Shankar Vedantam

And sometimes we need to respect that not everyone is comfortable sharing their secrets with us.

While your guests may feel that we should share more, I would argue that we should be more tolerant of each other and that tolerance will lead to more trust and that trust will lead to more disclosure.

What do you think of David's point here, Leslie, that we should focus more on tolerance and building trust rather than feeling pressure to disclose our secrets or demand that others tell us their secrets?

A listener named Tracy called in to share that she thinks keeping a secret can be pleasurable.

At the end of the day, I don't keep secrets, but I love secrets.

I love listening to secrets.

I love having secrets.

When I got married, my husband said to me, you know, you love secrets.

I just wonder, where does the love of secrets come from?

And is that normal?

Do other people feel this way?

Thank you.

So, Leslie, can you tell Tracy if she is normal?

I mean, I think this is also true at an organizational level.

There are things that sometimes an organization or a company is trying to do, and it might be a trade secret.

They might be working on something that is a joint project that the rest of the world doesn't know.

And clearly, those are the kinds of situations that draw people together.

So even if it's not an intimate relationship, a shared secret can bring people together.

Yeah, I've often thought that the people who are enjoying the surprise enjoy the surprise more than the person getting the surprise.

Leslie says the same pattern often holds in our personal relationships as well.