Rosemarie DeWitt
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Well, it's funny you said that because I remember saying to her after that, I want to play you in a movie. And then she wrote Touchy Feely. And then I thought I was playing her then. But in that one, I think I kind of almost was more because she was so protective of it. We kind of didn't know what movie we were making. Like Ron and I did a scene together, my husband, Ron Livingston.
And I remember us both going like... I don't know what this scene's about. And Ron's like, I don't really. And he's like, and I don't think Lynn wants to tell us. And we're like, great. But I loved her so much and I trusted her so deeply. And I would feel like I would do some of my best work always in her presence and in her loving care that I didn't care. Like your sister, sister, I remember.
We had that big sort of big three way fight and we only had two cameras and we did Mark and Emily's coverage first. And I was like, I don't know what's going to happen. You guys just start yelling at me because I just trusted Lynn.
Yeah. But also you knew that someone was going to make you look good.
You know what I mean? It wasn't like her ego was going to come out later and then do something weird with the movie that no one intended.
I mean, well, we're also at that age now.
Where you go through and you're like, oh, wow, that person. I was in New York last week and I ran into an actor that I kind of came up with. Yeah. Like 20 years ago.
And we were naming people and we're like, wow. all those people are gone. But we're not old.
Yeah. Well, and then you're the only one. I know. Like my dad died last year at 90. And he's like, I'm it. I'm the only one left. You know, he's like, there's no one even to...
Oh, no, it was great. And he was like, he went. He's 90. Yeah, and he was healthy until the end. You know, he was a, what do you call it? You know, a really stubborn motherfucker. You know, so he wouldn't get the walk. You know, he went out in a blaze of glory with all the broken bones that one can have at that age.
But he ran that body right into the ground.
Tough. Marine Corps, 30 years. Yeah, tough. Really? Tough.
No, I mean, it depends. I was his ninth child, so I don't— Nine children! I mean, not with my mom. He had eight with his first wife, Dorothy. Eight? Eight. Catholic, you know. Yeah. Irish. He was Irish Catholic.
And, and then me. So I think maybe they had more of that.
That guy. And then I had, I had a subtler guy.
A little, not that.
Oh, it's just me with him and my mom. And then I had eight half brothers and sisters.
Yeah. I don't know what I, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, to different degrees. You know, I remember a million years, like one of the first movies I ever did was Rachel Getting Married, and it was all about family. It's a good movie. And I started, I did press kind of for the first time. And I remember I just couldn't answer any questions about family because I could never figure my own family out. Yeah.
You know, it was like about a sibling relationship. And I just gave the most neutral, boring answers because I'm like, I can't speak to this because I don't understand. It's complicated. How old were you then? Oh, I don't know. 30s.
Full Irish. Yeah, so I remember, like, even before she passed away, I was young, she wanted to see a priest. And I was thinking, why? Like, what have you ever done? She wanted to make confession.
And I was like, you don't leave the house. What do you have to confess?
I mean, a laundry list. I don't know. I shouldn't bash anything. But I just feel, I remember my husband's mom is a Lutheran. She's retired now, pastor. That's a different approach. Totally. And he didn't understand that my concept of religion was like anything you do is bad. And even if you go to confession, you still can't be forgiven.
I had a therapist who one time said to me, gosh, I wish you were Jewish. Our guilt is so much better than yours.
Yeah. No, I have that too. Yeah. Are you still religious? No, I just have ongoing shame about everything. You do? I mean, I'm working on it. I think it's alleviating as I get older.
Yeah, yeah.
I know. Well, I guess we decided early on. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, they say, like, try to make friends with that guy. And they'll be like, hey, I'm going to drive the car now, guy. You stay in the back seat.
I know, with him.
And you're like, why do you get so much air time?
Yeah, that was my mom's dad.
Yeah, that's what they called him. That was his kind of moniker because he was a washed-up fighter at like 30, and then he was like a longshoreman. He had three kids, and then he just started taking fights during the Great Depression to pay the bills. It wasn't about like... His like unlived life. It was just they needed to put food on the table. Right.
And he just started winning because he was so hungry and he became the champ.
No, I just found out.
Yeah. We lived with him. And I remember, like, hiding behind the chair. You know, when I was little, we lived with him for a little bit. We smoked a pipe. You know, I have very specific memories. And there's some family lore and, like, stories that you hear over in your head.
And then when I was like, you know, in my early 20s, like different directors were attached. They were going to make a movie about him. And I was like a stalker. You know, I was like, I have to be in this movie. And by then, like, my mom wasn't alive.
And my dad was a, like, he fought in the Golden Gloves. So he, like, he was a... He's a boxer, too? Yeah, he was, like, small.
But he, like, looked up. He kind of bragged on my grandpa so much. But my mom was so humble about it. So it was no big deal.
He grew up with her. Yeah.
And then, of course, he had all the, you know, the old pictures and, you know, like too much. Like it was so embarrassing to my mom the way he was trying to telegraph it.
I don't think she thought that, but I just think she didn't need anyone to, you know, not that she wasn't proud of him, but it wasn't her. It's just her dad, you know.
Yeah, I think sometimes about like the way we parent now and, you know, like where we help our kids with their feelings and we talk to them about everything. I remember meeting, like I knew my three oldest siblings from when I was born.
But the younger five, I didn't meet until I was 10 years old.
But nobody explained it to me. It was just like... Here they are. We're driving up to Maine. We're going to spend a weekend. These are your brothers and sisters. And I remember them all kind of being like, hey, punk. You know, like none of them were that excited to meet me. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're lovely now and we all love each other. But, you know, nobody...
It was like I remember watching Mad Men years ago, and I thought the show was so perfect, except when they sat their kids down and explained that they were getting divorced. I was like, nobody did that.
No, it was just throw them to the wolves. They'll figure it out.
No, but I was just saying the parents just didn't do a lot of life coaching, I didn't think, in the 70s and 80s.
It's great. I love it.
Almost 9 and 11.
I read books. I probably talk too much. I literally make, you know, speaking of that inner critic voice, I had like a conversation with her earlier today.
Because I was in New York last week, and I did some late-night TV stuff, and they wanted to see it. They're like, did you talk about us? They always want to have an internet footprint. They're mad that I have no social media. They just think it's so painful that I don't like it, that they have this particular mom. So I was like, well, I talked about you guys on the TV. Do you want to see it?
And then I showed it to them, and then that critic lady, I was talking to her in my head. I'm like, oh, I should probably go home tonight and be like, How did you feel to see yourself on TV last night? Was it okay? Do I?
Yeah, like a picture of them in a Halloween costume.
No, it was with Seth Meyers.
It was fun.
Really good.
I guess so. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how funny they are.
I've done them before. Yeah. And then there's always that pressure. I guess not for you because you just get on here and talk every day. Just talk.
It's like 48 hours before. I'm like, shoot. I should have been paying attention in my life. What are my stories? What's funny? Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, my kids are, when you said you started with, how are you? They're so funny to me.
That every day is a story.
So it's like, I just go, what was Saturday? Oh, okay. I got one.
It's so good, Mark. I love it so much.
She's verbal. She is. Yeah, she's a brilliant girl from England, and she's really funny. In the movie, though, she plays nonverbal, and she really does have cerebral palsy. Right, of course. I mean, so she's so vulnerable in the movie to just...
you know allow us to witness life you know like she has to we have to carry her in certain ways and you know yeah um and she just gives a really it's one of those ones especially because she really is the age of the kids who are mean to you in school like you want the mood you just want everyone to see it because you just want like everybody to go feel yeah feel like this is her and go this she's so cool right you should be so lucky to know her and know her world
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I have a my oldest one is in sixth grade, like starting those middle school years. And she's kind of like, what's happening to everybody? Like she can see that everybody's losing their mind. Like it's puberty.
No, it's not that. But but it's the meanness thing. Well, meanness has been like it just becomes a thing justified.
Yeah. Where they really just start trying on things.
Yeah, I guess. And like kind of moving for power, vying for power by being mean and making people look dumb.
So kids that you've known your whole life that are so kind, it just like hijacks them.
Yeah, like this one was easy because it was like both our girls are adopted.
Gracie's black, Zaza's Latina. And you just, I kind of know already what it's like to have to advocate for them. Like when you're an adoptive family and visually so, like when people can see it coming, they feel entitled to like ask questions. Yeah, yeah. When did you get them? You know, and I'm like, well, they're standing here. They're human beings.
We're not going to, let's be normal human beings and talk, you know. And they're great. Like my older one will be like, can you mind your business?
So I already kind of went in there knowing like, oh, this is a part I want to explore about how do we, I almost feel like my kids advocate for themselves better than I actually can. But I was interested in that part of the role of how a mom, and she messes up. Like in the movie, she messes up and I mess up. And, you know, I think she likes dad better than me, you know, in the movie.
Yeah, sometimes. Right now, they're kind of really into me.
I like it. But I know, like, teenagers, they're going to be all about him.
I mean, as far as acting, they think he's so much—he is cooler. But they're like—my little one will be like, don't you feel bad? People stop and ask dad for autographs, and nobody asks you. I'm like, I don't feel bad. She's like, yes, you do.
Office space.
Band of Brothers. Yeah, he's got some good, he's got some doozies in there.
He's so good in that.
It's crazy. And it's also crazy because that's, like, the least one like him. Like, he's not like that at all.
It is. Ron's not very actor-ish.
No, not at all. I mean, I think I drive him a little crazy.
No. If anything, he's like a little Mr. Magoo-ish.
That's what drives me crazy. He has this moment every day where he sits on the end of our bed with his socks in his hand and stares at them for about seven minutes. And I'm always like, what is that?
I don't know.
Yeah, but then when I say like, what are you thinking about right now? And it is some, it's usually something like that happened in history in like 1712 or the cooling and heating system in our house. Like he like, you know, he reads Scientific American for fun. Like he's not into...
I have it. Ron has it. My oldest kid has it. And my youngest doesn't. And it's like, she's so miserable with all of us.
I mean, because somebody told me, like a doctor told me.
Well, I could tell because you and I, like, I want to cut you off. You want to cut me off. Like, we probably just want to just keep jumping.
I think it's like an impulse.
I don't think that's something else.
No, I think that might be narcissism. No, no, no, no. I like ADHD better.
No, but you said make it all about me. Isn't that the classic?
Is that what I just read today? That's a really good premise.
You are? Yes. Okay.
I want to get nervous.
No. I mean, I do sometimes. Yeah. I mean, sometimes, but not enough. Like, I want that to be harder and scarier. I was really nervous doing Your Sister, Sister. Like, those things made me nervous.
Yeah, the improv and that movie I jumped in last minute for somebody who fell out and I had to like, you know, say hi Mark Duplass and then we're doing like a sex scene into this scene and the break, you know, like it was, I like where, I like the, I like the fear. So yeah, the fact that you're nervous gets me excited. That makes me think you're going to transform your life.
That sounds really helpful to your process.
Yeah, you do a whole recasting of the role and then compare, despair, and then you finally get there.
You just did a series in Vancouver, too.
Yeah, because I ran into John Hamburg, you know, one of your directors.
I didn't get it. I was thinking, like, oh, maybe we could have dinner or something.
Well, at least you were watching old movies.
Well, that's great. But that also tells me you're not that nervous.
OK, but I'm just mean because like I still I guess I still use my trailer time to do like work.
Well, and you also do a lot of comedy.
Yeah. I mean, I do a lot of like, and now I'm the mother of this murder child. You know what I mean? So I'm in my trailer feeling, you know, various degrees of despair.
You're like, I got that.
You have a great role model.
No. I mean, just put on the news.
No, but I'm just saying if you want to just make a list, you could just watch all the moves.
Oh, no, this guy's a good-hearted person.
Yeah, I got you.
I mean, I guess I always did it. I, you know, came, like, you know, we talked about, like, more working class background. Like, nobody went into the arts.
Really? Yeah. So I didn't have, I didn't think it was something I could ever pursue. I went to college to try to not do it. But I was telling a friend recently, we were talking about something. And I was like, yeah, you know, in kindergarten, I wanted to be a ballerina and I got the seal. And then in first grade, I wanted to be Gretel and Hansel and Gretel, but I was the tree.
And she's like, you always wanted to be an actor. Most people couldn't tell you like what roles they didn't get in kindergarten. So I guess I always wanted to do it.
Morristown, near Morristown.
You are? Where? See, I feel genetically New York, but tell me more.
And my dad's from Jersey City. My mom and my dad were both born in Jersey City.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Yeah, I like it. It's beautiful. I mean, parts of it are really beautiful.
But I was born in Queens, so I feel genetic. And then I lived there.
I was born in Queens. And then I, you know, went to college in New York and then went there at 21 to become an actor. So I feel genetically linked to New York in a way.
what it was yeah i guess for a minute you know yeah i guess yeah i remember my cousin got married and they were i wish i could remember it was a queen's boulevard or something there's a whole strip of irish bars oh yeah that's where everybody met and got married yeah yeah yeah so okay so you grew up in jersey yeah and you want to be an actor now given that you were the station of life you were into where your parents like what are you fucking talking about
No, it was kind of good in that no one cared about me that much. You know, like my dad said to me a couple of years ago, he's like, I can't believe that you're successful. And I'm like, what? What do you mean you can't believe it? And he's like, I don't know. I just thought I was like, why? What did you think it would be? He's like, I don't know.
I just thought you'd get married, get pregnant, get married to some guy on the block.
Oh, OK. Thanks.
So, no, they weren't discouraging at all. I think they were like, cool, but I don't think they thought. But I don't even think they cared if I went to college.
That's a lot of parents.
My father-in-law is such a good guy. And he'll say things to me like, you know what Tiger Woods' problem is? And I'm like, tell me. You know what I mean? Because he's really, he's always looking for the loophole, you know.
No, I used to play with my dad.
No, we just kind of did it recreationally after my mom, like a bonding thing after my mom died.
Well, he said I played like an 80-year-old golfer. I just hit it like straight down the fairway, but like 100 yards.
But now I don't care about golf.
That's a funny role, a caddy, right?
How do you see the wind?
Go to New York. I study.
The scene. Well, I went to college and I was like a creative studies major.
Which was like Hofstra. Okay. Make your own Sunday kind of major. Yeah. Classes on Beckett and Jack Kerouac.
And then New York City, I studied with some really, really good theater teachers.
You know, and then I did theater. I thought that was going to be my life. Ron Van Loo.
Earl Gister, Lloyd Richards. Like, really, like, old school.
A lot of scene study.
No Meisner. I never did Meisner. And then I was, you know, doing off, off, off, off, off, off, off, yeah, theater, theater, theater.
Yeah, some crazy plays. Naked?
Naked once.
I'm glad you asked. That's so weird. Nobody's ever said that. Nobody's ever said, oh, you came from the theater naked.
Yeah. It was Off Broadway. Oh. Then my naked one. So it was kind of close to Broadway.
It is. It's like a rite of passage.
It wasn't a bad play.
It was Danny and the Deep Blue Sea. It was a good play.
I think it was probably an okay production.
I mean, it's kind of in the play. But I know what you mean. No, there were other ones. I remember one time I had an agent say to me that, you know, the casting director says she has to be comfortable doing anything naked. Otherwise, you shouldn't come in on this. And I was like, well, I'm not comfortable doing anything. Like, I don't know what that means.
So, I mean, there's certainly a lot of that when you're an actress in your 20s.
And luckily, no one's asking anymore. Yeah.
Did you see that movie? I haven't seen it.
Oh, I'm going to see it.
Did it make you sad?
Well, that's what I meant. Because when you said the sentence that women would do anything to fight aging, I was like, oh, that hurts so much.
Like, why can't we just get old together?
Yeah, we can. But I just mean, like, our culture. Like, why can't we all just, like... It's a culture, too.
Yeah. Yeah.
Freaking out. But I hate that I even think about it. I mean, I don't mind if I think about it like it's related to mortality.
But I don't enjoy thinking about it when when I feel like it's connected to my livelihood.
Or my like how much I'll be able to express myself going forward.
I think I do pretty well.
Yeah. No, I'm happy. I just—you know what I mean? There's a—I think a pressure and— And then you look around, and if everybody's going to look a different age, then, you know, I guess I can start playing grandmas.
I did. I already played a grandma.
I mean, you know, it's like one of those ones where you had the kid at 14. Oh, right, right.
Well, I think it's meant to prepare you.
She must have a condition or can't afford the hairdresser. Yeah, because it's unheard of.
Oh, break, break, break, break.
You know, it's funny. I got my first Broadway offer, and I turned it down because I was getting stuff out here. But that had been the goal. Broadway. At the time, yeah. And then the only reason I think I left New York was because I was going through a divorce, you know, a breakup, and I needed to get out of Dodge. Like, I needed a change of scenery.
So I came out here and I would say got lucky and all those things. And also, you know, when your life is in free fall, you're like, what are you going to do? Tell me I can't have the job. You know, like you have a fearlessness about you. And I was just able to make a couple of things happen. So that gave me a foundation.
It didn't feel like that. Yeah. No, it more felt like I don't. Yeah, or I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do, so I might as well just go for broke, you know, kind of thing.
No, not since my kids. I did a play at Williamstown last, but it's a different gig, you know, with your family.
Yeah, and you also have to move everybody there to not get paid and pull them out of school, you know.
Yeah. Well, it's like Ron is in a dad band right now. It's just fun, you know, his midlife crisis.
He plays the keyboards and sings a bit. How are they? He's really good. I mean, it's the kind of thing, like, they have, you know, these... what are they, 80s songs and these other songs. I don't know how many times you can hear them, sing them, but they're kind of great. They're called Notorious D.A.D.
But my point of bringing it up was, oh, that he's like, God, he's like, I'm glad I became an actor. He's like, you gotta carry your equipment around. You know, like it's so unglamorous. You know, and the theater is a real, it's a real blue collar gig. It's a great gig. I love it. Like, there's nothing like, well, you know, you do comedy in front of a live audience.
You still can do whatever you want, but yeah.
I mean, in terms of like the direction, you know, you can switch it up. But yeah, but you have to say the words.
Yeah, is that an age thing or just an interest thing?
Totally. Yeah, especially if it doesn't work. There was a play I did one time with Jonathan Demme that just didn't quite work. He directed it? He directed it, but he also, it was the only play he ever did as a director, and it's such a different medium. And I used to wake up in the morning and be like, Maybe if I break my own leg, I don't have to do it.
No, just because it was such a hard play and it wasn't working. If it's working, it's transcendent. Right. But it just wasn't working. Oh, no. Yeah, it was hard. Was it off-Broadway? It was off-Broadway, yeah. I'm going to tell you a story that Ron and I do this bit. I one time jumped into a play. I love saying off-Broadway.
Someone got fired and I jumped in with like three or four days of rehearsal.
And somebody in the cast, in order to make me feel better, was like, oh, no, you don't understand. I had to, this guy Michael, oh, I wish I could remember his last name. He was a great musical theater actor.
He had to cover for Martin Short.
But he had to go on in the lead role unrehearsed.
So he had to learn all the songs, all the dances by the next day he was going on. And he said he stayed up till like six in the morning with his wife. And all of a sudden she closes the script and looks at him and says, you don't know this. And sometimes Ron and I just do that to each other.
Because like, could you imagine having to go out and doing an entire play and knowing you just don't know it?
He did it. This is what you do.
No, they don't really know. And although like some of the grand dams of the theater are like, I'd like you to pause right here. And he's like, you'll be lucky if I don't piss on your leg. Like I'm going to do whatever I can do to get through these two and a half hours.
No, just that time. I mean, I've run into him a bunch since. But because that was such an epic movie, I felt like I worked with him more than once. And also he was one of my, you know, when you come up in the theater, I'd seen a lot of Kenny Lonergan plays. They were like really, like This Is Our Youth and Lobby Hero. Those are like seminal plays. Like if you were those ages. Yeah.
You know, if you were in your 20s and you're watching other actors like Mark Ruffalo and Josh Hamilton and Glenn Fitzgerald, like just some Heather Burns, these like great parts.
So I loved I loved Kenny back then. Yeah. So I just, you know, it was a small part, but I was so happy to be part of that ensemble.
Yeah. I love a heavy. I love a heavy movie, though.
That I ever did?
Where you realize, like— Actually, the thing I just did when we were up in Vancouver, it's a limited series for—it's called Untamed, and it's in that vein of Mare of Easttown, you know, or True Detective.
And it was like—that sometimes happens, especially when you're alone, where my kids had left a little bit early to go back to school, and I was like, okay, if I don't finish this role soon because it was so heavy, I'm like, I'm going to go down a little bit. You know what I mean? Like I'm going to slip under.
So I was like, this really needs, you know, and it was just like ended. And I was like, okay, good.
Because I didn't think I could.
You know, you stay in it. It's not even that. It's just like when you said you were watching old movies. Again, it was like, you know, those shows are a lot about like true crime and stuff. And then I'm like imbibing all the true crime stuff, too.
So it's like not only the role when I'm there, when I'm not working, I feel like I should be taking in that stuff, too, just to kind of not lose the thread.
And I'm like, this is not good for me.
Yeah. I got to go home. This has to wrap. So it was perfect timing. Oh, thank God it wrapped. But it was really heavy.
It'll be next year.
Yeah. Oh, I believe it.
And at least if it's a movie or a play. I remember one time Ron said to me, we were somewhere on a beach. And I was like, oh, my God, this beach is amazing. Why is this beach so epic? He's like, well, I think finally you're, like, back to yourself. You know, because it's just, yeah.
First I go, why is the script in my lap? Yeah.
Yeah, no, but like, what's the title of it?
Okay, so what does that mean to you?
Yeah, that's exactly where I would start.
For me, personally. I'd be like, where do I see this dynamic in my own life?
Yeah. And it wouldn't have to necessarily, for me, be in the career. It could be anywhere. But I'd start to mine it.
Okay. Yeah.
Which I love.
He doesn't. Okay.
He's like, who the fuck cares about the Emmys?
There's so much pathos in that, though.
Like, existential. Sure. And also, like, you know, when you spend time with people who are old, like, older, meaning in their 70s and 80s, and how they have to go back to all those past things and keep talking about it and talking about it.
Thank God you figured that out before you started shooting.
No, but I mean, and also sometimes halfway through the shoot, you know, like where you're like, oh, I know.
Yeah, and there might be something I wished I could have, I would have played so different. But then I'm so grateful.
Most of the time you don't, right? Like you grow into it and you find your way.
Yeah. Well, and that's true too. You know what I mean? And like you're saying with process, I don't think it's that. I'm always marvel at the actors who do all the amazing physical exterior work and the inner work at the same time. Like it's such a craft. And then I always just feel like I'm some version degree away from that.
Yeah. Yeah, he is, because that's the thing I hate when I watch. As long as the actor is doing, like, using what's really there, I love it. Yeah. If someone's trying to pretend, you know, that... like the light didn't just fall on their face and keep acting.
Or that they don't. And like, you know, if you're working with the other actor and you kind of can't stand them and it's a love scene, I like seeing that complicated mess of like, you kind of can't stand them and it's a love scene, you know?
Yeah. So there's that.
I know. Well, we're always unsatisfied. Like, that's our job. And the audience is, you know.
They're not sitting there picking it apart. Like, they're there to love it.
I'm seeing it Monday. I heard it's great, actually. Like, the script was really good.
I did a remake of Poltergeist with Sam Rockwell. That, you know, was fun.
I did. But that was almost more of like, you know, that's like a nice horror movie.
You know what I mean?
Smile 2 is like, you're supposed to be freaked out.
Yeah, it's ghosts. Ghosts aren't scary. And this one, everything's a spoiler, but the guy, Parker Finn, who directed it, really knows. It's fun when you're working with a filmmaker who really knows what they want.
And it's like, oh, and yeah, you're going to look right down the lens. Like, they just know what's scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So technically, it was a little challenging, but fun.
I mean, my kids can never see it, but.
I don't know.
I'm like a momager, you know, like a Kris Jenner.
You know, or like any pop star, you know, a pop star's mom.
Yeah, that's what was fun about it. It was fun to play somebody who you were like, is this genuine? Like, do they love their kid? Are they pushing them too much? Like, what's wrong? What's in it for them? You know, all that kind of stuff. So it was a little bit of that kind of exploration.
And the girl who plays my daughter, Naomi Scott, it's so... I don't know if this gets you excited, but she played Princess Jasmine in the Will Smith Aladdin. And then when someone gets to then do such a transformation, you know what I mean? And now she's playing, you know, like Olivia Rodrigo. And she can really sing and dance and do all the things.
So I know she's not going to be able to walk down the street in a couple weeks.
Yeah, because it's going to be...
It'll be big for her.
They do. Especially if it's done well. Because if you go to the movies and you get to all be together and you talk about your feelings. Could you imagine right now if other people all felt the same way you did about starting this job on Monday? You know how good you'd feel if everybody was in it with you? But you get to go to a movie and be all scared together. You know what I mean?
And then laugh that you all had the exact same feeling. It's fun.
Not as much as I used to.
I do. I try to go, too.
I mean, I went to see The Wild Robot the other day because I have kids.
It was great.
Yeah, it was great.
Yeah. Yeah. Great. Great. Great. Still great. I know. Holds up.
I haven't watched it with them. I wonder, yeah, I wonder if they like it. It kind of bums me out, 11 and almost 9. It bums me out when they don't think movies are great. You know what I mean? My daughter the other day went into, she's like, does hip hop, and there was an acting class for dancers at the studio.
And I knew the woman. She's like, oh, she should come in and try it for a little bit. And she kind of looked at me like... No. But she went in. So I opened the door 10 minutes later and she's like rolling around the floor like she's pretending she's a pig and the whole class is laughing. I'm like, oh, she's having a ball. She comes out like 15 minutes later. I was like, oh, is the class over?
She's like, no. Acting is so stupid and boring. I just raised my hand and said, I'm sorry, I need to be somewhere. And she left the class. And I'm like, oh, this thing that I've devoted my life to, you have just decided is like the dumbest stuff ever.
Yeah, but she knows herself. She is like that kid who just doesn't suffer, like whatever that Fosse quote is, doesn't dance for grandma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, yeah, I'm not feeling this at all.
Yeah, she doesn't care.
The opposite. Like she probably is an actress. I won't let her anywhere near it, you know, but she is.
Yeah. Yeah. When she's 18, she could do whatever she wants.
I don't know. I mean, because she's also sometimes, as we all know, she's also really sensitive and like she's all the things, but she's like a natural mimic. And if she hears a song, like when she was little, she would hear songs on the radio and Like, turn it off. It's too sad. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, she just feels stuff. So I also want to protect her. Yeah. You know, it's a business.
It's a job. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't need to go to work.
But she's... Feels stuff. But she feels it so much. Yeah. Do you? It's beautiful. I think maybe I was like that. But like I said, I didn't really grow up in an environment where that was okay.
Yeah, I almost feel like that's like the great, it's like awful to go through these. Like I don't, I always don't want to go through awful experiences. But I realized like, because I've been, I was lucky enough to bury both my parents and be with both my parents when they passed. Like help them go.
And I when I after both those experiences, I was like, this is what it's all about. Like, this is what life is. And then your heart is so much more open and you're capable of so much more love and so much more presence. I mean, maybe that's not everybody's experience, because sometimes those things can sink you.
You have? Yeah. What do you mean?
All right. Yeah, but I just need to understand more.
Yeah, sure, sure.
Of someone loving you?
Yeah, yeah. She was a determined one.
You're withholding with your cats?
Yeah, yeah, well, they are. Yeah.
Tip for tat. Yeah.
Isn't it funny also to find people that believe in you that much later in life? Somebody asked me this morning, who was the first person that made you feel like you could be an actor? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if I've met them. No, I'm kidding. Do you know? I don't know. I think there's a lot of people along the way. But to have somebody see you...
You know what I mean, in life? And, like, also probably know you well enough to know that you want to do it. Like, you want to. Because you seem, as much as you seem scared right now, you seem really excited. You know? No, and, like, really happy.
I love acting because I love that, like, the complexity and the mystery and the beauty and, like, what you had, let's say, with Lynn, like, has a container.
Has somewhere to go.
think anybody thinks about me that much, quite honestly.
Oh, okay. Well, today, what was your assumption about what I was like?
Yeah. Ever.
Oh, that's good to know.
Yeah, yeah. That's the best thing.
And if somebody you love— That's the thing that we all want. We all want to see the thing that everybody doesn't want to show us. I know. Isn't that weird? That's the thing that makes us fall in love with our people and whatever. And that's the thing that I feel like— You've got to let that happen. Yeah.
Well, and also in the role that you're going to do, too. I mean, I don't know why we're talking about acting so much. I mean, I guess I know why because it's a podcast.
Is that like I love to see? Like I love to really see someone take an authentic breath. Like while the camera's on.
Or show that thing that they didn't want us to see, that they didn't plan at home in their room.
But it just kind of happened.
And it made them feel awkward. And again, that's what I know. Of course we're going to talk about Lynn. Those were the moments that she wanted.
So when she found them, that was the lightning in a bottle. And then she built the whole movie around it. She would change the movie. Yeah. Because she's like, that happened. And now we're going to make this whole movie lead up to that moment because that was true.
So good. Yeah. Ron and I wrote a book.
a pilot recently like during the strike just to be creative right and it was like it's like almost sometimes you forget that we lose people yeah because i was like well lynn will direct this yeah you know what i mean and then like it's like i woke up i was like oh wait no and i was like oh god i gotta go find my my my lynn but there's no lynn so then you just have to go out and make new friends and new creative partnerships and there isn't anyone like as poetic in the way that she was poetic you know there are other
Yeah. I was so glad, though, that I was coming to do this with you. It's so nice to see you.
You guys talked. We did. We went through a lot of years, especially in between projects, where we really kind of had to hash life out.
But you do that when you're struggling.
I had a big, long infertility journey, and she was going through her stuff. And then when you get happy, that's when you don't talk to each other as much. Yeah.
Yeah, you can just text or send a Marco Polo.
Yeah, that's it. You know, and then until the next big threshold that you want to share with them.
Like maybe seven or eight years, like you've had a long road, but I wouldn't change it because now that I met my kids, I'm like, they wouldn't be these kids if it didn't take the exact amount of time that it took.
And how are the adults, like the young kids now that are adults, like how are they in their adopted life? Because it comes with a lot of loss, too.
All that. Yeah, you can't not. It's, again, like when we're talking about the other existential things, like that's an existential question. And like, where do I come from?
I mean, I think the way that, not a trend, that's not the right word, but the way they kind of do it now in adoption is like, You know, you try to do open adoptions. Like, we know our daughter's birth families and stuff, and we're in relationship. Oh, you are? Yeah, but they didn't really do that back when your brother adopted.
And then if you went back, like, if someone like you or I were adopted, they maybe wouldn't even tell you you were adopted.
Yeah. So who knows what's right and what's in the best interest. I think it might have been when my brother did it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, it's cool. Is it? It is. But, I mean, it's a lot of complexity and nuance, you know, because, you know, you're there to focus on your child. So it's like what's best for them, even though, you know, it's not what's best for me as mom. It's not what's best for them as first mom. It's like what, if you center the kid, like what really is best for them? So you have to take cues off them.
Remember, like, you want to go to the water park with, you know, these guys? And if they say yeah, you do it. If they say no, then you go, okay, we're not going to do it this time.
Yeah, it's heavy. But, I mean, it's like what we're talking about. Life is, right?
Yeah, maybe.
What's he doing right now? He did pick up today. He's home. He's going to go do. You guys live here? We live right, yeah, like Los Feliz.
Yeah. Although I came earlier from press, so that took me like an hour and a half to get here.
Yeah, it wasn't even a junket. It was more like a 40-minute, like a 30-minute with peace and a this and a that.
No, not the rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat.
No, that's just for Smile 2, and then the other one comes out at the end of November.
I hope so. Yeah, it'll be fun.
Oh, yeah, like the one I told you about up in Vancouver.
Oh, you mean one that I haven't done yet?
No. I kind of want to, yeah, I don't know. I really like the writing process. I mean, I guess you do that, too. Ron and I wrote that. I really enjoyed it. So I might, like you're saying, go write that movie. I liked scratching that itch.
Yeah. You don't have the patience for it.
I know. I kind of feel like that's how Ron and I are. I feel like I kind of come up with the rainbows. And then I'm like, how about, what if a scene, and then he can sit there and actually hyper-focus and hammer it out.
But I'm very much like, I'm just going to talk the scene into my phone.
That's like ADHD or something. Maybe that's what that is.
Yeah, he's got his own, yeah.
It was great to talk to you.
Yeah, do you?
That just scared me.
Yeah, when you said, do you get scared? You know, like acting. And I'm like, no, but I want to be scared. I just got scared to see the jacket.
It's good to see you.
I know. Let's not get too sad too quick. I feel sad.
You're going to make me cry like 10 seconds in?
I'll wear it.
Let's see, yeah.
I think we, like, shared some Zoom. That was it? Yeah, and then— Yeah, I'm more remember, I did Little Fires Everywhere with her when she started telling folks that you guys were meeting. So I just remember her kind of pulling me into her, you know, the sad kind of production office, those temporary ones and shutting the door and like locking it and be like, I have to tell you something.
I loved her. It's funny. I was on the way over here. Of course, I was thinking about her. And I was thinking about the way we know some people. And some people, we just know their souls. It's not like you spend Thanksgiving together. Your soul knows their soul. And that's just how I felt about her. And that's so few people in the world.