Yudmi Sharma

Thank you, thank you. How are we doing tonight, folks? We good? Yeah! All right. See, I was drunk in Vegas one time. And what I didn't know about Vegas is that you can't hail a cab anywhere on the strip. It has to be like a hotel or one of these designated locations. I didn't know that.

So I'm trying to hail a cab, and I'm thinking they're not stopping because they're like, oh, we don't want this drunk idiot in our car. But finally, I was able to kind of hail one. And for whatever reason, my drunken mind was like, hey, go speak Spanish to this guy because he's going to be more amicable in giving you a ride.

So I got to his car, and I was like, señor, Hotel Luxor y Casino, por favor. And without missing a beat, he's like, rápido, cabrón. I got in the car, we looked at each other and realized we're both Indian. Yeah, he's like, where do we go from here? And I was like, Luxor. Luxor still, por favor. Por favor. I'm trying to enjoy the little things in life, like little titties.

Man, I wish I had little titties. You ever go to give a woman a hug and you and her both realize at the same time you have bigger cysts than her? Embarrassing for everybody. Thank you.

Two and a half years.

I don't know. Do you always look like a gay one? Whoa!

So I take support for the most part. Do you work from home?

Usually Zoom calls, but you know. So you, okay. It's first, I have a couple clients who, they need older clients, they need some stuff done, and I'm like, yeah, I got it. Do you Indian it up when you answer those calls? I try not to. I am here to assist you, or whatever. Oh, yeah. I've never heard the Indian accent before. Can you guys believe it?

Not really, no. It's...

I got a couple moves, Tony. I don't want to show any of those to you, though. Are you gay? It's incredible. No. It is unbelievable.

Oh.

Whoa. Mostly into Latinas. Look at you. It's not super serious, so ladies, I'll be outside, okay?

Yeah, I don't think... Oh, and have this live forever on the internet. Fuck all of you.

Mostly I'm just doing comedy for the moment. That's an H, not an M, huh? Yes, sir. UD. UD.

Yeah.

Just doing comedy for the most part. I'm here in Austin. I'm an L.A. comic here for the week and did a couple shows and now I'm here.

Two and a half years. So the whole time in L.A.? Yes, sir.

A lot has changed, by the way. Like what? Well, I guess it got worse for a while. After COVID, it got worse, and then it's come back up now, I think.

Yeah. Crimes and shit like that, you know.

Ah, well, listen, ladies. Ladies.

Manhattan Beach. Oh. I got a place in Manhattan Beach, go there, first date, and then do what you gotta do. It's your place? No, no, like a nice restaurant there. Okay, what kind of food is it exactly? Pasta, you know, Italian place.

Carbonara? Sure. Thai shit?

Hell yeah. You know what that is? A little fagguccini for Tony. Oh, you son of a bitch.

Fucking ever. And then I've been known as the guy, the Indian Bert Kreischer fucking forever. Yeah, no thanks.