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ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

ESSAY February 2025 - My Heart’s Journey to Higher Power - Nathalie V., Antwerp, Belgium

22 Feb 2025

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I have always been, like every other creature with a heartbeat, in need of love. I needed attention from others, connection with others, and the knowledge that I was accepted for who I was. I was often overly sweet to my mom as a little girl and then as a teenager in hopes of receiving her love. However, no matter how much my mom loved me and how hard she tried to give us everything, I didn’t feel the love I so longed for. My father moved to the other side of the country when I was 10, so I couldn’t find it there, either. How I longed for that love, though, for their love. I longed for a sense of being good enough, for feeling I mattered, that I was seen—for safety, acceptance, and recognition.

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