Dam Internet, You Scary!
328: Knighted Penguins, Sleep Disorders & IG Ruining Everything | DIYS with Jay Washington
13 Nov 2025
🍽️ FACTOR Get 50% off + FREE breakfast for a year! Go to https://factormeals.com/DIYS50off and use code DIYs50off 💨 INDACLOUD If you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code [DIYS] at https://inda.shop/DIYS #indacloudpod 💎 GLD New customers get 50% Off AND a FREE chain with code DIYS at https://www.GLD.com 💳 CASH APP New customers earn $10 with code SECURE10 when sending $5 to a friend. Terms apply. Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. This week on Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir is joined by comedian, actor, writer, and content creator @MrJayWashington this episode… man. It starts wild and somehow gets wilder. We cover everything from Instagram ruining society, Pizza Hut nostalgia, knighted penguins, dolphins with boundary issues, a man who sleeps 300 days a year, a nurse who “lightened his workload” the worst way possible, porn logic, relationship hypotheticals, and the most unhinged analogies you’ll hear all week. Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary 0:00 – Welcome Back + Immediate Chaos 0:51 – Freeballing & Bathroom Podcasting 4:27 – Career Blessings & Christmas Movie 5:05 – Christmas Porn Joke Derailment 6:01 – “Stop One Invention?” → Instagram 8:25 – Food Reviewers & Shucking/Jiving Talk 9:04 – Terry Crews / Fitness Joke 10:33 – Black vs White Porn Titles 10:56 – MAS*H “Spear Chucker Jones” Discovery 12:04 – FACTOR Ad Read 15:20 – Bruce/Caitlyn Transition Joke 16:34 – Instagram’s Evolution to Insanity 18:23 – Twerking Distractions & Discipline 19:27 – Twitter Porn Algorithms 20:35 – Pizza Hut Nostalgia 23:13 – Beaded Curtain Video Store Era 24:05 – Porn Names & Credit Roll Joke 25:26 – Storyline Porn Rant 25:47 – POV Porn… with a Condom 26:16 – “Realistic Porn” Requirements 28:29 – Meta Glasses VR Porn Debate 30:23 – Knighted Penguin Story 31:52 – Brigadier Penguin Explained 32:22 – Dolphins Are Menaces 33:13 – Dolphin Brain Visual 34:01 – Woman in Love with Dolphin Story 35:21 – Woman Who Married a Ferris Wheel 36:29 – IN THE CLOUD Ad Read 39:57 – God Talking at 3AM 40:57 – Negotiating With Noah for Ark Admission 42:22 – Hollywood: Talent vs Value 43:43 – Sugar Baby Logic 45:09 – Sugar Mama Age Limit (83) 46:13 – Slavery Draft Pick Bit 47:18 – German Nurse Who Killed 10 Patients 50:10 – “Lightening the Workload” Breakdown 51:12 – Nursing Home Bed Turnover Reality 53:22 – Uncle Remus vs Harold’s (Chicago Debate) 54:08 – GLD Ad Read 58:42 – Jesus, Mary, Joseph & Theories 1:00:02 – Did Joseph Smash? + Jesus’ Brother James 1:01:18 – Superhead vs Mary Magdalene 1:03:09 – Trailer Park Fight League 1:04:13 – Man Who Sleeps 300 Days a Year 1:05:35 – Could You Care for Someone Like That? 1:06:19 – Partner With No Limbs Hypothetical 1:07:09 – Airline Carry-On Problem 1:08:18 – Box, Packing Peanuts, iPad Playlist 1:09:36 – Playlist for Limbless Bae 1:10:29 – CASH APP Ad Read 1:11:45 – AI Version of Tahir 1:12:20 – Losing Voice & Voice Filters 1:13:14 – Bigfoot Joke + Kids Don’t Watch Dad 1:14:15 – Reverse Cowgirl… Solo Edition 1:15:19 – Dry Jacking vs Lotion Debate 1:16:11 – Jacking Off Using Imagination?! 1:17:05 – Porn Volume vs Neighbors 1:18:32 – Interracial Line Joke 1:18:52 – Hippie’s Editing Hell 1:19:17 – Jay’s Outro + Links
No persons identified in this episode.
This episode hasn't been transcribed yet
Help us prioritize this episode for transcription by upvoting it.
Popular episodes get transcribed faster
Other recent transcribed episodes
Transcribed and ready to explore now
3ª PARTE | 17 DIC 2025 | EL PARTIDAZO DE COPE
01 Jan 1970
El Partidazo de COPE
13:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana
01 Jan 1970
Fin de Semana
12:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana
01 Jan 1970
Fin de Semana
10:00H | 21 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana
01 Jan 1970
Fin de Semana
13:00H | 20 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana
01 Jan 1970
Fin de Semana
12:00H | 20 DIC 2025 | Fin de Semana
01 Jan 1970
Fin de Semana