James 'Baby Doll' Dixon
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
No, we have not.
No, we have not.
And he's also like cooking like a wild man with this really bad shoulder. It's impressive.
And he's also like cooking like a wild man with this really bad shoulder. It's impressive.
Baby, you get to go fourth. Who's your pick? I'm doing the Swede. Aberg. Ludwig? Ludwig Aberg. It's kind of Oberg, isn't it? It's Oberg.
Baby, you get to go fourth. Who's your pick? I'm doing the Swede. Aberg. Ludwig? Ludwig Aberg. It's kind of Oberg, isn't it? It's Oberg.
It's freaking Swedish. Oberg.
It's freaking Swedish. Oberg.
I'm going with the. Say it right. Always. This one's easy. I'm going with Kapka. As my second pick. Aberg played so... Oberg played so impressively last year. Aberg or Oberg? Both of them played so impressively.
I'm going with the. Say it right. Always. This one's easy. I'm going with Kapka. As my second pick. Aberg played so... Oberg played so impressively last year. Aberg or Oberg? Both of them played so impressively.
Bergy. Ludwig... He hits the ball a country mile, number one. He's got the short game. He finished, I believe, second last year, if I'm not mistaken. And I think he's one of the absolute future stars of the tour and will win many majors in his career.
Bergy. Ludwig... He hits the ball a country mile, number one. He's got the short game. He finished, I believe, second last year, if I'm not mistaken. And I think he's one of the absolute future stars of the tour and will win many majors in his career.
Yeah, right? In general. No, but he's always a threat in the majors. He's had a very good recent history, Kepka, in the Masters. I'm not sure where his game is because I don't watch Liv. Is that a political decision? I feel like he's always... and could be a threat this week. All right. We got a lot of lib guys already. We have two.
Yeah, right? In general. No, but he's always a threat in the majors. He's had a very good recent history, Kepka, in the Masters. I'm not sure where his game is because I don't watch Liv. Is that a political decision? I feel like he's always... and could be a threat this week. All right. We got a lot of lib guys already. We have two.
What a day.
What a day.
Was it fun? It was a lot of fun. It really was. I had a great time with you guys. I really did. Yeah, because you wouldn't shut up.
Was it fun? It was a lot of fun. It really was. I had a great time with you guys. I really did. Yeah, because you wouldn't shut up.
But, you know, I do like talking golf with house. because I think we have a very similar handicap and also a somewhat similar passion for the game.
But, you know, I do like talking golf with house. because I think we have a very similar handicap and also a somewhat similar passion for the game.
He was very intently listening.
He was very intently listening.
I did. It was like the evolution of my game from age 12 to 60.
I did. It was like the evolution of my game from age 12 to 60.
I didn't mean to annoy you guys with it. I just get so excited. He's getting upset now. No, I'm not upset. When I walk those hollowed grounds, I get this energy about it. I can't help myself. I'm obsessed.
I didn't mean to annoy you guys with it. I just get so excited. He's getting upset now. No, I'm not upset. When I walk those hollowed grounds, I get this energy about it. I can't help myself. I'm obsessed.
All right, tomorrow, I'll walk with you guys tomorrow.
All right, tomorrow, I'll walk with you guys tomorrow.
Very brisk.
Very brisk.
Well, I only dropped, what, 4K today? That wasn't bad. It was right around the over-under.
Well, I only dropped, what, 4K today? That wasn't bad. It was right around the over-under.
Yes, it was.
Yes, it was.
Yes, two of my daughters did, yes.
Yes, two of my daughters did, yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Wake Forest. Wait. Oh, I said first I said, Cam, we're rooting for you. We're rooting for you. Best of luck this week. Didn't look up from peeling. Working on the banana.
Wake Forest. Wait. Oh, I said first I said, Cam, we're rooting for you. We're rooting for you. Best of luck this week. Didn't look up from peeling. Working on the banana.
And as I said, as I said, Wake Forest guy, Wake Forest connection. He continued to peel the banana and stick it in his mouth and look the other way.
And as I said, as I said, Wake Forest guy, Wake Forest connection. He continued to peel the banana and stick it in his mouth and look the other way.
He'd be lucky to know me.
He'd be lucky to know me.
I have had multiple interactions with him.
I have had multiple interactions with him.
I don't want to say we're neighbors at the Bears Club, but we're neighbors at the Bears Club. So you position yourself. He's always been a wonderful guy to me and very kind. He's a gentleman.
I don't want to say we're neighbors at the Bears Club, but we're neighbors at the Bears Club. So you position yourself. He's always been a wonderful guy to me and very kind. He's a gentleman.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, because it sounds so ridiculous. His house is so incredibly beautiful. But does that mean you're neighbors with him at the Bears Club? I mean, he's around the corner. Yeah, there's only 80 houses.
Yeah, because it sounds so ridiculous. His house is so incredibly beautiful. But does that mean you're neighbors with him at the Bears Club? I mean, he's around the corner. Yeah, there's only 80 houses.
He's kind of a neighbor. That doesn't mean he knows you. No, I didn't say he knows me well, but he doesn't know me well, but when he sees me, he knows who I am. How's that?
He's kind of a neighbor. That doesn't mean he knows you. No, I didn't say he knows me well, but he doesn't know me well, but when he sees me, he knows who I am. How's that?
My daddy's the Simmons wing.
My daddy's the Simmons wing.
Cousin Sal's my outdoor grill. Come on. That just means you're a shitty agent.
Cousin Sal's my outdoor grill. Come on. That just means you're a shitty agent.
Giant, giant trap.
Giant, giant trap.
So, Sal, do you want to reenact what baby said? But here's the other side of it. Imagine if he came over, how great that fucking moment would have been, right? Wouldn't that have been cool? But what did you say?
So, Sal, do you want to reenact what baby said? But here's the other side of it. Imagine if he came over, how great that fucking moment would have been, right? Wouldn't that have been cool? But what did you say?
He cracked a little smile. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it.
He cracked a little smile. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it.
So you were hoping. I had just, in my defense. Yeah. He wins the players two weeks ago or three. How many weeks ago was that? Three weeks ago now.
So you were hoping. I had just, in my defense. Yeah. He wins the players two weeks ago or three. How many weeks ago was that? Three weeks ago now.
And I saw him in the men's grill. And I, of course, congratulated him profusely. Like a thousand people did. And he was sitting with Shane Lowry at the table. And I talked to him for a minute and, you know, did the baby doll thing. What is the baby doll thing? I think we saw it today.
And I saw him in the men's grill. And I, of course, congratulated him profusely. Like a thousand people did. And he was sitting with Shane Lowry at the table. And I talked to him for a minute and, you know, did the baby doll thing. What is the baby doll thing? I think we saw it today.
I thought maybe it was semi-fresh in his mind. So that's why I had... A modicum of confidence that he was going to go, oh, baby doll, okay, I'll look, whatever. Didn't work out that way.
I thought maybe it was semi-fresh in his mind. So that's why I had... A modicum of confidence that he was going to go, oh, baby doll, okay, I'll look, whatever. Didn't work out that way.
I feel like they're actually... I know there, but like he's played this tournament, you know, 20 times, 15 times. It's loose out there in these practice rounds. All right. So he just doesn't like you. Yeah, I guess. So 0 for 2 is the legacy. I was 0 for 2.
I feel like they're actually... I know there, but like he's played this tournament, you know, 20 times, 15 times. It's loose out there in these practice rounds. All right. So he just doesn't like you. Yeah, I guess. So 0 for 2 is the legacy. I was 0 for 2.
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
That was really it. There's not much to it. You are the... You are the guy who coined it.
That was really it. There's not much to it. You are the... You are the guy who coined it.
True.
True.
Correct.
Correct.
Yes, I did think that. And be like, oh, that guy I really like. Right, yeah, totally. Isn't that insane of me? But yes, that was what was going through my fucked up mind.
Yes, I did think that. And be like, oh, that guy I really like. Right, yeah, totally. Isn't that insane of me? But yes, that was what was going through my fucked up mind.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That's exactly it. And I know he's a he's a really like decent guy. When you, when you talk to him, he's a gentleman beyond belief.
That's exactly it. And I know he's a he's a really like decent guy. When you, when you talk to him, he's a gentleman beyond belief.
No, because he just is. And, and like, he's not some, you know, disengaged guy and uh he's he's always very polite and right and engaged so i thought maybe and it was relatively recent that we we bullshitted and uh oh for two didn't i say i tried that wasn't really the highlight sort of the highlight for me was we were talking to a member of augusta national and
No, because he just is. And, and like, he's not some, you know, disengaged guy and uh he's he's always very polite and right and engaged so i thought maybe and it was relatively recent that we we bullshitted and uh oh for two didn't i say i tried that wasn't really the highlight sort of the highlight for me was we were talking to a member of augusta national and
I did bring it up.
I did bring it up.
Yes. Yes. Thank you for the refresher. Yes. And I could, he was talking about the, the ladies amateur being held at Augusta, which is picking up steam here, which, which I think one of the things I learned today is baby's very proud to be on the board of Wake Forest. I am. It's an honor. It really is. It's an amazing.
Yes. Yes. Thank you for the refresher. Yes. And I could, he was talking about the, the ladies amateur being held at Augusta, which is picking up steam here, which, which I think one of the things I learned today is baby's very proud to be on the board of Wake Forest. I am. It's an honor. It really is. It's an amazing.
Jimmy's like under Jon Stewart. Of course.
Jimmy's like under Jon Stewart. Of course.
Remember when The Bachelor, Matt James, was in there for like a year?
Remember when The Bachelor, Matt James, was in there for like a year?
He was gaining. You were dropping his name everywhere. He was gaining, absolutely. Well, hey, you're only The Bachelor once, right?
He was gaining. You were dropping his name everywhere. He was gaining, absolutely. Well, hey, you're only The Bachelor once, right?
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
Interesting. And decided to get a hat. Is that what it was? Yeah, because they didn't have it at the... He was in the pro shop for like an hour and a half and then...
Interesting. And decided to get a hat. Is that what it was? Yeah, because they didn't have it at the... He was in the pro shop for like an hour and a half and then...
I mean, come on, dude. A little fucking hat hurt your neck? What happened?
I mean, come on, dude. A little fucking hat hurt your neck? What happened?
Yes, there are smoking areas we could lead you to. Yes, there's a designated smoking area over here. I can escort you. It's like, I just put it out already, okay? You don't need to escort me. I'll be lighting one in about five minutes anyway.
Yes, there are smoking areas we could lead you to. Yes, there's a designated smoking area over here. I can escort you. It's like, I just put it out already, okay? You don't need to escort me. I'll be lighting one in about five minutes anyway.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
No, you don't. You don't, but if you love golf like we do, it's just so unique. It's such a different... Everything about it is so... it's like if he died and went to heaven and that was, that was like field of dreams, cornfield. It really, it is that. And, uh, and also like, I just love being around anything golf.
No, you don't. You don't, but if you love golf like we do, it's just so unique. It's such a different... Everything about it is so... it's like if he died and went to heaven and that was, that was like field of dreams, cornfield. It really, it is that. And, uh, and also like, I just love being around anything golf.
And that is kind of the, this is the, the, the cradle and apex of golf and golf fans. And it's just my whole vibe, you know? Uh, I love it.
And that is kind of the, this is the, the, the cradle and apex of golf and golf fans. And it's just my whole vibe, you know? Uh, I love it.
Sal had withdrawal for the first like two hours. You did.
Sal had withdrawal for the first like two hours. You did.
Yeah, you really were like jonesing for that phone.
Yeah, you really were like jonesing for that phone.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right. To like, just kind of like acclimate yourself to where you were and like accept it and then go, okay, I'm, I'm,
Right. To like, just kind of like acclimate yourself to where you were and like accept it and then go, okay, I'm, I'm,
For about 50, he's not wasting that.
For about 50, he's not wasting that.
That's what makes the Masters so different. Touch on what you said, Bill, which is, you know, it's obviously the only major that's always in the same location, right? So that alone sets it apart from all the other majors. And Like everyone's just so fucking happy to be there.
That's what makes the Masters so different. Touch on what you said, Bill, which is, you know, it's obviously the only major that's always in the same location, right? So that alone sets it apart from all the other majors. And Like everyone's just so fucking happy to be there.
Cause it is expensive and you have to, you know, get to it. And like, it's, it's a bucket list place that at least half those people, at least half are there for the first time. And everybody's just like, Holy shit. Pinch me. I did it.
Cause it is expensive and you have to, you know, get to it. And like, it's, it's a bucket list place that at least half those people, at least half are there for the first time. And everybody's just like, Holy shit. Pinch me. I did it.
Thanks for having us. I so hope Sal finishes last in the picks so that we can load down a pimento, pulled pork, egg salad, chicken biscuit.
Thanks for having us. I so hope Sal finishes last in the picks so that we can load down a pimento, pulled pork, egg salad, chicken biscuit.
So are you, baby.
So are you, baby.
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I think a little more now, but after the last... After the last one. After the pro shop at the Masters, which was... Thank you, Chang, for... Yeah, we're not talking about that. No, but yes. Yes. I would say I was an hour late. I actually went before you guys were supposed to leave. You were an hour late after we begged you not to be one minute late. Fair enough.
I think a little more now, but after the last... After the last one. After the pro shop at the Masters, which was... Thank you, Chang, for... Yeah, we're not talking about that. No, but yes. Yes. I would say I was an hour late. I actually went before you guys were supposed to leave. You were an hour late after we begged you not to be one minute late. Fair enough.
I was stopped by many people I knew and I just got distracted and it was a confluence of errors, including the women who administer the phones.
I was stopped by many people I knew and I just got distracted and it was a confluence of errors, including the women who administer the phones.
First telling me that Mr. Simmons took, because we checked our phones together, took all the phones.
First telling me that Mr. Simmons took, because we checked our phones together, took all the phones.
So I had to, I walked to the parking lot and you guys were gone. And I borrowed one of the parking attendant's phones.
So I had to, I walked to the parking lot and you guys were gone. And I borrowed one of the parking attendant's phones.
As I said, when we were there, it was a close second to cousin Sal shoving me very, very violently into the Rose garden at the white house. Right. Right. I said, I may be the only guy in the history of the white house who's been shoved into the bodily thrown into the, the, The Rose Garden. Yeah, so this was like a two out of 10 for things you got in the baby. Yeah, this was nothing.
As I said, when we were there, it was a close second to cousin Sal shoving me very, very violently into the Rose garden at the white house. Right. Right. I said, I may be the only guy in the history of the white house who's been shoved into the bodily thrown into the, the, The Rose Garden. Yeah, so this was like a two out of 10 for things you got in the baby. Yeah, this was nothing.
I mean, Secret Service pulled out their weapons. I was picking thorns out of my ass. Did they really pull out their weapons? They literally drew weapons. They converged, yeah. They converged. It was insane. Hands on. Yeah, it was a good time.
I mean, Secret Service pulled out their weapons. I was picking thorns out of my ass. Did they really pull out their weapons? They literally drew weapons. They converged, yeah. They converged. It was insane. Hands on. Yeah, it was a good time.
Baby, you know me, Mr. President. Come on. Bears Club. Don't throw me out. Vineyard Golf. Come on, baby.
Baby, you know me, Mr. President. Come on. Bears Club. Don't throw me out. Vineyard Golf. Come on, baby.
More than that. You put it together.
More than that. You put it together.
Sal. Yes.
Sal. Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
It was like those drills that at the NFL, you know, draft camps. Like the cones. The cones, the side to side. It was incredibly athletic.
It was like those drills that at the NFL, you know, draft camps. Like the cones. The cones, the side to side. It was incredibly athletic.
No, no. It was actually, I was very proud of myself. You almost fell over. You jumped so violently to the left. It was so like... for me at this stage of my life, at that stage, athletic. I've never seen Louis K laugh harder in the 25 years I've known him. He loved it.
No, no. It was actually, I was very proud of myself. You almost fell over. You jumped so violently to the left. It was so like... for me at this stage of my life, at that stage, athletic. I've never seen Louis K laugh harder in the 25 years I've known him. He loved it.
Well, that same day was Coca-Cola, which is also a pretty good story.
Well, that same day was Coca-Cola, which is also a pretty good story.
I have to set that up a little bit. Go ahead. Getting into the Coca-Cola headquarters in Atlanta, it's Fort Knox. There's three layers of security. It's like a big deal to be there. And I will give you an incredible amount of credit. We were sitting on opposite ends of a giant conference table. And, you know, only his superpower can kick in in those moments.
I have to set that up a little bit. Go ahead. Getting into the Coca-Cola headquarters in Atlanta, it's Fort Knox. There's three layers of security. It's like a big deal to be there. And I will give you an incredible amount of credit. We were sitting on opposite ends of a giant conference table. And, you know, only his superpower can kick in in those moments.
And it was a 25, 30 foot winging of a bottle cap. And it hit me square between the eyes. I mean, literally right between the eyes. And we stopped. I mean, we literally start arguing in the meeting. These Coca-Cola people were like, these people are insane. What is this? It was really insane. It was really crazy. But anyway.
And it was a 25, 30 foot winging of a bottle cap. And it hit me square between the eyes. I mean, literally right between the eyes. And we stopped. I mean, we literally start arguing in the meeting. These Coca-Cola people were like, these people are insane. What is this? It was really insane. It was really crazy. But anyway.
Early 2000s? Yeah. I'd say the early aughts as they say. Yeah.
Early 2000s? Yeah. I'd say the early aughts as they say. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Somewhere in there. Yeah. Somewhere in the, the 2002 to 2008 range. I would guess.
Yeah. Yeah. Somewhere in there. Yeah. Somewhere in the, the 2002 to 2008 range. I would guess.
It's amazing. Honestly, I love Sal. I love him. It's like a funeral? What is going on? No, but I love him. That's why it's so sad. It's just like it's so hard for me to get mad at him because I genuinely love him. Everybody does, obviously. And that's why he has the ability to terrorize people and get away with it. That plus he's got superhuman strength that kicks in when he needs it to.
It's amazing. Honestly, I love Sal. I love him. It's like a funeral? What is going on? No, but I love him. That's why it's so sad. It's just like it's so hard for me to get mad at him because I genuinely love him. Everybody does, obviously. And that's why he has the ability to terrorize people and get away with it. That plus he's got superhuman strength that kicks in when he needs it to.
Don't be afraid. No, I'm not afraid. I just know you could bend me into a pretzel. But other than that, we've had... I mean, the stories are... I mean, I was leaving to catch a red eye. I had my bags packed and we taped Jimmy Kimmel Live. I had my luggage there and somehow somebody catered in Bay city. It was a nine year anniversary of the show. Nine year anniversary. So that's when it was.
Don't be afraid. No, I'm not afraid. I just know you could bend me into a pretzel. But other than that, we've had... I mean, the stories are... I mean, I was leaving to catch a red eye. I had my bags packed and we taped Jimmy Kimmel Live. I had my luggage there and somehow somebody catered in Bay city. It was a nine year anniversary of the show. Nine year anniversary. So that's when it was.
He, for whatever insane reason, he decides to take the tray of meatballs and red sauce and just dump it over my head violently. Um, I was covered. We have pictures of that. It was, it was on the ceiling. I'm not kidding. The sauce was on the ceiling and I'm like leaving in 20 minutes to go to. I mean, if I didn't kill you then, when would I have done it?
He, for whatever insane reason, he decides to take the tray of meatballs and red sauce and just dump it over my head violently. Um, I was covered. We have pictures of that. It was, it was on the ceiling. I'm not kidding. The sauce was on the ceiling and I'm like leaving in 20 minutes to go to. I mean, if I didn't kill you then, when would I have done it?
Yeah, he did. He lived. We think. You are the most twisted bastard. Really, you are.
Yeah, he did. He lived. We think. You are the most twisted bastard. Really, you are.
I don't know why. I thought that was a nice toast.
I don't know why. I thought that was a nice toast.
He literally missed the second half of the dinner. You were on a call. Did Babydoll talk to you? I think I literally spoke to every person at that. Who has a nine o'clock E.T. business call? Babydoll, I got business to do. I got deals to close. You had a dinner. It's like we flew out here to like schmooze people.
He literally missed the second half of the dinner. You were on a call. Did Babydoll talk to you? I think I literally spoke to every person at that. Who has a nine o'clock E.T. business call? Babydoll, I got business to do. I got deals to close. You had a dinner. It's like we flew out here to like schmooze people.
I think that's what goes on. How dare you?
I think that's what goes on. How dare you?
You said nice things about him. Of course.
You said nice things about him. Of course.
He was like, really? Wow, that's really nice to hear. It was very sweet.
He was like, really? Wow, that's really nice to hear. It was very sweet.
Yeah, where did you learn this? Honestly. I don't like violence. Blood is a big expense. You know what I mean? So I go the opposite way. So, so, but no, seriously, I, I, I meant what I said. And by the way, you were right. Josh was a hell of a nice guy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No names. Sorry. Sorry. It's just not in the right name.
Yeah, where did you learn this? Honestly. I don't like violence. Blood is a big expense. You know what I mean? So I go the opposite way. So, so, but no, seriously, I, I, I meant what I said. And by the way, you were right. Josh was a hell of a nice guy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No names. Sorry. Sorry. It's just not in the right name.
We'll make your call. Josh is the only guy left. Wrong Josh. Sorry.
We'll make your call. Josh is the only guy left. Wrong Josh. Sorry.
That's why I call people baby doll. There you go.
That's why I call people baby doll. There you go.
I liked a lot of those guys that I met today.
I liked a lot of those guys that I met today.
You can't get country clubs and cars, bro. Absolutely not. I have my priorities. So we're up to nine? That's the number? You got rid of a couple. I think so. I'd have to do the math. Ridiculous.
You can't get country clubs and cars, bro. Absolutely not. I have my priorities. So we're up to nine? That's the number? You got rid of a couple. I think so. I'd have to do the math. Ridiculous.
I'm going to go with more. Right, how many could he? Is he paying for these country clubs, you think? I don't think so. I don't know that. Do you think country clubs charge Obama? They shouldn't. I mean, he served our country, so they should be honored to have him as a member, right? They should waive the initiation and have him just pay the dues.
I'm going to go with more. Right, how many could he? Is he paying for these country clubs, you think? I don't think so. I don't know that. Do you think country clubs charge Obama? They shouldn't. I mean, he served our country, so they should be honored to have him as a member, right? They should waive the initiation and have him just pay the dues.
Smoking all over the course. I'm a dues paying member. That's a lot of dues. How much is that? Is that like a million dollars? Yeah, that is a lot of dues, baby.
Smoking all over the course. I'm a dues paying member. That's a lot of dues. How much is that? Is that like a million dollars? Yeah, that is a lot of dues, baby.
I just love it. I love being able to go to different clubs and different states.
I just love it. I love being able to go to different clubs and different states.
No.
No.
But you get money back when they... What happens then? Some of them and some not. It depends on their arrangement with the members. But I don't plan on ever...
But you get money back when they... What happens then? Some of them and some not. It depends on their arrangement with the members. But I don't plan on ever...
But I have not golfed with him.
But I have not golfed with him.
No. Unless he said to me, call me Barack, I would never call him Barack.
No. Unless he said to me, call me Barack, I would never call him Barack.
Why not? I mean, yes. All right.
Why not? I mean, yes. All right.
Do you mean smokers or non-smokers? It doesn't matter. I mean, it has to be a realistic smoking. He was, at one time anyway, a light closet smoker, as I understand it.
Do you mean smokers or non-smokers? It doesn't matter. I mean, it has to be a realistic smoking. He was, at one time anyway, a light closet smoker, as I understand it.
Got it, got it. Hey, I would be too if I was... Who else? Anybody?
Got it, got it. Hey, I would be too if I was... Who else? Anybody?
Oh my God, that would have been amazing.
Oh my God, that would have been amazing.
Oh, exactly. By the way, Johnny Carson...
Oh, exactly. By the way, Johnny Carson...
One of maybe the top person in show business, you know how I say I've met everybody?
One of maybe the top person in show business, you know how I say I've met everybody?
That I never met. Really? And based on where my career went, he would have been number one on the list in the late night world of icons.
That I never met. Really? And based on where my career went, he would have been number one on the list in the late night world of icons.
Everybody loves Raymond probably had not premiered yet, so I don't know. I feel like Baby's had cigarettes probably with all the best possible people to have a cigarette with, right?
Everybody loves Raymond probably had not premiered yet, so I don't know. I feel like Baby's had cigarettes probably with all the best possible people to have a cigarette with, right?
You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't, baby didn't like that. Come on now. You're going to smoke. I mean, those filters alone. Right.
You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't, baby didn't like that. Come on now. You're going to smoke. I mean, those filters alone. Right.
Come on now.
Come on now.
But, uh, you reminded me of something. Uh, now I can't think of it about the, uh, Wait, what were we just talking about anyway? This agent that was really an honor? Yeah, before that. But anyway.
But, uh, you reminded me of something. Uh, now I can't think of it about the, uh, Wait, what were we just talking about anyway? This agent that was really an honor? Yeah, before that. But anyway.
Oh, that's what I was going to say. Thank you. I assume we're all huge Game of Thrones fans. Oh, this is good. Which one do you think it is, guys?
Oh, that's what I was going to say. Thank you. I assume we're all huge Game of Thrones fans. Oh, this is good. Which one do you think it is, guys?
You had a cigarette with Jon Snow? Cigarette. I like exchanged numbers with him because I smoked like two Emmys in a row with him. He was one of the greatest guys I've ever hung out with. And that was like, I couldn't believe I was smoking with Jon Snow. I can't believe the way you defended the North. That was fucking awesome. Let's have a smoke. Let's celebrate.
You had a cigarette with Jon Snow? Cigarette. I like exchanged numbers with him because I smoked like two Emmys in a row with him. He was one of the greatest guys I've ever hung out with. And that was like, I couldn't believe I was smoking with Jon Snow. I can't believe the way you defended the North. That was fucking awesome. Let's have a smoke. Let's celebrate.
But Kid Harrington was definitely up there. In fact, that's why I hung out with him. If I was a non-smoker, I never would have got to hang out with him. He was such a great guy, really. It was so fun.
But Kid Harrington was definitely up there. In fact, that's why I hung out with him. If I was a non-smoker, I never would have got to hang out with him. He was such a great guy, really. It was so fun.
It's good. It's a good matchup. That's why you liked him so much.
It's good. It's a good matchup. That's why you liked him so much.
What was the... I can't even remember. What was the little... The city that guarded the wall? I don't remember.
What was the... I can't even remember. What was the little... The city that guarded the wall? I don't remember.
Anyway, The Night Watch. That's what it was.
Anyway, The Night Watch. That's what it was.
In the early 90s.
In the early 90s.
But I think the line of the week, which I've enjoyed so much, is no matter what's gone on, Sal's like, listen, we're not looking for any trouble. It's really great.
But I think the line of the week, which I've enjoyed so much, is no matter what's gone on, Sal's like, listen, we're not looking for any trouble. It's really great.
What would that look like?
What would that look like?
Well, one thing for sure what would have to happen is.
Well, one thing for sure what would have to happen is.
Well, it's like hot wings. Hot wings. Whoever comes in must smoke. Hot ones. Yeah. If you're in the room, you're smoking. Of course. Multiple cigarettes. Yes. The entire time.
Well, it's like hot wings. Hot wings. Whoever comes in must smoke. Hot ones. Yeah. If you're in the room, you're smoking. Of course. Multiple cigarettes. Yes. The entire time.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
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Did anyone ever see that movie? It didn't even matter.
Did anyone ever see that movie? It didn't even matter.
She does? John was really good in that.
She does? John was really good in that.
I saw it. I don't remember it, but I know he was good in it at the time. Can't you tell the Larry Sanders story or are you still not allowed? I don't know if John would want that. Oh, let's hear it. I won't do it. Do you want to tell the Larry Sanders story? Out of respect to John, I'm not going to speak out of school.
I saw it. I don't remember it, but I know he was good in it at the time. Can't you tell the Larry Sanders story or are you still not allowed? I don't know if John would want that. Oh, let's hear it. I won't do it. Do you want to tell the Larry Sanders story? Out of respect to John, I'm not going to speak out of school.
Yes, that is accurate. I would think yes, but yes, it was never... guaranteed or firm, but that was maybe the plan. And many people speculated on that. So that was, that's not speaking out of school.
Yes, that is accurate. I would think yes, but yes, it was never... guaranteed or firm, but that was maybe the plan. And many people speculated on that. So that was, that's not speaking out of school.
I just don't want to, you know, listen, I can't talk about clients deals and shit like that. That, that, that wouldn't be okay.
I just don't want to, you know, listen, I can't talk about clients deals and shit like that. That, that, that wouldn't be okay.
That's not true. let's just say yeah let's just say I actually can't talk about it but that was not the number one can't you just talk in vague where we don't actually say what happened but you can give us like a hint of what happened I'll just say it was some shenanigans in late night television and I'll leave it at that I know what it is you may or may not but
That's not true. let's just say yeah let's just say I actually can't talk about it but that was not the number one can't you just talk in vague where we don't actually say what happened but you can give us like a hint of what happened I'll just say it was some shenanigans in late night television and I'll leave it at that I know what it is you may or may not but
Listen, conflict is good. It can also benefit. My knowledge... of all those can often help each of them. But even as they're competing against each other.
Listen, conflict is good. It can also benefit. My knowledge... of all those can often help each of them. But even as they're competing against each other.
Or you worried one of them at some point was like, hey, what's going on here? Does he have my best interests? Of course I do. That's why. They know I always do. That is never in question. Ever. That's not what Jimmy said once. Any last questions, Shane, before we wrap? What happened with the gnomes, baby?
Or you worried one of them at some point was like, hey, what's going on here? Does he have my best interests? Of course I do. That's why. They know I always do. That is never in question. Ever. That's not what Jimmy said once. Any last questions, Shane, before we wrap? What happened with the gnomes, baby?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Most of them, so they can resell them on eBay for a profit. That obviously isn't my motivation.
Most of them, so they can resell them on eBay for a profit. That obviously isn't my motivation.
Yeah, speaking of Beanie Babies. Yeah, I had them. One could say that was freaking dumb. But I did it with the whole... You caught the Beanie Babies?
Yeah, speaking of Beanie Babies. Yeah, I had them. One could say that was freaking dumb. But I did it with the whole... You caught the Beanie Babies?
You know, God works in mysterious ways. You're absolutely right. It was a gift from God that I did not get that. It would have been so good. It would have been great.
You know, God works in mysterious ways. You're absolutely right. It was a gift from God that I did not get that. It would have been so good. It would have been great.
Turn your camera on. You're going to want to catch this. He would have, like, drop kicked it. You know, like, really smashed it badly somehow. I know. Baby, who's going to win the Masters? After first round today? I mean, I know Scheffler is always hard to bet against, but it's such a boring pick. Well, I picked Olberg, and I'm going to go with him. He's in the mix. He's in on.
Turn your camera on. You're going to want to catch this. He would have, like, drop kicked it. You know, like, really smashed it badly somehow. I know. Baby, who's going to win the Masters? After first round today? I mean, I know Scheffler is always hard to bet against, but it's such a boring pick. Well, I picked Olberg, and I'm going to go with him. He's in the mix. He's in on.
He had a really great shot, 32 on the back. I'm going with the guy picked here. Who do you have?
He had a really great shot, 32 on the back. I'm going with the guy picked here. Who do you have?
Yeah. What did he finish at? Plus what?
Yeah. What did he finish at? Plus what?
We talked about that earlier. He's in the mix. He's definitely in the mix. But who do you think will win?
We talked about that earlier. He's in the mix. He's definitely in the mix. But who do you think will win?
Can I ask you as the sports guy question? Yeah. Is this – is the Masters – arguably the greatest sporting event overall for like a weekend sport, like a more than one basketball game or one, you know, game seven of a World Series, is the Masters the best sporting event if you love, not even if you love golf, just in general.
Can I ask you as the sports guy question? Yeah. Is this – is the Masters – arguably the greatest sporting event overall for like a weekend sport, like a more than one basketball game or one, you know, game seven of a World Series, is the Masters the best sporting event if you love, not even if you love golf, just in general.
right it's so hard I had a million two different answers though it's like it's fun to go but you also want to be home on the last day so you can catch everything which is a televised event Sunday Masters is that the greatest day well it's the greatest if it's close good stuff's happening
right it's so hard I had a million two different answers though it's like it's fun to go but you also want to be home on the last day so you can catch everything which is a televised event Sunday Masters is that the greatest day well it's the greatest if it's close good stuff's happening
Yes. The history.
Yes. The history.
It's true.
It's true.
Yes.
Yes.
Why is that really tan guy screaming his name? I literally breathe it in. The smell, because I know olfactory, even though I probably don't have the smell I should have after all these cigarettes, I literally breathe it in to try to capture. Everything is... is uniquely Augusta National, even the smells.
Why is that really tan guy screaming his name? I literally breathe it in. The smell, because I know olfactory, even though I probably don't have the smell I should have after all these cigarettes, I literally breathe it in to try to capture. Everything is... is uniquely Augusta National, even the smells.
For the most part.
For the most part.
You mean like the Champions Dinner? Yeah. Oh, that's a great one. No-brainer. Here's what I'd say to you. They'd be lucky to have you, baby. Oh, wow. You're the new agent. You're the new agent.
You mean like the Champions Dinner? Yeah. Oh, that's a great one. No-brainer. Here's what I'd say to you. They'd be lucky to have you, baby. Oh, wow. You're the new agent. You're the new agent.
Never going there again. Jackasses. Here's what I would do with that. If they ever called, I'd say, you know what? We're honored. Right. for this offer. And can I stay in the course? In fact, he will obviously do it pro bono. Right. But there'll be just one little, one little cost. We get to play the course on Monday. We're all playing the course.
Never going there again. Jackasses. Here's what I would do with that. If they ever called, I'd say, you know what? We're honored. Right. for this offer. And can I stay in the course? In fact, he will obviously do it pro bono. Right. But there'll be just one little, one little cost. We get to play the course on Monday. We're all playing the course.
Really?
Really?
And throw in three gnomes.
And throw in three gnomes.
I've played it in my mind. What hole would you be the most excited to play? That's a great question. I'm going to say, I'm going to say 15 because I would want to see if I could get, yeah. I mean, if I really crushed my drive from the members team, there's an absolute chance that I could put it on in two. And we're talking about baby today or baby when the swing speed was at his apex.
I've played it in my mind. What hole would you be the most excited to play? That's a great question. I'm going to say, I'm going to say 15 because I would want to see if I could get, yeah. I mean, if I really crushed my drive from the members team, there's an absolute chance that I could put it on in two. And we're talking about baby today or baby when the swing speed was at his apex.
I will tell you, and then I will boil you. Very quick. I came within a razor's hair of getting on the course. Okay, good. I get, I'm going. I get invited on Monday. They play the, they allow the media to play. Yeah. In placements are the same as Sunday.
I will tell you, and then I will boil you. Very quick. I came within a razor's hair of getting on the course. Okay, good. I get, I'm going. I get invited on Monday. They play the, they allow the media to play. Yeah. In placements are the same as Sunday.
Okay. Les Moonves. Ray Romano, me, and someone else. I can't remember who. I'm literally in my garage. I'm ready to go. It's the next day. I'm home. It's Sunday. I'm literally taking toothpicks and cleaning the grooves of my irons. I'm ready to go. I'm not kidding. I'm shining my... I get a text from Ray. Baby doll, I'm so sorry. You got bumped. Less invited like the CEO of AT&T and you're out.
Okay. Les Moonves. Ray Romano, me, and someone else. I can't remember who. I'm literally in my garage. I'm ready to go. It's the next day. I'm home. It's Sunday. I'm literally taking toothpicks and cleaning the grooves of my irons. I'm ready to go. I'm not kidding. I'm shining my... I get a text from Ray. Baby doll, I'm so sorry. You got bumped. Less invited like the CEO of AT&T and you're out.
I'm really sorry. And that was it. I was on my way to go down there. And I got bumped at the last minute.
I'm really sorry. And that was it. I was on my way to go down there. And I got bumped at the last minute.
That was the end. The last we heard. Stuck it in my eyes. And that was the last. Yeah.
That was the end. The last we heard. Stuck it in my eyes. And that was the last. Yeah.
That is the last cut. Most insulting. That's about as sad as I've ever been. Oh, man. Yeah. But I'll get on. I know I will. I haven't really worked it. I haven't tried very hard. I figured it would come organically. I think we have to try to get more involved. We're going to make this happen for you, baby. Yeah. If you guys do that,
That is the last cut. Most insulting. That's about as sad as I've ever been. Oh, man. Yeah. But I'll get on. I know I will. I haven't really worked it. I haven't tried very hard. I figured it would come organically. I think we have to try to get more involved. We're going to make this happen for you, baby. Yeah. If you guys do that,
I love you more than I love you now, and I'll be forever indebted. How's that? Well, you're his agent now, so you're just basically on a contract. I got some papers out there, baby.
I love you more than I love you now, and I'll be forever indebted. How's that? Well, you're his agent now, so you're just basically on a contract. I got some papers out there, baby.
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I think a little more now, but after the last... After the last one. After the pro shop at the Masters, which was... Thank you, Chang, for... Yeah, we're not talking about that. No, but yes. Yes. I would say I was an hour late. I actually went before you guys were supposed to leave. You were an hour late after we begged you not to be one minute late. Fair enough.
I was stopped by many people I knew and I just got distracted and it was a confluence of errors, including the women who administer the phones.
First telling me that Mr. Simmons took, because we checked our phones together, took all the phones.
So I had to, I walked to the parking lot and you guys were gone. And I borrowed one of the parking attendant's phones.
As I said, when we were there, it was a close second to cousin Sal shoving me very, very violently into the Rose garden at the white house. Right. Right. I said, I may be the only guy in the history of the white house who's been shoved into the bodily thrown into the, the, The Rose Garden. Yeah, so this was like a two out of 10 for things you got in the baby. Yeah, this was nothing.
I mean, Secret Service pulled out their weapons. I was picking thorns out of my ass. Did they really pull out their weapons? They literally drew weapons. They converged, yeah. They converged. It was insane. Hands on. Yeah, it was a good time.
Baby, you know me, Mr. President. Come on. Bears Club. Don't throw me out. Vineyard Golf. Come on, baby.
More than that. You put it together.
Sal. Yes.
Yes.
It was like those drills that at the NFL, you know, draft camps. Like the cones. The cones, the side to side. It was incredibly athletic.
No, no. It was actually, I was very proud of myself. You almost fell over. You jumped so violently to the left. It was so like... for me at this stage of my life, at that stage, athletic. I've never seen Louis K laugh harder in the 25 years I've known him. He loved it.
Well, that same day was Coca-Cola, which is also a pretty good story.
I have to set that up a little bit. Go ahead. Getting into the Coca-Cola headquarters in Atlanta, it's Fort Knox. There's three layers of security. It's like a big deal to be there. And I will give you an incredible amount of credit. We were sitting on opposite ends of a giant conference table. And, you know, only his superpower can kick in in those moments.
And it was a 25, 30 foot winging of a bottle cap. And it hit me square between the eyes. I mean, literally right between the eyes. And we stopped. I mean, we literally start arguing in the meeting. These Coca-Cola people were like, these people are insane. What is this? It was really insane. It was really crazy. But anyway.
Early 2000s? Yeah. I'd say the early aughts as they say. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Somewhere in there. Yeah. Somewhere in the, the 2002 to 2008 range. I would guess.
It's amazing. Honestly, I love Sal. I love him. It's like a funeral? What is going on? No, but I love him. That's why it's so sad. It's just like it's so hard for me to get mad at him because I genuinely love him. Everybody does, obviously. And that's why he has the ability to terrorize people and get away with it. That plus he's got superhuman strength that kicks in when he needs it to.
Don't be afraid. No, I'm not afraid. I just know you could bend me into a pretzel. But other than that, we've had... I mean, the stories are... I mean, I was leaving to catch a red eye. I had my bags packed and we taped Jimmy Kimmel Live. I had my luggage there and somehow somebody catered in Bay city. It was a nine year anniversary of the show. Nine year anniversary. So that's when it was.
He, for whatever insane reason, he decides to take the tray of meatballs and red sauce and just dump it over my head violently. Um, I was covered. We have pictures of that. It was, it was on the ceiling. I'm not kidding. The sauce was on the ceiling and I'm like leaving in 20 minutes to go to. I mean, if I didn't kill you then, when would I have done it?
Yeah, he did. He lived. We think. You are the most twisted bastard. Really, you are.
I don't know why. I thought that was a nice toast.
He literally missed the second half of the dinner. You were on a call. Did Babydoll talk to you? I think I literally spoke to every person at that. Who has a nine o'clock E.T. business call? Babydoll, I got business to do. I got deals to close. You had a dinner. It's like we flew out here to like schmooze people.
I think that's what goes on. How dare you?
You said nice things about him. Of course.
He was like, really? Wow, that's really nice to hear. It was very sweet.
Yeah, where did you learn this? Honestly. I don't like violence. Blood is a big expense. You know what I mean? So I go the opposite way. So, so, but no, seriously, I, I, I meant what I said. And by the way, you were right. Josh was a hell of a nice guy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No names. Sorry. Sorry. It's just not in the right name.
We'll make your call. Josh is the only guy left. Wrong Josh. Sorry.
That's why I call people baby doll. There you go.
I liked a lot of those guys that I met today.
You can't get country clubs and cars, bro. Absolutely not. I have my priorities. So we're up to nine? That's the number? You got rid of a couple. I think so. I'd have to do the math. Ridiculous.
I'm going to go with more. Right, how many could he? Is he paying for these country clubs, you think? I don't think so. I don't know that. Do you think country clubs charge Obama? They shouldn't. I mean, he served our country, so they should be honored to have him as a member, right? They should waive the initiation and have him just pay the dues.
Smoking all over the course. I'm a dues paying member. That's a lot of dues. How much is that? Is that like a million dollars? Yeah, that is a lot of dues, baby.
I just love it. I love being able to go to different clubs and different states.
No.
But you get money back when they... What happens then? Some of them and some not. It depends on their arrangement with the members. But I don't plan on ever...
But I have not golfed with him.
No. Unless he said to me, call me Barack, I would never call him Barack.
Why not? I mean, yes. All right.
Do you mean smokers or non-smokers? It doesn't matter. I mean, it has to be a realistic smoking. He was, at one time anyway, a light closet smoker, as I understand it.
Got it, got it. Hey, I would be too if I was... Who else? Anybody?
Oh my God, that would have been amazing.
Oh, exactly. By the way, Johnny Carson...
One of maybe the top person in show business, you know how I say I've met everybody?
That I never met. Really? And based on where my career went, he would have been number one on the list in the late night world of icons.
Everybody loves Raymond probably had not premiered yet, so I don't know. I feel like Baby's had cigarettes probably with all the best possible people to have a cigarette with, right?
You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't, baby didn't like that. Come on now. You're going to smoke. I mean, those filters alone. Right.
Come on now.
But, uh, you reminded me of something. Uh, now I can't think of it about the, uh, Wait, what were we just talking about anyway? This agent that was really an honor? Yeah, before that. But anyway.
Oh, that's what I was going to say. Thank you. I assume we're all huge Game of Thrones fans. Oh, this is good. Which one do you think it is, guys?
You had a cigarette with Jon Snow? Cigarette. I like exchanged numbers with him because I smoked like two Emmys in a row with him. He was one of the greatest guys I've ever hung out with. And that was like, I couldn't believe I was smoking with Jon Snow. I can't believe the way you defended the North. That was fucking awesome. Let's have a smoke. Let's celebrate.
But Kid Harrington was definitely up there. In fact, that's why I hung out with him. If I was a non-smoker, I never would have got to hang out with him. He was such a great guy, really. It was so fun.
It's good. It's a good matchup. That's why you liked him so much.
What was the... I can't even remember. What was the little... The city that guarded the wall? I don't remember.
Anyway, The Night Watch. That's what it was.
In the early 90s.
But I think the line of the week, which I've enjoyed so much, is no matter what's gone on, Sal's like, listen, we're not looking for any trouble. It's really great.
What would that look like?
Well, one thing for sure what would have to happen is.
Well, it's like hot wings. Hot wings. Whoever comes in must smoke. Hot ones. Yeah. If you're in the room, you're smoking. Of course. Multiple cigarettes. Yes. The entire time.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
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Did anyone ever see that movie? It didn't even matter.
She does? John was really good in that.
I saw it. I don't remember it, but I know he was good in it at the time. Can't you tell the Larry Sanders story or are you still not allowed? I don't know if John would want that. Oh, let's hear it. I won't do it. Do you want to tell the Larry Sanders story? Out of respect to John, I'm not going to speak out of school.
Yes, that is accurate. I would think yes, but yes, it was never... guaranteed or firm, but that was maybe the plan. And many people speculated on that. So that was, that's not speaking out of school.
I just don't want to, you know, listen, I can't talk about clients deals and shit like that. That, that, that wouldn't be okay.
That's not true. let's just say yeah let's just say I actually can't talk about it but that was not the number one can't you just talk in vague where we don't actually say what happened but you can give us like a hint of what happened I'll just say it was some shenanigans in late night television and I'll leave it at that I know what it is you may or may not but
Listen, conflict is good. It can also benefit. My knowledge... of all those can often help each of them. But even as they're competing against each other.
Or you worried one of them at some point was like, hey, what's going on here? Does he have my best interests? Of course I do. That's why. They know I always do. That is never in question. Ever. That's not what Jimmy said once. Any last questions, Shane, before we wrap? What happened with the gnomes, baby?
Yeah.
Most of them, so they can resell them on eBay for a profit. That obviously isn't my motivation.
Yeah, speaking of Beanie Babies. Yeah, I had them. One could say that was freaking dumb. But I did it with the whole... You caught the Beanie Babies?
You know, God works in mysterious ways. You're absolutely right. It was a gift from God that I did not get that. It would have been so good. It would have been great.
Turn your camera on. You're going to want to catch this. He would have, like, drop kicked it. You know, like, really smashed it badly somehow. I know. Baby, who's going to win the Masters? After first round today? I mean, I know Scheffler is always hard to bet against, but it's such a boring pick. Well, I picked Olberg, and I'm going to go with him. He's in the mix. He's in on.
He had a really great shot, 32 on the back. I'm going with the guy picked here. Who do you have?
Yeah. What did he finish at? Plus what?
We talked about that earlier. He's in the mix. He's definitely in the mix. But who do you think will win?
Can I ask you as the sports guy question? Yeah. Is this – is the Masters – arguably the greatest sporting event overall for like a weekend sport, like a more than one basketball game or one, you know, game seven of a World Series, is the Masters the best sporting event if you love, not even if you love golf, just in general.
right it's so hard I had a million two different answers though it's like it's fun to go but you also want to be home on the last day so you can catch everything which is a televised event Sunday Masters is that the greatest day well it's the greatest if it's close good stuff's happening
Yes. The history.
It's true.
Yes.
Why is that really tan guy screaming his name? I literally breathe it in. The smell, because I know olfactory, even though I probably don't have the smell I should have after all these cigarettes, I literally breathe it in to try to capture. Everything is... is uniquely Augusta National, even the smells.
For the most part.
You mean like the Champions Dinner? Yeah. Oh, that's a great one. No-brainer. Here's what I'd say to you. They'd be lucky to have you, baby. Oh, wow. You're the new agent. You're the new agent.
Never going there again. Jackasses. Here's what I would do with that. If they ever called, I'd say, you know what? We're honored. Right. for this offer. And can I stay in the course? In fact, he will obviously do it pro bono. Right. But there'll be just one little, one little cost. We get to play the course on Monday. We're all playing the course.
Really?
And throw in three gnomes.
I've played it in my mind. What hole would you be the most excited to play? That's a great question. I'm going to say, I'm going to say 15 because I would want to see if I could get, yeah. I mean, if I really crushed my drive from the members team, there's an absolute chance that I could put it on in two. And we're talking about baby today or baby when the swing speed was at his apex.
I will tell you, and then I will boil you. Very quick. I came within a razor's hair of getting on the course. Okay, good. I get, I'm going. I get invited on Monday. They play the, they allow the media to play. Yeah. In placements are the same as Sunday.
Okay. Les Moonves. Ray Romano, me, and someone else. I can't remember who. I'm literally in my garage. I'm ready to go. It's the next day. I'm home. It's Sunday. I'm literally taking toothpicks and cleaning the grooves of my irons. I'm ready to go. I'm not kidding. I'm shining my... I get a text from Ray. Baby doll, I'm so sorry. You got bumped. Less invited like the CEO of AT&T and you're out.
I'm really sorry. And that was it. I was on my way to go down there. And I got bumped at the last minute.
That was the end. The last we heard. Stuck it in my eyes. And that was the last. Yeah.
That is the last cut. Most insulting. That's about as sad as I've ever been. Oh, man. Yeah. But I'll get on. I know I will. I haven't really worked it. I haven't tried very hard. I figured it would come organically. I think we have to try to get more involved. We're going to make this happen for you, baby. Yeah. If you guys do that,
I love you more than I love you now, and I'll be forever indebted. How's that? Well, you're his agent now, so you're just basically on a contract. I got some papers out there, baby.
No, we have not.
And he's also like cooking like a wild man with this really bad shoulder. It's impressive.
Baby, you get to go fourth. Who's your pick? I'm doing the Swede. Aberg. Ludwig? Ludwig Aberg. It's kind of Oberg, isn't it? It's Oberg.
It's freaking Swedish. Oberg.
I'm going with the. Say it right. Always. This one's easy. I'm going with Kapka. As my second pick. Aberg played so... Oberg played so impressively last year. Aberg or Oberg? Both of them played so impressively.
Bergy. Ludwig... He hits the ball a country mile, number one. He's got the short game. He finished, I believe, second last year, if I'm not mistaken. And I think he's one of the absolute future stars of the tour and will win many majors in his career.
Yeah, right? In general. No, but he's always a threat in the majors. He's had a very good recent history, Kepka, in the Masters. I'm not sure where his game is because I don't watch Liv. Is that a political decision? I feel like he's always... and could be a threat this week. All right. We got a lot of lib guys already. We have two.
What a day.
Was it fun? It was a lot of fun. It really was. I had a great time with you guys. I really did. Yeah, because you wouldn't shut up.
But, you know, I do like talking golf with house. because I think we have a very similar handicap and also a somewhat similar passion for the game.
He was very intently listening.
I did. It was like the evolution of my game from age 12 to 60.
I didn't mean to annoy you guys with it. I just get so excited. He's getting upset now. No, I'm not upset. When I walk those hollowed grounds, I get this energy about it. I can't help myself. I'm obsessed.
All right, tomorrow, I'll walk with you guys tomorrow.
Very brisk.
Well, I only dropped, what, 4K today? That wasn't bad. It was right around the over-under.
Yes, it was.
Yes, two of my daughters did, yes.
Yes.
Wake Forest. Wait. Oh, I said first I said, Cam, we're rooting for you. We're rooting for you. Best of luck this week. Didn't look up from peeling. Working on the banana.
And as I said, as I said, Wake Forest guy, Wake Forest connection. He continued to peel the banana and stick it in his mouth and look the other way.
He'd be lucky to know me.
I have had multiple interactions with him.
I don't want to say we're neighbors at the Bears Club, but we're neighbors at the Bears Club. So you position yourself. He's always been a wonderful guy to me and very kind. He's a gentleman.
Yes.
Yeah, because it sounds so ridiculous. His house is so incredibly beautiful. But does that mean you're neighbors with him at the Bears Club? I mean, he's around the corner. Yeah, there's only 80 houses.
He's kind of a neighbor. That doesn't mean he knows you. No, I didn't say he knows me well, but he doesn't know me well, but when he sees me, he knows who I am. How's that?
My daddy's the Simmons wing.
Cousin Sal's my outdoor grill. Come on. That just means you're a shitty agent.
Giant, giant trap.
So, Sal, do you want to reenact what baby said? But here's the other side of it. Imagine if he came over, how great that fucking moment would have been, right? Wouldn't that have been cool? But what did you say?
He cracked a little smile. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it.
So you were hoping. I had just, in my defense. Yeah. He wins the players two weeks ago or three. How many weeks ago was that? Three weeks ago now.
And I saw him in the men's grill. And I, of course, congratulated him profusely. Like a thousand people did. And he was sitting with Shane Lowry at the table. And I talked to him for a minute and, you know, did the baby doll thing. What is the baby doll thing? I think we saw it today.
I thought maybe it was semi-fresh in his mind. So that's why I had... A modicum of confidence that he was going to go, oh, baby doll, okay, I'll look, whatever. Didn't work out that way.
I feel like they're actually... I know there, but like he's played this tournament, you know, 20 times, 15 times. It's loose out there in these practice rounds. All right. So he just doesn't like you. Yeah, I guess. So 0 for 2 is the legacy. I was 0 for 2.
That's exactly right.
That was really it. There's not much to it. You are the... You are the guy who coined it.
True.
Correct.
Yes, I did think that. And be like, oh, that guy I really like. Right, yeah, totally. Isn't that insane of me? But yes, that was what was going through my fucked up mind.
Thanks.
That's exactly it. And I know he's a he's a really like decent guy. When you, when you talk to him, he's a gentleman beyond belief.
No, because he just is. And, and like, he's not some, you know, disengaged guy and uh he's he's always very polite and right and engaged so i thought maybe and it was relatively recent that we we bullshitted and uh oh for two didn't i say i tried that wasn't really the highlight sort of the highlight for me was we were talking to a member of augusta national and
I did bring it up.
Yes. Yes. Thank you for the refresher. Yes. And I could, he was talking about the, the ladies amateur being held at Augusta, which is picking up steam here, which, which I think one of the things I learned today is baby's very proud to be on the board of Wake Forest. I am. It's an honor. It really is. It's an amazing.
Jimmy's like under Jon Stewart. Of course.
Remember when The Bachelor, Matt James, was in there for like a year?
He was gaining. You were dropping his name everywhere. He was gaining, absolutely. Well, hey, you're only The Bachelor once, right?
Yes, I did.
Interesting. And decided to get a hat. Is that what it was? Yeah, because they didn't have it at the... He was in the pro shop for like an hour and a half and then...
I mean, come on, dude. A little fucking hat hurt your neck? What happened?
Yes, there are smoking areas we could lead you to. Yes, there's a designated smoking area over here. I can escort you. It's like, I just put it out already, okay? You don't need to escort me. I'll be lighting one in about five minutes anyway.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
No, you don't. You don't, but if you love golf like we do, it's just so unique. It's such a different... Everything about it is so... it's like if he died and went to heaven and that was, that was like field of dreams, cornfield. It really, it is that. And, uh, and also like, I just love being around anything golf.
And that is kind of the, this is the, the, the cradle and apex of golf and golf fans. And it's just my whole vibe, you know? Uh, I love it.
Sal had withdrawal for the first like two hours. You did.
Yeah, you really were like jonesing for that phone.
Right.
Yeah.
Right. To like, just kind of like acclimate yourself to where you were and like accept it and then go, okay, I'm, I'm,
For about 50, he's not wasting that.
That's what makes the Masters so different. Touch on what you said, Bill, which is, you know, it's obviously the only major that's always in the same location, right? So that alone sets it apart from all the other majors. And Like everyone's just so fucking happy to be there.
Cause it is expensive and you have to, you know, get to it. And like, it's, it's a bucket list place that at least half those people, at least half are there for the first time. And everybody's just like, Holy shit. Pinch me. I did it.
Thanks for having us. I so hope Sal finishes last in the picks so that we can load down a pimento, pulled pork, egg salad, chicken biscuit.
So are you, baby.