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ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

ESSAY August 2025 - Dealing With Infatuation - KB, St Louis

13 Aug 2025

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Detachment was the path that led him to a break from the unreal and to seek what was real. Without a doubt, my program is one of progress, not perfection. It has taken me some years to understand how infatuation has kept me bound to lust. Infatuation, I believe, is a distortion of reality. What begins in me as a natural response, appreciating what is attractive in another person, slides out of reality and into the realm of fantasy. My desire, grounded in lust, changes an appreciation into an unnatural desire to possess. Oftentimes, I don’t know much about the person I’m infatuated with. My infatuation is not based on knowledge or the actual qualities of a person, but is based on what I want to see and what I imagine myself doing with that person.

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