Unknown Caller

Hi, my name is Gail. I've got a question about tonight's episode. Beverly Russell was Susan Smith's stepfather. Did the mother stay married to Beverly Russell after all this came out in court?

Hey, how you doing? You doing okay? I'm hanging in there. Well, that's good. I'm concerned about you and just wanted to know how you were doing. Well, I appreciate you calling. That means a lot.

And I was freaking out. I thought, we cannot have Rob's murderer around our friends and their kids.

Hey. Are you okay? Yeah. They're down here. How do you know? It was obvious there was someone posted at a corner.

And that's all they want.

What's that?

What type of marriage did you guys have?

Hello?

I was just calling to let you know that there's a bunch of people praying for you. I just wanted to see how your family's doing.

Out of thumb? Does that say curtains? Curtains.

Hello, Dropouts viewers. As you can see, I've taken your precious Jared.

The game is simple. If you want him to get out of here alive, then all you need to do is subscribe to the Dropouts Patreon.

Leave me a message.

Subscribing is easy. Just go to patreon.com slash dropouts pod. Should you fail to play the game, I will release a deadly nerve agent that will lead Jared to an excruciating end. The choice is yours, life or death. Let the games begin.

Finally, maybe this would lead rich and powerful people to acknowledge the barbaric nature of our health care system.

Leander, place front. Hi, I'm calling because I would like to know if you guys did a wellness check on the two missing Brazilian girls. Is an officer going to go over there and talk to them because they really need to?

Pity!

Hey guys. I was just wondering how you felt about being dethroned as the top trending pet name in sports. I didn't know that. I didn't know we were on top over.com. According to their 2024 top trending, Pet Names Report, Jalen Brunson is now the number one trending sports name, and now Kelsey is number two. Way to go, Jalen.

And I just wondered, because last year I saw that you were number one, so I just wondered how you felt. Just wanted to get your reaction on being dethroned by an NBA player. So please, let us know on the pod. Thanks.

Oh, beer.

Are you all right?

Hello. Hey, how's it going? It's going good.

Are you all right? Yeah.

I'm just going to...

Dude, thank you so much for taking my call. I just, I love you, man. I appreciate all that you do. And I have found an extraordinary amount of help through your show.

Okay, let me ask my question first, and if you want me to expound, I can expound. I would just like to know from a professional what the data is. Basically, what effect do romance novels and your wife reading them have on your marriage and your sex life?

Yeah, dude. So we've been married seven years, and my wife is my ride or die. We love each other. We've got a couple of kiddos that we're trying to raise, and things are fantastic. As far as our sex life goes, I just honestly feel that the expectations that these – romantic novels create.

The expectations it creates are almost like impossible for me to reach, and I feel like it's having an effect on our romantic life and on our sexual life, but I don't want to bring it up Uh, and almost like accuse that of, of being a reason why I feel like, uh, she escapes to those fantasies, um, during sex instead of like staying present with me like we used to.

Oh, dude, yeah. I mean, I'll just shoot you straight. So we're very open with that stuff. And we've talked about fantasies, and I feel like in some ways they've had a positive effect. And a lot of the fantasies that she has stem from situations in these books.

And so, yeah, during sex, I can just feel her and see her, you know, go off into these fantasies, you know, mentally through her body language and so forth. And she'll even straight up say it and tell me. And while that helps her during sex, I feel like it's divided us in a way where it used to just be like the whole world shuts down. It's her and I.

We communicate throughout it and now communication is lessened. It's far more quiet. All that stuff. I don't feel like she does just kind of go to these fantasies and I feel like In order for her, you know, to reach level sexually that she wants, she has to escape to those fantasies and almost escape reality. And I just, I don't like how it makes me feel. Yeah.

I don't like how it is, you know, for a sex life. And so, yeah, I could just use some help on how to talk to her about it and what the data, I know that. you know, porn affects that, right? Like watching porn obviously affects and creates expectations that aren't realistic in sex.

And I want to know if I'm crazy for trying to bridge the gap and connecting the two or, or what your thoughts are on it.

Yeah, I think it does. And, you know, to add a little bit more context, my wife, like she... So we both own businesses and one of her like secondary things that she focuses on is digital minimalism. So she knows like the effects of social media stuff. She tries to stay away from it far more than I do. She's fantastic in that way.

And she's not, you know, every day hiding in her closet, just indulging in these books. It's enough that she's created a handful of escape routes. And so to your point, yes, I do feel like since we talk about it and we're open with it, it's almost like permission to go there. And what used to be a handful of times, you know, what are you thinking about? Blah, blah, blah.

Now it's like in order, in order for our sexual experience to be complete, if you know what I'm saying, she just has to, she just has to go there and just totally check out. And so, so yeah, you're, you're not wrong in a sense that it's almost like created this permission, but now it's,

It's almost like what used to be a handful of times is just every time, and we've lost our personal intimate connection where we're locked into each other.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I've even found... Go ahead. I'm sorry, I was just going to say, I've even found myself, like, to connect with her, just mentally going with her to these fantasies. That's right. And I just, I don't jam with it.

Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. And she'll say again, like we're very open with it and she'll... Oh, what are you talking about? Yeah, of course. In certain times, like, it's with me in these other settings, but I just, again, the basis of it is I just feel like... You feel relieved. How I am currently. Yeah.

And it's like, I'm not good enough here, like, performance-wise, emotional-wise. Like, I'm just not fulfilling it here.

Yes. Yep. Right? The world shuts off.

Okay.

Oh, go ahead. Lay stuff out, and then the next conversation is how do we rebuild this thing?

What is your opinion or feedback about what you've seen about relationships being successful if there is a substantial age gap? of, let's say, 10, 15 years. What has been your understanding as to the overall satisfaction of those relationships and the ability for them to be able to be long-lasting and satisfying when compared to relationships with, you know, less than a 10-year age gap or so?

How do I know if I'm actually building something? If there is a substantial age gap? It seems to me unwise to reproduce things being this uncertain.

We're dealing with a pattern of misbehaviors with our son. Our 13-year-old throws tantrums.

Our son turned to some substance abuse.

So my question is, how do I know if I'm actually building something important or just staying busy to feel productive? Sometimes it seems like I'm doing a lot, but... I'm not sure whether the path is right for me. That's my question. And I also want to say thank you very much, Dr. Jordan Peterson, for completely changing my life with his views, mental models, and the book, 12 Rules of Our Life.

Thank you very much.

If you hear a baby screaming, she's hungry. But how does one distinguish between a relationship that requires personal growth and sacrifice to thrive and one that is fundamentally misaligned with one's deeper values and should be let go?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Dear Dr. Peterson, largely thanks to discovering your lectures as I was going through a very rough patch in 2017, I am now a former truck driver turned part-time security guard and full-time law student. You helped me rediscover meaning, culture, and rekindled the flame that drove me and I am forever grateful to you.

I am, however, less and less optimistic about the future of Western civilization, as it seems that a lot of what gave it meaning is evaporating in front of our eyes, particularly with wokeness working ever so hard to divide us all. It seems to me unwise to reproduce things being this uncertain.

Do you have any words to rekindle my faith that we are still in fact able to create a world that is suitable for children to inherit?

Here's a small part of it.

Let's go. I've always loved taking something pretty ordinary and elevating it. Surprising people with moments that let them know I was really thinking of them. What? This is probably one of the most glamorous moments of my life. I'm going to share some little tips and tricks. I see what color I gravitate to, and everything goes from there. And how you can incorporate these practices every day.

That's what you want. You want that shape and texture. Come on. This is about connecting with friends. I love that we're doing this together for the first time. Making new friends. That is so good. We're family now.

I've often said that gender-affirming care is health care, it is mental health care, and it can actually be suicide prevention care.

I think I'm gonna take some medicine so I can kind of like transform into a boy, get surgery.

After the surgery, I didn't really feel any better. When it stopped being a thing for adults and it started to be a, let's teach this to kids. Total lie. Manipulation. It's gaslighting. Please stop.

He's a boy, not a girl. How could she do this to my son?

What they're talking about is hormonal therapy or sex reassignment surgery on children. I thought fixing me externally would fix me internally, but of course I was wrong.

All I want to do is hold my son.

Are you asking me to lie to parents? And he said, yes.

This is an weaponized use of a parent's sympathy and caring and concern by the left to destroy your child. Let's tell kids that maybe they can be the opposite sex. Maybe they actually are the opposite sex.

It is an evil thing to tell children that happiness lies on the other side of puberty blockers or double mastectomies.

The left so badly wants to blur these lines. That's a five alarm fire. It's criminal.

People see you and they're like, wow, look at you. You know, they're so excited. Here's a female black officer. Because it's not a lot of us.

Governor, you got a second? Governor! Governor, I live here, Governor!

That was my daughter's school, Governor. Please tell me what you're going to do. I'm not going to hurt him. I promise.

I'm literally talking to the president right now to specifically answer the question of what we can do for you and your daughter.

Can I hear it? Can I hear your call? Because I don't believe it.

I'm sorry. There's literally... I've tried five times. That's why I'm walking around to make the call.

Why is the president not taking your call?

Because it's not going through.

Why? I have to get cell service. So let's get it. Let's get it. I want to be here when you call the president.

I appreciate it. I'm doing that right now.

Hmm.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

No.

Yeah.

So my husband, my ex-husband has not been able to hold down a job due to his health and he has not paid alimony or child support in five months. His only assets are his 401k and a little bit of the equity in the house that I got in the divorce that he gets, he gets that equity when I refinance, when I finished school.

So I'm wondering if it's fair to ask him to cash out some of his 401k to pay his responsibilities. I know there's huge punishments, but he's working on disability and that can take a long time, but he's got no other assets to feed his kids.

Yeah. Right. Like I'd rather he, you know, keep his kids alive now than, I don't know.

I'm getting financial support from my family. I'm going through school. I've still got years to go before I can have any training that can pay anything more than fast food.

No, no, I believe it's genuine. He can't work.

So our housing, we refinanced this house when it was at the bottom of the interest. My interest rate is 2.6. My mortgage is $1,000. Okay. I can't rent a studio apartment in Utah for under a thousand dollars.

Financial sense means that the kids and I stay here. If I was still married to him, we would keep this house. If we were still married, I would ask him to petition some kind of hardship to get into his 401k. His parents are paying his rent. I guess my parents are, my parents are paying my mortgage rent.

He needs to do a bankruptcy because of his credit card debt since the divorce. And so he's threatening that he needs a bankruptcy. And I'm worried that this is an asset in his name.

He has $250,000 in it. And how old is he? He's 42 years old.

He's going to have to fight to get on disability. He hopes that he can rejoin the workforce someday, but based on his last 10 years of health, I don't see how it's possible. He's hit an early dementia.

I just feel like I'm asking my family for help to take care of his children.

They're your children too though.

Yeah, no, they are. And I have a plan. I'm getting through school as quickly as I can. I'm selling my blood money.

I mean, doesn't he have it? Can't he get into that 401k? Isn't it better to use it now?

I don't see him living until he's 65.

I don't know if he switched it over to his new wife and his kids, but I have a life insurance on him that I kept from our marriage.

His is $500,000. And you're the beneficiary? I am.

Is it fair if I, because my sister's supporting me and I'd like to pay her back someday. Is it fair to say, hey, if you forego the equity that I owe you, then you can not pay me the child support?

I'm going for radiology technology.

How are you?

I'm okay. Thank you.

What's up? My question is, so I'd be paying off my only debt I have, which is my car payment tomorrow. So that would be clear. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. My husband has just a $7,200 car payment, and he just took out another line of credit for $8,000. So my question is, I have about $600 spare from my car payment. Should I help him pay back his line of credit?

But my worry is that he paid off $10,000 line of credit last year, and he took another $8,000 and put it in stock. So my worry is that if I help pay him, like help pay his line of credit back, he's going to take another line of credit, and we're going to be in debt still over and over again.

Yeah, we don't have joint accounts. We have separate.

So I didn't know he took out another $8,000. He was talking about it, but I didn't know actually he was doing it. All I said was, he just paid off the $10,000. He worked overtime to do that. And he said, well, I really want to do stocks. I was like, okay, I'll look into it. And he took out $8,000 for it. And I didn't think he would actually do it because he just finished it off.

Yeah.

So he got into finances after reading Dave Ramsey books.

He wanted to do something different, I think. He wanted to do stocks. He's into stocks now. I have no idea what... He's probably day trading.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I'm calling y'all, so... So not well.

Well, I am calling because my husband and I, when we had some debt issues, we went to like a negotiation company, basically. They have us going into delinquency, and then they negotiate.

Yes, and I was totally against it. My husband, it just, okay. So this is the reality. So they have negotiated. We have a total of about $38,000. in debt, uh, with three different creditors, uh, it's credit cards. Um, so two of our credit cards were negotiated or settled, I should say. And we spoke to the representative yesterday because I'm like, I want to know, can we get out of this?

What's the penalty? You know, what is this all entail? And so right now, We still have one creditor that has not been negotiated yet. And I'm trying to tell my husband, I'm like, I want to get out of this. I think we can handle it ourselves. But, you know, he's kind of like, well, we're in it now and we need to, you know, stick with it so we can get out of this.

And I'm just trying to see if we do have a path to get out of it.

Yes, there is.

So the fees and penalties, so we've been 10 months into the program. Once they do your negotiations, for every payment that you do, it's $347 per month.

credit card you know that they are negotiating just to fees so i mean it's insane and that's for 12 months is what it is you see why i'm not a fan of these companies oh absolutely let's help you get out of debt by screwing you over completely exactly but they're like the payoff right now for those two would only be 16 000 how much money do you guys make

So we are very much a budgeter, but we're about bringing home about $6,300. That's after taxes.

Mm hmm.

Well, I used to be one of those guys. I didn't even think about it. And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance. That's a gut punch. For decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse. They've lost somebody important to them. Me too. And they don't know what to do next.

I hate to admit this, but I don't always eat right. I know, I need to eat more fruits and veggies, but sometimes I just have to pound some chips because they taste so good. That's why I love my Field of Greens. It helps me eat healthy when I don't have much time. And each fruit and vegetable in Field of Greens was doctor selected for a specific health benefit.

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So go to fieldofgreens.com slash Ramsey for 20% off your first order. That's fieldofgreens.com slash Ramsey to save 20% on your first order.

Wow.

Yes.

Probably followed by lawsuits. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah.

Like 300 carats. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I just can't get these numbers to add up.

It's like we're never going to get out of this hole.

Credit card debt, does it ever end?

Maybe I can help. We sure could use it.

We've tried debt consolidation companies.

We've even taken out loans to help make payments. Well, you're not the only ones. Did you know millions of Americans live with debt they cannot control? That's why I developed this unique new program for managing your debt. It's called Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford. Oh.

Let me see that. If you don't have any money, you should not buy anything. Hmm, sounds interesting.

Sounds confusing.

I don't know, honey. This makes a lot of sense. There's a whole section here on how to buy expensive things using money you save.

Give me that. And where would you get this saved money? I tell you where and how in Chapter 3.

Okay, but what if I want something, but I don't have any money?

You don't buy it. Well, let's say I don't have enough money to buy something. Should I buy it anyway? No. Now I'm really confused. It's a little confusing at first.

Well, what if you have the money? Can you buy something?

Yes.

Now take the money away. Same story?

Nope. You shouldn't buy stuff when you don't have the money.

That would be even, you know what I mean?

That's true.

I'd do it too.

Diana, I have to tell you, I don't know what you mean. You're crazy.

You did.

Wow.

It'd be with regard to spending, specifically credit card spending per month.

So individually, I spend probably on average around $2,500, $3,000 a month on my credit card, and she's been closer to $5,000 plus per month.

For sure.

Not everything. For instance, we pay our credit card off each month, our house notes taken out of our checking account, and our house note is really our only reoccurring debt, fortunately. What's your take-home plan? And that's kind of a hard question. So I work on commission, and through a job change a few years ago, it's been hard for me to – my wife's asked me the same question.

It's hard for me to give an amount that stays the same. Yeah, but what's – $6,500 to $7,500 take home. And then a higher month could be closer to, you know, it could be $20,000 plus. It kind of just depends.

I don't really have a good answer as to why we have them. I have had a credit card since I guess I got out of college, and I've fortunately always been able to manage it, at least as far as I can tell. I haven't racked up a bunch of debt, so I've just kept the credit card, and when my wife and I got married, got her one too.

Right. Initially for me, it was credit building. I just kind of got used to budgeting, comfortable budgeting with what I knew I was going to spend on my credit card. And I guess I'll point out A while back, like years ago when I originally had this conversation with my wife, she was paying some bills automatically on her card, and then I was paying some bills automatically on my card.

Mm-hmm.

We've since changed everything to be auto-draft from my card, the majority of it. So a lot of – some of my charges are necessities like bill, credit, cell phone bill.

Okay, so my question is, I have a debt with Chrysler Capital. I leased a truck in 2016. I turned it in 2020. I was way over in the mileage. They would not sell me the truck, which I was counting on them doing because it had over 100,000 miles on it. So I turned the truck in. They told me I owed them $91,255. So I started the debt snowball in March of 2022. I had $125,000 in debt.

For sure. I mean, you hit the nail on the head. I would consider, the way I say it, is I think she's buying a lot of things. I hope that this call excites both of us and her to look at more long-term experiences and investments. Is she listening to this call?

And year to date, I paid off all my credit cards, and now I have $49,568. So I paid off about $60,000, $70,000. Okay. So I called Chrysler Capital, and I wanted to make a one-time payment. payment and, you know, pay it off, say, look, if this went to debt collection, you're going to get 10 cents on the dollar. That's, you know, if it's 49,000 debt collections, they're going to give you $5,000.

I said, right now, I will give you $7,208. And that, if I gave them that, I would have paid the full sticker price for the truck, plus $12,156, all my lease payments paid on time, plus $79,011, which would be over $65,000. I think that's really, really fair. So they came back and they said, well, we could do $20,000. I said, don't you get it? I want this over and done with.

The reason I want it over and done with is because in October, I have to get a full knee replacement, and I'll be out of work for three months. So... I'm trying to wrap this up. So she said, well, hold on. She said, well, we can do $15,000. I said, you're not listening. I don't have $15,000. Well, you could send us $7,208 and make payments. I said, I'm not doing that.

I said, I'll call you back in a week. I'll call them back in the next week. I said, so what are we doing? She goes, best I can do is $15,000 and you can make payments. I said, so send me something in writing. And they absolutely refused to send me anything in writing as a payoff that my debt's been reduced to $15,000. If I call them up and ask what my balance is, it's still $49,568.

No. Well, I'm dealing with Chrysler Capital, so they're in Texas. Okay. I live in Indiana. I'm a native New Yorker. I grew up in New York, and I moved to Indiana during COVID because my friend was working as a CNA. That's an essential job, and I didn't have any work. So I started here as a CNA employee. which is a temporary first time. How many, how many times have you gone?

She knows that I'm on. Yes. Oh, she does.

She says, I can't do it. I'm sorry. You have that. She's on this. And supposedly she's a financial manager. I only talked to her.

She she says, no, you have to pay it off first and then we'll then I'll get it approved. I said, so you have nothing. I said, you're you're saying me you need all the money. I said, don't you understand? I've been paying you six hundred dollars a week since April of twenty twenty four. Yeah, that's the problem.

Well, you know, she is a financial manager, so I don't know the next step up. I don't know who I have to ask.

Right. Yeah, I could do that.

Right, right.

Yeah, I'm going to have to stay on her.

Oh, well, just so you know, I grew up with all Italians, so that's as far as I'm going to go.

But here's my question. Should I keep paying them?

Well, no, it's not going to collections. We're going to handle everything in-house. So they do have a legal department. And at one point, I did get a lawyer to try to... you know, to get the debt reduced. And my not, my not so broke brother-in-law used to be a lawyer. So, um, but on what bounds would that be?

No, I, I, I was, my game plan was to buy the truck, finance the truck when the, um, When the lease was up. I was like, okay, the lease is up. I want to buy the truck. I'll give you a down payment and I'll make payments. That was my game plan. Oh no, it's got more than 100,000 miles. So the same people that leased me the truck won't sell it to me after I made all my payments on time?

In the lease contract, there's nothing in there that says if it's over the miles, they're not going to sell it to you. Nothing. I have a copy of the contract.

Well, I went way over in the mileage. I mean, if you read the contract. It is, you know, it's legit. You know, they really have, they really can enforce it if they want.

That's that is true. We were separate when we got married and I thought it worked fine. We've since made it joint after our first child. And I do want to mention that we, so I try to max out my 401k. I come close or, you know, a couple of years, a little short of it. She contributes the, you know, she's not maxing it out, but she takes advantage of her company match. Now,

But she's working a little bit less now that we have three children. So she's not going to be able to max out her.

Hey, guys. My wife has joint ownership of a property worth about $20 million. Whoa. And, yeah, I wasn't sure if maybe it's time to – Cash that out and start putting it to work for us as a family. And how would I if I should even have that conversation with her?

It's my wife, her two sisters and her mother.

Exactly. It was in a trust for a while. The youngest sister just turned 18. So now it's, it can be sold. So, I mean, I just see it sitting there and it's like, maybe we should just take it now. Well, you know, I mean, I'm not expecting it to go down to nothing, but you know, that's enough to change our lives if we just cashed out right now.

She thinks that this property is going to be such a headache. She honestly almost wants nothing to do with it. And I'm just thinking, you know, for how much it's worth, it's worth dealing with.

Is it just land? It's just land.

Right. There's some capital gains, but yeah. Sure.

I think they're all, my wife and all of their sisters are kind of just whatever about it.

Because they have a weird dynamic about money and their family. And they honestly, I just don't think they want to deal with the potential of making their mother angry.

Through this real estate, and that's pretty much it.

She owns a share of it also. She sees it as almost like her legacy and doesn't want to see it go away. And she's always been really bad with money. She's gone through bankruptcy before. She's considered doing it a second time recently. And part of the issue is that... They are concerned that she will find some way to put this as leverage or collateral for another loan or something. Okay, stop.

Her share would be $5 million.

No, they're worried that she might find some way because my wife and her siblings, they've never actually sat down and talked to the lawyers or read the will or anything. So they're worried that she might have some way to like weasel it into her name. And so that's why they're almost all just like, I don't know. How do you even know?

We've been told by the mother-in-law.

I would like to have at least $2,000 of that year marked towards savings, investing, charitable, other things, not just spending.

Yeah. And I have, and she, she's just said to me, you know, I, I don't expect to get anything from my mother when she passes. I don't expect to get anything from this. I don't, I just assumed that this is going to be a non-factor in my life. So I just want nothing to do with it.

Because the mother-in-law, she talked to my wife recently who then talked to me. She talked to my wife about potentially selling it and to pay off her debt. And of course my wife would get her share and she, I wasn't around when this conversation happened or I would have been telling my wife, yeah, you should probably do this or really consider it.

Hey, good afternoon. Thank you all for having me on. You bet. As I said, my name's Taylor. I'm married. I have three children. I have a five-year-old, three, and a one-year-old. My wife and I would like to get some help and some advice from y'all in regards to our budgeting.

So when my wife finally told me, I was like, well, why didn't you say, yeah, let's do this? And she was just like, oh, I don't know. Okay.

It was their grandmother. The father-in-law is not really in the picture.

Yeah, that's pretty accurate.

That's not an answer. We exchange pleasantries and we're friendly with each other. We talk.

Oh, wow.

Yes, sir.

I wouldn't so much say that we have a money problem, but I would say that we have a problem agreeing on what to do with our money. And I think Dave said it before. I think one of us could be considered more of a spender, whereas the other could be considered more of a saver.

What's your income?

Learn more at RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor.

Right. Trying to find a happy medium so that we can both be happy, enjoy life while also saving. And more importantly, I just possibly don't want to work forever. I'm happy to elaborate on that from here.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

If you run a business or you know somebody that does, you know the truth. The truth is it's hard. It's really hard. When you're self-employed, you typically have a jerk for a boss.

It's Holy Week in Jerusalem. Crowds welcome Jesus as king. Rebellion is in the air. Jesus operates outside our jurisdiction. Rome will descend on us all. But instead of taking the throne, Jesus turns the tables.

The world will never be the same. Coming soon to theaters. The Chosen Last Supper. Get your tickets now.

Yeah. The dictator, you know, the home.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You've probably heard people talk about different kinds of flags in friendships and romantic relationships. Red flags, green flags, beige flags.

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You can't breathe.

I didn't even think about it. And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance. That's a gut punch. For decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse. They've lost somebody important to them. Me too. And they don't know what to do next.

Yeah, that's a problem.

Okay.

Fairwinds is federally insured by NCUA.

OK.

Hit it.

Yes.

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And you know what?

Yeah. Yeah. That's just, that's heartbreaking. And for whatever it's worth, I'm proud of you for putting up a boundary with one of your kids.

And Lily, I want you to hear me so clearly. This is for you and everybody listening. Conflict deferred is conflict amplified.

Avoiding any sort of conflict, dispute, I don't want to pick my car up, yada, it will come back to haunt you. That $400 already turned into $3,000.

Y'all could have just gone to pick up the car, paid 50 bucks, and set it on fire in a parking lot, and it would have been cheaper than what y'all are doing now.

Same thing with the condo, same thing with his retirement, same thing with his insurance. Everything he's got facing him, conflict deferred is conflict amplified. So let's just head into these problems, one after the other after the other.

Thank you.

He's lucky to have you.

We don't ever talk, we don't talk about enough. The other side of boundaries is that when we can put up a boundary to keep ourselves safe and comfortable, kind of create the world we want to exist in, other people can just walk away. And we don't talk about that enough. Boundaries looks good on Instagram, but man, there's a reality to it that can be heartbreaking.

Hang on the phone. We're going to give you Financial Peace University. I'm going to hook you up. And I want you to watch all nine videos and begin to take control of your money. Sounds like your dad's going to need you by his side in that back half.

Yeah, the problem is people just rack up fees. Yeah, yeah. That idea that I'm just going to not deal with this. I'll deal with it later. Like the student loans, they don't go away. The car at the impound lot, the insurance premium you forgot to pay. Yesterday we talked to somebody, it lapsed two days and her husband died. Like this stuff just doesn't go away.

We just got to continue to head into it and head into it and head into it.

Okay, but hold on. I feel like you're giving me two messages. Message number one, I want my son to have some skin in the game like I did. Because it made me appreciate the... The scratch and clawing that is to be a new pilot and all those crummy shifts you're going to have to take. You took it more seriously in class because you're paying for it too.

But then I hear you saying over and over, man, this is just really expensive. So have you, which is it? Do you want him to like have some skin in the game or did you already have, like you want to get him off the payroll and have this $80,000 go to a new truck? No, no, no.

I think there's truth to that. I think that's fair.

I don't love the idea of you becoming the bank of dad. I do love the idea of a kid having skin in the game. I love the idea of maybe for the rest of this summer and for the summer after his junior year and the summer after his senior year before flight school that he works for the business of mom and dad's house. And he earns, y'all keep an hour log. Y'all figure that out.

I don't love him starting the world indebted to you financially. You came along in a season when jobs were available, when technology wasn't threatening everybody's everything. I hate the idea that he would be 25 or 20 grand in the hole to dad. And then there being a hiring freeze or an economic issue or something. And now y'all can't even be in the same room together.

Or every time he takes a girl on a date, you're You're like, where's my money? It changes the whole relationship.

Yeah. I mean, if you think that the kids, their kids are in danger now, I think just not only as a grandma, but as a citizen, you have a responsibility to make a phone call, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. I think it's cruel to give somebody who's struggling with heroin a big inheritance because it's going to kill it.

Where is this coming from on your wife's side?

Let me tell you, dude. I bought a car for $1,000 when I was in high school. And I put $100 down. And I thought my dad covered the other $900. He thought I paid it. And that $900, dude, drove a wedge between us. I mean, it had a ripple effect that was way beyond $900. Wow. Because I thought he and he thought I, and then it became this embarrassment.

And then, I mean, it just became a thing on thing on thing. The guy then who sold me the car was a great man who passed away. The whole thing got sideways. It was over $900. And this is way beyond that. And it worked out for you and your dad. And George and I would not have a job if every one of these things worked out. And so I can't in good conscience tell you to become a bank for your son.

and have him graduate saying, I owe you, or you owe me. This makes me just sick to my stomach, man.

Would he say that? Or is it easy compared to what you went through? Back in my day, I had to walk uphill naked in the snow.

Not going how I needed it to. I mean, both George and I have accounts for our kids to go to college. I want to support them. And also, I'm going to have an expectation that I'm going to preset with my kids that they work, they maintain a GPA, and purchase a new pair of trees. So all that stuff's good. Yeah.

Absolutely. And that way you can say you didn't totally lose. You can tell your wife, oh, I have a third option. And that way we can all say face together because I want to be on your side too, man. I'm going to tell her I called. Ask your son, who is a junior, right? He's a junior now? He's going to be a junior. He's a rising junior? Okay.

I want you to take him out to breakfast this Saturday, and I want you to say, hey, here's the reality of flight school. It's $80,000. My dad and I had an agreement that I borrowed $25,000 from him, and he covered the rest of it. I don't want to be your bank. I always want to be your dad. But you have to have some skin in the game.

And so your responsibility over the next two weeks is to write me a proposal for what skin in the game is going to mean for you. Okay. And put the onus on him. And that way when things get dicey three or four years from now, when he's exhausted and doesn't want to do X, Y, or Z or whatever y'all agreed on, you can say, hey, you wrote the terms to this and I agreed to them.

It's going to kill it.

And so how much money are we talking here?

And so you're shifting the skin of the game onto him. What's the investment in this thing worth for him? And let him come back to you on that. And it has a way of leveling the playing field when you're talking to an adult, a rising adult child. So give that a shot. I like that plan.

Today's question comes from Owen in Washington. Owen writes, My partner and I have been together for two years and have lived together for one. We frequently talk about getting married. I've brought up opening a joint house account to split expenses for housing and possibly utilizing it as a savings vehicle, but this idea was shot down quickly. All right, you're dating well, Owen.

We know how much the other earns, but that's about it. When is it time to share our financial situations, and when is it a flag if one partner doesn't want to share at all? If marriage is the path we're on, then this seems like a necessary first step. Yes, you should share financial situation before you decide to become roommates.

Yeah. Yeah, I would say it's a huge, humongous, gigantic... Calling all cars red flag if you're considering a long-term relationship with somebody, you're considering moving in with somebody, which I don't recommend for multiple reasons, or if you're choosing to marry somebody and they won't talk to you about their financial situation. Yeah, huge, giant red flag.

and getting trying to get cute about it and being like well let's create a super house fund that might be like part this part savings account part utility but no because then you're gonna be like you talk about like venmoing your spouse gosh like hey i got i got arby's last night for 11 so just venmo me well i got coffee so it's only 238 like just keeping score like that's exhausting oh my

Gosh, dude, that's not a marriage.

Back in August, I took out the trash. So you have to. Exactly. So it'll never end.

What about in retirement funds or anything?

Well, we joke on the show about playing house. And when people move in together, even though all the data suggests otherwise, there's this idea that we're going to move in together and we're going to kind of like practice.

Well, not even that. We're going to practice marriage and see if we're compatible. And what anyone who's been married more than five seconds will tell you is every marriage goes through seasons where we would not be together except we're married. And we have to figure this out. We're anchored to the same boat and we're going to figure this thing out.

And so this idea that we're practicing for something beyond just dating, it doesn't bear out in the data, right? You'd think that people who live together, their marriages are better. It's not, right? They end up not being. So when we say play house, Really seriously, that's what's happening. We're pretending we have a long term relationship or we're practicing for something.

But it doesn't work that way. And so what I would say is to back all the way out. And it sounds like I'm just reading between the lines here. And I'm speculating a lot. Obviously, one of you. is probably moving in because they like the benefits, the roommate with benefits, the intimacy benefits, the split cost benefits, and one of you was practicing for marriage.

And so I think this is one of those, let's swipe an arm across the table, clear the deck, and say, where are we? Or as the kids say... DT, DTR define the relationship.

That's awesome. One of my students, one time I was like, yeah, we're having a DTR tonight. And I was like, I don't know what that means. So it was good. Yeah. It was a long time ago. They probably moved on to new things now, but I think it's still a good term, but you have to decide what are we doing? What are we doing?

It doesn't work like that. No, and also don't be a weird, rangy person who's like, hi, my name is so-and-so. My net worth is this. How much debt do you get? Don't be that weirdo either. Do you want to see my budget? Exactly. Whoa. When do you see my?

Hold on one second, Kirsten. Kirsten, talk directly into your phone for me. I can't hear you.

Much better, much better. So you've got credit card debt.

I hate to say it, it's going to sound so callous. So I'm only saying this because I care about you. You've got to go get a job and earn that money. There's not a magic way here.

Awesome. If they say you're hired, say, can I start right now?

Oh, yikes. Yeah, but you got to do something. You got to do something.

I'm saying we need money today.

maybe dog walking that's the best that's all i can think of get on there today you'll get healthy in the process but but like put on facebook marketplace or next door app like right now right when you get off this phone and start making money tonight like it's it's it's this do you mean like selling stuff no start dog walking tonight how old are you okay i'm 25 okay how much debt do you have total

Well, can you do something like, and I'm asking George this on your behalf, he's the expert here, but could she open up 529s and fully fund them for all the grandkids? Absolutely. Which specifies that money is going to be used for education only. And if they choose to not go to school, they just go straight into the workforce and never need any sort of training, which is almost no job.

Stay on the line. We're going to send you Financial Peace University. I can just bang my head on the desk, but I think you need to watch these videos and not just the clips on YouTube. I want you to watch all nine videos and do exactly what it says.

But if they want to go to college, they want to go to trade school, they want to go to nursing school, that can be used for that. But if not, it just can roll into a Roth with the kids down the line. That would probably be something I would look to do.

Fairwinds is federally insured by NCUA.

Tell me about your autoimmune challenges.

Yeah, but it's exacerbated greatly by... Emotional distress, family stress, relationship distress, right?

Okay, so here's what I want you to commit to. Will you commit to something for me?

Don't give up on yourself. Okay? Because I can hear in your voice, you have a sense of shame about your situation. And that sets your body on fire from the inside out, right?

Okay. So before we get off this call, George is going to walk you through the money part of it. I'm going to hook you up with my friends at BetterHelp. I'm going to give you three months of therapy for free. And you can do it from your house. You don't have to go anywhere, okay?

I want you to talk to somebody. But you have to promise you're going to work, not fight. We're done fighting. Your body's exhausted. but we're gonna metabolize some of this stuff and we're gonna make peace in our body from the inside out and we're gonna talk to somebody and connect with a counselor and to connect with a therapist and we're not gonna give up, okay? Thank you.

This is a right now, it's not a death sentence, it's not forever, okay?

Your family would have plenty of time for your husband to work this job, which is admirable, possibly at a second job, which he's not going to see you, not see the kids. It doesn't matter. We're surviving right now while also getting up at 4.30 in the morning and applying for other jobs.

Why are you thinking about this right now?

Yeah. Ta-da! And by the way, can I make you feel better? I did the same exact thing. I was in my early twenties.

I kind of freaked out, called one of these companies. I called to check in like four months later and my debt was exactly the same. I just kept paying them money. And then I started getting letters. And then when I called the company, they were like, no, it's cool, bro. Just like, just like, don't worry about the letters. And I don't know. None of it smelled right.

And I just said, y'all can go buy a box of hair because I'm out.

I'll let George get into the nitty-gritty. The two big concerns I have, number one is it's a lot of thinking down the road for something that's just getting started. There's no assets yet. There's no money. And so if the company – I know Dave did that with his – like his three kids are owners of the company – And so I don't have the nuances.

George may know the nuances, but I know Dave is technically not an owner of this company. He's a shareholder, the single shareholder, and he's the CEO. He makes the decisions, but he's not the owner. But there was, what is it, 25 years or 20 years they did this before, built up a pretty substantial business before they made that move. And so, yeah, George, what do you think?

My guess is before they become owners of a company, they have to have, they've got to be in the business.

Okay.

Or even at the – well, no, they're already growing up. I had a whole other idea if they were really young, but they're not.

Yeah, what's the business?

That's a great idea. I would hire you to come do that in my house.

I love it. Next part. I'm in Tennessee. We don't have all those taxes here, so.

Or you can leave it to a trusted, like an executor of your estate or an executor of a trust who... could have a written explanation of what you want done with the money. If my kids come and they prove that they're clean with six months of drug tests or whatever, then they get their inheritance or automatically this executor would fund 529 plans.

Probably the number one pushback we get from folks who when we say cut up your credit card is they always talk about, yeah, but I get free flights or I get free hotel points. And so if you go to Holiday Inn all the time and Holiday Inn, I have a buddy who travels a lot for work and Holiday Inn is like a frequent flyer, frequent rewards member or you use Southwest, they give you points.

That's fine. That's inside the company that's saying, hey, we want to discount you further for business. That's fine. But when you're using these credit cards and you get points on flights and whatever, you show this in your book, but here's yet another article detailing this.

When you sit on a flight paid for with credit card points, a single mother who just had an emergency expense is paying for that flight. The credit card company is not your friend. They're not hooking you up for using that. They're not like, hey, you've used us a bunch. We're going to give you a free airline ticket.

They're taking from somebody who can't afford to pay their bill or who is struggling, and that person is paying your bill. And so I just want people to think through, man, if you're using cards just for the, I get free flights every year. Cool. But somebody's paying for that flight.

And that ultimately, um, I'm not trying to be goody two shoes when I, before I worked at Ramsey, I had a move with a comp with my company and the company is going to pay for the move, but I had to front load it. I went and opened up a rewards card so I could get the flight points. And it wasn't until I was literally on the drive and I was like, wait a minute. who's paying for this flight?

These guys aren't my friends. And when I dug into it, it was like, oh my gosh, it's delinquent borrowers. Folks who are broke and who are struggling, they're paying for my flight or my hotel. And I want out of that system completely. I don't ever want to be a part of a predatory system like that if I can in any way help it. So I just want to opt out of the whole gross game, man.

You can decide if you think things are going to happen on the road, but there's also a chance you live another 25 or 30 years.

And just so we know, between 2020 and right now in 2024, $100 billion more credit card company firms, credit card firms made from interest payments. It went from $76 billion to $170 billion in 2024.

And by the way, I love that this person called this out. Once you have one issue, your brakes go out on your car, suddenly you need to, you know, you're driving an old, old used car. because that's what you can afford and somebody gave it to you, but now your local community has another $100 because it's a hybrid fee and they don't have the gas revenues in your community.

And suddenly you put something on the credit card. You just are like, dude, I have to. The washer breaks. Your kid needs a pair of shoes for made the cross country team and you swipe it. At 20-something percent interest, it's so hard to get out of that cycle. Once you swipe it once, man, it's so tough to get out of it. It's not worth it.

You're going to need it. You're not going to use it. You're going to have to have it, right?

Man, if you can avoid playing this game at all, get out of the game. Just opt out of the whole system.

hated there is let's be honest there's idiots who are like what are buying burritos with clarna or whatever yeah that person exists right but that's outside the the bell curve the majority of americans are trying to make stuff got way more expensive the last five or six years and it got way way more expensive recently people are just trying to survive and they're swiping this thing and it's once you get in that cycle man it is tough tough to get out of it's like a rip current mm-hmm

You have a whole third left to go. You're like halfway through the third quarter. You can't quit the game now.

Heaven sounds better. I know, but listen, can I tell you something?

There are mothers right now, and I know this because one out of four, 25% of the calls that come into my show are about estranged families. It's horrible. Somebody's cut off their parents, the parents have cut off their kids or whatever.

Yeah, those are two things you and I talk about a lot, and we're just hanging out as bros. That's what we do.

It's by far my favorite event, yeah.

That's right. And the proof is in the pudding. We usually sell about half the tickets for the following year right there at that event. But people will say, I want this to become a part of the regular rhythm of our life. We want to get away for a weekend and go reimagine it. We're already working on the curriculum this year. It's going to be all brand new stuff, and I'm pretty hyped about it.

It's going to be awesome.

We intentionally, yeah, everybody's hurting out there financially. And it's $749 plus getting to Nashville plus staying here for a few, that's expensive. We know that. It's not for everyone. But we intentionally make it cheaper than every other event because we want people to be able to come.

What an amazing resource you would be to a 45 or 50-year-old mom whose kids won't talk to her anymore. Or to a group of young parents, young dads, young moms whose parents are too busy YOLOing it up in their 70s and 60s and won't talk to them anymore. You can start a small group in your local community and provide 20 years of just life-giving wisdom and kindness. So don't cash out on me now.

I could sell like a Barbie Jeep for $1,500. Yeah, and it's not a great bike.

Please don't do this. Whatever you're about to say, don't do it. Are you going to try to take out a credit card and roll the balance and try to beat the 0% for X number of months?

There's one way to do this. One. You ready? This is a hack. This is the Instagram YouTube hack. Are you ready? get three jobs and work like crazy for six months and pay this stupid thing off, it's killing you. And by the way, 100% chance this blows up and ruins your relationship with your mom and your brother. That's the only way. That's the hack.

Okay, you get to pick your poison. Credit cards don't offer you introductory 0% hookups because they're your friend. They know that if they can get a college student like you, there's a 100% chance that something will go wrong with this car and you don't have any cash.

And so you'll buy a tire... And then you'll pay the minimum because something else is going to come up. And then mom's going to call and say, hey, I don't feel good. Can you come visit me? And you're going to put like, okay. And you're going to put something else on that credit. It's just how it happens. You know how I know? Because it happened to me. It happens to millions and millions of people.

Do you know how much more credit card interest credit card companies make in 2024 than they did in 2020? No. A hundred billion more dollars.

And I sold it to my little brother for 300 bucks and he drove it to college until him and his friends all pitched in and they drove it out into a field until it exploded.

You're halfway through the third quarter. You got to play all the way to the end of the bell.

I got you. Totally got you. I'm not beating you up for what happened. You made a choice and it is what it is, what it is. What I'm trying to tell you is there's only one path out now. And you can try.

I'm just telling you, millions of Americans are drowning because they just tried to move stuff around instead of clenching their fists and hitting right into the middle of it, swinging as hard as they could. And I'm only telling you this because I love you. There's just one way. There's just one way through. And dude, I have a nine-year-old daughter. You're just my daughter just 10 years from now.

And I would tell you the same exact thing. You just have a stupid tax of $5,000. You're upside down in a car that you don't even drive. And that your brother is leeching off of you. I love him, but he's leeching off of you. And your mom's like, woohoo, I'll just kick in on the insurance, like whatever. And nobody's, everyone is losing here.

And there's only one way through it. And that's just to suck it up and go get $6,000 and pay this stupid thing off.

And you can punt it till after you graduate. I'm just telling you there's going to be a thing that happens between now and then. And you've already cracked the door to getting a credit card to solve your immediate problem.

You just said that as though you just figured that out. That was incredible. We've been together for more than half my life, and I just had this discovery. How long has he been irresponsible?

Okay. Go ahead, George.

Yeah. Does this sound like a romantic relationship?

um we opened up the relationship like eight years ago to try to fix that yeah that that usually works whenever couples aren't working out together just like hooking up with a neighbor always works that's good that works great okay so so here's the deal here's a question like he's not on the phone to defend himself his mother and his parents are having challenges you're the only person on the call yeah how old are you again

43. 43. Let's just pretend you have 50 years left to go. You're not even halfway done yet. You cannot do one single thing about anything that's come before this phone call.

You're holding a pen and a blank piece of paper. You get to decide what story you write next. End of discussion. Doesn't matter about him. He has shown you his cards. I won't marry you. I won't participate in life with you. I won't do any sort of like I won't live in any sort of reality at all. And there's probably a million reasons why partridge in a pear tree.

We're not going to go through all that. The only thing that matters is you're holding a pen and a blank piece of paper. What do you write next? I mean, here's the deal. It's going to be hard to break up. It's going to be hard to, you're going to have the sunk cost fallacy. Like I've already given 20 years and I might as well just have another 50 miserable years.

So when I die, I've got 70 miserable. You can do that. And you can also stay in this thing. That's going to be hard. The only options you have is a hard choice. Choose your heart.

Hold on, hold on. I don't care about a year ago. I care about right now. A year ago is past.

He's a grown man who's made choices for 20 years. For 50 years. Yeah. Not 50. For about 40 years, he's made choices. Yeah.

None of those talks matter.

They don't matter. You've had those for years and years and years and years. You had one when you decided to sleep with other people because you thought that would fix it. You had those when you were like, when are you going to marry me? And he's like, oh, you know. You've had those and had those and had those and had those. They don't matter. It doesn't work. Of course he was shocked, by the way.

He's got a great setup.

He's got a sugar mama that's going to take care of him. He doesn't have to worry about anything. And by the way, his family doesn't even have to worry about anything. You'll just fix it. You always have.

Do you have any girlfriends in your community that you can just go sit down and just unload on? Just say, hey, I need you just to buckle up because I got a story for you. I don't know what to do.

Okay, you need to do that. I'm not going to be on the hook for telling you you need to leave this guy. That's your choice. You're a grown woman. Yeah. I'm going to tell you the situation is profoundly unhealthy for everybody involved.

You all have been roommates for years, and roommates move out.

And roommates choose to stay. You get to choose, but I just want you to take 100% ownership, not of all the things we should have said and didn't do. What am I going to do next? And whatever you decide to write is going to be hard.

But I want you to sit down with a friend, maybe a local counselor, and... Just get all of this stuff out because I want you to go towards something. I want you to go to somebody who cares about you, a new job, new relationship, a new safe place to live. I want you to go towards something. Don't just run into the night screaming because you're going to end up right back in the same situation.

Hey, what's up? Dr. John Deloney here. The new dates have dropped for the money and marriage getaway over Valentine's Day weekend in 2026. This is your chance to hit pause on everything in your life and reconnect with your spouse over a long weekend in Nashville, Tennessee. Me and my friend Rachel Cruz will be digging into topics like sex, money, communication, and more.

This weekend is happening on February 12th through the 14th, and early bird prices start at $749 per couple, but the prices will be going up soon. Get your tickets today at ramseysolutions.com slash events.

Oh, that's so scary.

Yes.

I'm going to ask you. Please, please, please. Hey, Rosa, listen. You got a ton going on, okay? Let's knock these out one thing at a time, okay? Because real quick, what anxiety does is it begins to go and then, and then, and then, and it spools on us, right?

And you haven't slept in the last week, have you? I know. Please, please, please do not put your house on the auction block for a short-term problem, okay? I want to not promise you, but almost guarantee you something. Your husband has not told you the full truth about why he got fired.

Hold on. Hold on. You're jumping right back into solutions. I'll back out. Cool. He got fired from that. There's one solution right now. He's got to get two jobs today at Walmart and at Home Depot. And then he's got to drive tomorrow morning and he can apply for jobs later. Y'all don't have any money. This isn't the time for hacks. This isn't the time for debt consolidation.

This isn't the time for putting your house on the block. Because one thing you've proven to yourself over the last 20 years is something always comes up and the worst case scenario usually happens.

No, don't do consolidation. You're just moving dead around. It's like putting Spanx on. If I put on a bunch of Spanx, it doesn't make me weigh less. Right. It just makes a particular pair of pants fit better.

Have you sat down and said, I need you to swallow your pride on this one? I don't even say that because he'll fight you on that. I don't have any pride. Can you say, hey, for three months, I know you're grinding, but we got to go make some money.

He's just trying to stick it to his old boss. And the moment he gets a job, they cut it off. How much are these cars worth?

Yeah, we can't help you. I mean, if every option you're putting up against, he won't, he won't, he won't, then at some point you have to decide, do I want to be safe or not? And if he is really as unhelpful and won't speak to you and whatever as you say he is, you're in a situation that is unsafe.

Get with some girlfriends in your local community that are friends of yours and sit down and walk through the challenges here. You may need to see a local counselor. You got big challenges ahead of you, but please don't take out a HELOC on your house.

Hi, guys. Thank you for taking my call. It's actually a privilege and an honor to talk to you guys.

Oh, you as well. What's up, brother?

Well, I got introduced to the Ramfee program about 10, 11 years ago, and right away I got term life insurance because my bride and I, we have five kids. I didn't realize that it was going to be up in 10 years because I thought I got it for 20. It's coming up to end here soon, and I'm trying to do my due diligence and try to get new term in life, but I've been denied twice by two different places.

I do have a supplemental term with my work, and I have a little one that I got through the NRA. But it's nowhere near the 10 times amount of money I bring in. And let me tell you, I still got four kids at home. And God knows, I don't want to leave the burden of having to take care of me. Why'd you get denied, bro?

Well, the last one, I finally got clarity. The biggest one is my BMI. I'm six foot four, 330 pounds, and I'm down almost 40 pounds. Congratulations. Good for you. Thank you. So that's the big one, you know, a little bit of high blood pressure. I'm right on the cuff of diabetes. My doctor put me on a diet, which is helping me lose the weight. Okay. I don't know what else to do.

It literally scares me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If something were to happen, you know. Well, can I just tell you, you're talking to just three dads right here. Me and you and George are all three dads. And all of us have had that night where we're laying in bed like, dude, if something happens to me, right? And so I hear it in your voice. Yeah.

If what you're telling me is right, that you're pre-diabetic or right on the line with metabolic challenges and you're already a big guy and you're obese and you're struggling with X, Y, and Z, can this be the moment that you say, I'm going to commit to being at my youngest kid's wedding? Because all of what you just explained to me, I'm going to say this because I love you, is a solvable problem.

OK, it is working with a with you continue to work with your doctor. You know what? I'm going to hook you up. Train well supports my show. It's a workout and a personal trainer in an app. It's amazing. I use it. My manager use it. My wife uses it. Kelly, the producer of my show, uses it. I'm going to hook you up with three months for free. But you got to promise me you'll use it.

Oh, I will.

Okay. I will. And if you've never worked out before, or if you're like me, been working out for 30 years, it doesn't matter. They'll, they'll up the game with you. And it's a personal trainer that walks with you. Okay. But listen to me. Okay. This is a solvable challenge is we've had calls on the show where someone's got brain cancer. Somebody's got a heart defect or a heart transplant or whatever.

That's not what I hear from you.

That's right. My bride and I, we're still working baby step two. We have, because of my bride, you know, she's the neck of the family. We have about one month's worth of emergency fund, and we're working the baby steps slowly but surely.

We initially came close to being debt-free back in the very beginning of 2020. COVID hit us hard, and we fell back into debt.

What does that mean, it hit you hard?

Work-wise, I went from working 50-plus hours a week to less than half, and We focused on the four walls and utilities and food.

I want to say about $40,000 or $50,000 total. What do you make right now? Last year, I averaged about $38,000. My bride, $71,000. What do you do making $38,000 a year? I'm a soils tech. I essentially go out and test compaction levels of construction sites before they build new roads or new buildings. My regular wage is $20 an hour.

Every once in a while, I get the prevailing wage, which is four or five times that.

Here's what I'm hearing. Can I tell you what I'm hearing? And we don't have a ton of time, and so I want to get right to the middle of it. You don't look in the mirror and respect you. And I don't want you taking another step that you don't respect the dad you are, the husband you are, the man you are. Fair? That's fair. You're a dad who loves his kids, don't you? Absolutely.

Okay, you're worth more than $38,000 a year, brother. And I know you feel good in your job and it feels secure in X, Y, and Z. You can make that work in a Starbucks. And so I want you to hit the street and find a job. I don't care what the job is, but I want you to find a job that's making more than $38,000 a year. I'm not knocking people that that's all they can do.

I had this happen to me once. I sold my car to my little brother. And my brother, I mean him and his buddy, it was not a great car. And they just destroyed it. It was pretty hilarious. But they left it like in a field somewhere in nowhere, Texas. And then I got a call like five years later saying I owed $2,000 in taxes.

But if you know how to test soil compact levels and work with contractors and deal with all that nightmare stuff and plus run your own small thing, then you can do a bunch of jobs that will pay you double or triple or quadruple what you're making right now.

Okay.

But it's going to make you bust out of your comfort zone. Same as going to the gym. Same as getting on a diet plan and not skipping and changing diets every four weeks and trying this. I'm going to try fasting. I'm going to try keto. I'm going to try vegetarian. I'm just going to be consistent for the first time in my life. And I'm also going to hook you up with three months free of BetterHelp.

I want you to get in front of a counselor. You can do it from your home computer. You don't have to go anywhere and lose an hour of work right now. And I want you to begin to talk about those demons that are inside your chest. Because everyone in your life loves you. The guy who's struggling with loving you is you right now. Fair? They're not wrong.

Absolutely.

I'm in.

Absolutely. I want you to be 6'4 and down 100 pounds this time next year. Are you in?

I can sure as hell put in the effort.

Okay. And not because it's a number. I don't care about the number on a scale. I care because you're worth feeling good when you wake up in the morning. And you're worth not snoring all night. And you're worth laughing and rolling around on the floor with your kids. And I want that last kid of yours to have you walk him down the aisle.

Or if it's your son is the last one, I want you hugging his guts out backstage before he walks down the aisle. This is how family trees change. When one person stares it down, looks in the mirror and says, enough is enough is enough. And the change starts with me. Day one starts today. Hang on the line, brother. We're going to hook you up with some stuff. All right. And we'll walk with you.

You call us anytime. We love you, man. Go get them.

storage fees or i could surrender the car and i on the phone i just said merry christmas y'all got yourselves a car and i hung up the phone like the car was i didn't buy bought it for half that back in the day can they just surrender the car what was that again i'm sorry can can often this this impoundment fees like it basically is a storage fee

Can I distill down what you said? And I want to make sure I heard you right.

The options are get the family back together, get some peace in your life, clear all of your debts, and have a little bit higher monthly payment on your rent. Or keep the family divided up, keep your husband flying back and forth, because you all have convinced yourself there's only one option. It's in Vegas. There's no other jobs in San Diego. We're going back and forth for a low mortgage payment.

In my head, this is as close to a no-brainer as I've ever heard. It sounds like if I read between all of the lines, you had a picture of what your life was going to look like in this perfect house, in this perfect neighborhood, with your perfect little girls and your perfect husband and your perfect new business, and you haven't fully let that thing go yet.

I'm saying this, I'm not smiling. So I'm being serious, but it's gonna sound silly. I think you and your husband need to, either write a letter together to the life y'all thought you were going to live and read it to each other and have some sort of ceremony or funeral for what was, or draw a picture and put it in a fireplace. You have to sever ties with this dream, this picture you had.

You've already had a picture of your three daughters married at Thanksgiving at a table in that house you're in right now, right?

they'll exchange the fee for that car, the old beat-up car that he left there.

I don't think that's what it is. I don't think that's what it is. Tell me I'm wrong. I don't think you want to move back to Vegas.

Okay. Then you need to put that on the table. And your husband has some big fantasy dream about rebuilding what he had in Vegas, and he's still trying to fight. He's the boxer that got knocked out for the last time during COVID, and he can't let it go. So he's the 48-year-old boxer who keeps taking pro fights.

None of this matters. You don't want to live in Las Vegas again. I don't know what it was about your life back then that you didn't like. Maybe you didn't like how he was in Vegas. You didn't like the heat. You didn't like the dirt. You didn't like the community. Whatever it was, it's all okay. But you have to have the courage in your marriage to say, I don't want to live in Las Vegas.

Every time a couple backs themselves into an either or situation, here's your homework assignment. Because here's what happens. You have falsely trapped yourselves. And you're either about to sell a house in a community that you love because your husband won't look for a job in San Diego. Or you're about to move to a place that is going to make you miserable.

And you're going to become somebody you don't want to be.

Right, but where's that car now?

What's the business?

What does this business make per month?

Yeah. Is his salary and his partner's salary rolled into that expense?

So if they took all combined, what is that? $600,000, they could have the business paid off in about three years.

Okay, if they sold it, then there needs to be a – they need to take – apply that sale price to the impound fees that they charged him. Yeah, they made some money, so that would reduce what he would owe. They can't just sell a car. Like you would – your dad would still have the title, wouldn't he?

But they won't.

UFC runs gyms in Vegas. Everyone runs gyms in Vegas.

And I'm not saying it's bad. I mean, start your business, do your thing. I agree with, I mean, I'm all for starting businesses. I love it. I love it. I love it. But now you're on the hook for $1.9 million. Yeah. You buried the lead there.

Or maybe you say, Hey, I'll move to Vegas for two years while we try to pay this. Every penny is going to pay this, this note off. We're going to sell these gyms and then we're going to decide where we actually want to live. But, yeah, I mean, George, as far as I'm hearing, man, keeping my family together is as high a priority as I can place.

And it's, you know, God help me, it's more important than I got a good mortgage rate.

Wow. So how many other kids do you have?

Okay, but step one of our plan is taking 100% ownership of the mess and not avoiding anything.

Mm-hmm.

So that might be that you call the impound place and we call this a stupid tax around here. We do say that with a smile on our face. We're not calling anybody stupid, but you call them and say, I got a thousand dollars. That's all I'm paying for this thing. My dad's on fixed income. He has nothing. They will do somersaults and backflips that they got anything from you.

And tell him you already sold my dad's car. We still have the title of it. You took the car, you sold it. So for the price that you got for it, and here's a thousand bucks, this is over. Send me this in writing and I will give you a cashier's check. Period.

And you might have to help him out there, but just get it done. And then the condo stuff, don't put your head in the sand on that because those fees are going to pile up on you too and get crazy. You're going to be in the same boat, except he's going to lose his house.

I'm sorry. I know that's heartbreaking.

You're going to want to get a day breakdown, a 24-hour breakdown on how they arrived at this $3,000 number. They can't just make it up. And if they're charging you $70 a day or something stupid like that, then you dispute that.

Yeah. It keeps you cool. I wasn't sold on it. I was like, this is kind of cheesy. But it was when it was so hot over Fourth of July weekend and we were doing the whole firework thing. And man, love it. Wow. Fantastic.

Oh my gosh.

I love it.

Yeah.

I've done that.

Would you then lie and be like, oh my gosh, I'm getting, yeah. Oh, you'd be a good, yes, George. This is a good relationship where that could happen. I feel like you would be like, oh, that's so nice. You didn't have to. I didn't get you anything.

That's fun.

And they'll, like, literally wear it out.

We used it all while I didn't have a job.

Yes, sir.

It does.

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What's going on? Thanks for taking my call. Might be a loaded question, but pretty much, is it appropriate for me to to ask an employee about their personal finances, try and dig into it to understand what to pay them in the situation that I did buy this person's book of business in exchange for them having a job. um, steady income.

Yes, I've been looking for work, and then I've been looking at maybe starting something, but I don't know if I'm too old.

So I have a general idea, and it's a lot less than what they're getting paid right now. But I also know that they have a lot of personal debt from their business line that we purchased. I know the person has a friend. Now we're just work colleagues. There's not really too much friendship. But the answer is I do know, but it's kind of a struggle to keep a good workplace and make sure that they –

are in a sense taken care of also, because I'm weaning them off right now. I'm weaning them off being used to be able to live frivolously.

No, so I actually acquired it for free. So it's actually, we had a document drafted that pretty much gave us the book of business in exchange for their employment guaranteed for six months. What do they get out of this? So they get a job, essentially. They get a job. He's getting paid off the bottom line. He runs one of our branches. We have two branches.

It was a big plus for us in terms of going from probably $300,000 to $400,000 for this year to probably a million plus in revenue. So... There's a big benefit on our end. And unfortunately, he ran his business into the ground culturally, financially. So that's where we came in compliance wise. They didn't get the insurances they needed because of.

Start starting a small – like starting my own small business and doing this for other – instead of just doing it for one agency, doing it for – I like that.

$75,000 to $80,000, based hourly with some bonus based off performance. Great. What were they paying themselves before you bought their business? It's hard to determine. I went into their numbers. They were pretty much paying themselves out of the business, him and his fiancée, anywhere from $15,000 to $20,000 a month or more on big months.

He was overpaying himself. Right. overpaying themselves taking on debt they didn't needed uh they didn't need um yeah spending out of the business haven't paid taxes in three years so he owes back taxes for those for that business for all through the last three years wow like he's mentioned like some like 20 something thousand but you're telling me 80k is market rate to run a branch in your field

Yes, I'd say yeah. That'd be the higher side, you know, with his experience and his repertoire and being able to handle sales and logistics.

He doesn't have to. He's a valuable asset to the team, but it's just trying to figure out the balance between being a good guy and making sure he's taken care of. That's why I feel like I need to see something. I know him, like I said, as a friend from prior to business. Long story short, I started helping him. Helped him build his business. We had disagreements.

I was like, hey, I need ownership in this thing. It was kind of like a young start. I'm relatively young. And we went down the road of no. So I left, started my own business in the same field. Now acquired his business line. Sure.

Correct, yeah. Then what's that number?

Max number that's not charitable, 85 to 90, like not much higher than that. That would be like the best of the best.

Okay. Yeah, the other reason I guess I was justifying it was partially the debt, but then also partially like, well, look, we wouldn't have this business line. But I was telling him, dude, there has to be a balance. You can't just say, oh, well, you wouldn't have this business line if it wasn't for what I created. But it's like, well, you wouldn't have a business at all if we didn't step in.

And now his employees are getting way better ratings, better performance. Everything's improved. Everything has improved from A to Z.

I'd rather do that, yeah. Exactly. In all honesty, business numbers, I'd rather hire someone else, train them. There you go.

All right, Dave, you have some strong opinions.

Possibly, yeah.

I think so. Okay, because you really prefer credit unions over big banks.

Well, credit unions, for one thing, are non-profit, which means that the members, the customers, own the credit union. So any profits that the credit union makes goes back into customer accounts. pricing. So you get better interest rate on savings, cheaper checking, and so on, that kind of thing.

But what's more important than that, though, is the fact that the customer is the owner changes the spirit on the credit union. So I find very few credit unions that aren't very customer-centric.

Well, and I think we have found one that is incredible, and that's Fairwinds. They are an incredible credit union that is really out with the heart to help the customer.

They're the right kind of people with the right kind of values. And they've done a really, really good job with customer service. And the deals that they're offering, the Ramsey tribe is incredible.

Yeah, absolutely. And I love it. The things that we teach, they so line up with. And you're right, their customer service is unbelievable. Winston and I just signed up and we got an account. And I'm not kidding. It took less than five minutes. It was so user-friendly. Like the step-by-step approach was unbelievable. And then the next day my phone rings and it says Fairwinds on my phone.

So I answered it. And talked to someone there and they said, yeah, they give calls to every new customer. And so again, they just really care about your experience. And I so, so appreciate that. Plus anything that you can do at a traditional branch, you can do with them at fairwinds.org or on their app. And you'll have free access to over 33,000 ATMs.

Three months ago. So I worked for this company for 10 years now, but two years, a year and a half ago, it was sold. The person that has it now stopped talking to me about three months ago. Does it unshunned? I can feel it in the air. Meetings I used to be included in. to do the thing I'm doing, but you never get the feeling that I'm not valued. Yeah.

Hey, you guys know how much I hate banks in general. And so for me to do this is a big deal. Talk to our friends at Fairwinds and check out the combined checking and savings bundle that they created just for the Ramsey tribe. You guys, it's incredible.

Yeah, you guys, it's so easy to join Fairwinds no matter where you live. So go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey.

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Hi, how are you?

I'm good. So my question is, I paid off my... Only debt I had, which was my car payment, and I have about $600 extra, and I've been putting my money paycheck to paycheck into different TFSA accounts. I have three TFSA accounts, and I got two RSP accounts.

running right now but i want to put my money into something that will give me more money back when i retire or like when i go buy a house and i don't know where to start to put my money into that do you have any savings i have like 12 000 that's it okay is that considered your emergency fund is that enough for three to six months of expenses So the three, six months, I have about $5,000.

Yeah, it's just in my RRSP. Those ones.

Yeah. I can't take money out of my RSPO so I get taxed.

Well, right now, I think about 5%.

I would like to get a house down payment in within like 10 years by the time I hit 40.

Oh, thank you. But also, do I continue even putting money into my RRSP account? Because I heard someone say, you shouldn't. You should just keep your money into a TFSA account. It would give you more...

Like interest rate onto it.

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Hey, how's it going, guys? Hey. Quick question for you here. So I'm planning on moving in with my longtime girlfriend by the end of the year probably. Buy her dinner first. Yeah, I've bought her plenty. So she's actually been in school for the past couple of years and will come out earning – she's in graduate school. She's going to come out earning a pretty good chunk, maybe close to $130 to $150.

And I'm just looking for some help on how to budget that because she's going to be the higher income earner, but she'll also have a lot more student loans. So just looking to see how you guys would recommend we balance that household budget. Well, that sounds like you guys are combining finances. That is the plan, yep, or at least in some way contribute to the household, the goals together.

Probably, yep.

I have none. And I have a pretty good savings investment accounts built up. We're both really young. So I'm in a very good place. She just has the student loans as well.

No, we're going to rent an apartment together.

Yes. I'm not planning on paying off her loans, but I'm wondering how much she would expect. I guess that would be a conversation for her, but how much she should contribute to the household versus living off of one income, having her use her income to pay off the debt primarily.

She is wanting to get rid of it ASAP.

So probably at most, probably getting up to around $200,000. Yeah. How long have you guys been dating? We've been dating about three years. And you've never lived together? Well, she's been in school for the majority of that time, and we've actually been doing long distance for about two years of it.

But any time she comes home, we are those staying together, so we sort of have a history of living together for a few months at a time, and it goes really well. Of course, we have those long-term plans together. How old are you, Jake?

Okay.

Yeah, that's on the agenda for both of us.

Give me a date. Five years down the road engagement, probably. Why five years? Hold on, another five years? Yeah. Probably something like that. Why? Maybe at least three at a minimum. What's up with the minimum? I'm calling in for financial advice, guys.

True. Good point. Yeah, I mean, we're just sort of feeling it out. We're not in any rush right now. I want to enjoy time together while we're young, and we know the vision we have, so we're not in a rush to get married. We just want to enjoy our time together.

That's sort of what I'm getting at is because we are both on the same page financially. I'm a very financially conscious person. She knows my attention and dedication to just building a future for myself and ourselves there. So she wants this paid off. She wants to contribute towards the household. So I guess a big question of what I'm asking is,

With this future we're both envisioning for ourselves together, marriage aside, we'll table that for the time being. But how much do you think? Is it, at this point, 50-50 split? Or would those plans to marry down the road, should it be maybe I do first?

Let's go to Zachary in Los Angeles, California.

So I don't have an IRA or any actual plan, so let me just start by saying that, and that keeps me up at night. I just didn't do what I needed to do. I have $60,000 in savings. I have $2,000 in credit card debt. I own one home outright. Whenever I look at that on one of the sites, it goes anywhere from $700,000 to $800,000. And then I have a second home with a current mortgage on that.

Hey, thank you guys so much for taking my call. The issue that I'm having, it's actually more of a moral dilemma, and I'm looking for some guidance from you guys.

I appreciate it. So about a year and a half ago, I got quote unquote recruited into the insurance industry. As I'm sure you can guess, it's the whole life insurance industry. And I graduated from college in 2023 and just graduated from grad school about a couple weeks ago. I'm a full-time college basketball player, as well as working part-time. I got married in August, and so...

My moral dilemma is a little bit unique because this industry has done a lot for me financially, but the more that I've listened to you guys and the more that I've just grown to learn the financial industry as a whole, the more I am struggling to sell a product that I don't necessarily believe in. Did you ever believe in it? What caused the turn?

I got a cold DM on Instagram about a guy that played sports in college and does sales and stuff. I was like, oh, that should work for my situation, and my managers allowed me to do it part-time, and I really got to kill it when I was working full-time, and I didn't have a great understanding of the product at all.

I just knew it was sales, and it became delucrative, and so it was one of those things that was difficult to step away from, and especially getting married, I'm not sure.

I just listen. I mean, listening to you guys, if I'm being completely honest, like I understand, like if you, I was pretty naive. Like when I started, I just knew it was sales. I knew it was insurance. You're getting pulled by all these people that it's helping people. Um, you know, it's, it's, it's a product, it's cash value, it's building, it's an investment.

So you're learning from people that don't know. And then you learn a different side and you do research. And so that's where it was really kind of more difficult for me to, you know, And the kicker is I'm actually leaving in three months to go to Europe with my wife to go play professional basketball. Nice.

Thank you.

And that's that's really like the quote unquote dilemma is like, is it something that I should? Because the earnings potential through the summer is so high and it's just so, like, conflicted with, like, do I provide for my wife and I versus what do we do?

It's, it's becoming more difficult too. And I, like I said, I want to just preface it by saying I'm, I'm super blessed with an incredible wife and incredible faith and incredible family. So it's like, I, I am so blessed in my life and I never take that for granted financially, uh, relationally. And so, um,

I just like the work that I've been doing, especially the last month since I've been done with school and basketball and trying to get back into it full time has been much more difficult this year than it was last year. Right. And why is it difficult? Because of that little voice in your head.

I owe $279,000 on that house. Is it being rented? Yes, my son currently lives in it, and he rents it. He's good about that. I want to try to keep it.

Yeah.

Yeah, most likely the middle to end of August. And that's also kind of the other part of the question is, like, what does it... I don't know if there's advice or what does it look like because it doesn't really feel like to me it makes a lot of sense to make a change, a career change.

I mean, need is... I don't need, I guess, quote-unquote, need any money in terms of, like, we have... We're pretty... We've set up pretty well. I mean, we have about... The thing for me is just... Yeah. We don't need anything.

Not a lot in the first year. It's usually...

Yeah, I played at Point Loma, Nazarene, and San Diego, as well as Seattle Pacific and Seattle.

So the total expenses to manage that home is about $4,000. The mortgage, utilities, all of those kind of things to live in there, and he pays that. I don't make anything, but I don't pay anything.

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Listen, guys, I've heard just about every excuse for why folks think they can't get ahead with money. So let's go ahead and settle this right now. You get the final say on what happens with your money. That's why you have to start telling your money where to go so you can stop wondering where it went. So if you're going to start winning with money, you have to get on a budget.

The easiest way to get started and stick to it is with the EveryDollar Budget app. It'll help you make a plan for every single dollar coming in and every single dollar going out every single month. And guess what? It's free, so no excuses. Download EveryDollar in the App Store or Google Play today.

Hi. My question is if you guys would think that it would be feasible for me to be a stay-at-home mom. Um, so I've kind of ran the numbers and I've made a budget for my husband. Um, and it's kind of looked everything over and it's taken him a while to finally like agree to it and be comfortable with it.

Um, but my thought was if I could get the Ramsey network to quote unquote approve it, then maybe we could make it happen.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yep. It's tight, but it's very, very doable. So the reason why I'm still employed is so that I can get my pension. So I'm almost five years vested with the state. And then after that, that's whenever we're looking for me to be able to stay home. So we have a two-year-old and an eight-month-old, both 20 months apart. And so line by line, he makes about $1,200 a week.

And so it would be tight, but we could do it.

Probably $200 to $300. Okay.

So everything's paid off besides the house. We just have $50,000 left on the house.

We do. We have about $20,000 in savings.

Yes.

Yep. Yep. So we cash bought a vehicle in March. Um, we traded my old Equinox in for a minivan. So I'm a minivan mom. Um, and so we were able to pay cash for that, which is pretty awesome feeling. Um, and then everything else is paid for. So we have no debt, no nothing. Um, and then he has side job Saturdays and I have side job Saturdays.

And so I'm a part-time photographer and so he's a blue collar man. So he goes and welds and what does he make?

I

Probably right around 70,000, I think.

A week after taxes.

Side job Saturday.

I, not his. Mine was, I do photography, and so I charge $300 a session, and I just budget to do two sessions a month. That's very minimum for me.

It could be $1,000 a month, easily.

No.

I don't have a good reason.

I was going to tell him later.

So I would be vested for retirement at the end of July, and so then probably August.

But we wanted to stay that vested so I could get the pension when I retire with the state. But then also I put in extra retirement. So I put in about 15% of my income once I started here. And so I have roughly about $30,000 in retirement just with the state.

And I love what I do. So I work in recruitment for a college. And I love what I do to recruit these students for technical education. It's just my babies are calling me home.

When I retire.

Yeah.

Right around $15,000 to $1,900, I think.

Yeah. So he just turned 31 this week, and I'm 29. And we have him putting $500 a month into a Roth IRA already.

I am with my current salary. With him, we're at $500 a month for him putting into a Roth IRA.

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Hi, Ken. Hi, George. Thank you so much for taking my call.

I'm a long-time listener and follower of Baby Steps.

My wife and I made it to Baby Steps 7 about five years ago. Hey-o.

Yeah, thank you. We've got a problem. I wanted to run something by you, get some advice, and see what you think.

So one of the things we're doing well that got us there is investing in our company 401k plans.

and i work for a small business very small family-owned company at the llc and have been in there 401k about 14 years have amassed about 315 000 at its height in march of this year we know what happened to the market in april so it went down about 250. and around that time the company wants to switch providers So we get a blackout notice. Everything seems kosher.

However, during that switch, I found out that we were fully divested out of the market for seven days, May 7th to May 14th. And if you've been watching the market, that was a rally period. So losses were realized. I lost about 237 shares valued at $18,000 out of that retirement account. And I've got about 30 more years projected to my retirement date.

So the question, I guess, is have you ever heard of that? I guess it's standard, I'm told, for retirement. an old 401k provider to liquidate to cash and then spend some days to move out of the market and then rebuy with a new company.

Sure.

I owe $279,000 on it, and when I look at that, it's anywhere from $400,000 to $500,000. I bought it when I was older. Amazing.

Exactly. The price went up about 6%.

Sure. Yeah, I appreciate that. We did talk to the employer. In fact, this happened in 2017 as well, but it was only 15 shares and about $800. Much smaller scale. Yeah. I warned the employer and asked the new advisor, hey, I've got scars from last time and the stakes are higher. Can this be avoided? And it wasn't avoided. When I followed up, the response was, sorry, that can happen.

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Thank you so much for both of you taking my call, and I'm sorry if I sound a little nervous. I'm

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fired from my job and i don't know um if i'm going to be able to find work and so i'm trying to figure out what my next steps could be what do you do right now i do i work for a home care agency and i do billing payroll scheduling and i hire okay i've been doing that for two years jack of all trades yeah but but but very administratively gifted i'm gathering

Hey, thanks for taking my call. I just have so many different lines of debt, lines of credit, and I don't know exactly when each payment's coming out or how much is coming out. I'm just wondering how I kind of get that under control.

Well, it's really only been a big issue since I bought a house.

It's a brand-new house, so no repairs or renovations, but those door-to-door guys are pretty good.

And a water softener.

And a Kirby vacuum.

Was this $4,000 vacuum? We got it for $1,500.

Yeah, who's we? Me and my wife got married in January. We bought the house in December.

Yes.

We are very much together on feeling the brunt of it. We both work together a lot on getting us paid. We don't right now have an account together. which we need to do. Uh, that's something we've talked about is getting a bank account together. A hundred percent.

Uh, I'm not sure I completely understand. I don't think I have.

Excluding the mortgage? Yes.

It's around $50,000.

Around $50,000.

No, no student loans, and we both have a paid-off car.

Um... That's kind of spotty right now. I just got a new job. I'm a waiter, so it goes up and down. But we've both made consistently anywhere from $60,000 to $70,000 each the past three years.

You said a new job. More like $50,000 this year.

I was a waiter at a nicer restaurant.

I do.

Well, the company I worked for transferred me to a struggling location, and then I quit that job to become a door-to-door salesman, and that just worked out. What are you selling? Well, I don't do that anymore.

I was selling internet. Yeah, I was selling internet.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

That's right.

All right.

Yeah.

That's right.

Okay.

Wow, yeah.

Oh, gosh.

Okay. There we go.

When you go through a job loss or job change and lose your employer-sponsored health insurance, there's no better time to try Christian Healthcare Ministries. That's right. There's another option besides COBRA to take care of your family during that time. Because if you didn't know, the cost of COBRA has gone up a lot in the past few years.

And CHM is an affordable, biblically-based alternative to health insurance. So do your own research. The CHM is a great option that's potentially a third of the price of Cobra. It's a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981.

And the support you get from CHM goes beyond helping you pay for medical bills. Members become part of a family that prays for them when they have a medical event. Try getting that with Cobra. So if you're going through a job loss, life change, or just want to explore other options to save on healthcare, CHM might be perfect for you. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month.

So find out more at chministries.org slash budget at chministries.org slash budget.

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Yes, I have, George. Sketchy and never trust them.

Yeah, they do. Delete.me actually goes in and removes your information from data broker websites, and it is an incredible service that everyone needs.

That's right. And then once they remove your information, then they're going to send you a detailed report telling you where they found your information, when they removed it, how many hours they've saved you. I mean, it is incredible. So detailed and it's beautiful.

Okay.

Yeah. You don't get involved.

I am doing pretty good today. Are you able to hear me pretty well?

Perfect. All right, then. Perfect.

So I am wanting a great startup advice on how to start paying off my student loans. I am 25 years old, and I am on the end of my road to become a licensed therapist. And during between the ages of 21 to 23, there was a lot of struggles, unfortunately, to where to the point I was possibly stealing food or risk of homelessness.

And when I have found out about refund checks, I was accepting multiple loans just to live off of those refund checks from ranging of $4,000 to about $7,000 to And now being 25, I have about $135,000 in student debt. I'm not out of college or graduate school yet, but I'm wanting to go ahead and start tackling this.

I absolutely agree. That is, That is one thought I was having because, unfortunately, in the state of Tennessee, a typical counselor's salary is only about $50,000 to $60,000 a year.

Yeah.

I absolutely do love that.

I will be done with my classes by May, and then I'm starting my internship May 26th to November 2nd.

No, this is an unpaid internship, but I already have a full-time job at another treatment center. When does that start? How much does it pay? Is that starting in November? No, so I'm currently working a full-time job right now, but my unpaid internship starts May 26th. Okay.

Yes.

I make roughly about... $42,000 a year.

Roughly about just the same. Because right now for mental health technicians, that's just what I work as. It's going to be about $22 an hour.

Okay, so for a therapist, it would really depend ultimately on the agency to where hopefully I can try to make about $55,000 to $60,000. That's my dream to start off with.

I have not paid all the way through yet.

I believe, oh gosh, it's still, you're talking about my student loans itself?

No.

Yes.

No, I do not have... Well, the only credit card I do have is care credit just for my dog to take him to his yearly debt appointments.

I do have a car loan.

That is about... I have the exact number right here. I have about $10,000 left on that.

That is about $350 a month.

Yes, correct.

She didn't sign anything, did she? No.