Rianne
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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Oh, no. I don't think that's a thing here. Probably if it were, they would have.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
So there are a lot of just the world isn't built for short people. I think you genuinely have it better. So just going to the grocery is a challenge. I don't like going without my boyfriend because I don't like asking for help to reach the top shelves. Sometimes going to the theme park.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Going to the grocery store is one. Backing me up at work, probably. Helping me stand. If I were going to an improv show or a drag show where it's standing room only, maybe you could help muscle the crowd so I can see better. Or you say you're strong, just lift me on your shoulders so I can see better at the shows.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Correct. Sounds like a great use of your time. Wouldn't you agree?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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Yeah, he's a lawyer, so that comes with a lot of hurt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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Yeah, he's also a big fan. Oh, that's nice. We love to listen to the podcast together.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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He's 5'7". Might not seem tall to you, but he's taller than I am. It helps a lot.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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Exactly, yeah. To me, once you hit 5'5", there is no difference between my boyfriend and Conan. You're all tall to me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Yes. Always a tense moment finding out whether I can go on a ride or not. Driving is a challenge. I have to sit on a pillow to see over the dash.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Exactly. So there is a perfect ratio. I do not like other people driving my car because it moves the seat. And then you got to find the ratio again. So that's a challenge.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Exactly. Especially when we're traveling in the States, I get carded a lot and they don't accept our driver's license. So I gotta grab my passport and whip it out. One time, a TSA agent, we were going through. So I went through and then he was like, to my mom, minors gotta be accompanied by adults. And my mom was like, she's 22. She's not a minor. And the guy was genuine. You are not 22. So...
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
I am a competent and law-abiding driver. I may have a bit of road rage when it's deserved.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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You haven't driven in the Philippines. You would understand if you were here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Yes. Oh, you did pretty well. Yeah. Taguig. Perfect.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
I keep thinking about how my mom's going to listen to this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Oh, yeah. My parents love you. You're their favorite late night host. My dad thinks you're hilarious.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
I think my mom likes you. My mom likes you the best because you're the one that went to Harvard, she says.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Yeah. What about concerts? Exactly. Yeah. Sona, you get me. I do. I never, I never like sit in the, or stay in the mosh pit section because I'll get crushed and I will not see anything. So I stay up in the stands where it's safe and I can see things. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Yeah. Yeah, pretty happy. I guess I've adapted to it. Like you change your personality a little bit when you're tiny to keep up with all the other talls of the world.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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Well, first, I think I need your help to run errands. I think if it's okay with you, I would like your help first to just generally send a message of unity with talls and shorts in general.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Yes, exactly. Just to show people that short and tall people can coexist and help each other.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Correct. And then after that... I don't think tall people and short people are constantly at war.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
I'm 29, but I stand at 4'10". So even for a Filipino, I am quite short. So average height for women is about 5'2". I struggle a lot. going through life as a vertically challenged person?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Maybe not overcompensate. Just be a bit more assertive. Because sometimes if I say something, maybe during a meeting, the reaction can be a little bit like, good job, kid. Great, great idea. No, that's very, that's patronizing. Yeah. And they like to... They always end up calling me Riri. I never introduced myself as Riri. It feels like a microaggression. Like, why are you diminutizing my name?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
I think that sounds perfect. And... would very much like for that to happen.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
I think there's a lot of places you wouldn't fit like generally stuff is built. So I was looking around my office the other day, genuinely thinking that whether would Conan fit into this? Would Conan fit into the elevator I just got in? I think.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Because Filipinos will claim anyone who just has like 1% Filipino DNA and immediately love you. They'll go kababayan, which means like countryman.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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I mean, is it a lie or can we just not know definitively? It's a lie.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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Yeah, I'm sorry. I just know this here as well, yes. I went home and that's my cat.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
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Not six or seven inches, maybe four inches, but they hurt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Which they would give me because they think I'm a child.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Move Motherf@#$er!
Oh, I get given the kids' menu quite a bit in restaurants.