Katy Milkman

in Philadelphia and someone pointed out to me like it's so great that you live in a townhouse all that passive exercise when you run up and down the stairs and now I am the one volunteering to like you know go grab the ketchup that we forgot if we're gonna have dinner on a roof deck that's exciting I can get extra exercise so there's like different choices that you make once you start to have a different set of beliefs about your ideas

in Philadelphia and someone pointed out to me like it's so great that you live in a townhouse all that passive exercise when you run up and down the stairs and now I am the one volunteering to like you know go grab the ketchup that we forgot if we're gonna have dinner on a roof deck that's exciting I can get extra exercise so there's like different choices that you make once you start to have a different set of beliefs about your ideas

you know, what you're achieving. So anyway, I think of this as related to identity, because if you're now you're starting to have the identity is I am someone doing a career that's physically active. And now you lean into that, and then you experience the benefits. So I think, I think the work on mindset is the the best work I have seen that's really rigorous, and that relates to identity.

you know, what you're achieving. So anyway, I think of this as related to identity, because if you're now you're starting to have the identity is I am someone doing a career that's physically active. And now you lean into that, and then you experience the benefits. So I think, I think the work on mindset is the the best work I have seen that's really rigorous, and that relates to identity.

Yeah, I think the most powerful thing is who you surround yourself with.

Yeah, I think the most powerful thing is who you surround yourself with.

So I think the social context you create, the people around you have so much to do with whether or not you believe in yourself. And by the way, I also want to add like a really quick footnote because the academic in me can't stand not to, which is to say you can have excessive confidence and that can be harmful.

So I think the social context you create, the people around you have so much to do with whether or not you believe in yourself. And by the way, I also want to add like a really quick footnote because the academic in me can't stand not to, which is to say you can have excessive confidence and that can be harmful.

so this is a little bit of a dangerous like seesaw we're on here right you want to be confident enough and believe in yourself enough that you're going to lean into the opportunities and um you know work towards the goals that because you believe you could achieve them but if you're like i've got this i'm perfect you're not going to practice you're not going to work hard so there is anyway it's a it's a little bit of a delicate balance but back to how do you get to that right level of belief

so this is a little bit of a dangerous like seesaw we're on here right you want to be confident enough and believe in yourself enough that you're going to lean into the opportunities and um you know work towards the goals that because you believe you could achieve them but if you're like i've got this i'm perfect you're not going to practice you're not going to work hard so there is anyway it's a it's a little bit of a delicate balance but back to how do you get to that right level of belief

Everything I know from research points to the structure of the people you surround yourselves with, whether it's the people you work with, the people you train with if you're an athlete, the people you socialize with. They give you a lot of those beliefs in yourself and you can choose them.

Everything I know from research points to the structure of the people you surround yourselves with, whether it's the people you work with, the people you train with if you're an athlete, the people you socialize with. They give you a lot of those beliefs in yourself and you can choose them.

But they will, with the messages they send you about what's acceptable behavior, what's normal, what they're achieving, and how you measure up, it shapes so much about our confidence.

But they will, with the messages they send you about what's acceptable behavior, what's normal, what they're achieving, and how you measure up, it shapes so much about our confidence.

Yeah, you never choose that. Right, so I think what you're pointing to is like, It's not a necessary condition. Right.

Yeah, you never choose that. Right, so I think what you're pointing to is like, It's not a necessary condition. Right.

It's not the only. Yeah, there are people who can thrive without it. But if you get to choose and if you want to create an environment where you're going to believe in yourself.

It's not the only. Yeah, there are people who can thrive without it. But if you get to choose and if you want to create an environment where you're going to believe in yourself.

Yeah. Well, okay. Here, let me pivot a little bit to another. We're doing a lot of academic stuff. I like it. I love it. I'm an academic. I'm actually going to tell you a story about a person in academia who is the most important person in my career, and that's my dissertation advisor. His name is Max Bazerman. He's a Harvard Business School professor, great human being, and a great academic.

Yeah. Well, okay. Here, let me pivot a little bit to another. We're doing a lot of academic stuff. I like it. I love it. I'm an academic. I'm actually going to tell you a story about a person in academia who is the most important person in my career, and that's my dissertation advisor. His name is Max Bazerman. He's a Harvard Business School professor, great human being, and a great academic.