The Missing Skill: Learning to Manage Conflict and Shift Culture and Performance

Conflict is unavoidable. Silence is optional. Skills are learnable, but only if leaders seek them out.In this episode of Connecting the Dots, Jennifer Halsall is joined by Pinky Ghadiali, conflict resolution practitioner, mediator, and leadership coach, to unpack why conflict continues to damage culture and performance and why most leaders were never taught how to handle it.They explore how avoidance turns toxic, how power dynamics quietly shape behaviour, and why “open door policies” often fail in practice. This is not about fixing everything in one conversation. It’s about learning the skill.Pinky Ghadiali works with leaders across healthcare, pharma, and fitness to help them manage conflict without drama or avoidance, using mediation, coaching, and facilitation.Website: ⁠https://www.bypinky.com/⁠LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/bypinkyg/?originalSubdomain=uk⁠🎯 Small Steps Leaders Can Take TodayConflict doesn’t improve overnight, but behaviour can change immediately.Start here:Use the three-minute listening rule: listen without interrupting, fixing, or defending.Thank people for raising difficult issues — even when it’s uncomfortable.Ask “What am I missing?” to reduce defensiveness and surface blind spots.Notice your signals under pressure: tone, body language, phone use.Name tension early: “We’ve hit a tension here — let’s slow this down.”Shift from managing to serving: leadership is about creating safety to speak.Books Referenced:Difficult Conversations — Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila HeenGetting to Yes — Roger Fisher & William UryEpisode Overview:00:01 – Why conflict is still taboo at work02:49 – The leadership burnout caused by avoidance04:21 – Safety, trust, and walking on eggshells08:59 – Why one-off conflict training doesn’t work09:52 – Formal vs informal power in organisations13:51 – “Conflict isn’t the problem. Silence is.”16:05 – Listening under pressure18:01 – Empathy, curiosity, and judgement22:38 – Managing expectations in hard conversations24:27 – How power shapes communication27:13 – Informal influence and culture change31:05 – Do people feel smaller or stronger after you speak?36:47 – Emotional regulation and reactive leadership39:08 – The three-minute listening challenge46:06 – Promotions, promises, and negotiation53:25 – Conflict tools and practical frameworks55:06 – Book recommendations57:25 – Closing reflections

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