Stephen Collar

speaker

310 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jan 2025 last heard Jan 2025

Stephen Collar’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Home Service Expert Podcast · Achieving 500% Productivity Through Flow States · 10 Jan 2025 podcast

And as we age, the chromosomes shrink, right? We lose our telomeres. Loving kindness meditation actually increases telomere health. So you can calm down your nervous system and it's got an anti-aging benefit. So the other thing about loving kindness meditation, we know this as adults, this is adult development.

So if you want to have a successful second half of your life, you want to be happy, healthy, and joyous like 45 forward. By age 50, if you really want to enjoy the second half of your life and have a high flow and all that, you need to forgive most of the people who have done you wrong.

if you carry grudges into the second half of your life it tends to make you miserable over time and it blocks so humans most people don't know this but your brain development doesn't stop as a kid it keeps going and there's really cool amazing things that happen in your brain in your 40s and 50s.

You actually, if you get it right, and we'll talk about what right means in a second, you unlock whole new levels of intelligence, whole new, this is in our country, right? This is pre-performance age. You get new levels of intelligence, new levels of creativity, new levels of wisdom, new levels of empathy. Now think about this from a business perspective, right?

What do we know about the world today? Well, customer-centric thinking is really important because our customers matter. If you don't have empathetic employees, You're going to fuck up your company culture and you're going to fuck up your customer relationships. If you don't have wise employees, same problems. So these are all the things we actually want in people. So it really matters.

How do we unlock these things? There's only two things to do. One, by about age 50, you have to forgive all the people who have done you wrong. And how do you do that? Well, there's a lot. You can spend years in psychotherapy, give it a go, or you can do loving kindness meditation. Loving kindness meditation tends to do that work for you. The other thing you need to do is learn how to be creative.

So to have a successful second half of your life, flow is very deeply involved in it, but just to sort of get in the door, you have to be able to be creative and you have to forgive the people who've done you wrong. Starting in your late 40s to 50s, creativity is what unlocks these new thinking styles in your brain.

There's a bunch of brain changes, like the two sides of the brain start working together like never before. The brain starts to colonize underutilized resources and things like this. There's things that happen in the brain And loving kindness, meditation, or forgiveness plus creativity is how you really take advantage of it. And it leads to more flow also.

It's worse that they hated you at the beginning.

Criticism is interesting because coming up as a journalist, I've never been in a field where people are ruder. than in journalists, editors dealing with journalists. Like my favorite story is Wired Magazine. The editor is a good friend of mine still. Wired Magazine sends me to the Everglades. I'm writing about the Everglades restoration project. Largest, it's $8 billion to fix the Everglades.

Largest public works project anybody's ever done. I live in a freaking swamp for three months, middle of the Everglades. The only place to get dinner is the raunchiest strip club. I mean, like, it's like the worst thing you've ever... I've never seen anything like what was going on in the strip club in the middle of the Everglades. It's the only place to eat.

There's a gas station and a strip club. And it's like scientists and people who are killing alligators for a living and selling boot skins and things like that. Nobody else is out there. It's a tough story to report. I spend four or five months writing it, turning it to my editor. He calls me up. He's like, Stephen, there's just one thing I didn't understand. I read your story.

There's just one thing I didn't understand. And I am just like my ego. that good i just one thing i got i was like what's that adam he's like every word you wrote and i had to start over like literally like and that comment in editors editors speaking to writers like that that was what i did for 15 years i had people just

rude to me all the time because they're overworked they got to get the pieces in and they don't have time for crap writing it's easier for them to be rude to me and hire another writer to put them on the story than it may be to help me fix it sometime and this is way before the world of ai where people could yeah and and this is also by the way this was my here's the part of that story that i left out i told you i bankrupted myself in lyme disease this was my comeback story

So I needed this money so desperately. Like I was so poor and I needed them to accept this story. My point is that I've gotten like, it's funny because there are one-star reviews and I, you know, people say all kinds of crap, but I don't take any of the personal stuff personally, but it's like, I always assume if somebody doesn't like something, this is when I work with editors too.

And, or really I do it in business too. If you don't like something of mine, I believe that there's probably something wrong on the page where you were like, yeah, I really, I got lost here. I don't get what you're doing. I'm not into that. I don't think you know what you're talking about. I just think something's wrong there. You don't have any clue.

You don't know enough about writing or my story or whatever. Be accurate with your, but something's wrong there. So I take the criticism as, okay, there's something here. Like I'm in the neighborhood. I don't trust your opinion because I don't think you have enough expertise about my thing. You have to tell me the exact thing that's wrong. But I trust enough that you're in the neighborhood.

And I just take it and I'm like, okay, how do I do it better next time so that this neighborhood doesn't want to revolt against me, right? That's how I sort of think about it. But I don't know. You know, I'm an old school punk rocker. So like, I'm kind of used to you not liking me, right? I grew up in Ohio with a Mohawk. Like the whole state wanted to beat me up for 20 years.

I actually speak at this in a flow way. So people ask me like, what is the goal you're training? Training in flow, what's a win? What do we call success? And so I'm going to use a couple of technical terms, then I'll explain. So what success to me is, as I said, clear goals are a flow trick. So a daily to-do list, well set. Well, and we can talk about what that means, what that looks like.

I wanted to dive into that. We'll dive into that because it's probably important. But to me, there's a term in flow. So flow is defined, psychologists define flow. It has six core characteristics. How do you know if you're in flow? How do you know if your team's in flow? Complete concentration on the task at hand.

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