Shumita Basu

Hey, it's Shamita.

Just a heads up, I am having a baby, my second baby.

And so I'm going to be stepping away from the mic for a little bit.

Pretty soon, you're going to hear some amazing guest hosts, starting with Sam Sanders, the award-winning podcast and radio host.

Until then, here is an episode that we recorded before I left.

I hope you enjoy it.

This is In Conversation from Apple News.

I'm Shamita Basu.

Today, when the vow in sickness and in health becomes a uniquely American burden.

When Laura Malden was 27 years old, she was a sociology grad student in New York City.

One night she went to a WNBA game with some friends, and that's where she met Jaye.

Just weeks into the glow of their new relationship, Jay told Laura that her leukemia, which had long been in remission, had returned.

Jay's parents were both dead, and Laura, newly in love, quickly stepped up to help with Jay's care.

The bone marrow transplant was followed by appointments and more treatments, doctor's visits, and consultations that started overwhelming their lives.

Laura didn't notice the shift at first, but over time she went from being Jay's romantic partner to being her full-time caregiver.

It's been two decades since Jay died.

Laura is now a professor of sociology at the University of Connecticut, and her time as Jay's caregiver inspired her new book, In Sickness and in Health, Love Stories from the Frontlines of America's Caregiving Crisis.

In it, she talks with dozens of couples about how illness and disability have strained their relationships and reshaped their lives, often because America's thin health care system leaves families without support.

And a warning that this episode does mention suicide.

I sat down with Laura to hear some of these stories about, as she puts it, the consequences of being the one.