Kimber

Now.

I'm the animal.

I want to help Sam.

Breathe, Sam.

Ich weiß, du fliegst, aber das ist die perfekte Menge Licht, um zu üben. Du bleibst noch um 3 Uhr, oder?

End of Chapter 14.

I didn't mean what I said.

I didn't mean it. What I said about wishing it had been you instead of Kyle...

There's no one I would rather have by my side tomorrow. And I know you don't want me there, but I will be. To the very end.

In a bulletproof vest?

How far is Boroska from here?

Maybe his guard will be down since you're his son. You're the only son he has. And all. I didn't correct her.

One gun, one bullet, one vest. We need a motherfucker of a plan.

Oh mein Gott...

Tell me.

We need more time. At least another day.

And kill us either way.

Yeah, they won't expect that.

But I need the gun.

Yeah.

Granted.

You're a dick, Sam Walker. So what did it have in it?

Well, that's kind of why I'm here. There are others, Sam.

Yeah!

Holy shit. How many women were there at Braska?

But there were never that many when I was there. Maybe 60 at most.

Oh, ich habe das Schuss tausendmal gemacht.

Well, thank you for the drink, but I have to go.

In the morning.

I've had a lot of time to prepare for this. Years, in fact.

Yes, I am. Are you?

Yeah. Stop staring at me.

You're not as sly as you think you are.

Neither did I.

17.

You're wrong.

You're worried for no reason.

Ich habe vergessen, dass sie einfach so... Und sie würden das hören.

Your roommate? How?

I am.

No.

We're already here.

A series of second thoughts and regrets? Jesus. Damn.

100%.

No.

No. You were dragged to the car.

No. I'm not going anywhere. You can go. Take my car. Just leave me here.

Ich glaube, du hast nichts gehört.

Ich bin nicht sicher, ob du es glaubst.

Oh. What?

No, no, Sam. I'm gonna be here.

Du wirst in Ordnung, Sam. Du bist stärker als du weißt.

We're never going to get those records from him, Sam. What?

When?

Okay. Okay, what do we do now?

Are we really ready?

I know you wouldn't leave me at this fucking hotel, Sam.

Are you going to deny it?

Not bad, though.

Oh, das wird nicht passieren. Ich muss da sein, wenn er stirbt. Ich muss da sein.

Yes, for about seven years now.

Thank you for calling.

But now I'm going... Never use a loan, it's Kathy. Hi, my name's Kimber. How are you? Good, how are you? I'm good. Let me catch your name one more time. Kimber.

Let me get my book. Kimber, I've never talked to you before. I'm glad you called. Have you called us before? No, this is my first time. I just went out of rehab yesterday and I don't want to use that myself. Okay. All right. So what are you going to use, Kimber, and how are you going to use it? I'm injecting heroin. Okay. Probably fentanyl.

All right, let me get some information, okay, baby? Give me your callback number in case we get disconnected.

You got your door unlocked? Let me check. Hold on. Yeah, it's unlocked now. Okay, so make sure I'm on speakerphone. Yep. All right. Are you by yourself in your home, in your apartment? Yeah. Okay. Do you have Narcan? I do. Set it out for me. Okay.

And if you've got anything else extra that you don't need to do your job, if you just picked up, if you've got some extra rigs, put away anything you don't need, okay? Okay. Because God forbid I have to call the ambulance, you... They'll take your shit when they leave, and I don't want them to do that. Okay. Hold on. Let me put everything away then in the bathroom.

Do you remember Elmira from Looney Tunes? Yeah. So my family called me Elmira because her thing on the show was, like, she would kiss and hug and squeeze animals until they died. And so that's what they called me because I always had some kind of critter or, like, stuff like that.

I'm going to take a bunch of stuff out. Yeah, just, you know, like close the door, you know, or whatever. Just don't leave it right where you're at. How long have you been abstinent? About a month. Okay. So you know your tolerance is in the dirt, right, baby? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

I do. I do. I carry it with me. You just never know when you're going to need Narcan.

I just had to revive somebody the other day here at an AA meeting. It was different being on that side of things. Like you don't even think about the fact that you almost died. That's the crazy part. Like I forgot about a couple of my overdoses because like, cause you kind of just fall asleep and don't even know that you fall asleep. Like I'd always get mad. You get mad at the person.

You're like, what are you stressing out about? Like I'm here, I'm fine. Like what is the problem? And then I watched people overdose and it is, it happened. It's like three minutes between when you arcane them and they'll come back and it feels like an eternity and all those things run through your head. This person's dead. I don't know if this person's coming back.

And then you realize, oh, you're like, oh, okay, this was pretty scary.

So I went off to detox and detoxed with no medication.

It was awful. I just remember going in and I couldn't lay in the bed. It was so cold. They had the AC blasting. It was summertime. Of course, AC's on, but you're going through withdrawal, so you're so cold. I couldn't lay in the bed because they give you these thin blankets. I went in the bathroom where there's a heater thing in there and laid on the floor. They dragged me out.

all right so i'll stay up listen so i'll stay on the phone with you if you want to just i mean if you want to do points at a time or half a point at a time um we'll take it as slow as you want if you would feel better video chatting me we can do a gypsy or something okay that's okay okay

They wouldn't let me stay in the bathroom. They're like, you can't lay in here. And so then I waited for them to leave and I went into the bathroom. The only thing that felt good was I stripped down naked. It was a really small bathroom with like tile floors. So I had to throw my clothes out of the door back into my room.

And just lay on the tile and I had the blanket over the heating vent and I just like had the heat on there But like the coolness on my back and then the heat.

Oh my god It was the only thing that like kept me being able to like sit through it And I mean I was throwing up the whole time and I don't know how long I was there like it was a while It just felt like days and days went on And I didn't think it was ever gonna stop and I just kept telling myself that I could do it, that I really had the strength to do it.

I always said, like, my body was too poisonous for anything to live inside. Like, I, you know, I had done so much to myself and just, like, berated my body and, you know, there was no way anything was going to be able to live in this toxic environment.

And I think there was definitely a part of me that thought I didn't know how to be a mother. So when I found out I was pregnant, even if I had to do it by myself, I was going to do it. I'm 31 years old. I was sober. I moved to a brand new place, started with nothing. And like, I knew I could do this. If I could do everything I was doing, I could do this too.

So I never for a second thought that I was going to not keep the baby.

Being in Darabella is boring. It's boring. Really boring.

So all I ask you to do is you let me know as soon as you push your first dose. You let me know that you're done. Well, I have to hold my breath for a second because I have to do it in my neck. I'm not going to be speaking for a second.

I said I just need a second because I got to find a vein. That's fine. We're in no rush. I just have really bad eyes, so it's really hard to do. Oh, God. Lord, yeah. But all the veins on my arms are sharp. Yeah.

okay i'm pushing it in all right slow and easy baby all right i'm pushing and i'm letting the tourniquet go okay baby okay i think i'm okay i'm good all right well we're gonna stay on the phone for about five minutes okay okay and then if you want to do more then you can do a little bit more, okay?

You good?

You okay, honey? Amber? Amber? Amber? Amber? Kimber, I'm gonna call your name about one more time and I'm calling an ambulance. Kimber? Kimber? You better answer me. Kimber?

The caller became unresponsive while on the line with me.

We're an overdose crisis line, so it's possible.

The female, her first name's Kimber, K-I-M-B-E-R.

Okay, yeah, I've got the calls merged in, yeah.

No, let me call her name. Let me call her name again. Kimber, baby, answer me. Kimber? No.

OK, her front door is unlocked.

All right, OK. Kimber, baby, I got you some help coming.