Steve Carrell

While most small towns do their best to fight crime and drugs, the mayor of Inglis, Florida is far more ambitious.

Why are you in support of Satan coming to town?

So you would say you are pro-Satan?

So you are pro-Satan?

But why do you want Satan in your town?

Why do you like Satan so much?

It was clear I needed to take a different tack. In terms of supporting Satan, why are you? But despite one or two Satan-loving dissenters, it seemed like Mayor Risher's biggest challenge was enforcing her ban. I am Satan. I'm trying to come into your town. What do you say to me? You have no right to come into English. Well, I don't care about your proclamation. I'm coming in.

I'm all evil, and I'm coming in. Looks like a nice town to set up shop.

Well, I'm coming in. I don't care what you say.

Imagine I'm Satan. You take away that proclamation. How are you going to keep me out of Inglis?

Yes, with Mayor Risher on the case, there will be nowhere for Satan to hide. Or will there?

Uh, I'm sorry?

Oh, okay. Actually, it's pronounced Crocodile. I was named after my grandmother. All right. Well, you know what? Why don't we just get to the animals? Great. Excellent idea. I think you're going to be very, very excited about what we have in store for you today, John. I'm donning these only as a precaution. Now, these animals are used to being in front of people. They're used to being handled.

As a public servant, Carolyn Risher knew it was her duty to protect the citizens from Beelzebub.

But they're animals, right? Exotic animals. Exotic animals. And they're unpredictable. You really never know.

No, I mean, I'm a professional at this, so don't be too afraid. But if you see one start to leap at you, I'd take it away. All right, well, let's get to it.

Let's get to it. Now, this first animal is actually of European descent.

It's called Canis familiaris. Yeah. It's from the Latin. Let's get him out of there right now. Now, I want you to look closely. Now, don't be afraid, John, OK?

I want you to look closely at this animal's teeth and jaw. If we can get a shot. Well, I'll have to describe the teeth for you, not being too... Oh, are we getting that? Are we getting the teeth? John, if you can imagine, do you know what chiclets are? If you can imagine sharpening chiclets with a file... That's what these teeth are like.

When they attack their prey and consume it, the prey being either something that they have caught or generally with this variety, something from a can or a bag. This, this, you'll notice the coat, the coat. You know what?

As you can tell, they're prone to seizures. The coat is very thick for urban apartment winters. Do you have any other... Do you have any other exotics? Actually, I do. You got that, Campbell? Yes. Let's get this, oh, I think this is right up your alley. Here we go. Can we get a shot of this? Take a look, right down there, John. Look, quick, quick. Yes, it's a- You see it, you see it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a goldfish. It's moving around, ah, yes, it is. A goldfish.

Well, as a matter of fact, this was one of only five existing fish in my friend's apartment. And even though it is a goldfish, it is not in fact made of gold.

Yes. Campbell, could you bring out the other exotic creature? Could you just... I think you'll enjoy this. This is awesome.

very nice listen uh i'm a little disappointed because that's i i thought we were doing an exotic animal segment you know you you told me this morning that i had to do this segment what do you want me to get a komodo dragon is that what you want john i'll bring on a big komodo dragon they're not even legal in the united states is that what you want is that what you want i'll bring a komodo dragon is that what you want want a komodo dragon because i can get one for you

And so Mayor Risher courageously legislated the devil out of town.

Recently on this program, I had the privilege of visiting with perception expert Mike Russ. During my long, long day, I came to realize that Mike Russ sees things other people don't. Things like counter-rotating magnetic fields, the truth about the alien who masquerades as Donny Osmond, and even that white T-shirts are not always what they seem.

And now, the stunning conclusion of Mike Russ, the interview.

What is the correlation between the 12-foot lizards and the missing children? They eat them. The lizards eat the missing children. So the children we see on the side of milk containers, some have been eaten by 12-foot lizards.

So when you needed Bob Hope, what could you tell me about his features that give away the fact that he's an alien?

So being an alien is bad, but being an alien and being British.

Later, Mike Russ showed me an actual and fully levitating Levitron.

Now, how long will that stay that way? All day long. By the end of the day, I could hardly contain all that I had learned. And as we broke bread together, I was amazed to see that Mike Russ continues to perceive even while eating. Jar Jar Binks, is that an actual name? Or is that just some creation?

What? Skeneb. Skeneb. Rajraj.

It really is, John. And according to Mike Russ, our world may not be ours alone.

16-foot lizards.

You think so? Thank you. Thank you, Steve. Thank you, Jon Stewart, or should I say, Trawitznaj?

The effects of the mayor's Satan ban were immediate and miraculous. But there were some minor issues. Just to play devil's advocate for a minute. Right. Does this proclamation violate the separation of church and state? No, sir. Question, answer. But how has the town reacted? How has the town reacted? Wonderful. Supportive?