Junkerlyn Hill

Oh my gosh, this is so rude. Craigwell is poor, having only his wages to depend on. Oh my gosh. That's your man. Um, hmm. He's probably a nice guy. He might be rocking her world in one of several ways. But also, like, what else are we going to, I guess, family money other than wages?

Ugh. So rude. So rude. She likes that boy.

Oh, my gosh. I'm going to tell you one thing. We are getting ice cream. We are going to an ice cream parlor, okay? We are making eye contact at church, and he is walking me out while I fan myself. He's courting me. He's sitting in my mother's parlor, and we are drinking tea under the watchful eye of my father and siblings.

I don't know, like, is there a promenade that we go to? Is there, I don't know what things are open. There's probably no zoo yet, probably no museums, but like whatever the version of that is. Maybe he's outside my window at night and throwing rocks and we're writing each other letters. Maybe we even sneak a little kissy kiss and no one sees it. Being fast.

Okay, so it's giving literal talented 10.

But they're outnumbered. It gives something that I would have thought to do when I was like in my 20s and felt like I had something to prove.

What did Audre Lorde say? Master's house, master's tools, et cetera.

Ooh, I wonder if that had any long-term consequences.

It's also this thing of like, if you're barely one generation out of being enslaved, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have sympathy.

Yeah, every rom-com needs a best friend. Every rom-com needs a best friend.

Oh my gosh, she has to stab him. He broke her heart.

Lucinda Seaton. Not her. He's going to paint her like one of his German girls. No way.

All right, time for colorism to start.

Okay. She's a red bone, as we say. She would be in the Fenty 300s.

Now it's like, girl, that's money.

Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. Did Lulu go there with Craigwell?

We'll see.

Oh, that is nasty. Lucinda, don't be nasty.

Oh my God. But you know what? I watch a lot of Housewives. So I do understand when you get iced out, like the alternative is like time to be a gossip monger and start some mess.

A waiter's a great look?

Okay. Okay.

Love that.

Oh, love Mary Church Terrell.

As in Cardozo High School Cardozos?

Wow.

I know, I saw, I heard Seton, I was like, wait a minute, I know that street.

Would you ever invite an ex to your wedding? Okay, and this is going to sound messy. If y'all are cool and your current partner does not know the extent of your friendship with this person, yes. But if it is well-known, girl, he does not need to be there. No, stop being messy.

Okay, being a politician and a journalist at the same time gives me pause, but I do respect the hustle. It's a wild combo. Like, how are you going to do both these things, sir? But okay.

Well, okay, but if you're going scorched earth like that, that's why you're not a politician. Like, a not insignificant amount of having a career is being personable and getting people to like you. And if you go scorched earth when you get a no, you're going to keep getting no's.

That's why he acts like that.

Oh, oh, oh.

So was it like the shade room? Essentially, this was their shade room.

Craigwell is poor, having only his wages to depend on. Oh my gosh.

Exactly.

The what families? Fust.

Oh, nothing musty, Jesus. Okay, I think being called musty is the worst thing that can happen to you. Do you know?

Because like musty isn't just stinky. Musty is like you're funky and you've been funky for a minute.

Yes, let me see. They wouldn't be caught dead with an ordinary Negro, and they foolishly expect to become absorbed by the white race. Ooh, drag them!

Okay, and this is what, okay, this makes me think. It's that thing of, hey, we're all Black people, et cetera, et cetera. But, and I admit, sometimes when I see tweets about this where people complaining about

quote unquote black elite or like black college educated people, there's something in you that inherently gets defensive, even though you'll have these conversations about men, about white supremacy. And you say, hey, you got to take a hard look at X, Y, Z. But when the finger points to you, it admittedly does not feel good.

And it takes a lot of work to check that and say, okay, only hit dogs holler. If I'm hollering, what am I doing? What's happening? And that takes a lot of maturity and a lot of thought.

Okay, Lady Whistledown.

Dear Louise, your letter to the household last week was read with a great deal of interest.

Girl, not you eloping. Chum. Dear Louise, your letter to the household last week was read with a great deal of interest. I never was made more surprised in my life.

Mr. Craigwell was persuaded to break the engagement by a lady connected with the Francis family? Oh! Dionne.

Nasty work. Nasty work. Then Miss Frances went to Harrisburg on a visit, and Mr. Cragwell did not greet her with any respect, nor did he write to her for over a year. Still, she said that he was the only man she ever loved. And if she married another, it would be for spite. The lady was told by a friend not to marry for spite. Okay, Lulu, Lulu, why you letting men play?

Let's just continue, because I have a lot of thoughts. Let's continue.

The lady asked her friend, would it be wise to give Mr. Craigwell an invite to her marriage? She was told no. Mr. Craigwell, on the reception of an invitation from Ms. Francis and Mr. Sneed announcing their marriage, immediately left Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and came to D.C. Once in the city, Mr. Craigwell remarked to his friend that he would never leave D.C. without Ms. Lulu Francis.

But finding that he could not persuade her parents to bless his reunion with Miss Frances, he returned to Harrisburg. Mr. Craigwell could not rest in Harrisburg, so he returned again to D.C. and inaugurated another scheme. This time, he solicited the services of the sister of Miss Lulu. While out walking with Mr. Sneed, Miss Lulu called

at her sisters and told Mr. Sneed to wait outside as she wanted to see her sister about a dress. Mr. Cragwell was there and he pleaded with her to become his wife.

In the afternoon of Wednesday, November 2nd, the marriage license was procured and they were married. Dr. Sunderland said that he thought the affair a romance and that it did not excite his suspicions. It was settled and poor Mr. Sneed was made a victim of despair.

Mr. and Mrs. Francis are heartbroken to think that their daughter would treat them so.

This is Snead's last song. Where Has My Lulu Gone is the song I shall sing. The chestnut bells are ringing and the boys are singing. Snead, Snead, Snead, oh Snead, where has thy Lulu gone? I have been told that Mr. Snead has received a just retribution. It's said that he had many sympathizing friends who regretted that he was disappointed and many young ladies who were pleased.

I have so much to say. I have so much to say. And it really is giving Lori Harvey. I'm glad that's who we live with. I feel like Mr. Sneed is Michael B. Jordan. Oh, Mr. Sneed is. Mr. Sneed is Michael B. Jordan, which, you know, Michael, call me. I'm around. I have so many thoughts because on one hand. It's better to end a marriage before it's miserable. She clearly was not into it.

Where did you grow up? So I bounced around Kansas and Missouri for a good chunk of my childhood. But I feel like when people ask where you're from, they're asking, where did you graduate from high school? And the answer to that question is Albuquerque, New Mexico. Albuquerque, New Mexico, which I mean, I love it there, but wow. Yeah.

He was, although, you know, at the end, he's like... He feels very Drake-y. It's very, like, her loss. And I mean that derogatory. That being said... Don't spin the block. Like, no. If that man left once, he'll leave again. And when he does it again, you're going to feel so stupid. I just... Like, oh, I'm going to get you back, baby. Like, I guess.

But she let that man spin the block, and here we are. What a scandal. I think it would have been better if she had said, you know... I'm not feeling it. Call it off. Maybe wait some time. Lay low a little bit. But to run off and get married. Also, her sister was in cahoots. We can't forget this. It's not all on Lulu. Her sister was in cahoots.

Also, wasn't her mom who was all like, don't marry that girl?

That is true.

Also, it's this thing of, and this is something my mom always said, and of course there are exceptions to this rule, but it's a thing of if your child is dating someone you don't like, don't make a fuss because that will only drive them into their arms.

And that's exactly what they did.

Like the number one thing people say is like, oh, they got black people there. And the answer is no. And that's why I am not there. So where are you now? So I'm in D.C. now. I moved out here to go to Howard. Like most Howard grads, that's probably the longest I've gone without saying the words. I went to Howard and I just stayed ever since. And what would you say is your relationship to the city?

Me? I would just fake my own death.

Okay, the thing is, I'm an only child. So the amount of conniption that would be had. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I really do feel like it raised me. I was talking with someone recently and I asked, how long do you have to live in a place to no longer be considered a transplant? Because I've lived in D.C. for 15 years now. And my friend was like, you're good.

Dang. So both the daughters got got?

Dang. Dang, her daddy's strict.

I know, that's right.

What is it about Pretty Girl County that we can't stay away from?

Okay, Northwest.

Mr. John Fields Craigwell, pioneer resident of Seattle and veteran barber, died Monday morning from a heart ailment. Mr. Craigwell was born in Virginia in 1862. After graduation from high school, young Craigwell moved to Pennsylvania, but later returned to Washington where he engaged in the barber business.

In 1885, Mr. Craigwell was married to Miss Louise Francis by the same minister that married Grover Cleveland. They moved to Seattle in 1890, where the young barber again started his business. His shop was a gathering place for business leaders during and after the days of the Alaska Gold Rush.

During his 56 years as a barber, he shaved many notables, including presidents Theodore Roosevelt and William McKinley, John Jacob Astor, Alexander Graham Bell, and many others. Besides his business, Mr. Cragwell was interested in several civic affairs. He used to take an active part in politics, and at the time of his death, he held one of the highest offices in the Presbyterian Church.

Surviving are his widow, Mrs. Louise Cragwell, two daughters, three grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. On November 24th, 1935, Mr. and Mrs. Craigwell celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, which hundreds of Seattle citizens attended. Oh, they got a happy ending. Good for you, girl. Okay, you can spin the block this one time, but never do it again.

I essentially bleed mambo sauce now as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, no. Oh, why are they like this? See, don't spin the block. I told you. I told you. Don't do it. Do not text that man.

Wow. Gilded age, Lori Harvey. You took me through a lot just now. A lot.

Ooh. Okay. I've been thinking about this. And I feel like original recipe. Like, I am just a regular, a very regular Black person. Like, not a new Black person. Just old-fashioned Black lady. Well, okay, I'm not an old-fashioned Black lady. Let me not say that.

Ooh, this is a question that I think about a lot, just living my own life and living in D.C. I would like to think that you can be

around and not be dragged down by the grips and allure of power but i know that as humans we don't do that it's almost like the ring and lord of the rings like you're around it and the pool becomes so strong that you can't say no and then like what do you become you know i would like to think that someone is strong enough to do it but i don't know if that person exists yeah that's real

Okay. Honestly, there are things about it that worked at the time. So I can't begrudge them that. And I guess the other option would have led to... even more death and destruction for Black people. So I get the route that they took. And, you know, talk about Monday morning quarterbacking.

But, you know, what if we say, okay, we're just going to do this for two years and then, like, we have to be real people after this, you know? We can't be doing this in 2024. Like, devise a plan where this strategy is sunsetted by 2024. What would you have us do? Probably disengage completely. Just stop caring. Like just being like nothing is going to work.

If people want to be racist, they're just going to do it and they will find any and every reason to do it. At this point, who cares about the white gays? What are we up to? That is the strategy I would deploy now.

Yeah, I don't know. I kind of like the mess because it's also a reminder that something my mom would say to me over and over again is there's nothing new under the sun. And I would think, I don't think that's true. But this makes me realize, no, there really is nothing new under the sun.

And I think we would all give ourselves a lot more grace if we looked at our ancestors as people and knew that they could get messy, too, sometimes even messier.

Like, that is wild. Like, she loved that man down.

I don't know. I don't have all the bells and whistles. Like, I'm not like, ooh, post-racial society. Even the conversations, like the diaspora wars, I think I'm a little original recipe in that because I'm like, y'all, we are all Black. What are you... And, like, people will argue about the one-drop rule, and I'm like, mm... You're Black. I also, I think I have a very good Blackdar.

Like, there are people who are Black, and I clock it, and I have friends who are like, that's a Black person. I'm like, I know when a Negro is in my presence.

Oh, it's hard to do. It's hard because sometimes it's good and then sometimes it's bad. Like I said, I went to Howard and there's that tweet where someone's like, I hate Howard bitches. They're always in the bathroom arguing about slavery. And it's like I that's I am at the party. I am the person in the bathroom arguing about slavery.

Everyone tends to get blinded by their own experience. And there's a defensiveness, like an inherent defensiveness. I'm going to give it a two. I'm going to give the conversations a two, especially if they're happening online. Oh, my gosh. Don't even try.

OK, I think no matter who you are, class gets sticky. It's that whole thing. It's like don't talk about politics and money. And it's both those things together. But I think for so long, class and race has been married in this country. And for good reason, like understandably so.

There have been systemic things that, you know, make a lot of black people part of the same class and make it very hard for to have upward mobility. But when that upward mobility does exist, it can get a little sticky because it's this thing of, well, you're still experiencing racism. And it's like, yeah, but also, like, there are privileges that come with having money.

And then there's all this, like, class anxiety that's harder to move up in the world. And then you feel defensive about it. And it's just, it gets sticky so quickly.

Oh, I'm pretty comfortable with it. But again, I think that's because I've been arguing in bathrooms about slavery for the past 15 years.

Oh, back when it was really Chocolate City.

I love, first of all, I love love. I love scandals. I love drama.

Ooh, I'm drinking an old-fashioned, and I just imagined the old-fashioned he would make me.

So he'd probably be like, why are you drinking, you hussy? Go home.

Oh, they're strict. They are very serious about those rules.

I would not be grandfathered in my 15 years. They'd be like, girl, you are not from here.

Okay, it sounds like she's that girl and this person is not an actress, but I'm just imagining like Gilded Age Lori Harvey. That's so funny.

Yeah, like Gilded Age Lori Harvey. She's that girl. Know the girl, etc.

Do I have to pick from the men you mentioned, or can I make my ideal man up?

Ooh, you know what? I'm gonna go with a doctor. I'm gonna go with a doctor. Somebody that, like, all the Black people go to. They're like, uh, he is that doctor. He is that guy. And I'll be like, yeah, that's my man.