Menu
Sign In Pricing Add Podcast
Podcast Image

anything goes with emma chamberlain

friendship is complicated, advice session

Sun, 17 Nov 2024

Description

hello and welcome back to advice session. today we are revisiting a topic that we have discussed before: friendship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Audio
Featured in this Episode
Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?

0.149 - 24.427 John Smith

Hello and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on and I give you my unprofessional advice. And today we are revisiting a topic, a topic that we've discussed before, the topic of friendship. And I feel like the topic of friendship is bountiful.

0

24.888 - 51.663 John Smith

There's never-ending conversations to have about friendship because friendship is complicated. It's constantly in flux. We're constantly making new friends, cutting off other friends, dreaming to have a larger friend group. Kind of wishing we could scale down the friend group. You know, like we're constantly evolving our social circle. And because of that, it's this bottomless pit of conversation.

0

52.203 - 56.147 John Smith

What a beautiful thing that is. Without further ado, let's begin.

0

57.24 - 76.467 Advertisement

3,000 action stores in Europe and we celebrate with extremely low prices. For example, our Superfin Waschmittelpots, 18 pieces, only 2,99. And our Spectrum Sprühfarbe for perfect coverage, only 2,33. For even more extremely low prices, visit our stores or check out the app Action. Small prices, great fun.

0

77.367 - 98.373 John Smith

Somebody said, how do I find the balance between asking others to make plans and expecting others to ask me? That is a great question because ideally, you don't have to strike a balance. It just sort of happens naturally. When the stars are aligned for whatever reason, this is not even a thought that crosses your mind.

98.974 - 118.853 John Smith

You know, it's kind of a beautiful thing when a friendship is so locked in that you don't even have to play the game. And honestly, I think that's ideal. Same thing with romantic relationships. Ideally, we find somebody that we don't have to play the game with. We're not sort of being like, well, they asked me last time, so I guess I ask this time.

119.033 - 142.911 John Smith

Ideally, we're finding somebody that allows us to be intuitive in our friendship. Like, oh, I'm going to go shopping. Maybe I should invite so-and-so. Ideally, we're finding somebody who invites us to think of them in a way that's just genuine. You know what I'm saying? Like, ideally, we don't have to play the game.

143.451 - 159.548 John Smith

However, in the beginning of a friendship, everybody's kind of on their best behavior and, you know, you don't want to seem clingy. but you also don't want to put in no effort because then the other person will think that you don't care. So there is an element of playing the game, right?

160.068 - 174.279 John Smith

Even in the most authentic, genuine friendships and relationships where there's no games being played, a lot of times it started with some games because, I don't know, you're trying to make a good impression and So, you know, fair enough.

Chapter 2: How to balance friendship efforts?

1587.339 - 1616.598 John Smith

But somebody in my corner, in my life, who doesn't believe that I can struggle psychologically because I have a comfortable job, that is ridiculous. I'm sorry, it is. Because unfortunately, those things don't... They maybe can help with... They can help in a lot of ways with mental health challenges. A lot of mental health challenges are caused... by money-related things, career-related things.

0

1616.878 - 1638.171 John Smith

I am not turning a blind eye to that, okay? I am fully aware of that. However, that does not mean that people who have seemingly perfect lives do not have mental health issues, because they do. And so I've experienced that where people in my personal life who like know me well enough, I'm like, what? If anyone should see me as a normal human being, it should be you. You're in my personal life.

0

1638.211 - 1653.542 John Smith

You're not looking at me through a screen. You actually see me, know me, are in my home, like whatever, telling me I'm not allowed to have mental health challenges. I've been there, okay? Let me tell you, getting rid of those people, getting them out of your life is... critical for your wellbeing.

0

1654.102 - 1677.555 John Smith

I can't tell you how damaging it was to have people around that believed that all of my challenges were faked to somehow be sort of relatable or something or to be normal or something. It's horrible. It's horrible. And to me, to be honest, it's kind of evil. So my point is I've had an experience with this sort of situation and it's not fair. It's not fair. And I know that feeling.

0

1677.816 - 1700.694 John Smith

So if they respond badly, just be like, oh, time for them to go. Those are not my friends anymore. Or if it's like your boyfriend or your girlfriend or whoever, I don't care. If you talk about your mental challenges genuinely and truthfully and somebody responds and says that you're faking it for attention, which honestly seems so evil, like it's so evil saying it out loud.

1700.734 - 1718.426 John Smith

I'm like, I can't believe people actually do that. Like, it's like, I cannot comprehend it. It's actually very crazy to me. If somebody does that to you, you now know, wow, I have one less person that I have to pay attention to now because that person is now removed from my life. Okay, moving on.

1719.386 - 1741.638 John Smith

Last but not least, somebody said, my childhood best friend went off to college and came back a completely different person. How do I handle this change? Well, the truth is we have to accept people for who they are as they ebb and flow. You know, our personalities are constantly evolving and changing, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. It is what it is, okay?

1741.678 - 1760.054 John Smith

So that's the first thing, acceptance. You need to accept that your friend is a different person now. They have lived life that you have not and they are now different. The first step is acceptance. And the second step is to figure out what you want to do from there. It's okay to be like, you know what? I don't click with the new them. I think I need to let this friendship go.

1760.174 - 1772.866 John Smith

And it's also okay to be like, I don't know if I like it yet. I'm just going to give it a chance. And it's also okay to be like, you know, it's different and it's weird, but I'm going to try to get used to it. Like all of those are okay and valid and fair.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.