Offender
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Hell fuck yeah, dude, oh my fucking God. I wanna say this, I did my time like a man. That's right, take that, Brittany Griner. Couple things about prison you should know in case you decide to go. Farting is considered a form of flirting. And I had to learn that the hard way when I let one rip. And I heard a dude way down the way, he said, hey, I hear you calling my name down there.
And if you didn't laugh at that joke, I guess that's one of those moments in life where you should have been there. Because that shit was funny, but I was scared. You know what I'm saying? I hated when the guards made me strip down because they never tipped. I felt like that shit was rude as hell. There is one more thing I will say. Go right ahead.
There is one sound that haunts me to this day. It's not the sound of a man getting raped or two men enjoying it.
It's actually the sound chains make when you walk. Yeah, it sounds like, cheek, cheek, cheek.
I had two grams of pot, 0.1 of cocaine when I was 26. I was on the run for about six years. Okay. In Alabama. It's a felony.
Yes, sir. So I found it in prison and luckily I was like a low-level offender.
Sorry. And so I was able to go out into the free, I was in a work release camp after a certain amount of time and I was able to go out. Thank you, Red Band. Yeah, keep going. I was able to go out every day into the free world and I would work at this chicken plant and I would listen to Kill Tony. I didn't even get to watch it.
And Michael Lair was actually the comedian that convinced me, like gave me the inspiration.
I actually believe that, to be honest with you, it was JRE. I think I'd seen you guys on there.
And this is way before you guys came to Texas.
So I've been doing stand-up now. I moved here two and a half months ago, and I've been doing it every day for three to five mics a day since I've got here.
Yes, sir. I waited three years. I live on my short bus. I dedicate my life to this. You live on a short bus? Yes, sir. I'm an Alabamian. It checks out. I love it. Yeah. I love it.
No, sir. Comedy is the career and passion that I'm choosing, so I'm dedicating all of my time to that.
Tell the truth, yeah. So I sell some of the best goddamn weed that I grew my motherfucking self. You're growing it in the short bus or outdoors? No, I used to live in Oregon. I was a professional pot grower. So when I went to go turn myself in, I drove my short bus across country. When I got done, I went back to Oregon And I recently, I had to get my license.
Um, so, like, I obviously do have all of the prison material that I do, but I have my normal stuff as well, and I practice every day. I've been out on the street, like, literally barking for the past week, so I'm sorry my voice is... Barking to get people into the comedy show so that you can do a spot.
No, sir. So I do drink a little bit, officer. Okay.
Yeah, I appreciate it. Hey, can I tell you one thing that I really have? Like, it's special. It's really good. Okay. Do you know the Kill Tony bingo board?
I have a tattoo of it on my thigh that I got while I was in prison.