Jasper the Disappointing Mime

Konichiwa, nani? Oh. Hello. I'm sorry. Were you guys expecting a bonjour? Well, first of all, that's racist of you. Just because I'm a mime doesn't mean I'm French, okay? Don't be a mime-a-phobe.

Jasper, the disappointing mime. At least I don't lie to you guys, all right? Fuck. All right, hold on. You guys want to see something funny? Really funny? I mean, all right. I'm not trusted with anything.

Day 58, no one has noticed a thing, honestly.

I was already disappointing, so I just decided to add something to it. How'd that get sadder than what just happened?

I got one laugh.

Jasper, what do you do for work in real life? Bartender, because, well, I need a drink other than wise. You know, being up here, just sad. This is the happy me, all right? Other me is sadder. Is that true, or are you trying to be funny? No, that's true, man. You know, I didn't lose my virginity until I was, like, 22. And the only reason that happened is because I got robbed. Wait, what?

That's a whole other story. You don't have time for it. Don't worry about it. Okay.