was really more it's more about all the days leading up to that or like all the weeks. So at that point, like that day, I I knew that I was drinking, but I was really loving like the numbing feeling that I was having. And so I just didn't stop. And so it wasn't until I woke up the next day where I was like, OK,

This is so unlike me. This is not okay. I need help because I actually walked out and did not care. I was just like, I don't care. I don't care how this goes. I'm just, I was so fucked up. Sorry, messed up. You can swear. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was so gone that afterwards, I thought that I kind of nailed it. I was like, oh, I feel like there were some hiccups in there. I could have sang it better.

We did good. I called my best. My best friend called me after I got off the field. And I remember briefly talking to her. She's like, so how do you think that went? And I was like, well, I feel like it wasn't my best. But that's how gone I was. Wow.

She was very delicate. She was like, are you sure you think that went well? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to you later. And it wasn't until when I woke up the next morning. One, I was like... It's terrifying that I don't remember how it went. And then that's when I called management and was like, hey, I need to go. I need to check myself in somewhere like this is not like me.

And I feel like I'm at a point where I don't feel like I can get out of this myself.

Yes. It was the first time because in my mind, I'm like, oh, I've had this under control for a very long time. And... I think after I parted ways with my first and ever manager and broke up with my, you know, very serious boyfriend like all at once. And I didn't realize how much I didn't let myself process those emotions of grief. And

I think at that time, you know, everyone says, oh, just keep moving, keep moving, keep busy. And because I didn't process all that, I didn't realize how much it was starting to creep in in other ways, which, you know, I was increasing. It happened really quickly. It was within like three months I was drinking way more than I ever had ever before.

And just loved that that numbing feeling because that's why we abuse any substance. Right. It's like and really anything can not feel the. Yeah. It's like shopping, eating, gambling, sex, like anything can be an addiction. And we all have the ability to abuse substance when we are trying to numb something. So that's when I realized I was like, I don't actually know how to get out of this.

So my youngest sister lived with me for a while, like trying to get back on her feet in Nashville. And then she moved out in May. And that's kind of when everything started hitting me. Like I was alone in my house and like all those feelings of what I had you know, all the people I had to say goodbye to before and just everything hit me.

And so like beginning of May is when it just started spiraling so quickly. So then by July, I was just like, I don't feel anything anymore. And it's kind of nice. Like, it's great. And to me, it worked out great. And it only took, you know, global humiliation for me to be like, this is a problem.

I mean, I was and now I'm never showing my face in a game ever again.

It did. And luckily, the world was finding out as I was on a plane to rehab, which is when I made my statement and posted online that I was going to rehab. I didn't realize how much the video was going viral because I wasn't I'd never experienced anything like that. I just figured like, oh, like. People will make fun of me and then people will forget.

And, like, the fact that everyone was picking it up and everyone was, you know, doing reaction videos on TikTok. And, like, I didn't realize that until right before I got to rehab. And I'm like, thank God they're taking my phone away because... I've never, one, experienced this much hate on such a massive level before.

And that's when I realized I was like, oh, I don't think I can handle this right now.

Yeah, exactly. Well, I didn't think they have the audacity to play the clip on MLB. Like I was like, oh, my God. But I will say. At the time, I know, like, politics was, like, really bubbling. And I feel like there was just a lot of angst in general during that time.

So, if anything, I feel like, at least, if anything, I'm fine with being America's punching bag because for one moment, everybody was united in the fact that that was awful. So, I feel like I united... So you're welcome, in a way.

I think the biggest backlash was when I because when I posted like, hey, I'm sorry I was drunk. Apologize to MLB and like I'm checking into rehab. Like that was the most vulnerable I think I've ever been on admitting something like that. Because I had the thought of like, well, maybe I won't tell anybody that I'm going and I'll just like. disappear and then come back.

But for some reason, it felt like I got more hate from saying that I was going to rehab of just like, oh, you're blaming it on being drunk when you're just a bad singer. It showed me a lot about, one, how sensitive I am, and two, just the lack of empathy in general, which I didn't think, I don't know, I guess I hadn't been exposed to that at that level before.

But I hope it's not pointed at me as a person. I think there's just a lot of anger that people need to

That would make... I would be like, okay, if that's what you need to do... Yeah, right?

Yeah, just get it out, sister.

it's some version of a 12 year old, you know, basically, which I, I feel like, I mean, that's so great that you recognize that, you know,

relatively early on in this process for you because for me it's it is new and so i'm learning new boundaries of of what i will read and what i won't which i never had to worry about before but it's kind of it's kind of freeing in a way because i do care what people think about me but i i'm realizing that i care more what they think about my music

and my songwriting and that, I mean, they can judge how I look, what I wear, like all these things that, I mean, are kind of pointless. But to me, what I care about is the things that I really care about, which is music and songwriting. So if, and I realize that some people won't like that either, but I just, that's.

I think I want to be less precious about it moving forward, especially because... I was so terrified of like fucking up for so long in my career.

And I feel like now that I've done that on such a massive scale, it feels like the bandaid has been ripped off and that I can show that I am a human and that it's, you know, everyone thinks celebrities are a certain way or whatever, but I'm, I'm more comfortable showing up as a human being now, I think. And so whatever that looks like on social media is,

probably going to be more transparent than i have been in the past just because i was so afraid that somebody would take something the wrong way or i would offend somebody with something that i wore or like just all those things and now i feel like all those voices are not completely gone but they're they're they're not as loud yeah i mean the the more people know that they can get to you the more they'll try type of thing and the more you show people like

Yes. So that was actually the other really meaningful thing that happened after the anthem. I was expecting no one to reach out or like, but there was just so much outpouring of love from female country artists in Nashville. And I actually felt like so loved and seen like going into rehab. That's lovely. El King was like, this is just all part of it, girl.

And she's obviously been there before, too. And Kelsey Ballerini was like, welcome to the worst parts of this job. And like, It was mostly women and like Karen Fairchild from Little Big Town. And that really meant a lot to me because I feel like women in country music have had to stick together based on very obvious things because it's like a very male-dominated genre.

But for them to be like, hey, we've all been there. Yeah, you're not alone. Yeah. It was very meaningful. And Carlos Santana randomly was like... Yeah, have never spoken to him before in my life. And he asked my management, he's like, hey, can I get Ingrid's number?

Right? I was like, hello? I was like in rehab. I was like, hi there. What are you? What's up? It's me. Yeah, it's me, your long lost friend. But he was so kind and so supportive and was just like, you know, if you ever want to do a song, like, you know where to find me. And he like sent me flowers. And I was like, did you say yes? Yeah. I was like, I will pencil you in, sir.

And actually this rehab has a studio. So if you want to like pop by here, like, please feel free.

She redeemed herself. I did.

Well, it was very recent. That was like on Friday. Yeah, you crushed. How did it feel? It was great.

I wonder why.

I'm like, I actually sang it. And actually people still are like, oh, she's still drunk. Like she's singing it so slow. And I'm like, well, I'm singing it slowly because it was actually harder to sing this time around because the first time I had in ears, which is where you can hear yourself. Yeah.

I didn't hear myself the first time cause I wasn't mentally there, but the second time they didn't have in ears. So, and it was in an arena. So you have to sing slower because you're the, the echo is constantly bouncing back at you.

Yeah. Still crush. So I did. And it felt, I, when I tell you, like, I have never been more nervous about something.

Like, Oh, my. The only thing getting me through it was the thought like I never have to sing this song again. Yeah.

It was a bit of both because I am a competitive person and... Originally, I told my team, I was like, I'm actually never singing that song again. And we were just going to move on and talk about it a lot. But as time went on and I was writing more music and I was like, I think...

Actually, for my own mental well-being and to be able to close this chapter, like, I need to do this for myself, even though I hate this idea. Because if you bomb the anthem twice, your career is over. Like, truly. Especially after... Can you imagine bombing... The stakes are high. Yeah, it's very high. Like, there's really no coming back from that. Yeah. So...

Yeah, part of me just needed to do it to prove to myself that I could and to show people who maybe didn't know me outside of that. Like I actually am a singer and I've been doing this for a long time and it actually does mean a lot to me and yeah. I take it seriously. So how long was the like after you finished? I the next day was very different than the next day. Yeah.

I the amount of I didn't realize how much weight I was carrying with it. And so when I woke up the next day and it was gone, I was like, oh, I had no idea I would feel this much relief. Wow. And yeah, it didn't the video didn't blow up as much as the first one, because I just think I just think sometimes people like.

Yeah. I'm like, how do I say this without saying people can be shitty sometimes?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. It was definitely more for me to do it. And that way I didn't have to like talk about it as much because I just went back out and did it and was just like, end of story. I did it. You guys can stop trolling me. But it turns out they can still troll you even after you nail it.

Yes, I have.

Yes. I mean, the significance of Footprints was really more why I wanted that song to come out first. I actually wrote it a couple years ago for my siblings, all four of them. Because I was the first one to leave home and leave the cult. Just kidding. It wasn't a cult. It was a very loving family. And I felt like I had left them behind in a way.

And I didn't want them to feel like I was abandoning them. But just to show them like, hey, you can learn from my mistakes. But I also wrote it from on top of a mountain of things were going well in my career. I was getting nominated for things. And I was like... oh, see, like, look, you can do this too.

Like if I can do it, but I listened to it again after getting out of rehab and it hit different because I felt like, I was listening to it walking up the mountain this time as opposed to being up there already. And it meant more to me because I wanted them to see, like, one, your older sister is crazy but resilient. And, like, even after all this... Like, you can still do this.

And if you ever want, just know that, like, the path that I'm going on is to show that, like, you can also pursue your dreams and do things. And so to me, I wanted Footprints to be the first song because it hit different from where I'm at in life now. Wow. I mean, I tell them all the time, like I try to lead by example. I'm like, don't follow all my footprints. Right.

Specifically not into the baseball stadium. But I think for me, it's important for them to know like you you can do you can go out and pursue your dreams. Not exactly in the way that I have, but it is possible. But also just like.

Exactly. That's what I've been told.

Yeah.

I think so. I also love a good comeback story. It feels more like just I by no means, like no one should take my advice and no one should be like, you know, following my example after I release a song like Rip Prince. But I'm just like, it feels like a comeback, but it's also just feels like a return to something that's always been there. And so because I think people make mistakes. And so to then

come out and be like i'm different i'm new i'm whatever it's like no i'm still me i'm still like the messy crazy you know introspective me but i feel more present in who i am as opposed to it's a thing because like comeback doesn't have to mean like oh my god i've recreated myself i'm a new person it's more like i've made a mistake i've worked on that mistake i'm

Um, pretty life changing. Um, she has been like my idol for such a long time. And, um, she just transcends timelines and genres and, and a lot of it is because of her authenticity as an artist and as a songwriter and just as a human. And it's rare that you see that as artists get older, I find, um, But it's almost like she's really embraced her journey and has really leaned into who she is.

And I think that's what makes her so magical is that she does not apologize. She just shows up as herself and has for decades. And to see that, you know, because her and I are obviously at very different places in our lives and careers. But it was so inspiring to see her still doing the thing that she loves and like the fans that came out were from all walks of life, like all different ages.

Like it wasn't just this one thing. It was, it was really powerful to see how many lives and, you know, how many generations she transcends. And, I was honestly shocked that I was there, but I felt very at home with her fans. It felt like everybody appreciated storytelling and just being real and truthful. And yeah, it was very inspiring. I definitely want to be her when I grow up.

They fluctuate. After being on the road, I'll say I can't wait to get back in the studio. I am done performing. And then when I'm in the studio for months at a time, I'm like, I can't wait to get out of here and jump around stage. But I will say I think songwriting is probably where I'm more comfortable just because I feel like I can process my thoughts better.

in the moment but being on stage has its own energy it's like it feels more communal than songwriting does songwriting can feel a little isolating whereas performing on stage you just there's like this energy of everybody in the room that is hard not to feed off of and feels very um like life-giving in a way

Yeah. Yeah. So how that happened. So Charlie, she is a very good songwriter. Like she's written songs for like Icon of Pop and like she's also started as a songwriter and then turned into artist. And so Boys was actually the first outside song that she wanted to record, which to me was crazy because I looked up to her as a songwriter.

And so for me to get the call of like, hey, Charlie actually really likes this song. I'm like, well, does she want to like twerk? tweak it or and she obviously added her sauce to it but it was actually we never like collabed on it because the song was already done um and she yeah it was the first time that she took a song that she didn't write how does that feel for you to like

Yeah. So when I started switching or transitioning from just a songwriter to an artist, the whole reason that happened was because I started writing songs that were very personal to me and like my story. And artists wanted to cut the songs and I'd be like, no. And then my publisher was like, well, then... You sing. Yeah.

Or they're just like, well, you're supposed to want other people to sing these songs. I'm like, yeah, but they're my stories and I'm having a hard time letting these go. And so that was like kind of the biggest reason I became an artist was because I didn't want other people pretending that my story was theirs. But... There are many songs where I'm like, this is obviously not for me.

Like, I would never say that. Like, boys being one of them, you know, as much as that side of me comes out a lot, I'm like, I am not like that all the time. And I would like to think I am. It's almost like me talking about somebody that maybe I'd want to be one day, you know? But I know at my core, it's like saying that you're a wolf, but really, you know, you're like a fox, right?

You know, you're like, this is me. And you're like, this is not me.

I'm just joking. Yeah, I'm joking. No one would believe me, you know. So whenever I write for other artists, I'm always hoping that they can hear themselves in it because that's what matters to me. I'm like, does this resonate with you? And obviously there will always be a part of me in those songs, but it's almost to like help facilitate them as opposed to being like, this is about me.

So humble. No. No, I'm being honest. I'm forgetting.

Let's go.

oh okay normal like high school for like you know just to integrate with society right what was yours like um very similar okay um oh then that's like that's that's normal that's like yeah well except i started in preschool through like second grade maybe i went to like normal public school but then it was getting harder to pull us out of school because we were starting to learn like

pretty important things like reading and stuff. And my dad was a major league baseball coach and he traveled a lot and, and spring training is a thing every year. Uh, he started with the Detroit tigers and then he was with the Rockies for most of my childhood. And then he ended with the Mets. Yeah, hence why the MLB humiliation really stung on multiple levels.

Oh, a lot of old retired players reached out to him, let me tell you, being like, is your daughter okay? And he was like, uh, no. She's not. She's not. But so my mom decided to homeschool us because we would have to

be pulled out of school a lot to travel with him for like months at a time okay so that was the reason and it was fine we we did those like for those of you who are homeschooled you'll know this it's like you get this once a week go hang out with other homeschooler classes um it was called a k-12 program so once a week we would integrate with other homeschoolers and that's when i

remember thinking like oh I'm a cool homeschooler because everybody else in the the homeschool world like there was a reason why you got homeschooled you know like there was just a lot of stuff going on and a lot of it was like religious repression or like something like that but then I

I started playing sports and got pretty serious about it when I was 13 or 14 is when you start doing competitive club sports. And so my parents were like, well, it's time to put you in public school then in order to start building that resume. So they actually put me in public school in eighth grade.

Oh, it would be one thing.

Yes, especially the last year of middle school. Like it'd be one thing to go to high school because it's like you, you know, people are awkward. Everyone's awkward. And like you're coming in from different counties and like everyone's kind of like it's a new batch of people.

Yes. Like it was it was like breaking into like the cool kids club last minute, like when when they were about to, you know, leave and they were just like, we don't really know what to do with you because like we're kind of done here. And I'm like, yeah, totally. I get it. I get it. I don't need to be accepted.

So that was a traumatizing year for sure because my parents were also very conservative and sheltered us from a lot of things. And so when I got to middle school, I really had no idea what was going on. And I wasn't allowed to wear makeup and had to dress...

very, very, very modestly, and I felt like I learned so much in such a short period of time of, like, you know, oh, why is this girl crying in the bathroom over this guy? Like, what happened? And, like... Oh, like, what's a push-up bra? I'm like, what does that do? I'm like, can I have one?

Yes! Like, what? I'm like, do you do the whole one? Or just up here? And the knee seems hard. The knee seems... I'm like, why are you rolling up your gym shorts so high? I'm like, you're not going to be able to do anything. And like tying your shirt up and making it a crop top. I'm like, does that help you play better? I'm like, I don't know. I feel like that would hurt in dodgeball, you know?

So it's just, there was like all these things that I felt like an outsider, which is why I feel like

social norms to me are such a is such an interesting concept because they change so much and like they change based on wherever you go and like they're a constantly evolving thing and and some people take them really seriously and some don't and like as somebody who is still feel I feel like I'm learning something every day it is a fascinating concept to me of like

how we choose to interact with each other and like what's acceptable.

Oh my gosh.

It'll be great though.

I have. Not in a long time, though. I've had a lot of great memories at the Opry, for sure. But yeah, this will be my first time coming back in a couple years. How are you feeling? I'm excited because it feels very familiar, but also very... accepting. The country community, they're fiercely loyal.

And so I feel like it's kind of a nice welcome back into society because country music bands really want to relate to you and they really want to hear your stories. And I feel like that's what I love about it so much. And I think that Opry has captured that for

for longer than i've been alive and has done that for so many people so um i'm excited yeah i'm gonna play footprints for the first time there on piano oh my god so we'll see if they like it well they will of course it says here you're passionate about comedy and comedians you're very funny by the way oh thank you but do you have any fave comedians that you're following right now

I mean, there are so many. I feel like I've watched everyone's new Netflix specials, like when there was the writer's strike, you know, and I feel like Netflix ran out of like, you know, content. And they were like, let's give every comedian a special. And I was like, yes. So, yeah, I feel like, well, I've always loved Bill Burr because he's just, you know, very straightforward.

But I also love Nikki Glaser. I've loved her for a minute and I love that she's like finally getting her moment.

Oh, I just love her. Obviously, Dave Chappelle is like one of the OG and Tennessee man. What's his name? Oh, my God. He hosted... Oh, Theo Vaughn, of course. Yes, him. He is wild. I'm really happy.

Yeah. It's the way that he says it to where you're like, sure, man. It's like he's just asking a question, I guess. Yeah. You're just like, only you could ask that. And it's very, yeah, he's wild. What Tennessee man are you talking about? Nate Bargatze.

His dryness gives me so much life. And he's also been doing it for such a long time. So I feel like

He's having a moment too. Did you ever think that was a path you might take? No. I feel like there are similarities in songwriting and comedy writing, which is why I think I get into it so much because they're also writing... you know, in country music, you have like that twist at the end or like that wordplay or like how, how do you tie this up in the end?

And comedy is the same way to where you're almost like working backwards when you're writing a joke and to see like the transitions and like the writing part of it is so brilliant. And yeah, I feel like comedians are just as dark as songwriters are sometimes. And so it's almost like your brains kind of understand each other.

And at least in Nashville, like a lot of the songwriters and the comedians like are all friends because there's like this understood, you know, ability to write in hopes that you're bringing other people in.

uh more joy or to make other people feel more understood and so i just love that about comedy sometimes it's i i mean i i'm not a fan of all comedy i feel like sometimes i'm like hmm no that didn't that didn't do that you know sometimes people have some misses agreed yeah amen

Yeah, I'm really into Severance right now. I was on Reddit the other night.

Okay, same. Spoiler alert.

I feel like... And this is like... I'm worried I just say it because I don't want people to be like, yeah, there's no way. But there's... I feel like she is recovering her brain. And so it's almost like if he breaks out of it, it's almost like they need him in order for her to build her brain back in a way.

I think Lumen staged her death to get her.

Well, do we think she did get in a car wreck when she had brain damage and part of Lumen's thing is to rebuild someone's brain?

Oh.

I do too. I don't, I, yeah.

The fact that she's still wanting to see, yeah. There's a lot going on. I feel like I'm starting to focus on Bert too now.

Is he a part of it?

He is because his partner got a little wine whatever and was like, oh yeah, like you were there like 20 years ago. And he was like, oh, you've had too much to drink. Obviously I was only there seven years. And like the fact that before the guy left and he like reestablished, like it was, he gets confused. It was only, which means he was part of making it. Oh.

And so to me, he must have done something really bad because he was atoning for his sins. True. So many questions.

Anyway.

Thank you guys for having me.

Is there an album coming out? There might be. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much.