Sari Solden

I remember listening to it, and pretty soon after that, their book came out. And that was the first big book that talked about the fact that Adults continue to have difficulties even though they lost the hyperactivity.

I remember listening to it, and pretty soon after that, their book came out. And that was the first big book that talked about the fact that Adults continue to have difficulties even though they lost the hyperactivity.

I knew I had massive problems with organization, so I mean, this all made sense to me. I wasn't looking at it through the ADHD lens. All the books, though, about learning disabilities did talk a lot about disorganization, but they didn't attribute it to this.

I knew I had massive problems with organization, so I mean, this all made sense to me. I wasn't looking at it through the ADHD lens. All the books, though, about learning disabilities did talk a lot about disorganization, but they didn't attribute it to this.

I remember taking that book with me to a family wedding in Modesto, California, and that book really opened my eyes to that.

I remember taking that book with me to a family wedding in Modesto, California, and that book really opened my eyes to that.

Where they really test all of your, like, verbal abilities, all your memory abilities. It's a very in-depth test. And your IQ, and they're looking for problems, you know. So for me, I had a big split between my performance, like visual, spatial. I can't do that at all. I have like a 99th percentile in one of my subtests, like for instance, of verbal abilities.

Where they really test all of your, like, verbal abilities, all your memory abilities. It's a very in-depth test. And your IQ, and they're looking for problems, you know. So for me, I had a big split between my performance, like visual, spatial. I can't do that at all. I have like a 99th percentile in one of my subtests, like for instance, of verbal abilities.

and a 9% in, like, putting things together in a thing, you know? So I can't unload the dishwasher. I tell my husband, look, here's my test results. I'm not making it up.

and a 9% in, like, putting things together in a thing, you know? So I can't unload the dishwasher. I tell my husband, look, here's my test results. I'm not making it up.

I'm seeing, okay, the women and men, even though they're telling me the same problems, having completely different reactions. So the men, they do not have the shame about the disorganization. And the women were hiding and pretending and ashamed and not being able to, you know, achieve or get out there or there is such secrecy. That was the thing I saw.

I'm seeing, okay, the women and men, even though they're telling me the same problems, having completely different reactions. So the men, they do not have the shame about the disorganization. And the women were hiding and pretending and ashamed and not being able to, you know, achieve or get out there or there is such secrecy. That was the thing I saw.

And it was really focused on their cultural expectations, what women have. internalized from the culture about what they should be able to do domestically, especially, you know, taking care of all the things, all the children's stuff, all the responsibilities. So they internalize these expectations deeply, even today still, and they idealize them and

And it was really focused on their cultural expectations, what women have. internalized from the culture about what they should be able to do domestically, especially, you know, taking care of all the things, all the children's stuff, all the responsibilities. So they internalize these expectations deeply, even today still, and they idealize them and

Then they toxically compared themselves to other people and their self-narrative and the shame and the distortion. It was so much more for women. Women all the time say, how do other women do it? All they say is, how do they do it? They fantasize about some kind of organizational nirvana. When I get to that level, then I'll be happy and everything will be okay.

Then they toxically compared themselves to other people and their self-narrative and the shame and the distortion. It was so much more for women. Women all the time say, how do other women do it? All they say is, how do they do it? They fantasize about some kind of organizational nirvana. When I get to that level, then I'll be happy and everything will be okay.

Often there's self-medicating with Diet Coke or caffeine, or sometimes you have like OCD-looking compensation for the ADHD. And, you know, and they're very, like, I get like that before people like you come over.

Often there's self-medicating with Diet Coke or caffeine, or sometimes you have like OCD-looking compensation for the ADHD. And, you know, and they're very, like, I get like that before people like you come over.

I used to have a woman who would see a psychiatrist early on. A guy told her, well, take this pill, and when your house is clean, you're cured. I mean, it was bad on so many levels. That's what they used to tell women, like, okay, so the goal would be to clean your house, and this pill is going to cure you of who you are. These are real-life stories.

I used to have a woman who would see a psychiatrist early on. A guy told her, well, take this pill, and when your house is clean, you're cured. I mean, it was bad on so many levels. That's what they used to tell women, like, okay, so the goal would be to clean your house, and this pill is going to cure you of who you are. These are real-life stories.