Lauren Nicholson
Appearances
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
And I think gentle parenting is a very hot button topic because if you go out in the world and you say, I'm a gentle parent, you will be judged. Like parents will come for you and look at you like, what? So I think it's more about acknowledging your kid and I think that we parent our kid for exactly who they are.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
I think that's maybe what gentle parenting is trying to accomplish is parent the child you have as opposed to parenting in broad strokes the same way for all your kids. But I don't know. I'm not a parenting expert.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
It depends on which parenting blog you've read, which internet mom you're following that day, which answer you want to get. That's the problem with being a parent in the modern world. It's overwhelming. The consumption of advice you get, like who knows what we're doing? We're all just grasping at straws. But the basic concept is, I can see that you're really upset about this right now.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
I'm sorry about that. That must be really hard for you. Can I help you? It looks like maybe you need a little bit of help. Let's get this situation solved so we can move on. Okay. If I am under caffeinated and tired, it is girl, put your socks on. We're moving forward. So it's just like we try to look at our kids and treat them like almost like adults, but they aren't adults.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
So we're just trying to acknowledge their feelings a little bit more. Not every day, not all day, but that's the goal in kind of the way that we parent them.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
You think? We absolutely raise our voice with our child. So let's be very clear. I don't hear it. Absolutely. We do. We totally holler at her. We raise our voice. But, like, the yelling and the, like, the... No, we don't really yell at our kids. We don't.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
I don't think that we look back on it and go, oh, we were yelled at and we had such a horrible childhood and our parents stomped around and screamed and this and that in a sense where we want to make a great change. And I give my parents incredible credit because I was my daughter. I was my five-year-old.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
I still am anxious and nervous and type A, which explains why I love all the blogs and the internet and And my parents really did help me, and they weren't screamers, and they weren't yellers, and they had boundaries, and they had rules, and they had consequences. And I think at the end of the day, that's how all parents should parent. Kids shouldn't just be out in the world roaming.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
They do thrive on stability, structure, boundaries, consequences. I think what's happened is, like most things, maybe this generation has swung the pendulum just a little too far. These conversations are important because I'm listening to my mom talk about it and she will say this stuff to our faces. Like it's just funny because she'll tease us and we know it, but we still do it.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
My daughter right now, my five-year-old, is very fussy about her socks. putting them on and specifically how they feel. She's very tactile and mom knows, she's just very weird about how her clothes feel. And so it's like, you want to acknowledge that this is a very big deal to her, but you also need to teach her that this does not matter and you cannot let this be a big deal.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
So how do you, how do you kind of coach her through it, but also like acknowledge, like, you need to get out of your head here. You need to get out of your own way child. And so, like, not overreacting. And how does that present, like, how does that make your mourning harder? Oh, my word. She's on the floor crying, going, my socks don't fit right.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
And then, you know, her other, her younger sister is running around, pulling out her hair bow, not putting on her socks, taking off her diaper, flinging it around while you're trying to get out the door on time. Because if you are late to her school, they will literally lock the door and make you go in and fill out a form and shame you into writing why you're late. And why are you late?
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
Oh, because my daughter's socks didn't fit right. You know, it's like you can't put that on a Google form. That turns into five minutes late, which turns into 10 minutes late, which means I'm not getting to work on time. which means my day is disrupted all because my five-year-old is frustrated over this one little thing.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
And so you're taking deep breaths because internally you're going down the rabbit hole of all of this is ruining my morning.
Today, Explained
Generation Gentle Parent
I would say all millennials are. can relate to being gentle-ish parents because we were raised, most of us were raised by boomers. I can see my mother's face right now. And boomers maybe are more of an authoritarian kind of style of parenting. And I think millennials can relate more as a, we'll call it we're relating to our kids' feelings more