Stacy Staggs
Appearances
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
So, before our mom passed, she once said, your brother will fight his way out, your sister will con her way out, and then there's you. You're the one I worry about. It was as if I didn't have my own superpower, but all foster children do. It is how we remain resilient when life forces us to adapt. What was my superpower, you ask? I'm tenacious. I don't give up.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
If it's something I really want, I'll make it happen. If my initial way doesn't work and I see a loophole, best believe you can consider that hole looped. My brother, the fighter, had chosen his path. His son was following in his footsteps. He was in safe custody and was at a treatment facility. My nephew George calls me one night from there.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
He sounded scared, didn't know where he was headed, and asked to move in. I might go loud, y'all. This triggered something in me as I thought about this life-changing decision. I was single, lived alone, just a vegetarian lesbian auntie minding her own business. I'd cuss, read tarot cards, and see a psychic. However, she did not tell your girl about this, so I may need a new one.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
As I thought about this decision, I had a lot of questions that ran through my mind. I've never been a parent. Will I be any good at this? What do they eat? And is my social life over? But the main question I kept coming back to was, could I live with myself if I didn't at least try? The answer was always no. So George moved in. It's interesting living with a boy. I've never really done that.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
I don't know a lot about these creatures. They do eat meat, apparently, but joke's on him. I don't even know how to cook it. Chicken is not supposed to be pink, and I thought I was doing hot girl shit by trying a new recipe, and he thought I tried to kill him. He puts empty cereal boxes back in the cabinet. I do not understand this. He announces when he has to dookie.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
I've literally never asked, not once have I ever asked, hey George, do you have to poop soon? He stinks, calls me bruh. and obsesses about going through puberty. Just recently, he told me about his newly acquired armpit hairs. He should be a man any day now. I think that's how it works. So this whole parenting thing, I think, is the hardest thing I probably will ever do.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
I don't even know what I'm doing half the time or if it's the right thing to do. And I'm just out here trying not to traumatize a child any more than he already has been. I have a lot of push and pull with my own decision making. You see, at his age, I was in group homes, residential facilities, one last foster home, then independent living before aging out.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
So my sense of normal is a bit non-traditional, I suppose. It is important for me, for George, to have normal childhood experiences. We did go to the beach last year, and it was his first time. He had a very sweet video that he had taken documenting his time at the beach. And just the pure joy that was on his face brought joy to my face.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
And I was like, oh, this must be the great part of parenthood. To see your child happy, right? And to think that I had given him that memory. I did. How cool is that? Thank you. It will not be a part of George's story that no one stepped up for him. When I made that decision, I not only did that for him, I did that for my own inner child to heal.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
You see, no one stepped up for me, which left me feeling hurt, abandoned, and angry. As a child, I thought my family didn't love me. And after a while, you realize no one is coming to save you. Survival is different than living. I've only recently learned that I've lived most of my life in survival mode, always waiting for the shoe to drop. I'm working on living now.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
My mother doubted my ability to survive. Not only did I do that, but I'm bringing her grandchild with me to empower him in hopes that he will not just survive, but also live.
The Moth
The Moth Podcast: Family Matters
George is good. He has officially entered the next phase of his life with becoming a young man. He has shot up at least a foot. He towers over me now. His voice is changing. And he lovingly says he finally has more mustache hair than myself. He likes to spend his time playing with friends, playing basketball, playing video games. And roasting me. It's great. I love it. Yeah.