Joe Barnholt
Appearances
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
My name's Joe because I was named after the crab shack that I was conceived in. You guys, I'm single, so I've been going on a bunch of dates. It's not really helping my love life, but I do have an outstanding balance on my credit card. Yeah, it's hard to stand out in the dating world when you look like the vanilla flavor of white men.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad flavor, it's just not anybody's first choice. I don't even have any tattoos or anything, or as I call them, sprinkles. You guys, I'm so white, I get 2% milk at the store because whole milk's too spicy. I feel like there's a lot of weirdos in the dating world. I went on a date with this one girl.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
She told me she had two half-brothers, which is just a really strange way of saying you have a brother. For everyone that's slow at fractions, I'm going to give you a second to catch up there. It's like, what, did you cut them in half or something? Like, when I say I have two half women in my freezer, that makes sense. Bunch of weirdos out there, you guys. Thank you, my name's Joe Barnholt.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
I've been doing it about a year. But I've been playing music for about 16.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
I do musical comedy and I tried to sing a song about fucking Santa and forgot the lyrics.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Away we go, hope this boat sail through life on a safe little boat. But I see it's time for me to abandon ship, abandon hope like whoa. So merrily we row, life's but a dream we woke. We try to flee but run these circles round the glow. It's up there on side to side, never stray from that path. I charted round and round this wild ride and always end up where I started.
KILL TONY
#706 - 2025 NYE
Lap after lap at the dog track, life's a bitch then you die. Maybe that bitch is man's best friend, I wonder why.