Unnamed Character 8

Do you think that your dad believes that guy who makes desserts?

Do you think that your dad believes that guy who makes desserts?

Does he need to hang them in the windows? That's creepy.

Does he need to hang them in the windows? That's creepy.

Can't you just communicate with him somehow?

Can't you just communicate with him somehow?

Yeah, it's a sex thing.

Yeah, it's a sex thing.

No.

No.

There was drugs in the deviled eggs. What? No, there wasn't. They were just deviled eggs. No, I could tell. It was just fucking full of velocity.

There was drugs in the deviled eggs. What? No, there wasn't. They were just deviled eggs. No, I could tell. It was just fucking full of velocity.

I stabbed you, I stabbed you a bunch.

I stabbed you, I stabbed you a bunch.

He's got like nine kidney parts.

He's got like nine kidney parts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's gonna be a forest walk.

It's gonna be a forest walk.

I miss the lava lamp.

I miss the lava lamp.

Isn't there like a river to the south? We can get water there, and then we can make mac and cheese after we milk some almonds.

Isn't there like a river to the south? We can get water there, and then we can make mac and cheese after we milk some almonds.

It's dangerous through the woods, and it's dangerous next to the river. It's dangerous everywhere. We live in the dimwood. Well, then let's just fucking go to Nookington. He can get laid. We can meet up with Nicky.

It's dangerous through the woods, and it's dangerous next to the river. It's dangerous everywhere. We live in the dimwood. Well, then let's just fucking go to Nookington. He can get laid. We can meet up with Nicky.

Yeah. I know. Well, we'll keep looking. We'll find them eventually. You know about the Ocelot?

Yeah. I know. Well, we'll keep looking. We'll find them eventually. You know about the Ocelot?

No, no, that's just how the mythos goes. It's about their ocelittle hands and their ocelotle bodies.

No, no, that's just how the mythos goes. It's about their ocelittle hands and their ocelotle bodies.

Even though they have little hands? That's right. The better to sneak into your window at night and steal your teeth and then put them underneath your pillow.

Even though they have little hands? That's right. The better to sneak into your window at night and steal your teeth and then put them underneath your pillow.

Remove tongue? I don't know what a human is, but yeah, sure.

Remove tongue? I don't know what a human is, but yeah, sure.

Just watch out.

Just watch out.

We'd have to go. Pendleton the Cobbler could never be defeated.

We'd have to go. Pendleton the Cobbler could never be defeated.

No, we have to just go north.

No, we have to just go north.

Yeah, it's weird how they do that. Isn't it weird?

Yeah, it's weird how they do that. Isn't it weird?

I'm hinged.

I'm hinged.

Unhutched, yeah. I haven't seen my hutch in a long time. I hope everything that was living inside of it is still alive when we get back.

Unhutched, yeah. I haven't seen my hutch in a long time. I hope everything that was living inside of it is still alive when we get back.

Yeah, you didn't tell us that there's something living in there. No, you didn't say that. Well, it's just like, I mean, yeah.

Yeah, you didn't tell us that there's something living in there. No, you didn't say that. Well, it's just like, I mean, yeah.

Well, I told you enough. The secrets of the universe.

Well, I told you enough. The secrets of the universe.

We could drop macaroni every few feet, and then we'd have a trail back in case we had to get out.

We could drop macaroni every few feet, and then we'd have a trail back in case we had to get out.

Yeah, the ocelot could find us. Good idea. Don't do what I just said.

Yeah, the ocelot could find us. Good idea. Don't do what I just said.

We have to clean all this shit up? I don't know how to clean up a lava lamp. It's all gooey. We're in the woods. Just leave it. Just leave it. It's going to be fine.

We have to clean all this shit up? I don't know how to clean up a lava lamp. It's all gooey. We're in the woods. Just leave it. Just leave it. It's going to be fine.

This is going to be a long trip.

This is going to be a long trip.

I hope in a few hundred feet we run into a cheap motel.

I hope in a few hundred feet we run into a cheap motel.

If Pendleton is the Ocelot, he's going to take you first. I mean, it's all right if you want to Maya them.

If Pendleton is the Ocelot, he's going to take you first. I mean, it's all right if you want to Maya them.

I have a water skin and a tinderbox and one day of rations and a pen with a bee on it and a notepad and a mess kit and a dart and a bedroll and a spelling bee winner blue ribbon.

I have a water skin and a tinderbox and one day of rations and a pen with a bee on it and a notepad and a mess kit and a dart and a bedroll and a spelling bee winner blue ribbon.

You did? You took it from me?

You did? You took it from me?

Oh, I'll just remove it from my inventory. Move to Peggy.

Oh, I'll just remove it from my inventory. Move to Peggy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, we're going right into that one.

Oh, we're going right into that one.

Where did you get the water?

Where did you get the water?

I don't know. It's hard to think your own death. You have to find people that look like you and then you have to kill them so you have a body to live behind. And then you have to find a replacement for that person.

I don't know. It's hard to think your own death. You have to find people that look like you and then you have to kill them so you have a body to live behind. And then you have to find a replacement for that person.

Oh, that was fun.

Oh, that was fun.

I've got a ration, though. I've got a day's worth of ration. We can all split. I've had it since you found me right outside of Pottsville. I've got a ration on my lower back.

I've got a ration, though. I've got a day's worth of ration. We can all split. I've had it since you found me right outside of Pottsville. I've got a ration on my lower back.

I forgot, I ate it.

I forgot, I ate it.

They stopped Mickey? Made you stop reading books?

They stopped Mickey? Made you stop reading books?

Oh. What kind of books did you read?

Oh. What kind of books did you read?

About Dark Force things, yeah.

About Dark Force things, yeah.

Which came first, the looking down the hallway or the ability to look down the hallway?

Which came first, the looking down the hallway or the ability to look down the hallway?

Like, were you able to look down both ways in the hallway when you got started? Or did you learn how to do it because you were trying to look down both ways?

Like, were you able to look down both ways in the hallway when you got started? Or did you learn how to do it because you were trying to look down both ways?

You know, that's a sad story. I'm going to give you one of my books that I have suddenly because chat made a funny recommendation. I'm going to steal it from chat.

You know, that's a sad story. I'm going to give you one of my books that I have suddenly because chat made a funny recommendation. I'm going to steal it from chat.

A hooman. What the hell is that? A hooman wolf? It's crazy, it's all about magic. Where did you find this book? This thing is kind of freaky.

A hooman. What the hell is that? A hooman wolf? It's crazy, it's all about magic. Where did you find this book? This thing is kind of freaky.

He's selling tall tales. It's always possible. It's like a one-on-one.

He's selling tall tales. It's always possible. It's like a one-on-one.

I'm playing darts. I can't see without the fire.

I'm playing darts. I can't see without the fire.

I don't want to freeze to death.

I don't want to freeze to death.

Maybe we need to make more fire.

Maybe we need to make more fire.

As a third option, I think we should make more fire.

As a third option, I think we should make more fire.

Then no one's going to be able to follow us in the forest.

Then no one's going to be able to follow us in the forest.

Can you see anything coming up behind you in lightness?

Can you see anything coming up behind you in lightness?

Okay, good. I was just checking because I can't see behind me.

Okay, good. I was just checking because I can't see behind me.

Yeah, but that's not behind them, because they're just turning their head. They're just facing a new direction. That's horse shit.

Yeah, but that's not behind them, because they're just turning their head. They're just facing a new direction. That's horse shit.

Well, now we can't play darts.

Well, now we can't play darts.

I'll read you a bedtime story, okay? Okay, okay.

I'll read you a bedtime story, okay? Okay, okay.

The ventriloquist pulled out his dummy box and opened it.

The ventriloquist pulled out his dummy box and opened it.

The two clasps made a loud shunk. Shunk sound. Oh, okay. And the top creaked open.

The two clasps made a loud shunk. Shunk sound. Oh, okay. And the top creaked open.

The puppet's not alive, is it?

The puppet's not alive, is it?

But before the ventriloquist could reach in, a tiny ventriloquist hand slapped up on the top of the box. The puppet's alive! Oh, God! Oh, wait, this is the wrong one.

But before the ventriloquist could reach in, a tiny ventriloquist hand slapped up on the top of the box. The puppet's alive! Oh, God! Oh, wait, this is the wrong one.

Here, I'll start again. The opossum who lived.

Here, I'll start again. The opossum who lived.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Big hands?

Big hands?

Some say on quiet nights, you can still hear him pissing.

Some say on quiet nights, you can still hear him pissing.

So it's the 20th anniversary?

So it's the 20th anniversary?

Pissing for 20 years, that's a lot.

Pissing for 20 years, that's a lot.

I'm so glad I didn't eat it.

I'm so glad I didn't eat it.

What do you mean? You're breathing like a lamb. You can't hear that? No, I don't know what you mean.

What do you mean? You're breathing like a lamb. You can't hear that? No, I don't know what you mean.

Do I hear anything?

Do I hear anything?